The HyperTexts

The Society of Classical Poets aka The Keystone Scops

Whatsoever you do unto the least of these...
by Kim Cherub

They traded in their Savior for a raving jack’lish Beast;
forgot that Jesus clearly said he sided with the least;
forgot that Christ was born a child for whom there was no room;
forgot the manger meant his Mother slept in straw, and gloom;
forgot how to feel pity; forgot how to feel shame;
forgot that Daniel’s “little horn” revealed Trump’s evil name;
forgot the Trump of Doom that sounded, followed by a plague;
forgot the fruit of the Spirit is tenderness, not rage;
forgot the face of decency; embraced the jackal’s wrath;
forgot the goats will be rejected by the Shepherd’s staff;
forgot the theme of the Bible is: “Go, help the sick and the poor!”;
forgot the Savior stands and waits beside the bolted door,
hearing his cruel “disciples” calling his mother a whore,
demanding her death at the border, and he in her arms, once more:
“Whatsoever you do unto the least of these...”

Outdoing the Devil
by Kim Cherub

Salami asked his Dark Master,
“Lord, how can we kill children faster?”
The Devil replied,
“So many have died!
Don’t you think it would be a disaster?”

But Salami, not easily dissuaded,
found one whom cruel “bone spurs” had fated
to fighting VD
in the land of the free.
Soon the Catholic and Protestant mated.

The Devil protested, “He’s evil!
You might as well worship a weasel.”
But Salami bowed low,
gave the lamp a good blow,
and the gene-ie pronounced, “You’re good people!”

Then the spammer and Jinn, in cahoots,
drunk on the foul smell of their poots,
with a nose up each ass,
cried, “Let’s gas some small lass,
the younger, the better, by Zeus!”

The Devil demurred, turned and left.
Then these stars of the right, both bereft
of compassion and pity,
shrieked, “Machine-gun the shitty!”
Like Jesus, Mephistopheles wept.

SICK PUPPY SCOPS

On Feb. 4, 2024, Joseph S. Salemi posted this tidbit on the SCP website:

"I’d like to see the Texas National Guard set up Browning .50 caliber M-2 machine guns at every place where these illegals are entering, and shoot dead every single person (of whatever age or sex) who tries to cross our border without legal authorization. It’s time to dump the humanitarian bullshit."

Salemi apparently thinks children and their mothers should be shot to ribbons with .50 caliber machine guns. No questions, no trials, just immediate obliteration.

There would be little or nothing left to bury. How much would remain of a small child riddled by a rain of .50 caliber armor-piercing bullets?

From what I have been able to gather, the M2HB Browning is an anti-aircraft and anti-vehicular machine gun capable of firing a constant stream of .50 caliber armor-piercing cartridges. These shells are capable of penetrating face-hardened armor steel plate and rolled homogeneous armor up to nearly a inch thick. What would they do to a small child's delicate flesh?

What was the response to Salemi's hideous call for children and their mothers to be slaughtered in cold blood with military-grade weaponry?

There were affirmatives but not a single peep of protest, as far as I was able to tell.

Roy Eugene Peterson: "I concur!"

Susan Jarvis Bryant: "I hear you, Joe."

Other scops in the thread continued discussing poetry as if nothing unusual had been said. Shooting children to ribbons seems to be "no biggie" in Scoputopia these days. If it ever was. 

Imagine the infant Jesus appearing at the southern border with his mother Mary and father Joseph. The supposedly Christian scops would have them machine-gunned to bits. According to the Bible, Jesus said, "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Jesus also said that it would be better for a man to be drowned with a millstone around his neck, than to harm a little one. So what will become of the scops who side with Salemi, on the Day of Judgment, when the sheep are separated from the goats? Will Jesus, born a refugee child for whom there was no room, side with the children or with heartless adults who would have riddled his mother Mary to pieces without a moment's remorse?

Apparently some of the scops have not only abandoned Christianity, but humanity as well. If they are correct that one day they will stand before Jesus Christ to be judged, I would not want to be in their shoes, when the millstone becomes eternal.

Apparently the road to hell, for some of the scops, is paved not with good, but with very bad intentions.

Skip, scop, skip to My loo
by Immanuel A. Michael

Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Beware lest you err, my darlings!

The king is in his counting house, counting out his funny money;
the Antichrist is on his throne; scops claim the days are breezy, sunny.

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

The earth is flat!
Lick up Trump’s scat!
Praise evil men, the LORD likes that!

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

The Bible’s “pious fraud,” Joe claims,
but knows the perfect prelates’ names.

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

The Day of Judgment swiftly nears;
who’ll be the goats when Christ appears?
Pale lemmings led by purblind seers?

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

Double, double, toil and trouble!
Fire burn and caldron bubble!
Eye of Newt, Trump’s jackal stubble,
Christ's virtuous church reduced to rubble,
wool of bat, slimed toe of frog,
peat pissed on in the Devil's bog,
fillet of a fenny snake,
and other things the scops half bake,
create a hellish witches’ brew!
But never fear, the Beast "loves" you
and God is pleased by triple sixes!
Friends, carry on with your Society mixes!

Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Beware lest you err, my darlings!

Skip, scop, skip to My loo
by Immanuel A. Michael

Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Beware lest you err, my darlings!

The Evil One is in your midst.
Trump knows no God, Christ’s been eclipsed.
His backslidden flock bows down, transfixed.

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

Daniel named him: “little horn.”
Salemi treats God’s Word with scorn —
a “pious fraud” — as angels mourn.

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

The Good Book prophesies and warns
of a Trump of Doom; shall little horns
blare in the end, those roseless thorns?

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

Repent! Repent! Sackcloth and ashes!
Support the Beast? God’s wrath amasses!
You’re supposed to oppose him, lads and lasses!

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

Fire and brimstone — the prophesied fate
of those who support the horny Ingrate.
The Good Book warns, the time grows late.

Skip to My loo, my darlings!

Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Skip, scop, skip to My loo.
Beware lest you err, my darlings!

My Interpretation of "Skip, scop, skip to My loo"
by Michael R. Burch

I immediately noticed that Immanuel A. Michael chose to capitalize the "M" in "My" but not the "l" in "loo." I take the capitalized "My" to represent God. And what is God's "loo" but hell? Therefore, I take IAM to be saying that Christians who support Trump are in danger of hell. I don't believe in hell myself, but what if I'm wrong and Christians are correct in their interpretation of the Bible?

IAM leaves no doubt about the loo being hell when he says "Fire and brimstone — the prophesied fate" in the first line of the fifth stanza. He then links hell via a pun to the "horny Ingrate." Trump being both a "horn," a horny little devil, and the prophesied "little horn" of Daniel. That was rather clever of IAM, I think.

IAM concludes the fifth stanza with a warning:

"The Good Book warns, the time grows late."

What does IAM mean?

The Bible says God's wrath will be poured out on those who support Antichrists, and it says there will be many Antichrists in the last days (1 John 2:18). The first manifestation of that wrath according to Revelation will be a terrible plague. Now we have the coronavirus and the United States was by far the earth's hardest-hit nation, with over 1.1 million coronavirus-related deaths. Are we already in the end times, with God's wrath being poured out on the United States for electing the antichrist Trump president? That's how I interpret the line in question.

Is the pandemic a judgment on Americans for electing a president who is the exact opposite of Jesus Christ in every way, and therefore the very definition of an Antichrist?  The Bible says we will know the "man of sin" by the number 666, so please consider:

• The Trumps purchased the most expensive building ever bought in the US, at 666 Fifth Avenue, a street symbolic of money (Mammon). Obviously no bible-believing Christian would buy building number 666 on a street that symbolizes Mammon, so the Trumps are obviously not Christians and never have been.

• The Trumps paid $1.8 billion for the 666 tower. And 18 = 3*6 = 666. The 666 tower was bought by Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner. Kush was the patriarch of Babylon.

• The famous Trump Tower is 203 meters tall according to multiple reports. And 203 meters = 666 feet.

• According to reports the Trumps are also in the process of building a $666 million tower at One Journal Square. According to multiple reports the height will be 666 feet.

• Donald Trump inherited his grandmother's real estate empire when she died on June 6, 1966 = 6-6-66. Her name was Elizabeth Christ Trump. Elizabeth means "vow," so her full name means "Vow for Christ to be Trumped."

• In Trump's first fiscal year which began in 2016 = 666+666+666+6+6+6 the budget deficit rose to 666 billion dollars. (Per Fox Business and other sources.)

• On the Ides of March, the day Rome changed from a republic to a dictatorship, Trump had 666 delegates. The 2016 election was "all Trump all the time" and 2016 = 666+666+666+6+6+6.

• Trump uttered his unholy trinity of heresies on August 21, 2019, when he claimed to be the "King of Israel," the "second coming of God" and the "Chosen One." August 21 was the 233rd day of the year, and 2*3*3 = 18 = 6+6+6.

• The number of migrant children Trump separated from their mothers and fathers is 666, according to lawyers trying to reunite the families.

• Trump was born on a blood moon.

So we should not be surprised that at the 2021 CPAC event we saw a "Golden Calf" statue of Trump holding an occult wand tipped with a pentagram star, as Trump worshiped himself and his cultish followers did the same.



The biblical prophets predicted that even the very elect would be misled by the Beast, and would bow down to him and worship him. We are seeing it happen exactly as predicted.

It was also revealed that Trump and his wife were vaccinated in secret before they left the White House. Why the secrecy? Trump had lied repeatedly to the American people about the pandemic and refused to tell them the truth even when doing so could have saved hundreds of thousands of American lives, according to epidemioligists. And countries like Canada, Australia and South Korea proved the experts correct. Is Trump the Father of Lies in the flesh, the antithesis of Jesus, who was the Truth Incarnate?



In the grotesque picture above Trump holds a completely black Bible backwards and upside down, hiding the words "Holy Bible," while in the background the ominous sign reads "UNDAY SERVICES ONLINE." Trump’s evil, satanic, lying online tweets have eliminated the true Son and creator of Sunday, Jesus Christ, with Trump calling himself the "only possible Savior" of Americans. The sign even more ominously warns: "WELCOME EVER END" reminding Christians that hell and damnation await those who follow a false Messiah.

Christians believe there are no mistakes with God, so what is God telling them about Trump, who was born on a Blood Moon, whose family purchased 666 Fifth Avenue, and who inherited a vast criminal fortune from a relative who died on 6-6-66 with a name that literally means "Vow for Christ to be Trumped"?

Do millions of American Christians lack eyes to see and ears to hear? Have they forgotten that the Bible condemns followers of false Messiahs to the flames of an eternal hell? What does it profit a man if he gains the world but loses his own soul? And how foolish would one have to be, to risk his or her soul for an Antichrist like Trump?

As I have pointed out in the past, the scops' argument is not with poets who oppose the antichrist Trump, but with God Almighty. How can anyone believe the Bible and support Trump, whose only gods are Mammon and himself? What does the Bible predict for people who call themselves Christians but support antichrists like Trump?

The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb. (Revelation 14:10)

Trump has called himself a "perfect person," claiming equality with Jesus Christ. Trump has said that he never asks God for forgiveness, but just handles things on his own. Trump has mocked Holy Communion and the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ by speaking dismissively of his "little cracker" and "little wine." Trump sneeringly dismisses Christ while arrogantly proclaiming himself the only possible savior of Americans. And Trump is surrounded by false prophets/profits who treat him like the messiah he claims to be, while begging for donations, as Trump does himself.

And the scops seem to buy it all: hook, line and sinker.

The book of Daniel prophesies a “little horn” who will make a make a great commotion. A trump is a little horn that makes a great commotion and is used for purposes of pomp and pageantry. Daniel said this boastful “little horn” would fling truth to the ground and no one in human history has lied more than Trump.

Trump, more than anyone ever before, is “a mouth speaking pompous words.” (Daniel 7:8)

Trump “thinks to change times and laws” and has already tried to stay in power illegally by subverting the Constitution and the peaceful exchange of power. And Trump has promised to do so again if re-elected president.

Trump’s goal is not to be a good president, but to be president for good, like his hero Putin.

Trump has formed an unholy alliance with Christians. More than 80% of evangelical Christians voted for Trump in the 2016 election. Without their support Trump would not have come close to winning.

“What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his soul?”

In this case the only gain is Trump’s and his followers are risking their souls for nothing but endless misery, according to the Bible.

Deluded Christians now seem to think they can support the Antichrist and hasten Christ’s return, but the Bible makes it clear that supporting the man of sin will incur the wrath of God Almighty.

The Bible says the blind will lead the blind into the ditch and we now see it happening before our eyes.

The scops misunderstand me and my intentions. They imagine I "care" so much about their alleged "poems" that I'm agitated and full of angst. In reality I'm cool as a cucumber and am merely amusing myself at their expense. Their attacks on me have no effect because I always consider the source.

Laconic Reply to a Scop
by Michael R. Burch

You flatter yourself that anyone cares
about your "Society" and its airs.

To prove that no acclaim is due,
I mostly just quote you.

So why is your temperature rising?
Who objects to free advertising?

The Key Stoners have something in common with their hero, the semiliterate Trump, who also hates to be quoted. Trump has attacked Megyn Kelly, Bernie Sanders and others for having the audacity to repeat what he said in public. Now, one can easily understand a semiliterate con man not wanting his gaffes and lies to be exposed, but shouldn't poets like being quoted? Are the Keystone Scops embarrassed by the failing-fifth-grade "poetry" they publish? Do they cringe when they see their errors exposed? Have they no recourse except to shoot the messenger?

How do the scops react to being quoted, i.e., to free advertising? Shaun C. Duncan explains in his attempt at satire, "The Life of the Party," in which he says that my reaction (i.e., quoting the scops):

Stuns all observers into mute submission,
For, though deep down all know what waits ahead,
Not one will mewl a word in opposition
From fear of being next, struck dumb with dread
Of such untold embarrassment. Instead
They cringe with mounting horror...

That, my friends, is quite a reaction to being quoted! The scops cringe and mewl at the "untold embarrassment" of someone quoting a few lines of their alleged poems. And well they should cringe with "mounting horror" at the monstrosities their not-so-polite "Society" publishes on a regular basis. But is that my fault? Am I wrong to quote the Dr. Frankensteins? Again, why shoot the messenger?

According to the Keystone Scops, I'm just a hillbilly poet. Imagine what a major poet could do with this Dunciad!

In his backfiring satire Shaun C. Duncan vindicated me by informing readers that the scops share my response to their publications: "untold embarrassment." He ended up satirizing a group of poets who quiver in fear at the thought of being quoted.

Do I care about the Society, as Duncan alleges in his alleged poem? Not at all, but I greatly dislike racism, homophobia and other forms of intolerance. So I figure it's worth a few minutes of my time to point out that the would-be emperors are running around starkers. And truth be told, they make my job all too easy, with their constant ass-flashing.

Song of the Three Witches
by Kim Cherub

Double, double toil and trouble;
scops in flames, trolls’ caldrons bubble.

Fillet of a fenny snake?
Toss it in, since scops half bake,
have never finished, yet, a verse,
unless they planned to make it worse.
Around the witchy lads and lasses
a cloud of foul ass-gas amasses.

Double, double toil and trouble;
scops fart flames, hence caldrons bubble.

Eye of newt and toe of frog
suit the scops and their mind-bog
as their stern Sicilian master
calls their Bible a disaster,
a “pious fraud” — they’ve been deceived! —
but perfect Popes must be believed!

Double, double toil and trouble;
hunched imps fart flames, hell’s caldrons bubble.

Wool of bat and tongue of dog
go well with Antic Mantyk’s grog:
strange ale to drink, but then his “verse”
needs vomit to be made much worse.

Double, double toil and trouble;
such wretched verse, foul caldrons bubble.

Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
lizard's leg and howlet's wing:
for a charm of powerful trouble,
the scops’ hell-broth must boil and bubble.
(Perhaps some heir of Anita Bryant
will crucify kids with a hellish rant.)

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Cool it with transgender blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.

SALEMI SPEAKS! Joseph Salemi has written a poem in my honor with not-so-immortal lines like:

Here’s my answer to the prick
(I hope it cuts him to the quick).
Mike, you’re envious and sick
And stupid as a common brick.

Doesn't exactly reach the heights of Martial or Pope, does it? But Salemi made an interesting confession in his metronomic clunker when he said, "Your poems suck," thereby admitting his terrible taste in poetry and incompetence as an editor. After all, Salemi published 21 of my poems in his literary journal Trinacria, nominating my poem "Discrimination" for the Pushcart Prize, and calling other poems of mine "lovely," "absolutely beautiful" and "truly magnificent." Sour grapes, perhaps?

• "Love Has a Southern Flavor" was called "truly magnificent" by Salemi.
• "Best Tonic" was called "worthy of Mark Twain or Benjamin Franklin" by Salemi.
• "Free Fall" was called a "very beautiful poem" by Salemi.
• "The Last Enchantment" was called "a lovely poem" by Salemi.
• "Gallant Knight" was called "absolutely beautiful" by Salemi.

On an amusing note, my translation of "Wulf and Eadwacer" has been included in an essay and taught by Professor Elizabeth Mazzola at C.U.N.Y. in an upper-division English class. The last I heard, Salemi was employed by the same university. In her email requesting permission to use my translation, which I was happy to grant, Dr. Mazzola said, "Your work has been incredibly valuable to my own, and over the years my students have learned much from you as well."

Has Salemi been shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods?

"Gnashional Anthem of the Keystone Scops" by Michael R. Burch

The Pissologist
by Kim Cherub

There once was a poet (alleged)
whose mal-feces’nce was never once hedged.
She hammered out rhymes
for the Medieval Times,
full of Dark Ages sewage she dredged.

Her intolerance proved quite compelling
to those in her med-evil dwelling:
her tone-deaf assayers
(as-incompetent brayers)
all applauded the shit she was selling.

But alas, it was soon down the hole
for this urinal crew on the dole
whom no one would hire
or save from the mire ...
There’s no way to tidy this bowl!

Limerick-Ode to a Lazy Susan
by Kim Cherub

There once was a lass who would charm us,
but whose “poems” (if we read them) might harm us.
A real lazy Susan
whose “thinking”’s confusin’
might (if she were read) quite alarm us.

Untroubled to bother with facts
and brainwashed by radical tracts,
this far-out-right hisser
is no hit-or-misser:
she’s always off track with her flak.

POSTSCRIPTUS MORTEM

This is a limerick written in the over-alliterative style of Susan Jarvis Bryant, who specializes in unintentional doggerel.

Skip, scop, skip to my loo
by Michael R. Burch

A skippered scuppered scop
longed to lounge straight to the top;
thus Ms. Bryant en brief
flung away her fig leaf,
then, sans clothes, snoozed and schmoozed in pig slop.

Skippered, because Ms. Bryant’s brain has evidently been captained by right-wing brainwashing of the Tarzanish variety: "White man good, heavy burden. Migrant bad. Very bad. Tarzan squash itty-bitty children. Great danger, mighty Tarzan! Tarzan good Christian, squash baby Jesus, mother Mary,  they show up at border! Jesus reward Tarzan, not call Tarzan goat!"

Scuppered, because Ms. Bryant has sunk her own ship by abandoning art for self-parody. Thus a fig leaf has replaced the true poet’s laurel and even that has been cast aside in order to wallow in the mire.

Ms. Bryant also specializes in peevish poems in which she attacks actual poets in mediocre verse. Furthermore, Ms. Bryant writes inflammatory "poems" about migrants but is a migrant herself, a Brit who now lives in the United States.

Ode to an Immigrant who should be Illegal
by Michael R. Burch

Ms. Bryant has written a peeve.
Ignore it, she’s out of her league.
No native Anita,
this pale senorita
is a migrant herself. Make her leave!

Related Pages: A Review of the Society's Literary Journal, Laureates 'R' US, Susan Jarvis Bryant, Joseph Charles MacKenzie: Poet or Pretender?, Evan Mantyk's Poetic Tic, James Sale's Blue Light Special, Bruce Dale Wise or Un-?, "How to Write a Real Good Poem" by R. S. Gwano, Salemi's Dilemma, Salemi Interview and Responses by other Poets, THE SOCIETY OF CLASSICAL POETS — A CIRCLE JERK by Conor Kelly, Why I Am Not A Christian by Michael R. Burch

The HyperTexts