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Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Characters and Costumes: Very Scary!

What could be scarier, with Halloween approaching, than a Donald Trump presidency? Or Donald Trump eyeing someone you care about, for a quick grope? It's time to think about a Trump-themed Halloween (hey, that rhymes!) ...

Here are some ideas about characters based on The Donald that should frighten everyone in sight!

The Top Ten Donald Trump Halloween Costume Ideas

Trumpenstein — Perhaps as simple as Frankenstein with yellow or orange hair, but the possibilities are endless!
The Great Trumpkin — Think of a ghoulish jack-o-lantern oozing orange-ish decomposing pumpkin pulp! Eeew!
Lurch — Similar to Trumpenstein, but perhaps with a silver serving tray, since Lurch was a butler.
The Grim Groper — Perhaps a Grim Reaper costume with "Trump touches" (double entendre intended).
The Posh Wear Wolf and The Orange Hair Wolf — Perhaps a wolf man with orange hair, in a tuxedo or a black suit with a red tie.
The Orange Blob that ate Everything in Sight — The world is Trump's oyster, or perhaps his taco bowl! Trump also likes to snack on Oreos and wolf down junk food.
Lord Voldemort — Inspired by Rosie O'Donnell, so there is a revenge factor here!
Count Hackula — Trump has been very Twilight-ish during the debates, so let your imagination roam free!
The White Kanye ― Coined by Bill Maher, this one may require more thought.
The Short-Fingered Vulgarian — Coined by Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he seems to think it implies that he is under-endowed "down there").

Anything to do with tiny fingers and under-endowment is almost bound to be hilarious, but please remember that there are lots of children running around on Halloween!

New and/or rising: Trumpzilla, Trumpenstein, The Shambling Sasquatch, The Abominable Showman, Darth Hater, Damien Trump, Forrest Trump, Pumpkin Hitler

Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets; when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections and some costume-inspiring images, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)

Would Donald Trump create an American Holocaust by deporting 11 million people, including multitudes of completely innocent children and their mothers? Is Trump the second coming of Adolph Hitler? Yes, nicknames like Hair Hitler and Hair Furor are amusing, but are they also accurate, and perhaps prophetic? In any case, there are definitely Halloween ideas here.

Ultra-Low-Cost Trump Halloween Ideas

"Dump Trump" toilet paper can be purchased for $4.99 per roll, if you're on a very tight budget.
Man-Baby Trump in a giant diaper is an inexpensive idea for the more daring!
Groper Trump in a trench coat is very inexpensive, if you own one or can borrow one.
Recycle nearly any existing Halloween costume with an orange clown wig or yellow pompadour: Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolf Man, Grim Reaper, Hitler, Richard Nixon, etc.
Hey, if Alec Baldwin can pull off a Trump impression, so can you. Just practice sniffing, denial, surliness, and looking down your nose at other people, especially women!
"Make America Grate Again" or "Hate Again" or "Irate Again" or "Migrate Again" can be stuck on a ball cap for next to nothing.
Items to complete your Trump ensemble: wig (unless you have very unusual hair!), blue or black blazer, white oxford shirt, solid red tie, flag pin, ball cap with appropriate slogan (above), orange or bronze spray tan, Trump ink pen (optional).

More Halloween ideas appear in the form of Donald Trump nicknames from various sources, below ...

Cannonball! Donald "Trump of Doom" enters the American political waters, causing a mass Exodus ... but can he really walk on water as his fervent and fervid disciples believe?

Donald Trump Nicknames that may Inspire Halloween Costumes

Hair Hitler and Hair Furor — puns on Herr Hitler and Herr Fuhrer
Damien Trump — after the Antichrist figure in the Omen movies
Tricky Trump — think of Tricky Dick Nixon
Tangerine Tornado — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator, the Angry Cheeto, Cheeto Jesus and Cheez Whiz
The Donald — Ivana Trump (she first used the term in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin, who was not trying to be funny!
Tiny Hands Trump, Babyfingers Trump and Pixie Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch (nicknames based on Graydon Carter's nickname "Short-Fingered Vulgarian")
The Most Fabulous Whiner — after Donald Trump described himself to CNN's Chris Cuomo as the "most fabulous whiner" who keeps "winning by whining"
Fuckface von Clownstick, Man-Baby, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole — Jon Stewart
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Agent Orange — Anonymous
Humble — Donald Trump's ironic choice when asked to provide a Secret Service codename
New York Pork Dork — because Trump and his companies have taken so much "pork" from federal, state and local governments
Dire Abby — Michael R. Burch (because he gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — Graydon Carter
Orange Anus — Rosie O'Donnell
Chicken Donald and Fascist Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley

Honorable Mention: Donald Drumpf (his German family name), King of the Whoppers, Mr. Wiggy Piggy, The New Furor (pun on Fόhrer), Whiny Little Bitch (Bill Maher), Donny (SNL's Church Lady, played by Dana Carvey), The Fomentor (Trevor Noah), Big Donald (coined by Marco Rubio), Pig Donald (a variation coined by feminists), Snake Oil Salesman (Rosie O'Donnell), Mein Trumpf, The Combover Kid, Short-Fingered Totalitarian, The Presumptuous Nominee (Hillary Clinton)

Just in time for Halloween, what could be scarier than a man with these nicknames: King Leer, Lurch, Yellow Yeti, Grotesquely Decomposing Pumpkin Pulp, Jack-A$$-O-Lantern, The Dangler (Dan Rather), The Creature from the Black Lampoon (Michael R. Burch), Count Hackula (Michael R. Burch), The Posh Wear Wolf  (Michael R. Burch), The Dainty-Fingered Dandy (Michael R. Burch), The Grim Groper (Michael R. Burch), Orange-Tufted Imbecile Intent on Armageddon (Michael R. Burch), Bizarro Bozo (Michael R. Burch), The Orange Blob (Michael R. Burch), King Dong (Michael R. Burch), King Leer (Michael R. Burch), The Shambling Sasquatch (Michael R. Burch), The Surreal Donald Trump, Sniffles, Whiny Wheezer, Hillary's Shadow, Fruit of the Loom, Spongedon Squarenuts, The Mad Shambler, Donnie Darko, Vanilla ISIS, The ISIS Candidate, The Boychurian Candidate, Putin's Gambit, Trumpageddon, Trumpocalypse, Orange Prometheus Unchained, Barbarian at the Debate, Paul Ryan's Worst Nightmare Come to Zombie-like Life

Here are two new Trump nicknames that may warrant an explanation: Donald Droit du Seigneur and Droit du Donald. In medieval times, droit du seigneur was the "right of a lord" to have sex with a subordinate female. The lord didn't need to obtain the female's consent, nor could her husband or family defend her honor. Now we have learned from his own mouth that Baron Trump fancies that this ancient privilege is his, because he's a "star."

Third presidential debate nicknames: Sweet Little Baby Trump (Alec Baldwin), Rigger Mortis (Michael R. Burch), Donald de Rigueur (Michael R. Burch), The Bid Rigger (Michael R. Burch), Fat A$$ (Stephen Colbert), Brexit-Plus (Donald Trump), The Swamp Drainer (Kellyanne Conway), The Supreme Sexist (Barbara Res), Poster Boy for Narcissism (Dr. Cιsar Chelala), Putin's Puppet (Hillary Clinton), Putin's Poppet (Michael R. Burch), Comrade Trumputin (Michael R. Burch), Unhinged Self-Adoring Demagogue (New York Daily News), Wall Choke Artist (Hillary Clinton), Sweaty Upper Lip Sniffer (Ron Fournier), Master of Disaster (CNN), Dangerously Paranoid Child Brain (Chauncey Devaga), The Nasty Woman(izer), The Fearful Earful, The Mad Hombre, Hillary's Punching Bag, Humpty Trumpty

Humpty Trumpty called for a wall.
Humpty Trumpty had a great fall.
Then all the Grand Wizards and Faux PR men
couldn't put Trumpty together again.
—Michael R. Burch

Oldies but Goodies: Financially Embattled Thousandaire (Gail Collins), Angry Creamsicle (Stephen Colbert), Orange Julius, Captain Chaos

Other new and rising nicknames: Racist Clementine, Under-Endowed Dick Tater, Double Downer, Rabble Rouser, Republican Rapture Inducer, Thin-Skinned Crybaby, Toxic Fungi (Charles M. Blow)

Republicans sowed intolerance and in its shadow, Trump sprang up like toxic fungi.―Charles M. Blow

Rising after the second debate and Trump's "groping pussy" revelation: Bushman, Bushmaster, Bush Baby Fingers, Boldfinger, Creep Throat, Inside Scoop, Octopussy, Snatch Snatcher, Snatch Snitch, Frisky Frisker, Full Frontal Assault, Pussy Posse, Der Groepenfuehrer, Jack the Gripper, Great White Grope Dope, Serial Feeler, Twat Twit, Alpha Molester, Demander-in-Chief, A$$aulter-in-Chief, Sexual-Predator-in-Chief and Groper-in-Chief

Also rising: Tic-Tac-Dough, Tic-Tac Attack, Rikki Tikki Tacky and Ticky-Tacky Trump ...

Take a Tic Tac and grab them by the pussy is the closest thing to a "plan" Donald Trump has described this entire election!―Samantha Bee

Also rising, after Trump threatened the viability of the Republican Party: Party Pooper, Ryan's Nope, The Suicide Bomber, The Egoistic Assassin, Blitzkrieg Bozo, Liberals' Best Friend

Kellyanne Conway Nicknames

Wrongway Conway — Michael R. Burch
Conway Twit — Michael R. Burch, pun on Conway Twitty 
Conway Twitter — Michael R. Burch, pun on Conway Twitty
Nutter Consigliere — Jim Newell
The Mercenary — Jim Newell
Vichy — Stephen Romanenghi
Birther Diverter — Michael R. Burch
Yet Another Unpaid Trump Contractor — Michael R. Burch

Melania Trump Nicknames

Slovenian Sphinx — Maureen Dowd
Pussy Bow — because she wore a "pussy bow" to the St. Louis debate, after her husband's comments about groping "pussy" went viral
Double Agent — Christen Clifford, suggesting that the "pussy bow" was a feminist rebuke of her husband's pussy groping
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife — Andrι Leon Talley

Other Trump Family and Associate Nicknames

Ivanka Trump Nicknames: Ivanka Wanker, Ivanka Spanker, Proxy Wife, Nordic Goddess, Norwegian Wood Inducer
Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames: Don, Don Jr., Dunce Jr., Ponyboy, Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Tiffany Trump Nicknames: Tiff, Wild Card
Barron Trump Nicknames: Mini-Donald, Little Donald
Eric Trump Nicknames: Eric the Red, Eric of Orange, Alt-Right, Mr. Roboto
Nickname Given to Donald Trump by Eric Trump: Humble Trump
Trump Family Nicknames: Children of the Corn, The Stepfordians, Poor Little Rich Kids
Mike Pence Nicknames: Hoosier, Cuddles, Sixpence None the Retcher, Silver Faux Fox
Chris Christie Nicknames: The Cookie Monster, The Kooky Cookie Monster, The Illsbury Dough Boy

All Donald Trump Nicknames A-Z in Roughly Alphabetical Order, with Our Favorites in Bold

70-Year-Old Toddler — Charles M. Blow and Samantha Bee
Agent Orange — Anonymous
Alpha Molester — Michael R. Burch (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
America's Black Mole — John Oliver
America's Burst Appendix — Samantha Bee
Amnesty Don — Joe Scarborough (after Trump said that he was "softening" his stance on illegal immigrants)
The Angry Cheeto
Angry Creamsicle — Stephen Colbert
Antichrist — (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
A$$aulter-in-Chief — Michael R. Burch (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Baby Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch
Bag of Toxic Sludge
Barbecued Brutus
Barbarian at the Debate — Charles M. Blow
Barrel-Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
The Big Cheeto
Big Donald — Marco Rubio (revised to Pig Donald by feminists)
The Bigoted Billionaire
Boiled Ham in a Wig — Jon Stewart
Boldfinger — Michael R. Burch
The Boychurian Candidate  — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "The Manchurian Candidate")
Bribe of Chucky
The Bouffant Buffoon — Michael R. Burch
Bully Boy — Mike Rubio
Bush Baby and Bush Baby Fingers — Michael R. Burch (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Bush Basher
The Bush Beater
Bushman — Michael R. Burch, after Trump bragged about groping bush to Billy Bush of Access Hollywood
Butternut Squash — Trevor Noah
Cancer in a Wig — Trevor Noah
Captain Bluster
Captain Chaos — NBC News
Captain Crunch
Captain Outrageous — Michael R. Burch (a pun on Captain Courageous)
Captain Tantastic
The Chaos Candidate — Jeb Bush
Cheddar Boy
Cheez Doodle — Maureen Dowd
Cheez Whiz — John Oliver
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator —
Cheeto Jesus — Rick Wilson
Chicken Donald — Martin O'Malley
Cinnamon Hitler — Trevor Noah
Chickenhawk — Because Trump evaded serving in the Vietnam War, but portrays himself as a war hawk ("the most militaristic person on the planet")
Clown Prince of Politics
Comedy Entrapment — Jon Stewart
The Cowardly Lyin'
Crybaby Prima Donald
Crybaby Trump — Jeff Kanew
Creep Throat — Seth Meyers
Daddy Warbucks
The Daft Draft Dodger
Dainty Donald
Damien Trump
Darth Hater
Darth taxeVader — Michael R. Burch
Decomposing Jack O'Lantern — Jon Stewart
Dehydrated Orange Peel — Libby Inman
Demander-in-Chief — Michael R. Burch
Der Groepenfuehrer
Der Trumpkopf
Diaper Donald — Kevin Cavanaugh
Dingbat Donald
Dire Abby — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "Dear Abby" because Trump frequently tweets relationship advice to other people, but it's usually dire)
The Dick Tater
Dodgy Donald — CrumblingSlowly
The Don
Don the Con
Don Dementia
The Donald — Ivana Trump (she first used the term in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Donald deGonad
Donald the Deadbeat — Dan Rather
Donald Dipshit
Donald Dodo — as in the famously stupid dodo bird
Donald Doom
The Donimator
Donald Drumpf — John Oliver
Donald Duck
Donald Duck Doo-Doo
Donald the Menace
Donald Tax-Duck — John Joseph Ribovich
Don Goner
Donnie Darko
Donny — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey); also his boyhood nickname
Don of Orange
Dr. Strangelove
Duke Nuke 'Em
Dumbo — Grace Taylor
The Dumpster — Pun on Trumpster and the "Dump Trump" slogan
Ego Maniac
The Emperor with no Balls — Graffiti found on naked statues of Trump
The Emperor with no Clothes
Evil — Gloria Reed
Failed Mail-Order Meat Salesman — Ashley Feinberg, sticking a satiric fork in Trump Steaks
Fascist Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley
Feral Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Field Marshall Trump
Financially Embattled Thousandaire — Gail Collins
Flat Top — Trump's boyhood nickname
Flip Flopper
The Fomentor — Trevor Noah
Forrest Trump
Fragile Soul — Ted Cruz
Frisky Frisker — Michael R. Burch (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Frontrunner
Fruit of the Loom — for oddly looming over Hillary Clinton at the second presidential debate
Fuckface von Clownstick — Jon Stewart
The Germinator (Trump hates to shake hands, fearing germs)
Golden Calf of Doom
God — Jay Leno
Godzilla, with Less Foreign Policy Experience — Stephen Colbert
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin
The GOP's Unhinged Front-Runner — Robert Schlesinger, managing editor for opinion at U.S. News & World Report
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — Graydon Carter
Grandpa Fucko — Kyle Bunch
Great Orange Hairball of Fear — Michael R. Burch
Grope Dope
Groper-in-Chief — Nicholas Kristof (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Hair Apparent — pun on Heir Apparent
Hair Furor — pun on Herr Fόhrer
Hair Hitler — pun on Herr Hitler
Head Twit
Herr Fόhrer Trump
Herr Trump
The Human Combover
The Human Corncob — Erin L. Cody
The Human Bullhorn — Jim Newell, in Slate
Human-Toupee Hybrid — Stephen Colbert
Humble — Donald Trump's ironic choice when asked to provide a Secret Service codename
Humble Trump — a nickname given to Donald Trump by his son Eric Trump aka "Eric the Red"
Humble Cow Pie — because he's full of shit about being "humble"
Hurricane Donald ― Jeff Singer
The im-POTUS
Immigrant-Bashing Carnival Barker — TIME Magazine, quoting presidential candidate Martin O'Malley
The ISIS Candidate
Jack the Gripper — Michael R. Burch (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
John Boehner's Tanning Partner in Crime — Michael R. Burch
Kelly's Zero (pun on [Megyn] Kelly's Heroes)
Killer Klown from Outer Space (the title of a "b" movie)
King of Debt
King Leer
King of the Oompa Loompas ― Justin Baragona
King of Sleaze
King of Spin
King of the Whoppers — USA Today, Christmas Day, 2015
King Trump
King Tut — Because his insults make billions of people go "Tut, tut, tut!"
King Twit
K-Mart Caesar
Lady Fingers Trump — Don C. Reed (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Liberal Lip
Little Donnie Sissypants
Little Dutch Boy
Long Dong Trump
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O'Donnell
Machado Meltdown — Hillary Clinton
Man-Baby — Jon Stewart
Mango Mussolini
Master Debater
Meathead — John Joseph Ribovich
Mein Furor — Murfster35 on DailyKos
The Michelangelo of Ballyhoo — TIME by David Von Drehle in his cover article on Trump
Mogul — his Secret Service code name
Moneydiaper McStupid — Nick Musgrave
Mr. Brexit — Donald Trump (perhaps because his political currency is about to be devalued?)
Mr. Firepants
Mr. Inappropriate
Mr. Boinker Oinker
The Man of Steal (made in China) — after Hillary Clinton pointed out that Trump hotels have been built with illegally-imported Chinese steel
Mr. Meticulous — Trump's military academy nickname, given because he folded his underwear into neat squares
Mr. Wiggy Piggy — Because he's such a male chauvinist pig, and that hair!
Narcissistic Human Airhorn — Chris Hardwick
The New Furor — Pun on Fόhrer
New York Pork Dork — Michael R. Burch (because Trump's companies have feasted on government subsidies and tax breaks)
Orange Anus — Rosie O'Donnell
Orangeback Gorilla — After trying to physically intimidate Hillary Clinton in the second presidential debate
Orange Bozo
Orange Caligula — Victoria
Orange Clown
Orange Julius — A pun on the fruit drink chain (emphasis on fruit) and Julius Caesar
Orange Manatee — Stephen Colbert
The Orange Messiah
Orange Slug — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange-Tufted Imbecile Intent on Armageddon — Michael R. Burch
Orange-Tufted A$$hole — Michael R. Burch
Panda Hair — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Pander Hair — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Pile of Old Garbage Covered in Vodka Sauce — Trevor Noah
Pig Donald — a variation of Big Donald, coined by Marco Rubio then adapted by feminists
Political Gutterball — Michael R. Burch
Poor Donald — Hillary Clinton
Poster Child of American Decline — Robert Spencer
POTUS WRECKS — Michael R. Burch
Prima Donald
Puffed Up Daddy
Pussy Posse — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Putin's Gambit — Michael R. Burch
Putin's Pet
Queens' Reich — Trump hails from Queens NY, and sounds like the second coming of the Third Reich
Queer Orangutan
Rabble-Rousing Demagogue — John Cassidy in The New Yorker
Republican Rapture Inducer — Michael R. Burch
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Screaming Carrot Demon — Samantha Bee
Scrooge McTrump
Serial Feeler — pun on "serial killer" (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
The Shambling Sasquatch — Michael R. Burch (after Trump shambled and lurched around the stage in the second presidential debate, as lampooned by SNL)
Silver Spoon Donald — Don C. Reed
Snake Oil Salesman — Rosie O'Donnell
Sniffles — After the Donald sniffled like a cocaine addict during the second presidential debate
Sociopathic 70-Year-Old Toddler — Samantha Bee
The Sophomoric Sniveler — Charles M. Blow
The Spin King
The Spinster and The Sinister Spinster — Michael R. Burch
Stubby Baby Fingers Trump — Michael R. Burch
Stuporman — Since Trump's superpower is putting people to sleep and making them dream that he has magical superpowers
The Talking Yam
Tangerine Tornado — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
The Teflon Don — Michael R. Burch
TelePrompTer Trump — Mark Sumner
Thin Skinned Orange Peel
Terroristic Man-Toddler — Charles M. Blow
Tic-Tac-Dough — Michael R. Burch
Tic-Tacky Trump
Timid Trumpster
The Tiny Fisted Emperor — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Tiny Hands Trump
Tricky Trump
Tricky Don Trump — After Tricky Dick Nixon
Trumparius — Nate Silver, from "The Age of Trumparius"
Trump Card
The Trumpet — Trump's boyhood nickname
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Trumpdozer — TIME Magazine
Trumpelthinskin — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Trumpenstein — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Trumpinator — Soopermexican
Trumpling Dildo
Trumpocalypse — Markos Moulitsas on Daily Kos
Trumptastrophe — Chris McKay
Trump the Grump
The Tufted Taliban
Twat Twit — Michael R. Burch (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Twitter-Drunk Donald — a Bush aide
Twitter Flitter
Twitter Spitter
The Twitter Terror — Michael R. Burch
Two-Bit Caesar — Bill Kristol
Two Pump Trump — Troy Ramos
UNA (Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole) — Jon Stewart
The UNA Bomber
"The uniquely underqualified and overblown king of bragging and whining" — The New York Times
Unreality King
Vanilla Isis — Pun on Vanilla Ice
Venom-Drenched Regurgitated Slimy Orange Hairball — Michael R. Burch
Vet Evictor —  For staging a benefit for veterans after trying to sweep disabled vets from New York City streets for more than a decade
Voldemort ― Rosie O'Donnell
Walking Punchline
Walking Talking Human Combover — Michael R. Burch
Weak Donald — Trevor Noah
The Wedgie from West Palm — Kyle Bunch
Whiny Don
Whiny Donald
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
The Winning Whiner — Donald J. Trump explained how he "wins" by whining in an interview
World's Greatest Troll — FiveThirtyEight Politics
Xenophobic Sweet Potato Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
YUGE Asshole
Zen Master of Hate

Other Nicknames

Sarah Palin Nicknames: Sarah Barracuda (her high school nickname), Sarahcudda, Caribou Barbie, Half-Baked Alaskan, Moose-o-lini, Weepin' 'n' Wailin' Sarah Palin, The Wasilla Gorilla or Gurlilla or Gurlzilla, The Roughed Rogue, The Original Material Girl (because she provides Stephen Colbert so much comedy materiel), Klondike Kardashian, Klondike Dike, Blunder Woman, Sarah Stoopid, Bible Spice, Whore of Babble-On, Boor of Babble-On, The Wasilla Hillbilly, The Wasillabilly, The Tundra Twit, Sarah Failin', Failin' Palin, Bailin' Palin, Half-Governor, The Moosiah Pit Bull in Lipstick (according to herself), Ramboner, Rambette, Trumpette, Saint Sarah of Wasilla, Sarah Pipeline, Sarah Punchline, Vampy, The Killa from Wasilla, The Quitter from Wasilla, Money Boo-Boo, Sarah Shakes-Spear (because she is so warlike and compared herself to Shakespeare when she coined a new word, "refudiate"), Sarah Crosshairs, Sarah Triggerfinger, Mama Grizzly, Palin-Drone, Chick Cheney, Sarah Stalin, Snark Shark, Moose MILF, The Alaska Disasta, Snowjob Squareglasses, Post Turtle, McCain's Bane, FrankenPalin, Northern Overexposure, Nightmayor, Miss Iquitarod, Irate Ingrate, Miss Wonker Bonker, Sarah Scareya, Lady Gagya, Sarah Sarin, Tri-Sarah-Tops, Sarah Snowgrifter, Sarah Snowjob

Ann Coulter Nicknames: AnnThrax, Ann the Man, Coultergeist, Beltway Barbie, Cuckoo Coulter, Tranny Annie, Goebbels with tits, Rush Limbette, Mann Coulter, Chairman Ann, Ann Coltrear, Ann Cunter, That Conservative Female Douche, Jew Perfecter, Man-Hands, Banshee, Wicked Witch of the West, Ann Hitler, Uber Bitchette, I-don't-care-about-the-Jews Barbie, Psycho-bitch, Just plain stupid, Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to want to be sure)

Joe Arpaio Nicknames: Wyatt Twerp, Boss Hogg, Big Pig, The Maricopa Madman, Captain James Tiberius Jerk, Colonel Klink, Officer Loco, Wiley E. Peyote, Lawrence of Insania, Tonto, Prickzilla Queen of the Desert

Jeb Bush Nicknames: Tortoise (given to him by his brother, George W. Bush), Low Energy (Donald Trump), Zero Energy (a Trump supporter), Everyready (Jeb's retort to Trump when asked to pick his Secret Service code name), Veto Corleone, The Bushmaster, Bush League, Jeb, Jebbie, Gator

Chris Christie Nicknames: Christie Kreme, The Illsbury Dough-Boy, Cookie Monster, Big Boy (George W. Bush), Pork Chop, Pork Dork, Porky Pine, Porko Vallarta, Don Qui-Hefty, Enormes Pantalones, Boca Rotund, Dios Meatball, Cinco De Mayonnaise, Lap-Bandito, Chiportly, Gringo Con Carne, Dos Neckis, The Love Gov, Pufferfish, Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

Ben Carson Nicknames: Crazy Ben Carson, Eli (his Secret Service code name), One Nation (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Dummy (his nickname as a child)

Carly Fiorina Nicknames: Chainsaw Carly (for all the jobs she cut at HP and Compaq), Golden Parachutress (she got $21 million after cutting other people's jobs), The Anti-Hillary, Secretariat (her choice for a Secret Service code name)

Mike Huckabee Nicknames: Huckster, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Upchuck, Huck Fuckabee, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike, Triple Wide, Duck Hunter (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

John Kasich Nicknames: Pope (he wanted to be the pope as a boy), Unit One (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Unit Two (his wife's alternate suggestion!)

Mitch McConnell Nicknames: Fuckface McTurtlebitch, The Turtle, Dick Turtle, Mitch the Snitch, Mitch the Bitch, Mitch the Snitch-Bitch, Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)

Rand Paul Nicknames: Mr. Nerdy Perm, Mr. Poodle-'Do, Justice Never Sleeps (his choice for a Secret Service code name; he later called it "one of those nicknames you try to make happen and miserably fail")

Paul Ryan: Lyin' Ryan, Lyin' Paul Ryan, Small-Ball Ryan

Scott Walker Nicknames: The Desperado (in his high school yearbook), Niedermeyer (after an overly aggressive ROTC leader in the movie Animal House), Scott Balker, Harley (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

Ted Cruz Nicknames

Teddy Bare (see the picture immediately above)
Ted Scruz (after allegations that the "devout Christian family man" had affairs with five women, including a prostitute)
Felito (his full name is Rafael Edward Cruz and Felito means "little Rafael")
Fidelo (Cruz's father supported Fidel Castro and the communists who took over Cuba)
Little Fidelo (ditto)
Castro's Revenge (ditto)
The Cruz Controller and Mr. Cruz Control
Mr. Cruz Missile (because he promised to carpet bomb the Middle East with nukes to see if the sands will "glow" at night)
Duke Nukem (ditto), Dr. Strangelove (ditto), The Mad Carpet Bomber (ditto) and The Dune-a-Bomber (ditto)
The Fireman (after he told little Julie Trant, a three-year-old, that her world was "on fire")
Mr. Pants-on-Fire (ditto), Mr. Firepants (ditto), The Human Torch (ditto), Calgary Flamepants (after the Calgary Flames hockey team; Cruz was born in Calgary, Canada),

Honorable Mention:  Stinky (due to reports of body odor issues), Pepι le Pew (pun on body order and a church pew), Booger, Cudchewer Cruz, Chewbacca, Ted Carnival Cruz and the Creep Cruzettes, Calgary Cruz, Wacko Bird (John McCain), Proud Wacko Bird (Ted Cruz), Creature from the Black Lagoon, Pall Bearer (due to his uncanny resemblance to Paul Bearer, the funeral parlor manager of pro wrestling's Undertaker), The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (after George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann), Revenge of the Nerd, El Presidente, Dirty Syrup Gulper (Jon Stewart), McCarthy Jr. (he even looks like Joe McCarthy), Cohiba (a brand of Cuban cigars was Cruz's choice for his Secret Service code name), Holy Cruzader, Tricky Ted Cruz (after Tricky Dick Nixon), The Cruzinator, Ted "Smug Mug" Cruz, Lyin' Ted (Donald Trump), Tailgunner Ted Cruz, Boozin' Ted, The Cuban Mistress Crisis (after allegations that he had affairs with at least five women, including a hooker), Boozin' 'n' Oozin' Cruz, LustTED (a pun on TrustTED), Oinker Boinker, Randy Ted, Casanova Cruz, Pervy Ted Cruz, Cootie Cruz, Rato, Obstructer in Chief

Marco Rubio Nicknames

Top Ten Marco Rubio Nicknames

Marco Starko (see the picture immediately above)
Marco "Dough Boy" Rubio (because he's now a bit chubby and rakes in tons of Republican establishment dough)
No-Show Rubio (*)
AWOL (ditto) and Absent and Unaccounted For (ditto)
The Absentee Ban-Lord (ditto)
Rube and Young Rube
Water Boy
Lightweight Choker and Little Marco (Donald Trump)
Captain Thirsty and Captain Thirstypants
Rubio the Unready

Honorable Mention: Marco Poll-Low, Gator (his choice for a Secret Service code name; oddly this is what George W. Bush called Jeb Bush; how unoriginal!), Marco Mussolini, The Cuban Cherub, The Chubby Cherub, Marco "Weak as a Baby" Rubio (Donald Trump), Narko, Snarko, Sharko, Marco Sharknado, Easy Mark (Donald Trump), Marco "Come On In" Rubio (Donald Trump), The Michael Jordan of Republican Politics (I dunno, this seems like a streeeeetch to me!), Cuban Rube, Young Rube, Qubics Rube, Rolly-Polly Rube, The Chameleon (because he changes political colors so often), The ConSWERVEative (ditto), Mr. Foamy (because he allegedly attended foam parties at gay bars), Stud Muffin (because he was studly but put on weight), Mr. Sound Bite, Mr. Talking Point, Broken Record Rubio, Robot Rubio, Mr. Roboto, Marco Android, The Fox (because he's shifty like a fox, and Fox News obviously favors him as does the Republican establishment and its money), Rupert's Rube (ditto), Party Boy (ditto), Play Dough Boy (ditto)

(*) On an appearance on the NBC’s Today Show, the ever-earnest "No-Show" Marco Rubio said: “No, in fact the majority of the job of being a senator is not walking on to the Senate floor and lifting your finger on a noncontroversial issue and seeing which way you’re going to vote…the majority of the work of a senator is the constituent service to committee work, that continues forward unabated.” But as The Huffington Post pointed out: “Rubio’s point about committee work is a bit odd given his absence from the Senate Foreign Relations full committee and subcommittee on which he serves. According to a Politico review of his record from 2011 to 2014, Rubio missed 52 of 106 hearings on both panels.”

Marco Rubio is not the most conventional conservative alpha male dresser, perhaps. I don't claim to have "gaydar," but really! Do conservative alpha males dress like Marco Rubio? To me the entire metrosexual ensemble screams "gay," from the high-heeled boots to the preppy blue blazer. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, or being gay and running for president, or even being a snazzy if somewhat effete dresser, but doing "all the above" on an anti-gay platform seems positively weird! Keep the gay wardrobe, Marco Rubio, if it suits you, but please drop the anti-gay agenda! You're not fooling anyone, not even us straight arrows, with that outfit!

Marco Rubio was arrested in a Miami park know for gay activity, with a roommate who produced gay porn! On Wednesday, May 23, 1990—five days before Rubio's 19th birthday—a police officer was dispatched to Alice C. Wainwright Park, according to a Miami police report. The park was known for prostitution (gay and straight), drugs and drinking. A full account of what led to Rubio's arrest is not available because the court file has been destroyed, according to Miami-Dade County court clerk's records. According to the police report, Rubio and two other teenagers were arrested. One of them, Angel Barrios, owns several coin-operated laundries in the Miami area. The City of Miami later filed to enjoin Angel Barrios from using his residential property to distribute gay porn. In the case of the City of Miami v. Angela Barrios, Regla Barrios and Barrios Investment Group, "Angel Barrios, et al" were instructed to "cease operations" of a business that "produced pornography for distribution over the internet." The case was abated as a result of a federal lawsuit filed by the owner, Barrios, and his tenant, Flava Works. The City prevailed. Angel Barrios has a LinkedIn profile which lists his coin-operated laundries and the Barrios Investment Group enjoined from distributing porn. is still operational online and is quite clearly a gay porn website. Rubio dedicated an intimate senior yearbook quote to Mr. Barrios and the two shared a townhouse together after graduating from high school. So, in 1990, Marco Rubio was arrested by the police in a parked car, in a dark and secluded park with a reputation as a gay cruising spot, with a young man whom he lived with after high school, and who went on to be involved with a gay pornography studio. What does it add up to? Perhaps nothing provable. But it certainly raises interesting questions.

Donald Trump Follower Nicknames

Hemorrhoidal Has-Beens — Samantha Bee
The Branch Trumpidians
The StormTrumpers
Trump Chumps
The Motley Crew
The Chosen Eew!

Related pages: The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Insults, 2016 Republican First Presidential Debate: Winners, Losers and Impressions, Is there a Republican War on Women?, The Donald Trump Bible or The Gospel According to Trump, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Quotes, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Donald Trump in his Own Words: Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies

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