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The Society of Classical Poets: Ire of the Irish

Ms. Bryant has written a peeve.
Ignore it, she’s out of her league.
—Michael R. Burch

Susan Jarvis Bryant has complained in an alleged "poem" that her words have been taken out of context, unfairly. If she gives us permission to publish her poem entire, we will be glad to do so, proving there was no "unfairness." However, that may not be in the best interests of Ms. Bryant and her growing-yet-still-imperceptible reputation as a penner of over-alliterative unintentional doggerel.

Saint Patrick’s Day
by Conor Kelly

Trust a SCOP to rain on my parade. On March 17th, when the Irish, those of Irish descent, and those who love Ireland were “drowning the shamrock”, wearing funny green hats, marching in parades and generally having a good time, Susan Jarvis Bryant, the MTG of Scopland, had a poem called “St. Patrick’s Day 2024” posted on the Society of Classical Poets website. Nothing wrong with that, you might think, until you read the subtitle: “for an Ireland suffering terribly under the weight of forced migration.”

Oh the ironies. In fact, the multiple ironies.

1: Saint Patrick was a migrant. It is unclear whether he came from Wales or from Roman Britain. But he definitely did not come from Ireland.

2: The Irish are noted migrants. In fact a population of over 12 million was drastically reduced by death and emigration after the devastating famine of the 1840’s.

3: Mrs. Jarvis Bryant is, herself, a migrant. She is British, now living in the USA.

Leave aside the fact that Ireland has always been a welcoming society and that, from the Government down to local community groups, extensive efforts have been made to accommodate those who are fleeing from their own famines and tribulations, the poem is a mish-mash of the most abominable clichés about Ireland. See for yourself here: The Evidence. [The scops have blocked the link. What are they afraid of, people reading the poem? Well, we can't blame them. In their case discretion is the better part of valor. — MRB]

Let’s enumerate the trite words and phrases: “Emerald Isle” (who calls it that?); Éire (the Irish word in an English poem for Ireland): “bogs” (now diminishing in Ireland due to climate regulations); “cobbled streets” (you’ll find more in other European cities than you will in Irish cities, towns and villages); “fiddles” (you will find more guitars than fiddles in an Irish pub hosting a sing-song); “banshees” (oh, give us a break). As for the shamrock, the harp and the leprechauns, does she honestly think modern Ireland is like a Hollywood film set? I’ll say nothing about the trite rhymes, the overbearing alliteration and the clunky sonnet form.

Of course the usual circle jerk gathers around the Brit abroad. Here is Joseph Salemi in his typical vitriolic manner: “I’m amazed that the Irish fought 900 years to free themselves from English rule, and are now gutlessly supine as they allow their nation to be overrun with Third-World vermin.” Suffice it to say that, despite a ringing endorsement from SJB and other Scops, this Irishman doesn’t see his compatriots as vermin. Nor do most of the population of Ireland. As in the USA, there is a virulent “Irish for the Irish” mob, but the right wing in Ireland is much less substantial than it is in Texas. Thank God.

No surprise, but per the Scop circle jerk practice, there were no dissenting voices and, interestingly, no Irish voices. (This Irish voice is barred from commenting.) It seems that when Saint Patrick banished the snakes from Ireland, they ended up in that swamp known as the Society of Classical Poets where they slither and hiss to their heart’s content.

Conor Kelly

POSTSCRIPTUS MORTEM

This is a limerick written in the over-alliterative style of Susan Jarvis Bryant.

Skip, scop, skip to my loo
by Michael R. Burch

A skippered scuppered scop
longed to lounge straight to the top;
thus Ms. Bryant en brief
flung away her fig leaf,
then, sans clothes, snoozed and schmoozed in pig slop.

Skippered, because Ms. Bryant’s brain has evidently been captained by right-wing brainwashing of the Tarzanish variety: "White man good, heavy burden. Migrant bad. Very bad. Tarzan squash itty-bitty children. Great danger, mighty Tarzan! Tarzan good Christian, squash baby Jesus, mother Mary,  they show up at border! Jesus reward Tarzan, not call Tarzan goat!"

Scuppered, because Ms. Bryant has sunk her own ship by abandoning art for self-parody. Thus a fig leaf has replaced the true poet’s laurel and even that has been cast aside in order to wallow in the mire.

Ms. Bryant also writes inflammatory "poems" about migrants but is a migrant herself, a Brit who now lives in the United States.

Ode to an Immigrant who should be Illegal
by Michael R. Burch

Ms. Bryant has written a peeve.
Ignore it, she’s out of her league.
No native Anita,
this pale senorita
is a migrant herself. Make her leave!



Related Pages: A Review of the Society's Literary Journal, Laureates 'R' US, Susan Jarvis Bryant, Joseph Charles MacKenzie: Poet or Pretender?, Evan Mantyk's Poetic Tic, James Sale's Blue Light Special, Bruce Dale Wise or Un-?, James A. Tweedie-Dumb, "How to Write a Real Good Poem" by R. S. Gwano, Joseph S. Salemi: How the Mighty Have Fallen (I), Joseph S. Salemi: How the Mighty Have Fallen (II), Salemi's Dilemma, Salemi Interview and Responses by other Poets, THE SOCIETY OF CLASSICAL POETS — A CIRCLE JERK by Conor Kelly

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