Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames
This page contains the best Anthony Scaramucci nicknames that I have been able to find, and some that I came up with myself, along with some choice Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner and other Trump family/friend/associate/lapdog nicknames ...
Related pages: Famous Nicknames, Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?
It has been scientifically proven that Anthony Scaramucci's blow-dryer, by evaporating massive quantities of hair gel and other hair products, is now the leading cause of global warming!
CURRENTLY RISING Anthony Scaramucci nicknames ...
Yesterday's News
Yesterday's Spews
The Mooch and Moochifer
The Mooch Smooch (Trevor Noah)
Smoochie and Smoochi
Poochie
Sh*t-Stirrer (a middle name the Mooch proposed to New York Magazine, except that it would make his initials A.S.S.)
A$$ (problem solved!)
A$$hole
A$$licker
A$$ki$$er
The Untrained Pomeranian
Loose Lips Scaramucci (his lips, although flapping loosely, are firmly planted in Trump's pale orange posterior)
Moocholini (Michael R. Burch)
Scaramooch
Fandango
The Premature Ejaculator
Little Anthony and the Diphtherials
The 'Do-Whopper (Michael R. Burch)
The Incredible Shrinking Spokesman
Spokestoady
Scary Spice II
Ditto
Human Cocaine (SNL)
The Human Tanning Bed (John Oliver)
The Human Pinky Ring (Seth Myers)
The Human Toilet Plunger (Trump gold-plates his toilets, the Moocher plunges in head-first)
Call Scareamucci The Dandy Lyin' and The Sizzlin' Swooner, after George F. Will wrote: "Looking, as prudent people are disinclined to do, on the bright side, there are a few vagrant reasons for cheerfulness, beginning with this: Summer love is sprouting like dandelions. To the list of history’s sublime romances — Abelard and Heloise, Romeo and Juliet, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy — add the torrid affair between Anthony Scaramucci and President Trump. The former’s sizzling swoon for the latter is the most remarkable public display of hormonal heat since — here a melancholy thought intrudes — Jeff Sessions tumbled into love with Trump. Long ago. Last year."
NEWS RASH: Scary Spicer has been replaced by Anthony Scaramucci, who is even scarier! Scaramooch in a rare instance of not dancing the Fandango once called Trump a "hack politician." But Mr. About-Face, yet another Gold Man Sucks hedge fund manager, has suddenly become Trump's biggliest and most gushingest Fan Boy. Did Mr. Moneybags offer him a raise? Now the Hacker Backer has Trump's back, or at least The Brownnoser's lips are planted firmly in Trump's pale orange posterior. Mr. Sicko Pants is busy making hay where the sun don't shine. Friends who once called Scaramucci the Mooch are now calling him the Smoocher. But we prefer the more accurate and descriptive A$$ki$$er. And while Moocholini has been identified by certain experts as belonging to a hyperactive species of Hedge Hog, there is a new report that he is actually a Scare Monkey. We, however, are actively investigating the possibility that Two-Faced Scaramucci is both! (We also believe he'll be the lead villain in the next Bratman movie.) At last word Little Tony Tutone had just cornered the world markets for bronzer and hair gel, while his blow-dryer is now the leading cause of global warming! Please stay "tuned" for further developments concerning Press Deputy DIP-pity-'Do.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
NEWS TRASH: Alas, Scaramooch will be forced to 'do the Tandango or go it alone, since his wife announced that she will divorce Mr. Irreconcilable Deferences because of his "naked political ambition." That may be a polite way of saying she will step gracefully aside so that The Premature Ejaculator and The Great Gropesby can consummate their obviously torrid love affair, after they were caught in flagrante delicto on national TV.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
NEWS GNASH: There's more bad news for Trump. His new White House Chief of Staff is a no-nonsense, straight-shooting former Marine: General John F. Kelly. Now that The ICE Man Cometh, what will become of Kelly's Zeroes? A longtime friend of Kelly's told The Washington Post that he "won't suffer idiots and fools." Obviously that means Low No IQ Trump is in deep sh*t! Does Kelly's refusal to abide idiots and fools make Trump a Lamé Duck President? Or perhaps a Flambé Duck President? On the brighter side, thanks to the hiring of Anthony "the Mooch" Scaramucci (yes, that is actually what he calls himself!) the Trump administration has finally come up with a unified message ... (drumroll please) ... ta da ... and the GRAND UNIFIED MESSAGE is ... Jeff Sessions sucks! And Reince Priebus sucks his own c*ck! And the Mooch would absolutely love to smooch Trump's c*ck! And, oh, yes ... (drumroll please) ... double ta da ... while Trump is being brownnosed and fellated by the Mooch, he is without-a-doubt the "most presidential" of presidents other than Abraham Lincoln! Thus King Gorge is immediately ready for Mount Rushmore (which would be sublimely appropriate, since he seems to be in more than a rush to mount the Mooch)!―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
NEWS BACKLASH: Tracy Klugian described herself as "furious" about the canning of Anthony "the Conned Mic Gold Rush" Scaramucci. Klugian and other comedians are now demanding that President Trump appoint a replacement acceptable to the comedy industry. "Unless he picks someone of the order of Gary Busey or Snooki, it's going to get ugly," she warned. In related news, Andy Borowitz has estimated that the Smooch-Mooch's firing could cost the comedy industry four to five billion dollars! But the real loser in all this is Mario Cantone, who could have been the next Melissa McCarthy.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
NEWS SMASH: Folks, we can all take deep breaths and relax! Certain disaster has been averted, and things are back to merely abnormal in Trump's Bizarro World! We no longer have to fear a new Uncivil War between our government and mobs of homeless, starving comics! According to deniable sources, Kellyanne "Wrongway" Conway will soon swoop in backwards asswards to replace the seemingly irreplaceable Mooch-Pooch! One Trump lapdog can easily replace another! And the Con-Way Twit will undoubtedly observe Moocholini's prime directive: "Always provide comedians with the best possible material. Make their jobs as easy sleazy as possible!"―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci nicknames ...
The Mooch (incredibly, this is what the Grate Communicator calls himself!)
The Moocher
The Smooch
The Smoocher
The Mooch Smooch (Trevor Noah)
The Cooch Smoocher
Deep Smooch
A$$ki$$er (Michael R. Burch)
Ass Smooch
The Ass Smoocher
Scaramooch
The Scary Moocher
The Sizzlin' Swooner (George F. Will)
The Brownnoser
Trump's Proctologist
The Trump-Schmoozer
The Trump Lover
Poochie
Scary Poochie
Little Tony Lap Pooch
Excess Baggage (Trump appointed Scaramucci chief strategy officer of the U.S. Export-Import Bank, an institution Trump called “excess baggage” during his campaign.)
Mr. Carry-On (Trump carried the Mooch around like second-hand luggage, and the Mooch carried on ... and on ... and on!)
Trump's Court Jester ("In Italian theater, a scaramuccia is a menacing court jester who inevitably falls from grace and Trump's jester fit the archetype perfectly.")
Bratman's Joker
The Laughingstock
The Preening Peacock
Donnie's Dinglebert Taster (Jesters sometimes did double duty as food tasters.)
The Honeymooner (he asked his new staff to give him a "honeymoon" without leaks)
Sir Leakalot (immediately after complaining about leaks, he leaked the fact that Reince Priebus would be asked to resign "shortly")
The Premature Ejaculator
The Premature A$$a$$inator (Michael R. Burch)
Easy Cum, Sleazy Go (he made crude references to c*cks and got cold-cucked)
The Cold-Cocked Cuck
Cuck of the Walk
Cock of the Walk
Schmuck of the Walk
The Front-Stabber (Elizabeth Williamson)
The Straight Shooter (he kept shooting himself straight in the foot)
The A$$a$$in (he expressed a desire to personally "kill" the leakers even though it was only a dinner list!)
Loose Lips Scaramucci (his lips, although loose, are firmly planted in Trump's pale orange posterior)
Two-Faced Scaramucci (likely to be the lead villain in the next Bratman movie)
The De-Honeyed Mooner (his wife filed for divorce days after Trump hired him)
Mr. Irreconcilable Deferences (Michael R. Burch)
Mr. Irreconcilable References (Michael R. Burch)
The Hedge Hog (Scaramucci is a hedge fund manager)
The Hyperactive Hedge Hog
The Boss Hogg Hedger
The Goldman Sucks Crapitalist
The Crapitalist
Das Kapitalist
The Dough Nut
The Do'Nut
Shark Dressed Man-Boy
Mr. Sicko Pants (Scaramucci panted after Trump like a love-sick hound in heat)
Mr. Sicko-Fancy (Michael R. Burch)
The Con Mike Gold Rush
The Dandy Lyin'
The East Egger (Scaramucci grew up in Port Washington, the East Egg of F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel The Great Gatsby)
The Human Blow Dryer
Mr. Hair Gel
Press Deputy DIP-pity-'Do (Michael R. Burch)
Spritz Monkey
Spritz Flunkey
Shitz Flunkey
The Shitz
Scary Scaramucci
Scarface Scaramucci
Scarecrow
The Scaremonger
Scare-a-Douche
Scary Spice II
Ditto
Scare Monkey
Man-let of the Apes (Scaramucci is proof positive that scare monkeys did not evolve, proving Darwin wrong!)
Little Tony Monkeyshines (Apologies to monkeys everywhere!)
The Organ Grinder's Moochin' Capuchin (Apologies to capuchin monkeys everywhere!)
The Orang-You-Tan (Apologies to orangutans everywhere; Trump will obviously have to tan this trained money's hide on a regular basis!)
KooKoo (Apologies to the much kinder and more intelligent gorilla, KoKo.)
HanaBilko (KoKo's given name is Hanabiko.)
The Cuck Sucker (Scaramucci began fellating Trump in public as soon as he'd been hired; however what Trump is experiencing may be better described as "hellatio"!)
The Cuckold (Scaramucci's wife did the "right" thing: she stepped aside, allowing two old cucks to consummate their obviously torrid love affair!)
The Louche Douche
The Sicko-Phant
The Hacker Backer (he called Trump a "hack" and a "bully" in an interview with Fox Business News)
The AntiChrist's Slave ("I serve @POTUS agenda and that's all that matters!")
The Ideal Slave (he told Chris Wallace that his ideals "don't matter at all" and that he's "subordinating" them to Trump's agenda)
Trump's Handmaiden
Trump's Lapdog
The Former Idealist
The Reformed Idealist
The Surreal Idealist
The Tweet Deleter (examples follow later on this page)
Fully Transparent Man (he admitted deleting the tweets)
The Bulimic (he has an "urge to purge")
Little Anthony and the Diphtherials (Michael R. Burch)
Fandango
Tandingo (pun on the movie title Mandingo)
High C-Note Tony
Little Tony Soprano (Michael R. Burch)
The 'Do-Whopper (Michael R. Burch)
Frankie Death Valley
Little Tony Tutone (Scaramucci recently cornered the world markets for bronzer and hair gel)
Trump's Plagiarist
Trump's Echo
Trump's Mini-Me
The Incredible Shrinking Spokesman (Michael R. Burch)
Spokestoady
The Grate Communicator
The "In" Direct Communicator
The Back-Stabber
Cain
His Brother's Bleeper (Michael R. Burch)
His Brother's Reaper (Michael R. Burch)
His Brother's Leaper (Michael R. Burch)
His Brother's Sweeper (Michael R. Burch)
More Anthony Scaramucci nicknames: Moocholini (Michael R. Burch), The Chaos Magnet, Mr. Con-troversy, Mr. Scar Power, Mr. About-Face, Fan Boy, The Bully Backer, Mr. Scare Up Money, The Lie Bridger (he started a company called SkyBridge Capital), The Bid Rigger, The Sky-High Lie Rigger, The Human Embodiment of a Double-Parked BMW (Seth Myers), The Death Merchant of Venice, Blind Venetian, SNL's Wildest Wet Dream, SNL's Ratings Bonanza, The Leakplugger, The Finger-in-the-Dike Boy, Nervous Nellie, Little Tony Bananas, Banana Boy, Cabana Boy, The Colorful Language Artist formerly known as Dunce, The Creature from the Colorful Language Lagoon, La Goon Boy, The West Wingnut, West Side Boor-y, The Cellar Dweller, The Batshit Crazy Male Bimbo, Carbon Copy, Eel-Boy, Eelusive Boy, Trump's Buoy, Trump's Boy Blunder, The Dunce, The Truant, Scathing Scaramucci (USA Today), Clean Slate Scaramucci (since he was fired)
Q: What's the difference between a BMW and Anthony Scaramucci?
A: With a BMW the pricks are all safely inside!
Here are some of the Grate Communicator's early communications:
Scary Scaramucci threatened to fire his entire staff unless a journalist (Ryan Lizza) revealed the source of a momentous "leak" (i.e., who would be attending a dinner at the White House).
The Scaremonger insisted that the "leaked" dinner list was a "major catastrophe."
The Leakplugger then leaked much bigger news: "Reince Priebus—if you want to leak something—he’ll be asked to resign very shortly."
Sir Leakalot's leaks continued unabated: "Reince is a fucking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac."
The source of the Scaremonger's anger? He insisted the Priebus had "cock-blocked Scaramucci for six months."
Scarface Scaramucci then ranted about reporting Priebus to the FBI and Department of Justice over a publicly available financial disclosure form.
"The swamp will not defeat him," he continued, referring to himself in the third person, "so they’re going to have to go fuck themselves!"
His foul tirade continued: "I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock!"
Loose Lips Scaramucci was really on a roll by now: "What I want to do is I want to fucking kill all the leakers! ..."
Apparently, Scarface Scaramucci would like to murder his own employees!
He closed by calling himself a "straight shooter," so the body count should prove impressive.
Scaramucci even called himself "the Mooch" saying: "OK, the Mooch showed up a week ago. This is going to get cleaned up very shortly, OK."
The Grate Communicator seemed anxious to start spreading his brand of batshit craziness: "Yeah, let me go, though, because I've gotta start tweeting some shit to make this guy crazy."
In another interview Scaramucci asked: "Isn't that the best thing about him [Trump], that he's wickedly wealthy?"
"We're going to win so much you are actually going to get tired of winning," Trump's Mini-Me promised co-anchor Chris Cuomo on CNN's "New Day" show.
Mini-Me again: "He is arguably the most media savvy person in history, but certainly of our times."
Min-Me on whether Trump ordered the firing of Michael Short: "I'm straightly not answering your question."
Mini-Me on Michael Short's firing: "I didn't want to fire him as much as I wanted him to resign."
Mini-Me on Trump's super powers: "He's going to get what he wants eventually, because this guy always gets what he wants, O.K.?"
Are we tired of Trump "winning" yet?
Anthony Scaramucci's deleted tweets include: (1) A tweet describing Newt Gingrich is an "odd guy" with "no judgment." (2) A congratulatory tweet in praise of Mitt Romney for his decision to avoid the "Trump spectacle." (3) A tweet describing himself as being "for Gay Marriage, against the death penalty, and Pro Choice." (4) Scaramucci was firmly against Trump's wall, as tweeted in favor of "social inclusion" and said "Walls don't work. Never have never will. The Berlin Wall 1961-1989 don't fall for it!" (5) Scaramucci also contradicted Trump by speaking positively about Islam, calling it a "religion of peace." (6) Scaramucci railed against climate-change deniers. (7) In two not-yet-deleted tweets Scaramucci said that the United States has too many guns and that he's "always been for strong gun control laws." But he apparently has no problem selling out his ideals when Trump starts throwing bones to his lapdogs.
Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection.
We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie). Little Lord Fauntleroy will also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the K-Rations.
Jared Kushner Nicknames
Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner
Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Acting President Kushner
Coup D'Tot (Michael R. Burch)
Putin's Protégé
Putin's American Viceroy
Putin's American Vice-Boy
Putin's Cush-Toy
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Poppet
Putin's Putty
Putin's Proxy
Fratsputin
Comrade Kushner
The Air (Steve Bannon, because Kushner glides in and out like a puff of air)
The Secretary of Everything (his White House nickname)
Madame Secretary
Jared the Palid
The Paladin
The Nixonian Nerd ("Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I did not collude with Russia. Like Sgt. Schultz, I know nutthink!")
Fully Transparent Boy (He claimed to be "fully transparent" on Russia.)
The Eager Beaver ("I am eager to share any disinformation I have with investigating bodies!")
Poor Little Rich Bitch
Little Jared (Ana Navarro)
Baby Boy (Ana Navarro)
Nerd Boy
Jarhead
Jughead
Jared "the Red" Kushner
Jarred Jared
Jarring Kushner
The Boy Blunder
The Shadow
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
The Red Queen ("Off with their heads!")
The Preppie Neo-Con
Nimrod (Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon)
Son of Babylon (the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the patriarch of Babylon)
The Crown Prince of Babble-On
Lucifer Incarnate
Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion)
Cuckoo Channel
Channel Kushner
Back Door Boy
Trump's Lawless Son-in-Law
The Neophyte
Jared the Unready
Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee)
The Warlock
The Preppy Schlep
The Easebroker
The Piece Broker
The Piss Broker
The Grease Broker
Mr. Cash-for-Visas
The Chinese Checker
The White Russian
Russian Rim Job
The Prim & Proper Prussian
JAG (Junior Apprentice Gerrymanderer)
Ivanka's KKKrush
Jivanka
Jervanka
Ivanka Trump Nicknames
Ivanka Wanker
I Wanna Wank Her
Ivanka Spanker
Proxy Wife
Nordic Goddess
Norwegian Wood Inducer
The First Lady-Daughter
The Acting First Lady
The Real First Lady
Mrs. Kushner
Kushner's Crush
Kushner's Cush Toy
The Smart One
Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell ... So MANY to Choose from ... Better Make it the Top 1,000!
(#1) Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets — when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (not sure if it was coined by the hacker group Anonymous, but this is one of my all-time favorites)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) Thurston Shitbag the Third — by Bill Maher
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart ... this one inspired a slew of jokes and similar nicknames ...
Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!
Tiny Hands Trump uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest dictatorial proclamations at his Birther Boy coming-out party. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but Man-Toddler Trump will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION, but he is no superhero. Short Attention Span Trump is the new official poster child for ADD. According to CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more exciting, more fun―like a cartoon! Such is the Boychurian Candidate's latest thought bubble. Fortunately the Combover Kid's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for Bratman's lack of trying to blow up the world!
Trump's nannies applaud as Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper learns to operate a pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train the Boss Baby's mouth (or his Twitter account)!
White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one). There is no doubt that Ivanka is the Godfather's favorite, since he gave her a position in his administration along with her husband Little Lord Fauntleroy. But if Junior is Fredo, wouldn't that make Senior another Fredo? Better call Puffed Up Daddy and his eldest son Dumb and Dumber! But where does this name game leave Eric Trump, a Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They seem to be a trio of Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it certainly seems to suit him.
"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets," Donald "Ponyboy" Trump Jr. told a real estate conference in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In 2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric "the Red" Trump how his father could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And Trump Jr. made the purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents crystal-clear when he informed Jared "Jarhead" Kushner and Paul "Mole" Manafort about the covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton – private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's Watson to figure this one out!
Currently Rising: Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more dignified and reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" A meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.
Also Rising: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, Dainty Donald, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a sparkly princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies." However, there was considerable confusion: was the correct hashtag #TrumpCurtsy or #TrumpCurtsey with an "e"? Well, the "e" seems a bit more feminine to us, so we are voting for "curtsey" as befitting Her Royal Highness Princess Prima Donna.
Trump Nicknames Continued, with our High Dishonorable Mentions ...
T-Rump
Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch)
The Ameri-Con President
SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States)
BLOTUS (Bloated Leader of the United States)
Tie-Coon
The Incredible Bulk (after Trump warned that he would be "very angry" if TrumpCare is not allowed to kill multitudes of Americans)
The Gold Man Sucks President
Daddy Warbucks
Mr. Transparency (after Trump said his wall must be transparent to allow Americans to watch out for flying bags of drugs!)
The Poor Little Rich Bitch
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
The Thinskinned Skinflint
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — by Graydon Carter
The White Pride Piper
Orange-Vanilla ISIS
A$$hole
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat — by Michael R. Burch
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (along with George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios (one of the cleverest Trump nicknames)
Nicknames for the Trump administration: Trolls Galore (Hillary Clinton), Amoral Flying Monkeys (Keith Olbermann), Rank Amateurs, Amateur Hour at the White House, Alternate Reality TV, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice, KKK: Kooks, Klowns and Kommissars, Den of the Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch), Hell on Earth, The Ninth Circle of Hell, The Fourth Reich, Hair Force One, Combover to the Dark Side, Hair Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch), Trump-Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Regressive Reds, The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch), The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium (Michael R. Burch), The Oval Ovary Assault Office, The Ovary Inspection Office (Michael R. Burch), Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch), AmeriKlan Idols, Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...
The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration: kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler: “government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article
Damien Trump and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!
Trump family nicknames: The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch), Donald Duck Dynasty, Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch), The Cold Ones, Children of the Corn, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Bitches of Eastwick
Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!
Nicknames of Trump's Family, Friends, Cabinet and Associates
Trump Immediate Family and Most Intimate Friends
Trump family nicknames: The Brooklyn Hillbullies, Donald Duck Dynasty, Children of the Corn, The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse, The Cold Ones
Trump supporter nicknames: Trump Nation, AlieNation, Tramps, Trump's Chumps, Chumpanzees, Putin's Puppets, Putin's Poppets, Re-flub-Lycans, Dumb and Dumber, The Deplorables, The Untouchables, Trumpites, Trumpettes, Trumpeters, Trumpeteers, Trumpniks, Trumpists, Trumpies, Trumpanzees, Trumpkins, Trumpaholics, Trumptards, Trumpster Divers, Trump's Schlumps, Troglodytes, Trump Junkies, The Walking Brain Dead, Groper Groupies, Sheeple, The Lost
G.O.P. now stands for Government of Putin and it is clearly of Putin, by Putin and for Putin.
Donald Trump nicknames: The Donald, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poodle, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, Comrade Trumputin, The Russian Mole, Russian's Unwitting Agent, Moscow's Useful Fool, Agent Orange, The Trump of Doom, The ANTICHRIST
Tiffany Trump nicknames: Tiff, Wild Card, Miss Invisible, The Other Daughter, Any Tiff, Tiff Fanny, Fit Fanny, The Unknown Trump
Barron Trump nicknames: Mini-Donald, Little Donald, Poor Little Rich Boy, Barron von Trump
Melania Trump nicknames: The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd), Melania Antoinette, First Babe, Melanoma, The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan), The Swamp Queen, Tinderella, The Trump Sitter, The Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in Isreal), TerminEX, (ditto), The Black Widow, Pussy Bow (because she wore a "pussy bow" to the St. Louis debate), Double Agent (Christen Clifford suggested that the "pussy bow" was a feminist rebuke of her husband's pussy groping), Agent 69, The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley), Mater Harry (pun on Mata Hari and Dirty Harry), Eye Candy, KKK (her bra size)
Eric Trump nicknames: Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, Eric of Orange, Eric Idle, Mr. Alt-Right, Mr. Roboto, Draco Malfoy, Sonny Corleone, Sonny-Boy, Butthead Trump, Eric the Hysteric, Eric the Cleric, Chip Off the Old Blockhead II
Donald Trump Jr. nicknames: Junior, Dunce Jr., Son of Drumpf, Donald Drumpkopf the Lesser, Ponyboy, Bozo Boy, Booby, Baby Boy, Chip Off the Old Blockhead, Skittles, Grade B T-Rump, Daddy's Human Shield, Beavis Trump, Uday Trump, Fredo Corleone, Fraido, Frayed Dough, The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)
"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets," Donald Trump Jr. told a real estate conference in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In 2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric Trump how his father could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And Trump Jr. made the purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents crystal-clear when he informed Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort about the covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton – private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's Watson to figure this one out!
Vladimir Putin nicknames: Vova, Abaddon (the Angel of Death), Vlad the Impaler, Vladula, Pale Moth (his KGB code name), Darth Vladimir, The Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, Blonde Bond, The Puppet Master, Trump's Controller, The BEAST
Sergey Kislyak nicknames: The Recruiter, The Mole Man, Russia's Top Spy, Trump's Handler, The Impresario
Natalia Veselnitskaya nicknames: Natashe, Natalia Romanova, Zora the Geek, Octohussy, Hussy Galore, Dishonor Blackman, Shill Masters Son, So Long Dimwit Adios, Bonita Booby Trap, Rink-a-Dink Fink, Blog Cabin Girl, High Jinx, Vesper Sinned, Triple X, Trip Lex, Strawberry Yields, Severance, Domino Downfall, Fredo's Downfall, The Knock-Off, Yet Another Loose End, Blunderball 007, Miss Russian Collusion Fusion, Trump Tower's Favored Immigrant (she is on parole with American Immigration), The Prosecutor's Bride (her nickname in Russia during her marriage to Alexander Mitusov)
Rinat Akhmetshin nicknames: Mr. Con-Fusion, The GRUsome Spook, The Mole, Mr. Counter Intelligence, The Propagandist, Putin's Shadow Lobbyist, The Man in the Shadows, The Shadowist, Trump's Controller, AK-47, The Mercenary, Russia's Gun-for-Hire, The Hacker, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold War, The Double-Speak Agent, The Lobbyist, Rinat of the Oligarchs
Aras Agalarov nicknames: The Mogul, The Oligarch, The Donald Trump of Russia, Azerbijani Aras
Emin Agalarov nicknames: Mogul Lite, Little Mogul, The Azerbijani Eminem
Yury Yakovlevich Chaika nicknames: The Crown Prosecutor, Trump's Elector
Rob Goldstone nicknames: The Gold Digger, The Name Dropper, The Pawn Broker, The Bet-Hedger (he posted a selfie of himself in a pro-Russia shirt hours after Trump was elected president), Nebbish Nero, Chubby Caligula, The Oligarch's Intimate
Denis Katsyv nicknames: The Launderer, Mr. Moneybags
Anatoli Samochornov nicknames: The Interpreter
Boris Epshteyn nicknames: Bore Us (his high school nickname), Boris Badenov, Putin's Proxy, The Russian Surrogate, The Rat, The Mole, Moscow's Investment Guru, Frankenstein Epshteyn
Alan S. Futerfas nicknames: Flutter-Fast, Scumsaver, The Mob's Legal Beagle, Mr. Mob, Mr. Mafia, Russian Red Futerfas, The Pork Avenue Trombonist
Rhona Graff nicknames: The Gatekeeper, Keeper of the Graft, Graff Spree
Jamie Gorelick nicknames: The Dropout, The Licked Lawyer
Abbe Lowell nicknames: Prayer Time, Kushner's Last Line of Defense, The Heavyweight
Peter W. Smith nicknames: The Go-Between, Putin's Procurer, The Hacker Backer
The "Big Six" or "Deep State Six"
Paul Ryan nicknames: Lyin' Ryan, Cryin' Ryan, Paul Pot, Pious Paul, Paul Ruin, Small-Ball Ryan, Beaver Cleaver, Eddie Munster, Alfalfa, Mr. 1%, A-ryan, Brown Nose (he was voted "Biggest Brown-Noser" by his graduating class in 1988), Nana Killer, The Granny Killer, Rathole, Trump's Cheerleader (Dan Rather), Ryan's Hopeless
Mitch McConnell nicknames: McCon Hell (Michael R. Burch), Fuckface McTurtlebitch, The Turtle (Jon Stewart), Dick Turtle, Mitch the Snitch, Mitch the Bitch, Mitch the Snitch-Bitch, Mitch the Glitch, Mitch the Twitch, Mitch the Shitz, Mitch Switch Bait, Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch), Ditch McConnell, The Ditch Dweller
Orrin Hatch nicknames: Orrin Goering, Orrin Moron, Orrin Boring, Borin' Orrin, Boring Snatch, The Hatchling, Half-Hatched Orrin, Down the Hatch Orrin, The Albino Weasel, Mucoso
Steve Mnuchin nicknames: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah
Gary Cohn nicknames: Sachs-man, Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Con Tiki, Globalist Gary, The Government Sacker, The Risk Taker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy
Kevin Brady nicknames: Colonel Klink, Death Warmed Over, Mean Ways Brady, Mr. Secret Payoff, The SalesTaxMan, The Sales Tax Shaman
The Rest of Trump's Inner Circle
Stephen K. Bannon nicknames: Acting President Bannon, Stephen KKK Bannon, Loose Cannon Bannon, Darkness Incarnate, AmeriKlan Idol, Deceivin' Stephen, Darth Vader, Darth Bannon, Sauron, Sour-Hun, The Great Manipulator (TIME), The Great Baby-Man-ipulator, The Great Totipulator, The Amerikan Goebbels, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (David Letterman), Steve "Fan Hate" Bannon, Rupert Murder-Doc, Mr. Destructo, Stephen "Sith Lord" Bannon, Supremacist Steve, The Dark Master of Disaster, Stephen Stipulator, Little Stevie Blunder, The Svengali
Kellyanne Conway nicknames: Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch), The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch), The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni), Motor Mouth (David Horsey), Smelly Anne Con-Job, Con-Way Twitter ("Can we con our way to the presidency, using Twitter?"), Con-Way Twit, "Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell), The Mercenary (Jim Newell), Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi), Free Agent (Joe Scarborough), Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch), Fatal Attraction (SNL), Mistress of Propaganda, Bride of Dracula, Spawn of the Undead, The Crypt Keeper, The Cryptomaniac, The Spinstress (Michael R. Burch)
Paul Manafort nicknames: The Count, The Uber-Lobbyist (David Catanese), Putin's Revenge, Yanukovych's Yankee Yanker, Russian Lobbyist-in-Chief, American Mole, The Ultimate Insider, Knuckles, Steamroller, The Six Million Ruble Man
Roger Stone nicknames: Roger Rabid (Michael R. Burch), Dirty Trickster (Elizabeth Burke), Roger the Artless Dodger, Professional Lord of Mischief, State of the Art Sleazeball, Boastful Black Prince of Sleaze, Roger "Glands of Stone," Ratf*cker, The Most Dangerous Person in America Today (The Village Voice)
Chief of Staff Reince Priebus nicknames: Rinse Penis, Rinse Priapus, Prince Penis, Prince Precipice, Prince Rhesus, Prince Rebus, Princess Reba, RNC PR BS (by removing all vowels), E Priebus Loonum, "Rinse Twice and Spit" Priebus, Prince Precipitous, Rancid Rinse, Rancid Penis, Rinse Repeat, The Mincing Prince, Rimjob Precipuss
Trump foreign policy adviser Carter Page nicknames: Stranichkin (Russian for "little page"), The Window Dresser, Putin's Page Boy, Putin's Pimp, Putin's Apologist, Moscow's Brazen Apologist (Michael Isikoff), Trump's Moscow Mystery Man (Julia Ioffe), The Russian Mole, The Gazprom Greaser, Who? (Corey Lewandowski, Politico, Bill Browder and other Real Experts on Russia)
Sarah Palin nicknames: Sarah Barracuda, Sarahcudda, Caribou Barbie, Half-Baked Alaskan, Moose-o-lini, The Wasilla Gurlilla or Gurlzilla, Whore of Babble-On, The Wasilla Hillbilly, Mama Grizzly, Palin-Drone, McCain's Bane, Weepin'-'n'-Wailin' Sarah Palin (Michael R. Burch)
Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch nicknames: Darth Evader, Goldman Sachs' Rubber Stamp, A$$hole, The Unjust Justice, The Grinder (for grinding ordinary Janes and Joes under the crushing wheels of corporations), The Greek Geek, Fratboy, FIJI-boy and the Fraternizer (for defending his college frat against charges of date rape)
Bill O'Reilly nicknames: Shill O'Reilly, Bull O'Really, Bill O'Goods, The Spin Zone Doctor, The Spin Doktor, The Spin DoKKKtor, Papa Bear (Stephen Colbert), Mr. Sexual HarA$$ment, Sex Beast, Sexual Predator, The Permanent Vacationer, Big O (George W. Bush), Podzilla (since his new medium will be podcasts)
Corey Lewandowski nicknames: Gory Corey, Mr. Assault and Battery, The Lobbyist, Never-Elected (he received a whopping 7 votes in his first election campaign and never won an election), The Wand of Death
Trump's Cabinet
Trump cabinet nicknames and Trump administration nicknames: Monster's Ball (David Axelrod), The White Supremacist House, The Sicko-phants (Michael R. Burch), Trumplandia, The Swamp Cabinet, Ku Klux Kabinet, KKK-Mart, Three-Ring Circus, Killer Klown Kar, The Roundhead Table, The West Wingers, The West Wingnuts, Moscow on the Hudson (Michael R. Burch), The AmeriKKKan Kremlin, The Kremlin Connection, Putin's Puppets, Putin's Proxies, Dr. Strangelove & Co., Dawn of the Brain Dead, The Underlings, The A$$lickers, The Re-Cuss-Ants, The Cowering Inferno, The Undivine Comedy, The Kings of Unintentional Comedy, The Tenth Circle of Hell, Trump's Inner Circle = Trump Sinner Circle
Vice President Mike Pence nicknames: Hoosier, Cuddles, Trumpence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Silver Faux Fox, The Mad Monk, Dense Pence, Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today), Mike Pensive, The Foxhole Huddler, The Fence Sitter, THE VICEROY, The Vice Antichrist
Secretary of State Rex Tillerson nicknames: T-Rex, Rexosaurus, T-Wrecks, Rex Drillerson, Rex Shillerson, Rex Killerson, Rex Billerson, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Rasputin (Michael R. Burch), Rexputin, The Invisible Man, Secretary of Wait (Michael R. Burch), Secretary in State (Michael R. Burch), Deep State Secretary
Secretary of Energy Rick Perry nicknames: Crotch (because he wore tight jeans and "adjusted" himself often), Dumbass, Secretary of the Department of Oops! ("Whazzat? Duh, I forget!"), Rick Fairy, Rick Moronic, Rick Moreanus, Texas Toast
Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos nicknames: Cruella DeVos, Cruella DeVile, Diva DeVos, DeVile DeVos, DeVoid DeVos, Devolution DeVos, Wetsy Betsy, Betsy Dross, The Education Terminator, Madame DeVoucher
Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin nicknames: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah
Secretary of Defense James Mattis nicknames: Mad Dog, Warrior Monk, Mad Monk, Chaos (his very appropriate call-sign)
Former Secretary of Defense Mike Flynn nicknames: Dr. Strangelove, In Like Flynnt, Red Flynnstone (Michael R. Burch), "Flynn Facts," Putin's Pawn, Amerika's Angriest General, Flynnskint, Red Flynn, The Canary (because he's about to sing like one)
Secretary of Agriculture George Ervin Perdue III nicknames: Sonny, Ophie Junior (his mother's name was Ophie), The Rainman (he once "prayed up a storm" pleading for rain)
Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke: Rinky-Dink Zinke, The SOFA Commando (Special Operations Fraud & Anarchy), The Bozeman Bozo, The Knife Collector, On-the-Blink Zinke
Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross nicknames: Ross Rothschild (he worked for N. M. Rothschild & Sons), The Bankruptcy King, Wilbur Wrong Force, Heavens to Betsy Ross
Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder nicknames: Putz Puzder, Colonel Klink, CKE-n Little, The Wage Terrorist, The Wage Deflator, The Lowballer, The Burger-Bikini Baron, Randy Andy
Secretary of Labor Alexander Acosta nicknames: Alex, Dean, Trump's Token Hispanic, The Exile (his parents are Cuban refugees)
Secretary of Health & Human Services Tom Price nicknames: The Amerikan Mengele, Tom Sellout, One Man Death Panel, The Six Million Death Man, Tom Thumb, Tom "Profit More" Price, Tom "the Price is Your Life"
Secretary of HUD Ben Carson nicknames: Psychopath (Donald Trump), HUD Ornament (Michael R. Burch), Crazy Ben Carson, Dummy (his childhood nickname), Eli (his Secret Service code name), One Nation (his choice)
Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin nicknames: Skulkin' Shulkin (Michael R. Burch), The Designated Survivor
Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly nicknames: Hobo, The Hitcher (he hopped freighters in his youth), Moonshine ("My first time overseas was taking 10,000 tons of beer to Vietnam!")
Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao nicknames: Mrs. Mitch McConnell, Tiger Wife (Stuart Bloch), Madame Secretary, Fireworks, Short Fuse
Deputy Attorney General Dana J. Boente nicknames: Deputy Dawg, Trump's Lapdog, Barney Fife, Goober, The Decoy
Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein nicknames: Rosey Red, Russian Red, Red Rod, Rowdy Roddy Fib-Piper
Attorney General Jeff Sessions nicknames: The Hobbit (Trevor Noah), Nervous Tick (Conan O'Brien), Kangaroo Court Sessions, Hessian Sessions, Secessionist Sessions, Russian Red Sessions, Rushin' Sessions, Stressin' Sessions (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Stonewall Sessions, Jefferson "No Regard" Sessions (his full name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions), Disjointed Sessions, Nervous Nellie, Detour-ney General, Round-a-Bout Bubba, The Mal-Lingerer, Sgt. Schultz ("I know nutthink!"), General Beau-Beau (rhymes with "Do-Do" like the bird)
Trump's Allies, Supporters, Henchmen, Associates and Lapdogs
White House Pres Secretary Sean Spicer nicknames: Scary Spicer (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Vanilla Spice, Vanilla Spicer, The Spice of Death, Sean Sphincter (College Voice), Hedgehog and Hedge-Dodger (after Spicer hid behind a hedge to avoid reporters), Spittler, Shitler, Twitler, The Holocaust Apologist, The Mouthpiece (David Horsey), Spicy, Motor Mouthpiece, Sean "the Truth Icer" Spicer, Sean "Dawn of the Dead" Spicer, Spokestoady, Spokestwit, Spokestot, Spokesboy, Spokestoddler, Spokestool, Spokesmoron, Spokesliar, Spokeswhiner, Press Reagent, Full Court Press, The Tass A$$, Tass Light, The Tass-manian Devil, Amerikan Goebbels, Wormtongue, Sinister Spice, Little Tattletale Teller, Sauerkraut Spicer, Five Alarm Spicer, The S**t Spicer, Tokyo Rose, Spastic Spicer, Trump's Human Twitter Feed, The Baghdad Bobblehead, Spiced Whiner, Spiced Lice, The Slime Spreader, Skippy, Old Spice, The Depressing Press Secretary, Former Press Secretary, The High Wire Liar
Chair of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz nicknames: Chaff, Chaffy, Chaff-Lips, Chipmunk, Chipmunk Cheeks, Cheeky, No-Tell Hotel Chaffetz, Grandstanding Charlatan (Heather Digby Parton), Jason "Putin on the Ritz" Chaffetz, (Michael R. Burch), Jason and the Ego-Nuts (Michael R. Burch), Half-Assed Chaffetz
House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes nicknames: Known-Nothing Nunes, Numbnuts Nunes, Devin Devil, Nanu Nanu Nunes, See-no-Evil-Hear-no-Evil-but-sure-as-hell-embrace-Evil Nunes
Erik Prince nicknames: The Prince of Darkness, Creature from the Blackwater Lagoon, The Mercenary, Soldier of Misfortune, The Envoy, Trump's Unofficial Russian Envoy
Congressman Dana Rohrabacher: Putin's Favorite Congressman, Putin's Apologist, Putin's Proxy, Assad's AmeriKlan Ally, Dana the Red, Red Dana, Dirty Dana
SEC Chairman Walter J. Clayton nicknames: Jay, Jaybird, The Bailout King, The Wall Street Jaywalker, Goldman Sacks Washington, Hatin' Clayton
Trump donor Robert Mercer nicknames: Hedge Hog, PACman, Dark Money, The Megadonor, Merciless Mercer, Ming the Merciless, The Cluster Fucker, The Quant King, The Money Man, The Cat Talker, Bob
Trump donor Rebekah Mercer nicknames: Bekah, Bekah Bilker, Bannon's Backer, The Whiny Hellcat
Director of the National Economic Council Gary Cohn nicknames: Sachs-man, Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Con Tiki, Globalist Gary, The Government Sacker, The Risk Taker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy
Legislative Affairs Assistant to the President Marc Short nicknames: Short of the Marc, Shortstop, Shortcut, Koch Addict, Koch Lite, The A$$-istant, Dark Money Marc, Junior Asshole, Short Attention Span Marc, The Dark Money Operative
Comptroller of the Currency nominee Joseph Otting nicknames: Outed Otting (after he claimed to have a degree from Dartmouth that Dartmouth doesn't even offer), "Leave it to Otter" Joe
Felix Sater nicknames: The Margarita Assassin, Felix Satyr, Red Felix, The Hudson on Moscow (Sater worked on plans to build a Trump Tower in Moscow), The Red Turk
Mitt Romney nicknames: Bishop Romney, The RomneyBot, Plastic Man, Bain in the Ass (David Letterman's #1), King of Bain (Newt Gingrich), Mitt the Twit (The Sun of London, Rupert Murdoch), Mr. Magical Undies
Mike Huckabee nicknames: Judas, Huckster Huckabee, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Fuckabee, Huck Upchuck, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike, Triple Wide, Duck Hunter
Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders nicknames: Miss Huckster, Basic Atrocity, Women's Fibber, Sister Smother, Slimy Sellout, Train Wreck, Miss Derailment, Faux News Vixen, Lil' Spice, Less Seasoned Spice
Chris Christie nicknames: Christie Kreme, The Illsbury Dough-Boy, Cookie Monster, Big Boy (George W. Bush), Pork Chop, Enormes Pantalones, Pufferfish, Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Trump's Cream Puff, "Beached" Whale, Beach Boy, The New Jersey Sunblocker, Cripsy Christie
Ann Coulter nicknames: AnnThrax, Coultergeist, Beltway Barbie, Cuckoo Coulter, Chairman Ann, Ann Coltrear, Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to be sure!)
Joe Arpaio nicknames: Wyatt Twerp, Boss Hogg, Big Pig, The Maricopa Madman, Captain James Tiberius Jerk, Colonel Klink, Officer Loco, Wiley E. Peyote, Lawrence of Insania, Tonto, Prickzilla Queen of the Desert
Jeb Bush nicknames: Tortoise (George W. Bush), Low Energy (Donald Trump), Eveready (Jeb's retort to Trump when asked to pick his Secret Service code name), Veto Corleone, The Bushmaster, Bush League, Gator
Carly Fiorina nicknames: Chainsaw Carly (for all the jobs she cut at HP and Compaq), Golden Parachutress, The Anti-Hillary, Secretariat (her choice for a Secret Service code name)
John Kasich nicknames: Pope (he wanted to be the pope as a boy), Unit One (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Unit Two (his wife's alternate suggestion!)
Rand Paul nicknames: Mr. Nerdy Perm, Mr. Poodle-'Do, Mr. Death Spiral, Mr. Just-Kill-Them-All!, Truly Weird Rand Paul (Donald Trump), Justice Never Sleeps (his choice for a Secret Service code name; he later called it "one of those nicknames you try to make happen and miserably fail")
Scott Walker nicknames: The Desperado (in his high school yearbook), Niedermeyer (after an overly aggressive ROTC leader in the movie Animal House), Scott Balker, Harley (his choice for a Secret Service code name)
Rupert Murdoch nicknames: Rupert Murder-Doc, Papa Doc, Ru Paul (Stephen Colbert), The Last Press Baron (CNN), the Dirty Digger (Ian Hislop), the Mudslinger, the Faux Fox, Murdoch of the Mammaries
Roger Ailes nicknames: Roger the Unartful Dodger, The Sex Cadger Codger, Roger Flogger, Roger the Sex Rabbit, The Predator, The Human Toad (SemDem on Daily Kos)
Sean Hannity nicknames: Sean O'Scammity (Michael R. Burch), Sean of the Dead, Lumpy (Jon Stewart), Handy Hannity, Shammity, Sean Vanity, Sean Insanity, Loverboy, Flubberboy
Trump lawyer Sheri A. Dillon nicknames: Gunsmoke (pun on Matt Dillon), The Smoking Gun, The Hired Gun, Ms. Trust (pun on "mistrust"), Trump's Legal Beagle
Michael Steele nicknames: The Sesame Street Guy (Jon Stewart, who compared him to Grover), The Man of Steal (pun on stealing elections and human rights, two GOP objectives)
Rob Portman nicknames: Beltway Rob, PAC-Man, The Lobbyist, The Insider, The Outsourcer, The Job Robber, Washington's First Porter, Any Port in a Shit Storm, Portmanteau
Rod Blum nicknames: Bloomin' Idiot, The Screener, The Stalker, The Quitter (after Blum stalked out of an interview in which he was asked why he screens attendees of his "public" meetings)
Trump senior political adviser Stephen Miller nicknames: Young Gargamel (Stephen Colbert), Sméagol (Trevor Noah), Basic Henchman (Trevor Noah), Master of Mendacity (Frank Vyan Walton), Neo-Jackboot (Frank Vyan Walton), The Love-Wall-Builder, "Mad Men" Miller, The Sh*tstreamer, The True Believer & Deceiver
Rudy Giuliani nicknames: Trudy, Julianne, Rudy the Red-Nosed Panderer, Amerika's Scariest Mayor, Rude Rudy, Trump's Scamp-aign Manager, Batshit Crazy Rudy
Others
Trump donor Sylvain Mirochnikoff nicknames: The Trader, The Director, The Exotic Equity Derivatives Trader
Trump spokesperson and attorney Michael D. Cohen nicknames: Kremlin Charlie, Lavrov's Dog (pun on Pavlov's Dog)
Deputy National Security Adviser K. T. McFarland nicknames: Far-Out McFarland, The Ditz, McFibber, The Airhead
Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategy Dina Habib Powell nicknames: Sachs-girl, Sachs Diva
Deputy Chief of Staff Rick Dearborn nicknames: Deputy Lap Dawg, Greenhorn Dearborn, Stillborn Dearborn, Red Rick, Russian Rick
Deputy Communications Director Jessica Ditto nicknames: Ditto, "Ditto That," Miss Redundant, Bevin's Bane, Trump's Blonde Brander
Personal Aide John McEntee nicknames: Aide de Camp, Aide de Kampf, Teed-Off McEntee
Deputy Chief of Staff Joe Hagin nicknames: Ragin' Hagin
Executive Assistant Madeline Westerhout nicknames: Trump's Toady, Wicked Witch of the Westerhout
Director of Oval Office Operations Keith Schiller nicknames: The Shill
Newt Gingrich nicknames: Tadpole, Angry Tadpole, Angry Muffin (Peggy Noonan), Bloated Bullfrog, The One Stop Lobby Shop
Mike Pompeo nicknames: Pompous Asshole, Putin's Pompous Pimp
Peter Navarro nicknames: The EEKonomist, Bullshitter in the China Shop
Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh nicknames: Welshing Walsh, Katie Bar the Door
Director of Strategic Communications Hope Hicks nicknames: Hopeless Hicks, Tricky Hicky
Antonin Scalia nicknames: Antonin "Scaly" Scalia, Nino (Spanish for "infant"), El Nino, El Ninny
Anthony Scaramucci nicknames: Anthony "Scary" Scaramucci, Scarface
David Melech Friedman nickames: Moloch, Fried Brain Man, Mr. Apartheid, Israel's Goebbels
Sebastian Gorka nicknames: Gorky Park, Dorky Park, Borat, The Irregular, The Mad Hungarian, The Hun, The Incredible Shrinking "Expert" Witness
Carl Icahn nicknames: Mr. Delorean, Mr. Bailout, Mr. Too Big Not to Fail, The Grey Grifter, Back to the Suture, The Artful Dodger
Daniel Coates nicknames: Dan, Offshore Dan, Coates of Many Colors
White House Counsel Don F. McGahn nicknames: The Enabler, Cover Artist, Undercover Artist (he does cover songs), Guitar Dan
Michael Dubke nicknames: Mike, Karl Rove Jr., Mystery Man, Happy Warrior
Peter Navarro nicknames: Novice, Nutjob, Ninny
Ajit Pai nicknames: Dark Yoda, The Agitator, The Net Neutrality Negator, The Broadband Baron, Big Brother, Trump's Sinister Swami
Glenn Beck nicknames: Voldemort, Emotional Fescue (Michael R. Burch), American Rhodes, Glen "Weepin'-'n'-Wailin'" Beck
Kevin McCarthy nicknames: Kevin “Loose Lips Sink Ships” McCarthy
Dave Brat nicknames: Bratman, Terrible Tyke, Dark Night of the Soul
Raul Labrador nicknames: Raul "Lapdog" Labrador, Black Lab, Trump's Retriever, Labrador Guppy
Dick Cheney nicknames: The Penguin, Mr. Vice, Big Time (George W. Bush), Duke Nukem
Donald Rumsfeld nicknames: Rummy (George W. Bush), Rheumy, Rheumatoid
Karl Rove nicknames: Turd Blossom (George W. Bush), Turd Polisher (George H. W. Bush), Rover, Red Rover, Red Raver
John Boehner nicknames: Boner (George W. Bush), Orange Man, Trump's Tan Companion
John McCain nicknames: Hogan (George W. Bush), The Maverick (Sarah Palin)
Maureen Dowd nicknames: The Cobra (George W. Bush), Howdy Dowdy, Dowdy Do-Wrong, Fraulein Dowdy
Kayleigh McEnany nicknames: Kellyanne Lite, Inane McEnany, McLiar, Blond Bombshell Exploding into Alternative Facts
Dan Scavino nicknames: Scarface, The Scavenger, Social Media Czar, Trump's Twitter Babysitter (Michael R. Burch)
David Bossie nicknames: Bossy, the Boss, Bessie
Secretary of the Army Mark Green nicknames: Greenhorn, Greensleeves, Emergency!, The Medic, Critical Care, The Homophobe
National Security Adviser General Herbert Raymond McMaster nicknames: Master of Disaster, McMonster, H.R., Bannon's Banisher
Ezra Cohen-Watnick nicknames: The Tapp Dancer, Deep Bloat, The Informant, The Whistleblower (Paul Ryan), Flynn's Flunked Flunkey
Michael Ellis nicknames: Eely Ellis, The Eel, Ellis Islander, Deep Bloat II
John Eisenberg nicknames: The Illegal Eagle, Deep Bloat III, Iceberg
Billy Bush nicknames: Bush League, The Bush Beater
Richard LeFrak nicknames: The Mogul, The Overseer
Harrison LeFrak nicknames: The Brain, Dirty Harry
Chris Ruddy nicknames: Ruddy Buddy, Trump's Spokespal, Newsminion, The Smokescreen, Russian Red Ruddy, Chris Phish, Bad Fungus
Jeff Flake nicknames: The Flake, Snow Flake, Corn Flake, Flake the Snake, Fake Spews
Senator Dean Heller nicknames: Heller High Water, Hell's Bells, The Hellion, The Dean of Healthcare Hell, Hell on Greased Wheels
Tom Cotton nicknames: Cottonmouth, Cotton Candypants, White Fluff, The White Cotton King, Uncle Tom, Tehran Tom
John Cornyn nicknames: Corndog (George W. Bush), Cornpone, Corn Prone, Corncob, Corny, KKK Cornyn
Lamar Alexander nicknames: Hedy, Alexander the Ungreat, The Candyman
John Barrasso nicknames: Bare Ass, The Ass, The A$$hole, Wyoming's Doktor, John-Boy
Mike Lee nicknames: Mikey, The General, The Ungreat Dane, Alito Jr.
Cory Gardner nicknames: The Unconstant Gardner, Tory Cory, The GOP Bad Idea Man, C-Money, The Young Gun, Scattershot
Pat Toomey nicknames: Sock It Toomey, Senator Elevator (because he dodged Trump by hiding in an elevator), Stand Pat Toomey
Mike Enzi nicknames: Hate Frenzy Enzi, The Wyoming Homophobe, The Hate Crime Defender
John Thune nicknames: Out-of-Tune Thune, The Giant Killer
AshLee Strong nicknames: Eddie Munster's Press Secretary, The SpinMistress, The Black Widow
James Comey nicknames: Homey Comey, Show Me Comey, The Election Rigger, Trump's Red-Headed Stepchild
Sam Nunberg nicknames: The Nun, Nanoo Nunberg, Sam the None
Marc E. Kasowitz nicknames: Marc the Narc, Case o' Nits
Barry Bennett nicknames: Bennet Dick Arnold, Bare Net Bennet
Budget Director Mick Mulvaney nicknames: Mick the Prick, Mick the Vain, Whether Vane Mick, Insane Mulvaney
Attorney Jay Sekulow nicknames: Jaybird, Jaywalker, Jay "Seek the Low Road" Sekulow
Nick Ayers nicknames: Airhead Ayers, Hot Air Ayers
Josh Holmes nicknames: Sherlock Holmes's Dumber Brother, Josh "the Dudd" Holmes
Seema Verma nicknames: The Verminator
Johnny DeStefano nicknames: Stephanie, The Sob Boss, The Headhunter, The Rushin' Recruiter, Mr. Flip Flop
Margaret Peterlin nicknames: The Gatekeeper
Brian Hook nicknames: Hook'n'Crook, The Hooker, Mr. Memo
Corey Stewart nicknames: The Apprentice, Trump's Firee, The Cuckservative, Prince William Unsound, Mr. AR-15
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