The Best Donald Trump Insults
(These are the best Trump insults other than the Insufferable Donald Himself, and his eccentric hairpiece, or whatever the hell it is!)
Related pages: The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Limericks, The Best Donald Trump Jokes, The Donald Trump Bible or The Gospel According to Trump, Is there a Republican War on Women?, 2016 Republican First Presidential Debate: Winners, Losers and Impressions, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, Donald Trump's "Muslim Friends", Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump's War on Women, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Poetry
The Ten Best Donald Trump Insults
The term "best" is used ironically; we are not endorsing Trump's insults. "Donald Trump's Ten Most Outrageous and Offensive Insults" may be more accurate for our purposes here ...
When Trump was accused of sexually assaulting 12 different women, his "defense" was that they were too unattractive for him to be bothered!
Trump insulted women for aging: "Sometimes I do go a little bit far," he allowed, adding after a moment: "Heidi Klum. Sadly, she’s no longer a 10."
Trump went on the rag about menstruation, claiming there was blood coming out of Megyn Kelly's "whatever" when she merely quoted what he had said about other women during the first Republican debate.
Trump insulted God and the Christian faith by saying that he never asks God for forgiveness.
Trump insulted Holy Communion and the body and blood of Jesus Christ by saying: "When I drink my little wine—which is about the only wine I drink—and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of asking for forgiveness."
Trump insulted struggling American workers by saying "wages are too high." What about his own sky-high wages, one wonders?
Trump insulted Mexican immigrants: "They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists ... and some, I assume, are good people."
Trump has called journalists "scum," "garbage" and "sleazebags."
Trump has insulted our generals, saying that they are unqualified to defend our nation: "I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me."
Trump insulted John McCain and all American POWs: "He's not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured." (Trump only avoided being captured in the Vietnam War via unheroic draft deferments, including claiming to have "bone spurs," a common rich white boy ploy.)
I would like to give a special Dishonorable Mention to Donald Trump for body-shaming Alicia Machado after she won the Miss Universe contest in 1996. She was a teenager at the time and he shamed and humiliated her in public for gaining weight! Trump called her Miss Piggy, Miss Eating Machine and Miss Housecleaning (presumably because she is Latina and that is what Latinas are good for, according to The Donald). Also, I believe Trump has insulted all women with his admission that he gropes "pussy" and can do "anything" that he wants to women because he's famous. Ironically, Trump's candid admission was made to Billy Bush of Access Hollywood, on the set of the soap opera Days of Our Lives.―Michael R. Burch, Editor, The HyperTexts
Other Donald Trump Insults
Donald Trump became―we believe―the first American presidential candidate to call another candidate a "pussy" when he mocked Ted Cruz for not being a gung-ho supporter of torture (waterboarding).
Trump became the first presidential candidate to call a professional athlete a choke artist: “That last election should have been won, except Romney choked like a dog. He choked … Let me tell you, Jordan Spieth choked.”
Trump called rapper Lil Jon an "Uncle Tom" multiple times during Lil Jon's appearance on The Apprentice. Lil Jon confirmed this, in a tweet to the Daily Beast.
At a campaign rally in New Hampshire, Donald Trump mocked Rand Paul's height, holding his hand mid-chest and crowing: "Rand, I’ve had you up to here!" Trump also mocked Paul for "chirping" at him.
To prove that Trump is an equal opportunity insulter, height-wise, he also dissed Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, saying: "Now I know why the press always treated you so badly—they couldn’t stand you."
After Trump's bragging about groping "pussy" went viral, Paul Ryan said: “I am sickened by what I heard today. Women are to be championed and revered, not objectified. I hope Mr. Trump treats this situation with the seriousness it deserves and works to demonstrate to the country that he has greater respect for women than this clip suggests.” Ryan managed to sound like quite the male chauvinist himself. Do American women want alpha males to "champion" and "revere" them, or do they want to be treated with respect, as equals?
BTW, it's amusing that Rudy Giuliani is now Trump's surrogate, defending him from accusations of sexual assault and other improprieties by scores of women, when in a 2000 "Mayor's Inner Circle" video, Giuliani in drag had his "breasts" schmoozed by The Donald, after which Giuliani slapped his face and called him a "dirty boy." Obviously, Giuliani was well aware of Trump's reputation for grabbing and groping women without bothering to ask for their permission! Trump's outrageous behavior was a running joke among alpha males in his circle. In 1993, fellow bad boy Howard Stern asked Trump directly: “So you treat women with respect?” Trump answered honestly: “No, I can’t say that either.” And hundreds of chauvinistic public statements and tweets by Trump confirm that he doesn't treat women with respect, or minorities, or anyone that he considers "weak" or "overweight" or "unattractive."
Would Donald Trump create an American Holocaust by deporting 11 million people, including multitudes of completely innocent children and their mothers? Is Trump the second coming of Adolph Hitler? Yes, nicknames like Hair Hitler and Hair Furor are amusing, but are they also accurate, and perhaps prophetic?
Donald Trump Insult Rejoinders
Donald Trump will remain the executive producer of Celebrity Apprentice. That's only fitting, since Trump will be the first Celebrity Apprentice President!―Michael R. Burch
This guy [Trump] is dangerously unhinged. And, for all the things people have said about me over the years, I should be able to spot Dangerously Unhinged.―Glenn Beck
Trump is a man-baby. He has the physical countenance of a man and a baby's temperament and hands.―Jon Stewart
Donald Trump is giving narcissism a bad name.―Madeline Begun Kane
Donald Trump is "the kind of person who goes to the Super Bowl and thinks the people in the huddle are talking about him."―Eric Schneiderman
Donald Trump likes to say he's a friend to "the blacks." Unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I'm guessing he's mistaken.―Seth Meyers
This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole!―Lewis Black
In an exclusive interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Donald Trump said, "I believe in god." But of course The Donald was talking about Himself.―Jay Leno
Maybe he should ease into this ... by running for a lower office first, like President of the Hair Club for Men.―Jimmy Kimmel
Donald Trump may be running for president. He said he's sick and tired of the rest of the world laughing at the United States. Well, President Trump will certainly put an end to that!―David Letterman
Here's the thing about Donald Trump: he never apologizes; he's never wrong no matter what crazy thing he says. He's the white Kanye.―Bill Maher
Say what you will about Trump, he is not stupid. He is a smart man with a deep understanding of what stupid people want.―Andy Borowitz
Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations.―Craig Ferguson
Thanks to politicians like George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann and Donald Trump, we now have a duh-mock-racy.—Michael R. Burch
Republicans sowed intolerance and in its shadow, Trump sprang up like toxic fungi.―Charles M. Blow
Donald Trump's Potty Mouth
Here are some of the more "colorful" potty words and terms employed by Donald Trump to describe women, his rivals and his critics: pussy, "barking like a dog," "basket case," bimbo, "brain dead puppets," "cheated like a dog," crazy, crude, deceptive, disgraceful, disgusting, "disgusting animals," dogs, dumb, fat, "fat piglet," "fat pigs," "gold digger," goofus, goofy, ugly, grotesque, "real killers," rude, obnoxious, strident slobs, "unattractive both inside and out," "sweating like a dog," "face of a dog," "nervous mess," shaking, sleaze, sleazy, sleazebag, scum, perv, nasty, slime, slimy, sick, pathetic, unstable, "totally unstable individual," pathological, deviant, "mental problem," lightweight, "lightweight choker," "choke artist," "nervous wreck," weak, "weak as a baby," weakest, "little boy," "no chance," overrated, loser, "total loser," disaster, "total disaster," "low energy," liar, "lies like crazy," "the biggest liar I've ever seen," "the single biggest liar I've ever come across," "lies like a dog," dishonest, "very dishonest," moron, dope, dopey, fool, "jealous fool," "very foolish," worthless, stiff, "total stiff," "major inferiority complex," "truly weird," "spoiled brat," "without a properly functioning brain," "got schlonged," zero, thugs, "a total Bush-y," fraud, hypocrite, brainwashed, "guilty as hell," "zero talent," "mathematically dead and totally desperate," reckless, and so on.
One young journalist who travels with Trump remarked that she’s grown accustomed to hearing him use the same words—scum and sleazebags—to describe ISIS terrorists and American reporters. At his campaign events, Trump has had journalists consigned to pens and has even required them to have escorts for "potty breaks."
Trump has admitted, in his gleeful way, that he despises the media: "I do hate them!" Why does Trump hate the media? Because they're "lying, disgusting people ... among the most dishonest groups of people that I've ever met." But isn't this the pot calling the kettle black, since Trump constantly lies, telling people what they want to hear, which he admits himself and calls "truthful hyperbole"? Trump is a flim-flam man, a snake oil salesman, the P. T. Barnum of American politics. He has no business criticizing the media until he sets a better example himself.
Does Trump believe in American values like freedom of speech, freedom of dissent, and freedom of the press? Apparently not. As he explained, again in his gleeful way, "If I become president, oh, do they have problems!" He intends to make it easier for the media to be sued for libel. But ironically the person most likely to be sued may be Trump himself, since he has made many false, libelous statements about other people.
The Shame and Blame Game: Donald Trump's Many Offensive Remarks About Women
Women are by Nature Manipulative, Sexually Aggressive Killers!
"Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers." [And of course Mr. Wiggy Piggy is The Expert!]
"The person who came up with the expression 'the weaker sex' was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye—or perhaps another body part."
"They are far worse than men, far more aggressive, and boy, can they be smart." [Women being smart seems to be a very bad thing to Mr. Boinker Oinker!]
"They want to burn their bras and complain about equal pay and being treated as men, and the second they get criticized for anything they start acting like nine-year-old little girls."
Where Does The Donald Want to See Women? On Their Knees, as Sexual Objects, Begging for Favors!
According to The Donald, it is a very "pretty picture" to see women drop to their knees to beg men for favors.
Trump told Brande Roderick, a contestant on The Apprentice: "It must be a pretty picture, you dropping to your knees."
"My favorite part of Pulp Fiction is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: 'Bitch be cool.' I love those lines."
"Women: You have to treat 'em like shit!"
Trump told Howard Stern that he believed there was something "sick" about women that caused them to be attracted to men who treat them poorly [like shit].
Trump posted an attack video showing Hillary Clinton barking like a dog.
"I think Gloria [Allred] would be very very impressed with [my penis]!"
"You know, it doesn't really matter what [the media] write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass."
"Oftentimes when I was sleeping with one of the top women in the world I would say to myself, thinking about me as a boy from Queens, 'Can you believe what I am getting?'"
He spoke often of Princess Diana, saying he would have bedded her "without hesitation" because “She had the height, she had the beauty, she had the skin. She was crazy, but these are minor details.”
“Why do people think it’s egotistical of you to say you could’ve gotten with Lady Di?” Howard Stern asked. “You could’ve gotten her, right? You could’ve nailed her.” Trump agreed: “I think I could have.”
Eva Longoria? “She’s really cute, I have to tell you, she’s really bouncy, really cute,” Trump told Howard Stern in 2005. “She’s about 5-foot-1. Do you like girls that are 5-foot-1? They come up to you know where.”
“She’s got beautiful skin,” Trump added. “You have to get started, you have to like short girls. She’s very, very short. You know, she goes out with a basketball player, which is interesting but she’s very short.”
Women's Body Fluids are Disgusting!
"Disgusting" (four times) was The Donald's mocking, sneering reaction to Hillary Clinton's bathroom break at a presidential debate; Bernie Sanders also took a break but that was not "disgusting" per Trump.
When lawyer Elizabeth Beck requested a break to pump breast milk, Trump had a cow: "He got up, his face got red, he shook his finger at me and he screamed, 'You're disgusting, you're disgusting,' and he ran out of there."
Trump also went on the rag about menstruation, claiming there was blood coming out of Megyn Kelly's "whatever" when she asked him difficult questions during the first debate.
Donald Trump's Big Breast Fetish
"A person who is very flat-chested is very hard to be a 10," Trump told Howard Stern.
Trump told Howard Stern that he thinks “anyone is insane” who reduces the size of their breasts.
Trump said of Carmen Electra: “The boob job is terrible—they look like two light posts coming out of a body.”
Trump reportedly said of his ex-wife Marla Maples, “Nice tits, no brains.”
Trump has mentioned wanting to date his daughter Ivanka, who has obviously had a major boob job, a number of times: “[Ivanka] does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Speaking of his daughter Ivanka again: “Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father . . . ”
Asked by Howard Stern to name the "three hottest chicks you're seen," Trump named Keira Knightley, Paris Hilton, and his daughter Ivanka. He also noted that he had watched Hilton's sex video.
Howard Stern asked Trump if he would still love Melania if she were disfigured in an accident. Trump asked, "How do the breasts look?" Assured that her breasts were fine, Trump said he would "stay with her 100 percent."
During the same interview Trump said he wouldn't take care of any kids Melania had; he'd just pay for them.
Trump's big breast fetish extends even to his infant daughter Tiffany: "Well, I think that she’s got a lot of Marla, she’s a really beautiful baby, and she’s got Marla’s legs. We don’t know whether she’s got this part yet [gestures toward his chest, making large breast-like circles with his hands], but time will tell."
Women Should be Judged Differently than Men: i.e., by their Looks, Sex Appeal and Husbands!
"Look at that face!" Trump told a Rolling Stone reporter as Carly Fiorina appeared on TV. "Would anyone vote for that?"
"Can you imagine that, the face of our next next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?"
Trump later repeated the same argument about Hillary Clinton: "Does she look presidential, fellas? Give me a break."
"It's certainly not groundbreaking news that the early victories by the women on The Apprentice were, to a very large extent, dependent on their sex appeal."
To a female reporter: "I mean, we could say politically correct [sic] that the look doesn't matter, but the look obviously matters. Like you wouldn't have your job if you weren't beautiful."
Trump has used Bill Clinton's marital infidelities to attack Hillary Clinton for "not being strong" on women's issues! [Oink! Oink! Mr. Wiggy Piggy!]
“Frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she would get five percent of the vote,” according to The Donald.
"I believe we're all equal except women still have to try harder and they know it. They will do what they have to do to get the job done and will not necessarily be demure about it."
Tweet: "The Miss U.S.A. pageant will be amazing tonight. To be politically incorrect, the girls (women) are REALLY BEAUTIFUL. NBC at 8 PM."
“[Hillary] was favored to win — and she got schlonged.” [If a woman loses an election, it's like being inseminated by a man, according to the wisdom of The Donald.]
All Women Want The Donald!
"All the women on The Apprentice flirted with me—consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected." [It must be the hair, and the charm!]
"Their sex drive makes us look like babies." [So says the Manchild Himself!]
Trump says women throw themselves at him: “They’ll walk up, and they’ll flip their top, and they’ll flip their panties.”
Women's Looks are all that Matters! Those who are not Tens in Trump's Opinion are Disgusting and Useless!
Trump can't help insulting women for aging: "Sometimes I do go a little bit far," he allowed, adding after a moment: "Heidi Klum. Sadly, she's no longer a 10."
"Angelina Jolie has been with so many guys she makes me look like a baby ... And, I just don't even find her attractive."
"Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing [to me] because everyone thinks she's like this great beauty. And I'm not saying she's an unattractive woman, but she's not [a] beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not—I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not."
On Rosie O'Donnell: "You take a look at her, she's a slob. She talks like a ... like a truck driver." [And what exactly is the problem with talking like a truck driver, Mr. Boinker Oinker, when you do it yourself?]
"If I were running The View, I'd fire Rosie O'Donnell. I mean, I'd look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I'd say 'Rosie, you're fired.'"
"If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?" [Is that a female president's main function: to "satisfy" men, Mr. Wiggy Piggy?]
"Cher is an average talent who's out of touch with reality. Cher is somewhat of a loser. She's lonely. She's unhappy. She's very miserable."
New York Times columnist Gail Collins wrote that Trump "sent me a copy of the column with my picture circled and 'The Face of a Dog!' written over it."
Trump called Khloe Kardashian a "fat piglet" and "the ugly Kardashian" when she appeared on Celebrity Apprentice in 2009.
"I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful."
Invectives Trump has Hurled at Women
"Brain Dead Puppets!"
Wives cannot be Trusted with any Responsibility in a Trump Business, except Supporting The Donald without Reciprocity!
Trump became very irritated when his first wife Ivana tried to talk about business (rather than about him?): "I will never again give a wife responsibility within my business."
"I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?"
Trump considered it "selfish" that his second wife Marla wanted to spend more time with him: "I always viewed her whys as being very selfish."
"For a man to be successful he needs support at home, just like my father had from my mother, not someone who is always griping and bitching."
"One thing I have learned: There is high maintenance. There is low maintenance. I want no maintenance."
According to Trump, women of principle do not sign prenuptial agreements and men should not marry them; the ones who do sign are calculating gold-diggers out for a score, but marry them to save money later!
Since Trump has been married three times with three prenuptial agreements, he has called his wives gold-diggers and has advised men to only marry gold-diggers, not women of principle!
Women, However, do have One Redeeming Quality!
Despite women's general disgustingness and lack of character, an attractive woman is a "beautiful piece of ass" who may be allowed to hang around Trump for a short period of time until her looks begin to fade.
"Good looks had been my top—and sometimes, to be honest, my only—priority in my man-about-town days."
“[Ivanka] does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” [Trump has said a number of times that he'd like to date his own daughter, only mentioning her looks and her body, never her character, intelligence or accomplishments.]
Donald Trump Plays Dear Abby, Dispensing Wonderful Advice about Women and Relationships!
"Often, I will tell friends whose wives are constantly nagging them about this or that that they're better off leaving and cutting their losses."
Trump called Anthony Weiner a "sleazebag" and a "perv," then mocked his wife Huma Abedin for being in love with him.
"Lolo Jones, our beautiful Olympic athlete, wants to remain a virgin until she gets married―she is great."
"@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man―he made a good decision."
"Everyone knows I am right that Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart. In a couple of years, he will thank me. Be smart, Robert!" [Yes, listen to Dire Abby!]
"Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again―just watch. He can do much better!"
"@katyperry is no bargain, but I don't like John Mayer—he dates and tells—be careful Katy (just watch!)."
"Sarah Jessica Parker voted 'unsexiest woman alive' – I agree. She said 'it's beneath me to comment on the potential Obama charitable gift.' What's really beneath her?"
"While @BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct."
"Now grotesque @BetteMidler is into the Trump act, trying to become relevant again."
Beautiful women are like beautiful buildings: "Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art, is not just superficial or something pretty to see."
Sexual assaults are "to be expected" if women join the armed forces: "26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military, only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?"
[According to Trump's "logic" we should expect lots of sexual assaults at high schools, colleges, universities, and apartment buildings ... it's only natural, after all!]
Donald Trump has only One Regret in the "Woman Department"!
Trump has no regrets for his failed marriages or the many vile and insulting things he has said to and about women: "I only have one regret in the women department—that I never had the opportunity to court Lady Diana Spencer. I met her on a number of occasions. I couldn't help but notice how she moved people. She lit up the room with her charm, her presence. She was a genuine princess—a dream lady." (Would it have been, perhaps, like the Beauty and the Beast?)
Donald Trump's Top Ten Women to Bed
Melania Knauss (his third wife)
Ivana Trump (his first wife)
Bette Midler Quotes Joseph Heller to Insult The Donald and Men Like Him
“It was miraculous. It was almost no trick at all, he saw, to turn vice into virtue and slander into truth, impotence into abstinence, arrogance into humility, plunder into philanthropy, thievery into honor, blasphemy into wisdom, brutality into patriotism, and sadism into justice. Anybody could do it; it required no brains at all. It merely required no character.” — Joseph Heller, Catch-22
Out Foxed or Fox Outed?
Fox News has blasted Donald Trump for his repeated attacks on Megyn Kelly, one of the network's most prominent anchors and host of the nightly news talk show "The Kelly File." The Fox statement came after Trump sent out a tweet calling for viewers to stop watching Kelly's program. "Donald Trump's vitriolic attacks against Megyn Kelly and his extreme, sick obsession with her is beneath the dignity of a presidential candidate who wants to occupy the highest office in the land," Fox News said in its statement. "Megyn is an exemplary journalist and one of the leading anchors in America―we're extremely proud of her phenomenal work and continue to fully support her throughout every day of Trump's endless barrage of crude and sexist verbal assaults. As the mother of three young children, with a successful law career and the second highest rated show in cable news, it's especially deplorable for her to be repeatedly abused just for doing her job." Trump's attacks on Kelly began when she had the temerity to quote offensive things he had said publicly about Rosie O'Donnell and other women.
Elizabeth Warren Outs Trump as a Loser and Failure
Elizabeth Warren: "Count all his failed businesses. See how he kept his father's empire afloat by cheating people with scams like Trump University and by using strategic corporate bankruptcy (excuse me, bankruptcies) to skip out on debt. Listen to the experts who've concluded he's so bad at business that he might have more money today if he’d put his entire inheritance into an index fund and just left it alone." According to financial experts, if Trump had put all the money he inherited in an index fund (which tracks the stock market), he would have more money today. And despite Trump's claims to "always hire the best people," he has many failed businesses in addition to four major bankruptcies.
Trump Campaign Throws Tantrums, Laments Half-Breed President
As one critic put it, "the Donald Trump Experience just keeps getting weirder." It's like the Jimi Hendrix Experience, with the weird hair and beads, but without the genius, the great soul or the positive vibes. Trump campaign spokeswoman Katrina Pierson, who previously made headlines by wearing a necklace of bullets during an interview, has been called to the carpet for tweets in which she referred to President Obama as the "head Negro" and opined that he wasn't a "pure breed" because his father wasn't born in the United States. (My mother was born in England; does that make me a half-breed? My father has Native American blood. If that makes me a half-breed―or, more accurately, a one-sixteenth-breed―is that a minus or a plus?) Birds of a racist feather will flock together, and The Donald Himself has set a very bad example for his campaigners by talking condescendingly about "the blacks" and "the Hispanics" and how they all "love" him and will vote for him in droves, when the polls say otherwise. Trump is tone deaf to his own bigotry, and other members of his campaign seem to be blissfully unaware of how offensive they sound. More and more the Trump campaign resembles a romper room full of tykes in their terrible twos and threes, all screaming potty words and angrily stomping their feet, because there are no adults to put them in timeout until they learn to behave. Rather, the superannuated headmaster recently bragged that he is a "fabulous whiner" who whines repeatedly until he "wins."
After watching Trump, Cruz and Rubio act like truants at a Republican presidential debate, it occurred to me that Ozzy Osbourne was a prophet when he wrote and recorded "Crazy Train," with lyrics like "mental wounds not healing" and "I'm going off the rails on a crazy train." These lines remind me of Donald Trump and could have been written specifically about him: "One person conditioned to rule and control / The media sells it and you live the role."
Chronology of Trump's Attacks on Women
This chronology was excerpted from an article in The Telegraph by Claire Cohen:
1990: In an interview with Vanity Fair, while he was still married to his first wife Ivana, Trump said: “I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?”
1991: Trump spoke to Esquire magazine about the media: "You know, it doesn't really matter what [they] write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass."
1997: Trump said that most women are gold-diggers and the ones who aren’t should not be married, in Trump: The Art of the Comeback: “There are basically three types of women and reactions. One is the good woman who very much loves her future husband, solely for himself, but refuses to sign the agreement on principle. I fully understand this, but the man should take a pass anyway and find someone else. The other is the calculating woman who refuses to sign the prenuptial agreement because she is expecting to take advantage of the poor, unsuspecting sucker she’s got in her grasp. There is also the woman who will openly and quickly sign a prenuptial agreement in order to make a quick hit and take the money given to her.”
2004: Trump told the Daily News: "all of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected”.
2005: According to one woman who appeared on The Apprentice, Trump told her: “I bet you make a great wife”.
2006: According to ABC News, Trump said “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
2006: Trump told Entertainment Tonight: “Rosie O'Donnell is disgusting, both inside and out. If you take a look at her, she's a slob. How does she even get on television? If I were running The View, I'd fire Rosie. I'd look her right in that fat, ugly face of hers and say, 'Rosie, you're fired.' We're all a little chubby but Rosie's just worse than most of us. But it's not the chubbiness — Rosie is a very unattractive person, both inside and out." Trump also took a jab at her love life and managed to offend the LGBT community at the same time: "Rosie's a person who's very lucky to have her girlfriend. And she better be careful or I'll send one of my friends over to pick up her girlfriend, why would she stay with Rosie if she had another choice?"
2007: In Trump 101: The Way to Success, Trump compared women to buildings: "Beauty and elegance, whether in a woman, a building, or a work of art, is not just superficial or something pretty to see."
2007: On Larry King’s CNN show, Trump addressed Angelina Jolie’s falling out with her father Jon Voight, saying: “I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she's not—I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she's not".
June 2007: Trump pitched Lady or a Tramp? This was reported to be a reality show in which ‘out of control’ party girls were sent to charm school to learn some manners. Because, God forbid a woman should be anything but demure.
2008: Trump called Anne Hathaway a gold-digger. When her marriage broke up, following her husband Rafaella Follierei’s financial and legal troubles, Trump told Access Hollywood: “So when he had plenty of money, she liked him. But then after that, not as good, right?”
2009: Beauty queen Carrie Prejean wrote about the ‘Trump rule’ in her book, referring to the Miss USA pageant, of which Trump is co-owner. She claimed that the billionaire had the girls parade in front of him, so he could separate those he found attractive from those he didn’t. She wrote: “Many of the girls found this exercise humiliating. Some of the girls were sobbing backstage after [he] left, devastated to have failed even before the competition really began .?.?. it was as though we had been stripped bare.”
2010: According to a report in the New York Post, former female contestants on the show complained that Trump consistently objectified women. Mahsa Saeidi-Azcuy claimed: “So much of the boardroom discussion concerned the appearance of the female contestants—discussing the female contestants' looks—who he found to be hot. “He asked the men to rate the women — he went down the line and asked the guys, ‘Who’s the most beautiful on the women’s team?’” Gene Folkes, a 46-year-old financial adviser, said: “I think it was most uncomfortable when he had one [female] contestant come around the board table and twirl around.”
2011: Trump was in court testifying in a deposition over a failed Florida real estate project, when lawyer Elizabeth Beck asked to take a break to breastfeed her three-month old daughter. Trump and his team objected, so she pulled out her breast pump to prove it. In an incident that the Republican presidential candidate ‘does not dispute’, he walked out of the room, telling Beck she was ‘disgusting’.
2011: After New York Times columnist Gail Collins wrote about rumours of Trump’s bankruptcy, he sent her a copy of her own article, with her picture circled and ‘the face of a dog!’ scrawled across it.
2012: In 2012, transgender Miss Universe contestant Jenna Talackova was kicked out of the contest for not having declared her trans status in her entry (the pageant does now accept trans people). Talackova’s lawyer, Gloria Allred, angrily said that no one had asked Trump to ‘prove’ he was a man by showing his anatomy. In response, Trump called TMZ Live and said of his penis: “I think Gloria would be very impressed”.
2012: Cher criticised Trump’s friend and right-wing politician Mitt Romney. His response? To attack her appearance, of course.
2012: Huffington Post editor and co-founder Arianna Huffington is a regular target of Trump’s. But instead of attacking her liberal views, he tends to criticise her looks and make jokes about her divorce: “@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man — he made a good decision.”
2013: “@ForeverMcIn: @realDonaldTrump how much would it take for you to make out with Rosie O'Donnell?" One trillion, at least!”
2013: Former Playboy playmate Brande Roderick was a contestant on Celebrity Apprentice in the US. During a tense boardroom battle, she knelt in front of Trump – who takes the Alan Sugar role — to ask him whether she could be the next project manager. After a six second silence (an eternity on TV), during which Trump presumably willed some blood to return to his head — he said: “It must be a pretty picture. You dropping to your knees”. Because isn’t that woman’s place in the boardroom — on her knees, begging a man for favors?
2013: Rather than, say, questioning why so many assaults go unreported or why so few perpetrators are brought to justice. Nope, it must be down to the fact that women and men just can’t share the same living quarters: “26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military — only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?”
2015: Having previously supported the pro-choice lobby, Trump has now changed his stance on abortion to fit in with the Republican party. He’s also said he’d be willing to shut down the US Government to defund non-profit reproductive health organisation Planned Parenthood. He told the Des Moines Register: “In thinking about it over the years, I’ve had instances, and one instance in particular, a friend had a child who they were going to abort, and now they have it, and the child is incredible. And the man, he changed his views also because of that.”
2015: “How much money is the extremely unattractive (both inside and out) Arianna Huffington paying her poor ex-hubby for the use of his name?”
2015: Trump said Hillary couldn’t ‘satisfy’ her husband and therefore couldn’t satisfy America, in a thinly veiled reference to Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. Where most of Trump’s sexist tweets remain, this one has mysteriously disappeared from the social media site.
2015: Megyn Kelly hosted the first Republican debate of the US Presidential campaign and gave Trump a tough time over previous accusations of sexism against him (really, we can’t imagine why). After the debate, he responded by seeming to call her a ‘bimbo’ on Twitter: "@timjcam: @megynkelly @FrankLuntz @realDonaldTrump Fox viewers give low marks to bimbo @MegynKelly will consider other programs!" And in a later CNN interview Trump suggested her questioning was because of her period: "You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever." Trump has denied this was his intention.
2015: In an interview with the New York Times, Trump said: “Heidi Klum. Sadly, she’s no longer a 10.” In response, Klum posted a video on Twitter in which she wore a t-shirt with ‘9.9’ written on it.
2015: Carly Fiorina was Trump’s Republican candidate rival. According to Rolling Stone, he said: "Look at that face. Could anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next next president? I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?"
2015: Trump insulted Fiorina again when he singled her out for a dressing down, ignoring the fact his male counterparts were also talking over one another. His comment: "Why does she keep interrupting everybody?" was immediately called sexist on social media.
2016: Trump caused mass outage after advocating "some form of punishment" for women who have abortions if the practise is banned (which it likely will be if he gets his way). "There has to be some form of punishment," he told MSNBC, referring to women who would seek to defy the ban he proposes. Trump reversed his position two hours later, with a statement saying that he would punish doctors who performed abortions but not the women themselves.
2016: After Hillary Clinton criticised his piggish stance on women's issues, Trump hit back by accusing her of being an “enabler” of her husband's affairs. At a rally, he said: “Bill Clinton was the worst in history and I have to listen to her talking about it?" He said in Eugene, Oregon: “Just remember this: She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler.”
2016: Trump 'apologized' to Megyn Kelly for suggesting she was on her period when she took him to task for previous sexist comments. When asked about calling Kelly a 'bimbo', Trump replied: "Did I say that? Excuse me." But he couldn't resist adding another jibe: "Over your life, Megyn, you've been called a lot worse, wouldn't you say?"
2016: Trump insulted the Rev. Faith Green Timmons, the pastor of a Flint, Michigan church, calling her a "nervous mess," after she asked him not to give a political speech to her congregation.
Is this the Best Donald Trump Insult of All Time?
JEB BUSH: "I won the lottery 63 years ago when I looked up and saw my mom. My mom is the strongest woman I know."
DONALD TRUMP: "She should be running."
Trump's deadpan rejoinder gets my vote as his best "zinger" of all time, or at least to date. It came during a heated debate in which Jeb Bush once again attempted to revise history by claiming that his brother, George W. Bush, "protected" the American people in the wake of 9-11. Marco Rubio, the young rube who is always eager to make impressive conservative noises, chimed in with a typically earnest "He kept us safe, and I am forever grateful for what he did!" (We can probably assume that the Bush-Rubio bromance is back on, if only out of the necessity of bonding in the foxhole as Trump pounds away with the heavy artillery. Bush and Rubio seem to debate in a state of shellshock, unable to process the chaos, mayhem and destruction created by their own party.) So, did the doltish Dubya "protect" Americans and keep them "safe," really? No, Trump was correct in his harsh but realistic assessment. Dubya did as much to protect Americans before 9-11 as he did to protect the citizens of New Orleans before Katrina. During the 9-11 attacks, Dubya and his cohort Dick "the Penguin" Cheney disappeared from view and were presumably cowering in fear in some super-secret bombproof basement. When Dubya finally re-emerged, it was to in congruously strut around like a peacock, telling the terrorists to "Bring it on!" He and his fascist cohort promised quick, easy victories, with American soldiers being hailed as white knights and saviors. Dubya then claimed the job was finished when it had hardly begun. Being unhappy with complexity, he turned the management of both wars over to the Penguin, who had fabricated "evidence" of WMDs to "justify" the invasion of Iraq. The invasion of Iraq on false premises opened the door for al-Qaeda to infiltrate Iraq. The same open door led to the rise of ISIS. Did any of this make Americans "safer"? Obviously not. I am not a Trump fan, but I give him credit for calling a spade a spade, rather than preaching to the addled choir. When he was booed for speaking obvious truths, Trump suggested that the audience had been stacked with Bush supporters. Would it be any surprise if that were true?
The Republican establishment and its sheep-like followers have no interest in looking in the mirror, or accepting any blame for the party's many failings. Who voted against the Iraq War Resolution? Barack Obama and Bernie Sanders, along with the majority of Democrats. Who pushed for the invasion if Iraq? The Bush administration and nearly every Republic senator and congressman. So who is responsible for the rise of ISIS? Obviously, the GOP and its warmongering leaders.
Michael Stipe of REM is not happy that Trump played the song “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)” at a “Stop the Iran Deal” rally where Trump and Ted Cruz spoke. Stipe told Trump: “Do not use our music or my voice for your moronic charade of a campaign.”
Donald Trump wants the RNC to control Ted Cruz. And what Trump wants, he usually gets. The Donald recently complained that "Ted Cruz is a totally unstable individual. He is the single biggest liar I’ve ever come across, in politics or otherwise, and I have seen some of the best of them." Now, if the RNC doesn't shift the Cruz Controller into a lower gear, Trump threatens that he'll run as an independent, presumably sinking any hope that the Republican nominee can get elected.
HEADLINE: TRUMP-CRUZ BROMANCE OFFICIALLY KAPUT!
While at one time it seemed that there was a lovely, warm, endearing bromance between Donald Trump and Rafael "Ted" Cruz, the bloom is certainly off that rose. In recent days, The Donald has called Cruz a "maniac," "nasty," "slimy," a "whack job," a "nervous wreck," a slave who is "owned" by special interests, a "liar," a "hypocrite" and (gasp!) a "natural-born Canadian." In response Cruz has accused Trump of having "New York values" and has complained that "he insults me every day." Unfortunately for Cruz, it seems to be true that he is as loathed by Republicans as he is by Democrats, so no one is coming forward to defend his dubious honor.
Where Have All the Birthers Gone? (Part I)
The Trump-Cruz bromance is officially over; the new relationship is more like a "yuge" boa constrictor happily squeezing the remaining life from a Canadian chipmunk. Trump has already tweeted his condolences to Cruz: it's "so sad" that his best bud can't run for president, not being a natural-born American! But on the brighter side, Cruz can now take advantage of his other citizenships to summer in Canada and winter in Cuba, like a duck! Don't you just love the smell of irony in the morning? Cruz's father is a birther who once said that Barack Obama should return to Kenya; now The Donald's returned the favor! But seriously, does Trump have an argument? Are Americans willing to accept a foreign birth certificate as "proof" that someone was born whenever and wherever they claim? I can imagine voters asking what appear to be legitimate questions: "How do we know it's authentic? What if the birth certificate were Russian, Chinese, North Korean or Iranian? Are we ready to put our trust in every nation on earth to tell us the truth and always act in our best interests?" But in any case, the Trump-Cruz bromance is now officially kaput. It lasted nearly as long as a Kardashian marriage, then ended with far more bitter acrimony. Here's a timeline of the doomed affair:
July 05, 2015―Cruz: "I like Donald Trump. He's bold; he's brash."
Sep 09, 2015―Trump: "I like him. He likes me."
Dec 10, 2015―Cruz opens the door for a Trump counterattack by suggesting The Donald cannot be trusted with the nuclear codes.
Dec 11, 2015―The Cruz Controller tries to repair the shattered bromance: "The Establishment's only hope: Trump & me in a cage match. Sorry to disappoint--@realDonaldTrump is terrific. #DealWithIt"
Dec 13, 2015―Trump calls Cruz a "little bit of a maniac."
Jan. 05, 2016―Trump brings up the fact that Cruz was born in Canada, has a Canadian birth certificate, and a dual passport.
Jan. 12, 2016―Cruz dismisses Trump and an entire state: "Donald comes from New York and he embodies New York values."
Jan. 14, 2016―Cruz again insults Trump's and New York's values: "I guess I can—can frame it another way: Not a lot of conservatives come out of Manhattan. I'm just saying."
Jan. 14, 2016―Trump spanks Cruz in public: "When the World Trade Center came down, I saw something that no place on Earth could have handled more beautifully, more humanely than New York."
Jan. 16, 2016―Trump unleashes a tweetstorm aimed at Cruz. For instance: "Ted is the ultimate hypocrite. Says one thing for money, does another for votes."
Jan. 16, 2016―Trump's tweetstorm continues: "When will @TedCruz give all the New York based campaign contributions back to the special interests that control him?"
Jan. 16, 2016―Trump's tweets set the ether atwitter: "Ted Cruz was born in Canada and was a Canadian citizen until 15 months ago. Lawsuits have just been filed with more to follow. I told you so!"
Jan. 16, 2016―Trump's tweetstorm continues to gather strength: "Ted Cruz purposely, and illegally, did not list on his personal disclosure form personally guaranteed loans from banks. They own him!"
Jan. 16, 2016―Cruz not-so-obliquely suggests that Trump is unstable because he keeps "springing out of bed to tweet in a frantic response to the latest polls."
Jan. 17, 2016―Trump lashes back at Cruz: "He's a nasty guy. Nobody likes him. Nobody in Congress likes him. Nobody likes him anywhere once they get to know him."
Rafael "Ted" Cruz has been called "the most loathed man in American politics." Considering how very unpopular American politicians are at present, that's saying quite a mouthful. And it seems to be true, not just a case of The Donald trumpeting hot air. What is it about the Cruz Controller that puts so many people off?
Groups Donald Trump Has Insulted
Prisoners of War (they should have avoided capture, if they wanted to earn The Donald's respect)
Reporters and the Press (all or almost all reporters are dishonest, not perfectly truthful like The Donald!)
Politicians (all politicians other than Trump are idiots, incompetent, etc.)
Republicans (they don't know how to negotiate and thus are inferior to Trump, as everyone else is)
The entire state of Iowa (stupid hicks, for voting for anyone other than The Donald!)
The handicapped and disabled (Trump mocked a disabled reporter)
Seventh Day Adventists (Trump made it clear that his Presbyterian denomination is better)
Cuban Christians (not many evangelicals come from Cuba, so Cuban Christians are suspect)
Syrian refugees (even widows and orphans are dangerous and cannot be trusted)
Hispanic immigrants (all or nearly all illegal Mexican immigrants are drug dealers and/or rapists; immigrants are about to "overrun" the US like a swarm of locusts)
African Americans (according to Trump's re-tweet of neo-Nazi "statistics," virtually everyone murdered in the US is killed by a black person)
Women (women who are not tens according to Trump's ultra-high standards are pigs, dogs, etc., and have no business running for president)
Asians (only Trump can beat China; otherwise Chinese people will always beat Americans)
Muslims (ban them all, just as Hitler and the Nazis banned all Jews, even widows and orphans!)
Jewish Americans (99% of Jews are deal-making Shylocks who care nothing about their country and only want to buy politicians!)
Trump is an equal opportunity insulter. He insults universities because he hasn't heard of them: "What the hell is Monmouth?" He insulted the entire state of Iowa, asking how "stupid" its voters must be not to favor him. Trump insults races and ethnicities with great gusto: Hispanics, blacks, Syrians. He insults religions and denominations: Islam, Seventh Day Adventists, Cuban Christians who are not evangelicals. He insults women who are not "tens" in his opinion, even Heidi Klum! But perhaps Trump's apex as an insulter-par-excellence came when he spoke before the Republican Jewish Coalition. Trump has said some truly crazy things in his run for president, and has done a lot of pandering to white supremacists, but his appearance at the RJC was still something to behold. It was one yuuuuge, offensive mistake after another! Trump was booed, jeered, and met with uncomfortable laughter and periods of stony silence by the perplexed crowd. Trump opened his anti-Semitic act by saying: "You just like me because my daughter happens to be Jewish." He soon dropped a big hint that Jews care more about money and controlling politicians than their country, saying: "I don't want your money, therefore you're probably not going to support me." Later, he raised the level of insensitivity to unprecedented heights: "Stupidly, you want to give money. Trump doesn't want money. Even though he's better than all these guys, even though he's going to do more for Israel than anybody else." Trump, like so many other conspiracy theorists, knows that Jews by nature want to control the world: "You're not gonna support me because I don't want your money. You want to control your politicians." Ari Fleischer, Press Secretary to former President George W. Bush, found such assertions "offensive" and a "woeful misread" of the RJC. Some audience members obviously found Trump's racist stereotypes offputting: during the speech, attendees could be seen shaking their heads in disbelief and burying their faces in their hands. The eyebrow-raising comments kept coming, as when Trump told the room that he's a negotiator "like you folks." Trump, like all savvy anti-Semites, knows that a roomful of Jews must contain a huge majority of deal-making Shylocks. How many Shylocks? Trump actually estimated the percentage, saying: "Is there anybody that doesn't renegotiate deals in this room? This room negotiates them, probably more than any other room I've ever spoken in ... Probably 99% of you!" No doctors, nurses, teachers or philanthropists in a room full of Jews! How did Trump do, with such comments? Predictably, he crowed that he "totally won." Yes, of course "the Jews" now love Trump, just as "the blacks" and "the Latinos" do! Or perhaps not ...
@Bencjacobs: You have to give plaudits to Donald Trump for chutzpah. Who else gives a borderline anti-Semitic speech at the Republican Jewish Coalition?
@AriFleischer: "You're not going to support me because I don't want your money." What the hell does that mean?
@ChemiShalev: Trump spit on a Jewish audience and everyone pretended they were in a water park!
@TimesOfIsrael: Trump courts Republican Jews with offensive stereotypes!
However, Donald Trump may have met his Match in Ted Cruz Control
"Button! Button! Who gets the nuclear button?" According to Ted Cruz, we can't trust the Trump of Doom or Crazy Ben Carson with the button, but it was Mr. Cruz Missile who pledged to "carpet bomb" the Middle East with nukes to see if the sands will glow at night. How many completely innocent women and children will he murder with his Dr. Strangelove act?
Ted Cruz has a very creepy campaign strategy: he "bear hugs" fascists and "smothers them with love" in order to woo their supporters away. Mr. Cruz Control makes Trump and Carson seem almost charming by comparison.
Ted Cruz may be the only American politician creepier than Richard Nixon, Joe McCarthy, J. Edgar Hoover, George Wallace, Jesse Helms and Aaron Burr—combined. Cruz eerily resembles Paul Bearer (Pall Bearer), the funeral parlor "manager" of pro wrestling's Undertaker. Cruz looks like death warmed over, and his policies are.
Organizations Donald Trump Has Insulted
Forbes (a "failed magazine")
The Des Moines Register ("very dishonest")
The Weekly Standard (a "small and slightly failing magazine")
Republican National Committee ("very foolish")
Univision ("they are doing really badly")
The Wall Street Journal ("ever dwindling")
More of the Best (i.e., Worst) Donald Trump Insults
Trump called Glenn Beck "wacky" and a "real nut job" who "seems to always be crying." Trump also said that Beck, one of the most-listened-to radio hosts has "become irrelevant."
Trump called Ariana Huffington a "liberal clown"
Trump called Bill Kristol "dopey" and said he has "lost all credibility with so many dumb statements and picks."
Trump insulted Joe Biden for having an accident: "Our chief negotiator [with Iran] goes into a bicycle race at 73, falls down and breaks his leg. These people are incompetent." (Biden is 71, Mr. Competent, and you dodged the Vietnam War by claiming to have "bone spurs" in your legs.)
Trump insulted Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio, mocking them for "hugging and kissing and proclaiming their great love" for each other. (Trump then proclaimed his love for "the blacks," "the Hispanics" and women.)
Trump insulted Jeb Bush, calling him "low energy," "dumb as a rock," "lost," "pathetic," a "slave" to donors, and said his campaign is a "disaster."
Trump ridiculed Marco Rubio, calling him a "lightweight," a "clown" and "weak like a baby."
Trump also mocked Rubio for sweating and gulping water during presidential debates, and called him a "lightweight choker" because he once choked while gulping water.
Trump tweeted: "Sheldon Adelson is looking to give big dollars to Rubio because he feels he can mold him into his perfect little puppet. I agree!"
Trump called Anthony Weiner a "sleazebag" and a "perv," then mocked his wife Huma Abedin for being in love with him.
Trump insulted Jorge Ramos, telling the much-beloved journalist: "I have a bigger heart than you do." (This, while Trump was calling for the mass deportation of 11 million immigrants, including children born in the USA.)
Trump insulted voters who support Ben Carson, calling them "stupid" to believe him: "How stupid are the people of Iowa? How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?"
Trump insulted Carson, repeatedly comparing his "pathological temper" to a child molester, saying that both are incurable.
Trump insulted Hillary Clinton, saying she is playing the "women's card big league." That also insults women who insist on equal rights and equal pay for equal work.
Trump insulted Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley, calling him a "clown" in a tweet. Isn't that like Bozo calling Ronald McDonald a clown?
Trump insulted the press: "I can leave the press alone, they're scum."
"Look at that face!" Trump told a Rolling Stone reporter as Carly Fiorina appeared on TV. "Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president. I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not s'posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?"
Trump called Lindsey Graham an "idiot" and a "beggar."
Trump insulted the United States, calling it "a dumping ground for the rest of the world" that is constantly taken advantage of by other nations and "never wins." In other words, according to Trump, the United States is the world's biggest loser. That is exactly the opposite of Ronald Reagan's vision of the United States as a "shining city on a hill" acting as a beacon to the rest of the world.
Trump gloried in his plan to follow in Dick Cheney's footsteps by using the U.S. military to steal oil in the Middle East: "I would bomb the sh*t out of them," Trump said, to applause. "I would just bomb those suckers. And that's right, I'd blow up the pipes. I'd blow up the refineries. I'd blow up every single inch. There would be nothing left, and you know what, you'll get Exxon to come in there, and in two months, you ever see these guys how good they are, the great oil companies? They'll rebuild that sucker brand new. It will be beautiful, and I'll take the oil. And I said I'll take the oil." Of course, Cheney's plan didn't work because it would take hundreds of thousands of American troops to control a nation the size of Iraq, and the American public is not willing to watch thousands of American soldiers die in order to steal oil.
The universe may be starting to zap the heretofore Teflon Don with some retaliatory karma. After Trump's guest host appearance on Saturday Night Live, he was called a "black hole of comedic antimatter." Trump claimed that one of his goals was to prove that he can take a joke, but it was obvious that he had control over which jokes were told and which ones were not aired. However, Trump is tone deaf to how off-putting his "brand" is to people who have not been brainwashed by Faux News, so the jokes he permitted may prove to be his undoing, or at least help the process along.
In particular, Trump and the Republican Party have alienated minorities and women. I think Jennifer Lawrence spoke for many American women when she told Vogue magazine: "I was raised a Republican, but I just can't imagine supporting a party that doesn't support women's basic rights."
Ben Carson is such a crackpot, he would shoot down down a Russian plane if it accidentally violated a U.S.-led no-fly zone over Syria, risking an unnecessary war: "If they violate it, we will, in fact, enforce it. We'll see what happens. For us to always be backing down because we're afraid of a conflict, that's not how we became a great nation." So according to Carson, the U.S. became a great nation by having a hair trigger and rushing into avoidable wars. Trump and Carson seem to be in a competition to become the biggest, brashest bully on the international block.
The Donald is All-a-Twitter: Donald Trump Tweets
If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America? [Later deleted]
#JebBush has to like the Mexican Illegals because of his wife. [Later deleted]
@realDonaldTrump "According to Bill O'Reilly, 80% of all the shootings in New York City are blacks―if you add Hispanics, that figure goes to 98%. 1% white."
@realDonaldTrump "Sadly, the overwhelming amount of violent crime in our major cities is committed by blacks and hispanics―a tough subject―must be discussed."
Robert [Pattinson] I'm getting a lot of heat for saying you should dump Kristen [Stewart] but I'm right. If you saw the Miss Universe girls you would reconsider. [Yes, Trump dispenses abusive love lectures!]
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again―just watch. He can do much better!
@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man―he made a good decision.
"Our great African American President hasn't exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore!"
Free trade is terrible!
@SenJohnMcCain should be defeated in the primaries. Graduated last in his class at Annapolis―dummy!
What a waste of time being interviewed by @andersoncooper when he puts on really stupid talking heads like Tim O'Brien―dumb guy with no clue!
@FrankLuntz is a low class slob who came to my office looking for consulting work and I had zero interest. Now he picks anti-Trump panels!
Jonah Goldberg @JonahNRO of the once great @NRO#National Review is truly dumb as a rock. Why does @BretBaier put this dummy on his show?
Can you envision Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton negotiating with 'El Chapo'? Trump, however, would kick his ass!
The liberal clown @ariannahuff told her minions at the money losing @HuffingtonPost to cover me as entertainment. I am #1 in Huff Post Poll.
I hear @pennjillette show on Broadway is terrible. Not surprised, boring guy (Penn). Without The Apprentice, show would have died long ago.
I loved firing goofball atheist Penn @pennjillette on The Apprentice. He never had a chance. Wrote letter to me begging for forgiveness.
One of the worst and most boring political pundits on television is @krauthammer. A totally overrated clown who speaks without knowing facts.
Why would anybody listen to @MittRomney? He lost an election that should have easily been won against Obama. By the way, so did John McCain!
I hope the boycott of @Macys continues forever. So many people are cutting up their cards. Macy's stores suck and they are bad for U.S.A.
Boycott @Macys, no guts, no glory. Besides, there are far better stores!
Dopey @Lawrence O’Donnell, whose unwatchable show is dying in the ratings, said that my Apprentice $ numbers were wrong. He is a fool!
Rick Perry failed at the border. Now he is critical of me. He needs a new pair of glasses to see the crimes committed by illegal immigrants!
@GovernorPerry failed on the border. He should be forced to take an IQ test before being allowed to enter the GOP debate.
He's doing very poorly in the polls. He put on glasses so people will think he's smart. And it just doesn't work! You know people can see through the glasses!
Pataki couldn’t be elected dog catcher if he ran again—so he didn’t!
@GovernorPataki was a terrible governor of NY, one of the worst―would’ve been swamped if he ran again!
@KarlRove wasted $400 million + and didn’t win one race—a total loser.
Irrelevant clown @KarlRove sweats and shakes nervously on @FoxNews as he talks 'bull' about me. Has zero cred. Made fool of himself in '12.
@FoxNewsYou shouldn’t have @KarlRove on the air—he’s a clown with zero credibility—a Bushy!
I hear that sleepy eyes @chucktodd will be fired like a dog from ratings starved Meet The Press? I can't imagine what is taking so long!
Shouldn’t George Will have to give a disclaimer every time he is on Fox that his wife works for Scott Walker?
@TheJuanWilliams you never speak well of me & yet when I saw you at Fox you ran over like a child and wanted a picture!
Top Ten Donald Trump Insights into Women
"Women have one of the great acts of all time. The smart ones act very feminine and needy, but inside they are real killers. The person who came up with the expression 'the weaker sex' was either very naive or had to be kidding. I have seen women manipulate men with just a twitch of their eye — or perhaps another body part."
"I believe we’re all equal except women still have to try harder and they know it. They will do what they have to do to get the job done and will not necessarily be demure about it."
It is a "pretty picture" to see attractive women drop to their knees and beg men for favors.
However, an attractive woman is a "beautiful piece of ass" who may be allowed to hang around Trump until her looks fade.
Top Ten People and Organizations Who Stood Up to Donald Trump's Insults and Bullying
Jorge Ramos, America’s most prominent Spanish-language journalist, has called Trump "the loudest voice of intolerance, division and hatred" in America.
Megyn Kelly, who asked Trump why he called women "fat pigs," "dogs," "slobs" and "disgusting animals."
Carly Fiorina, for tweeting "Mr. Trump: There. Is. No. Excuse."
Roger Ailes, Kelly's boss, who accused Trump of being a social media "bully."
Heidi Klum, who humorously changed her "rating" to 9.99 after Trump claimed she was no longer a 10. Klum then pointed out that all women are tens.
Rosie O'Donnell, who called Trump a "bully" and a "snake-oil salesman."
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar said of Trump, "No one has to twist his words because what he says is twisted enough. He speaks fluent pretzel."
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar also said that "Trump is a last-call candidate who looks good in the boozy dark of political inebriation. "
Jeb Bush said that Trump seems to think that he can "insult his way to the presidency."
ESPN, Univision, Macy's, NBC Universal, NASCAR, the PGA, the FAA, New York City, and every other organization that publicly opposed Trump's insulting and bullying ways ...
Newt Gingrich called Trump a "barroom brawler."
Bobby Jindal said "silly summer season is over" and Trump should be sent "back to reality TV."
Marco Rubio, addressing Trump's comments about Mexican immigrants, said: "Trump’s comments are not just offensive and inaccurate, but also divisive."
Rick Perry said he was "offended" by Trump's "offensive" remarks.
Lindsey Graham said Trumps comments were "hurtful and not helpful" because most undocumented immigrants are "hardworking decent people."
Mitt Romney said he thought that Trump "made a severe error in saying what he did about Mexican-Americans."
Top Ten Donald Trump Failures
Trump Casinos (Trump Entertainment Resorts Inc. filed for bankruptcy four times)
Trump Airlines aka Trump Shuttle (never made a profit; defaulted on its loans; went bust in 1992)
Trump Vodka (never caught on; ceased production)
Trump University (closed in 2011 after being sued for defrauding students)
Trump Mortgage (opened with great fanfare, but was out of business in less than two years)
Trump Magazine (shut down within two years)
Trump Steaks (started in 2007, never caught on, since discontinued)
Trump Ice (never caught on, discontinued in 2010)
Trump: the Game (never caught on)
GoTrump.com (a travel-related search engine that was trashed by critics and shut down within a year)
New Jersey Generals (the USFL team folded along with the league in 1985; Trump has been blamed for the league folding)
Trump Tower Tampa (took deposits of $45,000 from apartment buyers, never built the building, and did not return the deposits)
Trump Follies (shut down in 2009)
Trump Power (shut down in 2006)
Trump Fire (shut down in 2006)
Purley Trump (shut down in 2011)
Trump's American Pale Ale (shut down in 2007)
The Donald (billed as the "ultimate cocktail" but abandoned in 2009)
Donald J. Trump, the Fragrance
Trump Style (shut down in 2005)
Castle Steak House (canceled in 2010)
Trumpnet (abandoned in 1992)
Oysters Trump (trademark filed, status uncertain)
Trump's Golden Lager (trademark filed, status uncertain)
Panama has announced that it will boycott the Miss Universe Pageant, which is owned and operated by Trump
Mexico will not be sending a contestant to the Miss Universe Pageant
NASCAR will not hold its annual awards ceremony at the Trump National Doral Miami resort
ESPN is pulling out of a charity golf event at a Trump course in New Jersey
The PGA won't be holding its 2015 Grand Slam of Golf at a Trump Course in LA
Macy's will no longer sell Trump's menswear line
Serta will stop selling Trump's line of mattresses
Top Ten Descriptions of Donald Trump's Hair
Unbe-weave-able ― David Letterman
Taj-Ma helmet ― David Letterman
Beverly Hills Chihuahua ― David Letterman
Carpet Sample ― Jay Leno
Ivanka Realheddahair — Michael R. Burch
The Creature ― Robin Williams
Tri-Hariatops ― Jon Stewart
Faux Fox — Michael R. Burch
Piggy Wiggy — Michael R. Burch
Donald Trump Top Ten Outrageous Quotations: the Man in his own Incongruous Words
Some of the best Donald Trump jokes are the explanations he gives for acting so obnoxiously. For instance, during an interview with Chris Cuomo on CNN's New Day, The Donald proclaimed that he is "the most fabulous whiner" and bragged: "I do whine because I want to win and I'm not happy about not winning and I am a whiner and I keep whining and whining until I win." Will Mr. Putin cave to American demands simply to stop Trump's incessant whining? Well, perhaps, since Trump is so incredibly annoying ...
The beauty of me is that I'm very rich. ― Donald Trump
I'm really rich. ― Donald Trump [which according to your logic, makes you really beautiful, no?]
You know, it really doesn't matter what the media write as long as you've got a young and beautiful piece of ass. ― Donald Trump
All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me, consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. ― Donald Trump [but were they flirting with you, or just with your money?]
There's nothing I love more than women, but they're really a lot different than portrayed. They are far worse than men, far more aggressive. ― Donald Trump
When a man leaves a woman, especially when it was perceived that he has left for a piece of ass—a good one!—there are 50 percent of the population who will love the woman who was left. ― Donald Trump
[Women:] You have to treat 'em like shit! ― Donald Trump [and you do, Donald, you do!]
It's like in golf. A lot of people—I don't want this to sound trivial—but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist. ― Donald Trump
The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive. ― Donald Trump [or is all his hot air the reason the ice caps are melting!]
The U.S. has become a dumping ground for everybody else’s problems ... When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best ... They’re sending people that have lots of problems ... They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people. ― Donald Trump
In response to the last quote above, Armando Fuentes Aguirre, writing in Reforma, said: "Donald Trump is one of these perverse specimens of whom humanity should feel ashamed ... I trust that Republicans—and all North Americans—will lance this ugly boil that has suddenly erupted in their national life."
What People "in the Know" have Said about Donald Trump
"In every town large enough to have two traffic lights there is a bar at the back of which sits the local Donald Trump, nursing his fifth beer and innumerable delusions. Because the actual Donald Trump is wealthy, he can turn himself into an unprecedentedly and incorrigibly vulgar presidential candidate. It is his right to use his riches as he pleases. His squalid performance and its coarsening of civic life are costs of freedom that an open society must be prepared to pay. When, however, Trump decided that his next acquisition would be not another casino but the Republican presidential nomination, he tactically and quickly underwent many conversions of convenience (concerning abortion, health care, funding Democrats, etc.). His makeover demonstrates that he is a counterfeit Republican and no conservative." ― George Will
"If you are a conservative alarmed at the country’s direction and committed to retaking the White House, you should be concerned about what Trump’s ascendancy is doing to the chances of that happening. The Democrats' presumptive candidate is flailing badly. Republicans have an unusually talented field with a good chance of winning back the presidency. Do they really want to be dragged into the swamps—right now, on immigration—that will make that prospect electorally impossible? Yes, I understand the anger, the frustration, etc., etc., that Trump is channeling. But how are these alleviated by yelling 'I'm mad as hell!' — and proceeding to elect Hillary Clinton?" ― Charles Krauthammer
Related pages: The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Jokes, The Donald Trump Bible or The Gospel According to Trump, Is there a Republican War on Women?, 2016 Republican First Presidential Debate: Winners, Losers and Impressions, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, Donald Trump's "Muslim Friends", Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Donald Trump's War on Women, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Poetry