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Famous Flops
Famous Flubs

Who are the most famous flops and flubs of all time?

(#10) The Titanic (the vastly overhyped "unsinkable" ship sank on its maiden voyage in 1912)
          Ford Edsel (the "Titanic of automobiles" became synonymous with failure)
          Chevrolet Corvair (it was "unsafe at any speed" according to consumer advocate Ralph Nader)
          Ford Pinto (according to the Ford Pinto Memo, the auto giant decided it would be less expensive to pay off death and injury lawsuits than to spend $11 per car to fix its exploding gas tanks)
(#9) Colgate Kitchen Entrees (the name Colgate suggests chalky toothpaste, not fine dining)
(#8) New Coke (fortunately for the Coca-Cola Company, it had kept the recipe for the less-sweet classical version, which it re-launched almost immediately)
(#7) Harley-Davidson Perfume (it seems even Hell's Angels don't want to smell like gasoline and motor oil, when it's finally time to cuddle)
(#6) Apple Netwon (Sir Isaac may still be rolling over in his grave thanks to this prime example of the bleeding edge of technology)
(#5) DeLorean (the only one ever sold turned up in the movie Back to the Future, but even super-cute Michael Fox couldn't revive the car's sagging fortunes)
(#4) Gay Ken (Barbie's companion gets an earring and a Billy Idol makeover, then gets quickly pulled from sellers' shelves)
(#3) Microsoft WebTV (even super-geek Bill Gates never tuned into this fiasco)
        Bic Underwear (even the slogan "Flick your Bic" couldn't save these marketing unmentionables)
(#2) The Third Reich (the "thousand year empire" lasted a measly twelve years, from 1933 when Hitler became chancellor to 1945 when he committed suicide)
(#1) The GOP (also known as the Republican Party)

Why is the GOP number one on our list of famous flops and flubs?

• Carpet bombing during the Vietnam War, when Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger knew the war could not be won and were only trying to "save face."
• The Kent State Massacre
• Watergate
• Ronald Reagan's "trickle down" theory, which his fellow Republican George H. W. Bush correctly called "voodoo economics."
• Reagan commanding the U.S.S. New Jersey to shell Beirut with the largest guns afloat, in support of Israel's invasion of Lebanon.
• Madeline Albright, who told 60 Minutes' Lesley Stahl that the deaths of more than half a million Iraqi children were "worth it" even though economic sanctions accomplished nothing and Saddam Hussein continued to build new palaces while innocent children starved to death.
• George W. Bush, who brazenly invited terrorists and jihadists to "Bring it on!" even though he was nowhere to be found on 9-11, having gone into hiding.
• The invasion of Iraq on completely false premises, in order to seize control of its oil fields and "reduce" the price of oil (which of course immediately skyrocketed).
• Dick "the Penguin" Cheney, who said of the invasion of Iraq: "With every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of [our] plan becomes more apparent."
• Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld, the invasion's mastermind, who said: "I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today will last five days, five weeks or five months, but it won't last any longer than that."
• John McCain, the war-infatuated dinosaur who said the United States should be prepared to occupy Iraq for a century.
• Joni Ernst is an “onion of crazy.”―Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
• Bishop Willard Mitt Romney and Pat "Lyin'" Ryan, who consummated their political nuptials by running down a battleship gangplank, laughing and waving.
• Sarah "Wailin'" Palin, who regurgitates talking points seemingly at random, never making any sense, while professing to know the mind and will of God.
• Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, who not only thinks Christians can "pray away the gay" but is married to one of the self-professed "curers" of homosexuality.
• Rick "Insanitorium" Santorum, who said in effect than 99% of American adults are Devil worshipers because they use contraceptives in defiance of the Vatican's prohibitions.

Other Famous Flubs and Flops

• Food: Spam, Lard, McDonald's McSpaghetti, Life Savers Soda, Clairol's Touch of Yogurt Shampoo, Pepsi A.M. (caffeinated soda replaces coffee), Olestra, Celery-Flavored Jello
• Cars: Yugo, AMC Pacer, AMC Gremlin, Ford Pinto, Ford Edsel Corsair, LeCar, Dodge Reliant K, Cadillac Cimarron, Chevrolet Vega, Chevrolet Monza, Pontiac Aztek, Fiat Strada, Pontiac Fiero, Trabant
• Sports: XFL, Lingerie Football, Celebrity Boxing, Celebrity Golf, Celebrity Poker, Professional Wrestling, Bumper Pool, Synchronized Swimming, anything that puts men in Speedos or involves hurting animals for "entertainment" (including rodeos and fishing)
• Movies: Superbabies, Showgirls, Titanic, Raise The Titanic, John Carter, Heaven's Gate, Battlefield Earth, Howard the Duck, Ishtar, Speed Racer, Gigli, Norbit, Epic Movie, The Love Guru, Jaws: The Revenge, Batman and Robin, European Vacation, and most other sequels
• TV: The Chevy Chase Show, Joanie Loves Chachi, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy, The Jerry Springer Show (and derivatives), The PTL Club (and other similar religious spectacles, especially the John Hagee and Jimmy Swaggart types), Baywatch, Cop Rock, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Jersey Shore, Turn-On, Bachelor Pad, Love In The Wild, Rock Of Love, Toddlers In Tiaras, Who's Your Daddy?, My Mother The Car, anything to do with ghosts (including Jesus's)
• Religion: Judaism (sacrifice a goat, and a vengeful god is appeased), Christianity (sacrifice Jesus and a vengeful god is appeased), Mormonism (we're skeptical about becoming gods, but the magical underwear is way cool!)
• People: Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Moa, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Bashar Assad, Menachem Begin, Ariel Sharon, Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu, Richard Nixon, Henry Kissinger, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Jesus and his legions of rabid fundamentalists

Related pages: Famous Beauties, Famous Historical Beauties, Famous Courtesans, Famous Ingénues, Famous Hustlers, Famous Pool Sharks, Famous Rogues, Famous Heretics, Famous Hypocrites, Famous Forgers and Frauds, Famous Flops, Famous Morons, The Dumbest Things Ever Said, Famous Last Words, Famous Insults

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