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The NAKBA: Wrestling Angels and Chimeras

by Michael R. Burch

The United States is, of course, the last, best defense of everything that is good, wholesome and sacred in the world. Everyone knows this (except, incomprehensibly, our enemies). And as every American Joe indubitably knows, Muslims despise our values and long to deprive us of our freedoms because they’re all "terrorists" and "religious fanatics." If the CIA doesn’t track down and kill every last one of them, Islamic jihadists will soon rule the world, as the goody-goody-two-shoes Christian nations topple like rows of dominoes.

According to this insane "logic," all Muslims are Islamic jihadists, so we have no choice but to obliterate 1.8 billion Muslims or become their slaves.

Why God would allow the apples of his eye to succumb to nonbelievers is, of course, one of the many unanswerable mysteries enshrouded within the many scintillant "truths" of Christianity.

Of course not so very long ago, all American Joes indubitably knew the Christian nations would topple like rows of dominoes if South Vietnam fell to godless communists. Due to an amazing bit of luck, that didn’t happen . . . or was it, perhaps, that the "Domino Theory" was wrong all along?

But wait just a friggin’ second! The Domino Theory was the reason we fought the Vietnam War. If the Domino Theory was wrong all along, then the war was unnecessary, wasn’t it?

Precisely, Sherlock.

Since the end of World War II, the government of the United States has been wrestling angels and chimeras. Communism failed to produce a single viable automobile. Remember the Yugo? How were communists going to "take over the world" when their industries were so noncompetitive the only Russian brand names known to most Americans were those of Vodka distillers?

And how, pray tell, are Islamic jihadists going to "take over the world" when Muslim nations don’t have the navies, air forces or amphibious transports required to launch large-scale invasions? The U.S. navy is larger than the next 13 largest navies in the world, combined. The second most powerful air force in the world is the U.S. navy's. The danger is not that our enemies are super-powerful, but that we are using our super-powers for nefarious purposes, the way Nazi Germany did. Of course the German people were utterly convinced that they were the "good guys"  just because they were Germans. Now Americans are convinced that Americans are the good guys, just because.

Joe Public is incapable of reflection or logic. In order to help him understand the way things really are, I have written him a brief parable called "Bubba’s Dilemma" . . .

Bubba’s Dilemma

Osama bin Laden has said that Americans will suffer as long as Palestinian women and children continue to suffer. What can he possibly mean? How can he not understand that Americans are the good guys?

Perhaps Americans might "get" bin Laden if we rephrased things like this: "Bubba, think of the biggest, baddest man you know: the one you’d never want to tangle with in a million years. Now, what would happen if you beat and humiliated his mother, wife, sisters and children on a daily basis?"

"Duh, he’d kick my stupid butt!"

Exactly, Bubba. Now you get the picture.

Men like Osama bin Laden will never accept the bizarre idea that Jews and Americans should be allowed to abuse Palestinians because God "loves" Jews and Christians and it is their "Manifest Destiny" to tell other people where and how to live, and die. Muslims know full well what "Manifest Destiny" did to Native Americans who walked the Trail of Tears, to Australian aborigines, and to black Africans.

Osama bin Laden "gets" it, Bubba. You’re the one with ADD.

It’s time to "get a clue," Bubba. If you care about your women and children, tell your moronic "government" to stop harming Muslim women and children. It really is that simple.

Duh!

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