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Mitt Romney Poems, Parodies, Songs, Quotes and Epigrams

These are poems, parodies, songs, quotes and epigrams about Bishop Willard Mitt Romney ... perhaps the second strangest person to run for President of the United States, after Tricky Dick Nixon.

compiled by Michael R. Burch



He's a real nowhere man
sitting on his tax-free can
hatching all his crappy plans
for nobodies.

Doesn't have a point of view
except “Rich whites are better than Whos.”
Isn't he a bit like Richard Nixon?

Nowhere man, please listen:
Where's your heart? Is it missing?
Nowhere man,
Iran
is a-a-a-a-a-at your command ...



Who can take an “IRA”
hide it from plain view
in the Cayman Islands
and not pay tax like you?

The Romneybot can!

The Romneybot can,
‘cause it doesn’t give a damn
about a homeless child or two.

The Romneybot makes
every book
it cooks
sweet, satisfying and delicious ...

The Romneybot is so malicious
it will even lick your dishes ...

The Romneybot can!

And if you go against its wishes
you’ll be swimming with the fishes ...
like Iran.

The Romneybot can!



Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Sick people are bound to die!

Mitt met her on the mountain
And there he took her life
Mitt took away her healthcare
Like stabbing her with a knife!

Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Poor people are bound to die!

This time tomorrow, rich folks,
Reckon where I'll be?
If it hadn't a-been for Romney
Obama’d have rescued me!

Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Homeless people are bound to die!

Around this time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be?
Dead in some lonesome tenement
Since Romney embezzled me!

Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
Hang down your head and cry
Hang down your head, Mitt Romney
homeless veterans are bound to die!



Imagine there's no Romney, it's easy if you try ...
No robotic drones above us, but only clear blue sky!
Imagine all the people
Living for today ...

Imagine there's no Romney, it isn't hard to do;
No need to kill or die for his Bane-ful point of view!
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace ...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And all Romneys will be gone ...

Imagine no tax shelters; I wonder if you can;
No need for corporate raiders; a brotherhood of man!
Imagine all good people
Not trying to crush Iran ...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one;
I hope someday you'll join us
And all Romneys will be gone ...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one;
Take my hand and join us
And soon the fascists will be gone ...



Yet Another Uprising

Fetchingly beautiful but fatally aggressive,
the white swan lorded it over the hennish mallards —
a gorgeous tyrant, denying her subjects bread.

But now she’s dead.

Did they, I wonder, cry — “Off with her immaculate head!”

Last night I dreamed the villagers stuck trident-like pitchforks in Romney.

Note: Mitt Romney, who once ran a private equity firm that specialized in corporate raiding, has raised large sums of campaign cash from Wall Street firms like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley. Romney insists that “corporations are people” and has called federal government spending to assist tornado and flood victims “simply immoral” because it increases the national budget deficit. But has he ever called government borrowing to fund wars and Wall Street bailouts “immoral”? It seems the immaculately-coiffed Romney knows where his bread is buttered, and who provides the rich cream. Like most Republican politicians these days, he seems quite content to let the commoners go without bread, as long as his wealthy patrons can continue to eat cake.



Romney! Romney!
He's our man!
If he can't kill us,
No one can!
Three things are certain:
Death and taxes
and Mitt Romney's
screw commoners praxis.



Romneybot, Romneybot,
where have you been?

I’ve been to Great Britain,
to visit the Queen!

Romneybot, Romneybot,
say, what did you tell her?

I told her there’s no one like me there,
to sell her

citizens seats to athletic games.
I told her without me, they’ll go down the drains!

Romneybot, Romneybot,
what did do you do next?

I rushed off to Israel,
to preach ancient texts

in which canny Hebrews
said God loved them more

than all other people,
then killed them by the score.

Romneybot, Romneybot,
do you think that was wise?

Oh, yes! Stupid humans
just love ancient lies.

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