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Donald Trump Nursery Rhymes
Donald Trump Nonsense Verse

These are nursery rhymes that I have written for and dedicated to Donald J. Trump, the world's biggest Man-Baby, albeit with the smallest hands and the tiniest, daintiest baby fingers! Hopefully American adults will put him in permanent time-out after the 2020 election.

You are welcome to share my Trump poems for noncommercial purposes, but please credit me as the author.—Michael R. Burch



Humpty Trumpty called for a wall.
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Now all the Grand Wizards and Faux PR men
Can never put Trumpty together again.
―Michael R. Burch



Roses are red,
Daffodils are yellow,
But not half as daffy
As that taffy-colored fellow!
―Michael R. Burch



Corona, Corona,
where have you been?
"Off to the White House,
to swing with the King!"

Corona, Corona,
what happened there?
"Trump gave me license
 to kill everywhere!"

Corona, Corona,
say, did you infect him?
"Oh no, he's like me!
I love and respect him!

My best friend, The Donald,
will do me no harm
 for Trump is Corona
in semi-human form!"
―Michael R. Burch



Quite Con-trary
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
fat, balding and lumpy,
how does your Rose Garden grow?
"With venom and spleen
and everything mean,
and my gasket about to blow!"

Trumpy, Trumpy,
obese and dumpy,
why are your polls so low?
"I claimed I was Cyrus
at war with a virus
but lost every time to the minuscule foe!"



The Final Episode of Celebrity Apprentice President
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Ronald McDonald
said to The Donald,
"Just between us clowns, your polls are too low!"
So The Donald thought hard
then said to his pard,
"It's because I'm a martyr. The world must know!"
Thus Eric Trump jumped
from his obese Trump rump
to declare the virus a "hoax." (End of show.)



Twinkle Wrinkles
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Twinkle, twinkle, little "star" ...
Trump, how we wished you blazed                 afar!

Twinkle, twinkle, Groper-Cupid ...
How we've wished you weren't so stupid!

Twinkle, twinkle, Man-Baby "president" ...
In truth you're just the White House resident.



Donald, Donald, quite disgruntled,
How does covfefe grow?
With racist bells and nuclear hells
And pretty maids groped in a row.
―Michael R. Burch



Five little flunkies jumping on the bed.
One fell off, and the other four fled.
So the Feds called Robert Mueller and the Prosecutor said,
“No more treasonous flunkies jumping on the bed!”
―Michael R. Burch



Sing a song of sick Pence
who says the meek must die
to make his Master richer
by Trumping the little guy.
―Michael R. Burch



Bye, man-baby bunting―
Darth Bannon's gone a-hunting;
He's gone to find a lizard skin
To wrap man-baby Donnie in!
―Michael R. Burch



Hush-a-bye, baby,
Mad as Cyclops.
When hot air blows,
The Nazis will rock.
When tweets hit the fan,
The White House will fall ...
Then down comes The Donald,
Ivanka and all.
―Michael R. Burch



Hush, little Man-Baby, don't you cry!
Darth Bannon's gonna sing you a lullaby.
And if that lullaby don't work,
Vlad Putin's gonna give you a Russian perk.
And if that Russian perk's too small,
The KKK'll build you a beer-house hall.
And if that beer-house hall's too tame,
Paul Ryan's gonna find sick people to lame.
And if those sicklings weaken and die,
What the hell do you care? Your hair is so fly!
―Michael R. Burch



Is Trump the ANTICHRIST? When the Hebrew prophets spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)



There once was a candidate, Trump,
whose message rang clear at the stump:
"Vote for me, wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!,
because I am ME,
and everyone else is a chump!"
―Michael R. Burch



Trump Rhymes
by Michael R. Burch

Trump rhymes with “chump” and “garbage dump”
Trump rhymes with “yuge, not pleasingly plump”
Trump rhymes with “my mouth is like a sump pump
pumping diarrheic pooh from my diaper-clad rump”



Hey diddle diddle,
The fat cat fiddled―
Like Nero, beneath a full moon.
Mr. Putin laughed to see such sport,
And the Donald sucked his golden spoon.
―Michael R. Burch



Little Don Horn-her
Crouched in the corner,
Eyeing each groin passing by.
He plunged in his thumb
In search of a plum,
Then bragged, "I can grope 'cause I'm fly!"
―Michael R. Burch



Old Hickory, dick-ery, dirk,
Reviving the Klan is hard work!
One rat ran down
To assume its crown.
Old Hickory, dick-ery, dirk.
―Michael R. Burch



Little Don Duffer,
a huffer and puffer,
sat waiting for con games to play.
Along came a Russian
With moneybags gushin'
Who said, "Don, I'm ready to pay!"
―Michael R. Burch



Hush little baby don’t say a word,
Trump’s gonna sell ya a mockingbird.
And when that mockingbird don’t sing,
Trump’s gonna steal your ma's wedding ring.
And once that wedding ring's his, at last,
Trump’s gonna show you his big fat ass.
And if that big fat ass goes broke,
Trump’s gonna blame some poor scapegoat.
And if that poor scapegoat just won’t pull,
Trumps’s gonna feed ya some other bull.
And if that bullshit all falls down,
You’ll still be the poorest non-Trump in town!
―Michael R. Burch



Baa baa black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, sir; yes, sir―
Three bags full.
One for the Donald,
One for his Dame,
And one for White Supremacists
Who live on Apartheid Lane.
―Michael R. Burch



I know, it seems outrageous,
But it’s getting a lot of attention
On some very respectable Web pages —
Which mainstream media won’t mention:
Donald Trump was not born in Queens,
He was born in the Philippines,
In a hotel in downtown Manila.
Where his hair turned bright vanilla
Due to vitamin deficiencies.
―Garrison Keillor



15 Seconds
by Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Our president’s sex life—atrocious!
His "briefings"—bizarre hocus-pocus!
Politics—a shell game!
My brief moment of fame
flashed by before Oprah could notice!

Related pages: The Best Donald Trump Jokes, The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Limericks, The Best Donald Trump Insults, 2016 Republican First Presidential Debate, Is there a Republican War on Women?, The Donald Trump Bible, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, Donald Trump Nicknames, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Donald Trump's "Muslim Friends", Where Have All the Birthers Gone?, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, Ted Cruz Nicknames, Is Ted Cruz an Anchor Baby?, More Donald Trump Jokes, Is Donald Trump a Fascist?, Donald Trump Trivia, Donald Trump's War on Women, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Poetry

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