Noam D. Plum

Another poet's pseudonym, Noam D. Plum has himself placed work in several publications, most frequently Light Quarterly. He recently won $500 from The Country Mouse, making him a much more successful breadwinner than the poet for whom he fronts!

Making a Clean Breast of It

(Three of four men, according to a survey) would rather take a shower with a beautiful celebrity than with their partner. ... "I'm not surprised," said lifestyles counselor Carol Wise. –Reuters 

Wise Wise
"It's no surprise.
It's thighs–
Not ties–
That tantalize.

"True love's the prize?
It's otherwise.

"If four comprise
The sampling size,
Three guys
Their picks. Love dies.

"The fourth one lies."

First published in Light Quarterly

Song of Great Conviction

  The leaders of nations
  These past generations–
The greatest you might care to name–
  Were toughened and tested
  By being arrested,
A hardship which each overcame.

  For jail couldn't quell a
  Brave man like Mandela,
Nor Havel's stark hovel bring shame.
  The jailers? Now, they rue
  Imprisoning Nehru,
And fanning Walesa's bright flame.

  He may be achieve-y,
  But jail on his C.V.
No White House arrival can claim.
  Though some make unswerving
  Attempts at deserving
Jail after, it's just not the same.

First published in Ha!

Make it a Double (Standard)

Oveido, Spain--Two judges have ruled that female drunk drivers are more dangerous than male ones. –International Herald Tribune

Thank Dios that fin'lly two courts have benignly asserted what men are aware a':
It's daring and macho to drive when borracho, but not if you're wearing mascara.
With men at the wheel, a few shots of tequila don't worry a judge or cause crashes,
But ladies're loco. Their drinking's no joke. O, wise judges, we offer our gracias.

First published in Light Quarterly