Who are the most famous flops and flubs of all time?
(#10) The Titanic (the vastly overhyped "unsinkable" ship sank on its maiden voyage in 1912)
Ford Edsel (the "Titanic
of automobiles" became synonymous with failure)
Chevrolet Corvair (it was "unsafe at any speed" according
to consumer advocate Ralph Nader)
Ford Pinto (according to
the Ford Pinto Memo, the auto giant decided it would be less expensive
to pay off death and injury lawsuits than to spend $11 per car to fix its
exploding gas tanks)
Colgate Kitchen Entrees (the name Colgate suggests chalky toothpaste, not fine
(#8) New Coke (fortunately for the Coca-Cola Company, it
had kept the recipe for the less-sweet classical version, which it
re-launched almost immediately)
(#7) Harley-Davidson Perfume (it seems even Hell's Angels don't want to smell
like gasoline and motor oil, when it's finally time to cuddle)
Apple Netwon (Sir Isaac may still be rolling over in his grave thanks to this prime
example of the bleeding edge of technology)
(#5) DeLorean (the only one ever sold turned up in the movie Back
to the Future, but even super-cute Michael Fox couldn't revive the car's sagging
Gay Ken (Barbie's companion gets an earring and a Billy Idol makeover, then gets
quickly pulled from sellers' shelves)
Microsoft WebTV (even super-geek Bill Gates never tuned into this fiasco)
Bic Underwear (even the slogan "Flick
your Bic" couldn't save these marketing unmentionables)
(#2) The Third Reich (the "thousand year empire" lasted a measly twelve years,
from 1933 when Hitler became chancellor to 1945 when he committed suicide)
(#1) The GOP (also known as the Republican Party)
Why is the GOP number one on our list of famous flops and flubs?
Carpet bombing during the Vietnam War, when Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger knew the
war could not be won and were only trying to "save face."
The Kent State Massacre
Ronald Reagan's "trickle down" theory, which his fellow Republican George H.
W. Bush correctly called "voodoo economics."
Reagan commanding the U.S.S. New Jersey to shell
Beirut with the largest guns afloat, in support of Israel's invasion of Lebanon.
Madeline Albright, who told 60 Minutes' Lesley
Stahl that the deaths of more than half a million Iraqi children were "worth it" even though economic sanctions accomplished nothing and
Saddam Hussein continued to build new palaces while innocent
children starved to death.
George W. Bush, who brazenly invited terrorists and jihadists to "Bring it
on!" even though he was nowhere to be found on 9-11, having gone into hiding.
The invasion of Iraq on completely false premises, in order to seize
control of its oil fields and "reduce" the price of oil (which of course
Dick "the Penguin" Cheney, who said of the invasion of Iraq:
"With every advance by our coalition forces, the wisdom of [our] plan becomes
Donald "Rummy" Rumsfeld, the invasion's mastermind, who said: "I can't tell you if the use of force in Iraq today
will last five days, five weeks or five months, but it won't last any longer
John McCain, the war-infatuated dinosaur who said
the United States should be prepared to occupy Iraq for a century.
Ernst is an onion of crazy.―Debbie
Bishop Willard Mitt Romney and Pat "Lyin'" Ryan,
who consummated their political nuptials by running down a battleship gangplank,
laughing and waving.
Sarah "Wailin'" Palin, who regurgitates
talking points seemingly at random, never making any sense, while professing
to know the mind and will of God.
Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, who not
only thinks Christians can "pray away the gay" but is married to one of the
self-professed "curers" of homosexuality.
Rick "Insanitorium" Santorum, who said in
effect than 99% of American adults are Devil worshipers because they use
contraceptives in defiance of the Vatican's prohibitions.
Other Famous Flubs and Flops
Food: Spam, Lard, McDonald's McSpaghetti, Life Savers
Soda, Clairol's Touch of Yogurt Shampoo, Pepsi A.M. (caffeinated soda replaces
coffee), Olestra, Celery-Flavored Jello
Cars: Yugo, AMC Pacer, AMC Gremlin, Ford Pinto, Ford Edsel Corsair, LeCar,
Dodge Reliant K, Cadillac Cimarron, Chevrolet Vega, Chevrolet
Monza, Pontiac Aztek, Fiat Strada, Pontiac Fiero, Trabant
Sports: XFL, Lingerie Football, Celebrity Boxing, Celebrity Golf, Celebrity
Poker, Professional Wrestling, Bumper Pool, Synchronized Swimming, anything that
puts men in Speedos or involves hurting animals for "entertainment" (including
rodeos and fishing)
Movies: Superbabies, Showgirls, Titanic, Raise The Titanic, John
Carter, Heaven's Gate, Battlefield Earth, Howard the Duck, Ishtar, Speed Racer,
Gigli, Norbit, Epic Movie, The Love Guru, Jaws: The Revenge, Batman and Robin,
European Vacation, and most other sequels
TV: The Chevy Chase Show, Joanie Loves Chachi, Dr.
Phil, Judge Judy, The Jerry Springer Show (and derivatives), The PTL Club (and
other similar religious spectacles, especially the John Hagee and Jimmy Swaggart
types), Baywatch, Cop Rock, Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Jersey Shore,
Turn-On, Bachelor Pad, Love In The Wild, Rock Of Love, Toddlers In Tiaras, Who's
Your Daddy?, My Mother The Car, anything to do with ghosts (including Jesus's)
Religion: Judaism (sacrifice a goat, and a vengeful god
is appeased), Christianity (sacrifice Jesus and a vengeful god is appeased),
Mormonism (we're skeptical about becoming gods, but the magical underwear is
People: Hitler, Stalin, Chairman Moa, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Bashar Assad,
Menachem Begin, Ariel Sharon, Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu, Richard Nixon, Henry
Kissinger, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Jesus and his legions
of rabid fundamentalists
Famous Historical Beauties,
Famous Pool Sharks,
Famous Forgers and Frauds,
The Dumbest Things Ever Said,
Famous Last Words,