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American Fascism, or "How to Become a Fascist Nation, in Seven Easy Steps"

Since the United States seems intent on becoming a fascist nation, it can speed up the process considerably by taking a few tips from Weimar Germany:

(1) Greatly desire “acceptability” in the shape of mindless conformity to unspeakably dull, boorish convention. Never consider that the standards being set are determined by low-browed bigots and morons. Forget that true morality increases freedom and happiness, while reducing suffering. Settle instead for an artificial, arbitrary "morality" based on "monkey see, monkey do" mimicry. If you see a bigger male baboon pissing on a female, find some female infant you can safely piss on yourself.  And for God's sake, never, ever think independently! 

(2) Listen raptly to rabble rousers who insist that angst-ridden morons (i.e., themselves) are, in fact, the fair-haired Chosen Few, the only acceptable “children of God.” This is, of course, merely a matter of fervid belief, but then all good fascists are “true believers.”

(3) Elect fear-instilling demagogues, rabble rousers and propagandists to high office, since they have promised to “save” the public from the nonexistent and vastly-inflated threats of their own contrivance. Blissfully ignore the fact that this is how they gain notoriety and acquire money, followings, influence and power. After all, the only good sheep is a blind, unquestioning lamb trotting eagerly down the path to the slaughterhouse, ready to sacrifice its skin for the sake of its Masters and Overseers. 

(4) Look for convenient scapegoats to wildly fear and even more wildly abuse. Weimar Germany chose its Jews to fear and abuse. The Tea Party’s scapegoats of choice are Muslims (most of whom are also Semites). Never consider that the vast majority of Muslims are peaceful, law-abiding civilians who never hurt a fly, or that their numbers include multitudes of completely innocent women and children. Facts are the death of fascism, so conveniently ignore them. Muslims are obviously of the “wrong” race and religion, so treat them as a single entity. Once you have convinced yourself that all Muslims comprise one single dirty, evil, inferior entity, you can then squash Muslim women and children like bugs, without qualms (or, more likely, stand by while someone else squashes them, then hands you the bill in the form of a slightly higher tax return).

(5) Lash out at people who have never done you or anyone else any harm, on the theory that one day they might, because they seem "different" and therefore inherently dangerous. Trample them underfoot. Smash them to smithereens. Weimar Germany made damn sure Jews didn't “get out of line” by preemptively banishing multitudes of completely innocent women and children to walled ghettos, concentration camps and, eventually, to gas chambers and ovens. Today the governments of Israel and the United States have colluded to inter millions of completely innocent Muslim women, babies and children in walled ghettoes and concentration camps. The government of Israel has created, and the government of the United States has supported and funded, this new Holocaust: the Nakba ("Catastrophe") of the Palestinians. Can some terrible new "final solution" fail to lie ahead, since they have nowhere else to go? “Out of sight, out of mind” must be logically followed, in the cold calculations of fascism, by, “Why bother to keep our inferiors alive, since doing so is inconvenient and expensive? Since they are not like us, the Chosen Few, what right do they have to breathe our air, live on our land, or drink our water?” Hitler didn't set out to exterminate the Jews. For years he tried to find other nations to take them in, with little success. He then came up with a plan to ship them to Madagascar, but finally abandoned it as infeasible in the middle of a world war. His macabre "final solution" was the result of his having made millions of innocents homeless and destitute, then not wanting to pay to keep them alive. He had convinced Germans that Jews were the "problem" when in reality he was the problem. But isn't this what the leaders of Israel and the United States are doing today, when they say the "real" problem is Muslim terrorism even though the systematic terrorism of the Nakba came first, and has been ongoing for more than sixty years? Entire generations of Palestinian babies have been born into the iron chains and cages of feudal serfdom; now multitudes of them have died without ever having drawn a free breath. Is this new Holocaust in any way "better" than the last one, or have new fascists only managed to prolong the suffering of their victims?

(6) Swear that the victims of fascism “had it coming” and were “responsible” for whatever befell them. Deny that the horrors being inflicted on them are in any way the fault of the people wielding the power. Create bizarre excuses for inflicting collective punishment on completely innocent women and children. Go to church and praise the good Lord that the Chosen Few are not dirty, evil, inferior beings, like their victims. Never bother to ask if completely innocent women, babies and children did anything to deserve their collective fate.

(7) Elect someone like Hitler, George W. Bush or Sarah Palin, then sit back and watch the fireworks. Hitler invaded and conquered one nation after another, until he finally bit off more than he could chew. So far Bush, Palin & Co. are behind schedule, since the blitzkriegs of Afghanistan and Iraq got bogged down a bit. But when Palin assumes power and bombs Iran, by way of “supporting” Israel, we can easily exceed the death toll of World War II, which was only a paltry 70 million souls, give or take a few mil. Who cares how many completely innocent women and children die, as long as God, church and state keep marching smartly in goose-stepping time toward the Apocalypse? Sing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” while trampling all “inferior” beings underfoot. Thanks to his “Amazing Grace” the Good Lord will understand, condone and forgive.

The really important thing is to never stop to question why the people in power must dominate their victims. Was it ever in the best interests of average Germans for Hitler to rule over Poland, France, Russia and Great Britain? Of course not, but the power of fascism lies in its ability to mesmerize commoners into blindly following rabble rousers down the path to destruction, parroting some absurd slogan like, "We want our country back!" while in reality forfeiting it to power-mad lunatics. If anyone ever opened their eyes or thought a coherent thought, the whole process would implode. Fortunately for the fascist overlords this is unlikely to happen, thanks to the way Christian churches brainwash innocent children, virtually from their diapers, to believe that a racist, intolerant God favors Jews and Christians and plans to destroy non-believers, then send them to an “eternal hell” for not “believing” in his person, even though he never bothered to speak to any of them personally. No one should ever question whether it is "loving," "compassionate," "just" or "wise" for God to behave so cruelly, unjustly, intolerantly and boorishly. After all, what really matters is that the Chosen Few inherit the earth, despite the fact that they are not meek, nor peacemakers, nor any of the things Jesus desired them to be.

No, one must never ask oneself whether one’s chosen God or religion are compassionate, just, or make any sense whatsoever. If Germans had asked such questions of themselves and their beliefs, they would never have inflicted such terrible collective punishment on innocent Jews, Gypsies, Slavs and all the other people they considered “inferior” to themselves. If American Christians ever opened their eyes and asked themselves why they believe God and Jesus are intolerant bigots, and why people like Bush and Palin behave so unjustly and boorishly, they might save themselves, their children and their grandchildren. But of course fascists care nothing about anything, but believing they are the Chosen Few and venting their self-righteous anger on the most convenient scapegoats — damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, women and children be damned.

So praise the good Lord and pass the peanuts, because soon Fox will be providing us with the phantasmagoric details of the destruction of Iran, which will result in a continuous war zone from westernmost Iraq to easternmost Pakistan. Once we have united most of the Muslim world against us, we can greatly exceed Hitler & Co. in mayhem. We can then listen to the moronic religion-infused ravings of Sarah Palin and rejoice that we somehow managed to elect a Fuhrer who is much cuter, even more charismatic and nearly infinitely stupider than Hitler. She will constantly remind us that we are the “good guys,” the “fair-haired ones,” and the “apples of God’s eye.” She will constantly point out the evil nature of our fearsome enemies, the Muslims, never questioning if what the governments of Israel and the United States did to Palestinians constituted another Holocaust. She will assure us that victory is certain, once we stamp out and eliminate our “inferiors.” She will assure us that God is on our side and that Israel, our Italy, can protect our flanks, ignoring the fact that there are mere handfuls of Israeli Jews, but more than a billion Muslims, and that Israel already has its hands full with Hamas and Hezbollah.

In closing, let us never ask Bush and Palin seem like less intelligent Hitlers. At least Hitler could speak intelligibly. No, all that matters is that Bush, Palin & Co. have promised to “save” us by ignoring facts and plunging recklessly  ahead with what hasn't worked in the past, and who can doubt the irrational words and faith of true believers?

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