Donald Trump: Curtsey or Bow?
Was it a submissive curtsey or an obsequious bow? Is the proper spelling "curtsey" or "curtsy"? Or did Trump invent a new move that is half-bow, half-curtsy/curtsey ... the burtsy/burtsey/bowsey? The Internet debate rages on ...
And why did Melania slap away one of the Serial Groper's tentacles, on an airport runway in Tel-Aviv, Israel?
New Trump Nicknames: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, The Ginger Genuflector, President Quasi-Dodo and The Hunchback of Notre Shame.
Did Trump curtsey submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad? Yes, the Big Dipper dropped a pretty little dip, while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" But a meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow. So let's add The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Donald Trump Nicknames.
Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea."
Stone has a right to be livid, since Trump had told his staff before deplaning Air Force One: "I catch one American bowing here and you're on the next flight home!"
But was it a bow, a curtsey, or some sort of hybrid? One Tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a sparkly princess!"
Another Twitter user noted: "Unlike Obama, Trump refuses to debase himself by bowing before a king. Diplomat that he is, Trump deftly opts instead for a half-curtsy!"
Another Tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!"
In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies."
Another tweet: "For all those that were apoplectic over Obama's bow, I present the Trump curtsy."
Someone opined that Docile Donald must have watched reruns of Shirley Temple while practicing his curtsies.
Another Tweeter insisted instead that Melania had taught her husband his "little teapot" moves!
But was it really a curtsey? During the debate, Michael Moore tweeted: "It still looks like a curtsy to me."
John Aravosis agreed, tweeting that Trump would "make America curtsy again."
But another Tweeter disagreed, opining that Trump's awkward genuflection was "alternative bowing."
Someone else suggested that Trump had resorted to a "kneel and bob" move.
Another opinion was that Trump's "manboobs and saggy ass" made it difficult from him to keep his balance .
Another possibility is that Trump has a dowager's hump, which he normally keeps concealed unless he bends too far over.
Or perhaps Trump genuflected to demonstrate his superior curtsying ability: "Who's a pretty princess now bitches!!!"
Or did Trump misinterpret Acting President Bannon's order to show the Saudi king proper "courtesy"? Trump is known, after all, to have a very limited vocabulary!
Unfortunately, Trump over-did his act of genuflection and inadvertently made America grovel again.
It seems the Trump motto is: "Will bow for gold baubles, blowhard, or bend over and take it up the a$$."
In any case, the awkwardness of the bow/curtsey (or whatever it was) is surely grounds for impeachment!
However, there was considerable confusion: was the correct hashtag #TrumpCurtsy or #TrumpCurtsey with an "e"? Well, the "e" seems a bit more feminine to us, so we are voting for "curtsey" as befitting Her Royal Highness Princess Prima Donna.
Later, to add insult to Trump's injured ego, Melania flicked away one the Serial Groper's tentacles on a runway in Tel-Aviv, Israel. Does her "slap heard 'round the world" mean that Melania has finally joined the Resistance, or will she continue to stand by her Man-Baby? In the hope that she has joined the Loyal Resistance, we are pleased to officially promote Melania from the Trump Sitter to the Trump Swatter. If Trump is the Terminator, Melania is now his TerminEX. Will she star as a real-life Black Widow, sucking the life-juice from her mate, in a gruesome new form of reality TV? Well, if so, it can't be any worse than the current Trump-produced Celebrity Apprentice President!
Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government? A: Coup d'Tot.
Tiny Hands Trump uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest dictatorial proclamations. The women pictured are nannies who are trying to persuade the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but Man-Baby Trump will have none of that! Delinquent Donald believes in ACTION, but fortunately his fingers are still too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes ...
Trump's nannies applaud as the Terrible Tyke learns to operate a pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train his mouth!
There's a new reality show about the Trump presidency: The Boss Baby. Now showing at a theater near you!
Trump tweeted that Obama put a "tapp" on his phones. I think the Testy Toddler needs a ppat on the back and a good burpp, then a nice long napp.―Michael R. Burch
The Constitution does not allow 13-year-olds to become president and now we can see why. — Garrison Keillor, who calls Trump the "boy president"
Trump supporters voted for change, and boy, are they going to get it! — Garrison Keillor
When Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper was asked about the firing of James Comey, he shrugged his shoulders and burbled, "Easy comey, easy goey!"―Michael R. Burch
Did Trump avoid shaking hands with German strongwoman Angela Merkel because she would have crushed his delicate, pixie-like fingers?
Trump is coming out with a sequel to his book The Art of the Deal. His new book will be titled The Art of the Squeal. Turns out he's not a master dealmaker, after all, just a whiny brat.
However it turns out that those tiny little baby fingers can do a lot of damage, after all. Trump launched cruise missiles at Syria, after years of blasting Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton for the "stupidity" and "short-sightedness" of their "interventionism" (when it was a Republican president who started both wars). Trump must not read or pay any attention to his own tweets: "President Obama, do not attack Syria. There is no upside and tremendous downside!"
Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Ralph Lauren of Arabia makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, cheats at golf, brags about his "accomplishments" (i.e., abject failures), and campaigns for reelection.
We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jared "Jarhead" Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our soldiers! There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie). Little Lord Fauntleroy will also star in The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Only to Whine about the K-Rations.
Jared Kushner nicknames: Vanilla ISIS, Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump), Putin's Cush-Toy, Cushy Kushner, Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL), Poor Little Rich Bitch, Little Jared (Ana Navarro), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Nerd Boy, Lucifer Incarnate, Jarhead, Jughead, Jared "the Red" Kushner, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, The Shadow, Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos), The Preppie Neo-Con
The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames, by Category
(10) Putin's Puppet, Putin's Bitch, Putin's Lapdog, Putin's C*ck-Holster (Stephen Colbert), Putin's Useful Idiot, Comrade Trumputin, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, The Russian Mole
(9) Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator, Screaming Cheeto, Cheeto Benito, Cheez Whiz, Mango Mussolini, Cinnamon Hitler, Candied Yam, Angry Creamsicle, Fanta Ranter, Trumpster Fire, Orange Julius, Orange Foolius
(8) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — Rosie O'Donnell
(7) Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin (who was NOT trying to be funny)
(6) Fuckface von Clownstick, Man-Baby, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole — Jon Stewart
(5) The White Kanye ― Bill Maher (or perhaps the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(4) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — Graydon Carter (a nickname Trump hates because he seems to think it implies that he is under-endowed "down there")
Tiny Hands Trump, Babyfingers Trump, Pixie Fingers Trump, The Tiny-Handed Tyrant, Stumpy, Chubby Nubby, Short-Fingered Totalitarian — nicknames inspired by Graydon Carter's nickname above
(3) Agent Orange — Anonymous
(2) The Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(1) Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets — when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
What the Heck: Make It the Top Twenty-Five Donald Trump Nicknames, by Category
Prima Donald and Prima Donna
Mr. Wiggy Piggy and Wiggly Piggly
Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher), The Hypocritic Oaf (Michael R. Burch), Quasi-Dodo (Michael R. Burch), The Hunchback of Notre Shame (Michael R. Burch)
Orange-Vanilla ISIS, Duke Nuke 'Em, Dr. Strangelove, The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (after George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
King of the Whoppers, Liar-in-Chief, The Lyin' King (pun on "Lion King"), Conman-in-Chief, Don the Con
Birther Boy, Man-Baby, Man-Toddler, Bratman, Boss Baby, the Terrible Tyke, the Combover Kid
Tangerine Tornado and Donny (another nickname Trump allegedly hates) — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Porky Pig and New York Pork Dork (because Trump and his companies have taken so much "pork" from federal, state and local governments)
A$$aulter-in-Chief, Hair Groepenfuehrer, Donald DeGonad, Jack the Gripper and Serial Feeler — see Donald Trump's War on Women
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
Hair Hitler and Hair Furor (puns on Herr Hitler and Herr Fuhrer)
The New Furor, Trumpen Furor, Mein Furor, Mein Trumpf, Mein Hair, Shitler, Twittler, Adolph Twitler, Drumpfkoff, Cinnamon Hitler, Ginger Hitler, Der Pumpkinfurher, The Apprentice Führer (Ben Judah), Mango Mussolini, Casino Mussolini (Samantha Bee), Mussolini's Taint, Hairman Mao, Tsar Trumpov, Dear Leader, Genghis Can't (Michael R. Burch), The Orange Oligarch
Chicken Donald and Fascist Carnival Barker (Martin O'Malley)
Darth Hater, Forrest Trump, Painman, Donnie Darko, Donnie Dorko and Damien Trump (after the Antichrist figure in the Omen movies)
The Beast, Little Horn, and The Great Whore of Babble-On — God and the Hebrew prophets (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
Honorable Mention: The Swamp Stocker, Whiny Little Bitch (Bill Maher), The Fomentor (Trevor Noah), Humpty Trumpty, The White Pride Piper, Big Donald (coined by Marco Rubio), Pig Donald (a variation coined by feminists), The Presumptuous Nominee (Hillary Clinton), Job Security (Jimmy Kimmel), Tangerine Palpatine, Daddy Warbucks, Tweety, Twat Twit, Boss Tweet, Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Trumpenstein, Stuporman, Dumb Corleone, Puffed Up Daddy, Commander-in-Grief, Gossamer-Skinned Bully (Graydon Carter), Orange-Tufted Taliban, Dead Wombat Toupée, The Loan Deranger, The Tie-Coon, The White Pride Piper, The Orange Mephistopheles, Commander-in-Tweet, Tweet-l-dumb, The Gold Man Sucks President, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Putty, Putin's Proxy, Putin's Pampered Poodle, Angry Cheeto, Cheeto Bandito, Cheeto Voldemort, Cheeto von Tweeto, Cheeto-Faced Shit-Gibbon, Cheeto Jesus, Cheez-It-in-Chief, Frito Lay, Talking Yam, Angry Pumpkin, Orangutan, The Ginger Genuflector (Michael R. Burch), Sparkly Princess Trumpelina (Michael R. Burch)
A number of Trump nicknames are related to fascism, such as "Hair Hitler" (a pun on Herr Hitler) and The New Furor (a pun on Führer). Are such accusations warranted? Well, Hair Hitler talking about Muslims does sound a lot like Herr Hitler talking about Jews. Here's what one prominent American Jew said on the subject. Abe Foxman, former National Director of the Anti-Defamation League, says that Republican presidential front-runner Donald Trump urged supporters at a Florida rally to raise their arms in a Nazi salute to him. "As a Jew who survived the Holocaust, to see an audience of thousands of people raising their hands in what looks like the ‘Heil Hitler’ salute is about as offensive, obnoxious and disgusting as anything I thought I would ever witness in the United States of America," Foxman told The Times of Israel. Will Donald Trump create an American Holocaust by deporting millions of people, including multitudes of completely innocent children and their mothers? Is Trump the second coming of Adolph Hitler? Yes, nicknames like Hair Hitler, Hair Furor, Hair Gropenfuhrer and Twittler are amusing, but are they also accurate, and perhaps prophetic?
Currently rising: THE LOOSE-LIPPED SHIP SINKER after Trumputinski blabbed away top-secret information to his Russian controllers, threatening not only to sink the American ship of state, but also endangering our allies who will now be far less willing to share critical intelligence with us. And who can blame them? With the Orange-Tufted Russian Mole running the show, the acronym CIA now stands for Central Ignorance Agency. The Boston Globe announced that the ally betrayed was Israel. Perhaps the ancient prophets knew whereof they spoke, when they predicted that a "little horn" would pretend to bring peace, only to betray Israel in the end. A trump is a "little horn." Is the Trump of Doom summoning the Apocalypse? Have the very elect been deceived, since 80% of evangelical Christian voters supported Triple-Six Trump, according to exit polls? Israeli intelligence officials are said to be "boiling mad" and to consider this to be their "worst fears confirmed" about Comrade Trumputin. Trump is obsessed with leaks, but he is the Big Leak. So far his administration's only defense has been to claim that Tyrant Trump is too oblivious to be accused of obstructing justice! He simply doesn't know what justice is, or how government works! But he can still be trusted with the nuclear codes!
"We don't rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." — Eric "the Red" Trump, explaining a $100 million line of credit to golf writer James Dodson
The Kremlin's top-secret plan for Putin to control Trump is code-named Operation Taming of the Orange Shrew.
Emma Lazarus called Lady Liberty the "Mother of Exiles." Terminator Trump has turned her into the "Smotherer of Exiles." — Michael R. Burch
Why did Al Franken call Trump Comedy Gold? Because he knows a political joke when he hears one. — Michael R. Burch
How did a Candied Yam become president? Like Popeye, Trump says, "I yam what I yam!" But unlike Trump, Popeye didn't have a God complex.
Related pages: Donald Trump Nicknames, The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Insults, 2016 Republican First Presidential Debate: Winners, Losers and Impressions, Is there a Republican War on Women?, The Donald Trump Bible or The Gospel According to Trump, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Quotes, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Donald Trump in his Own Words: Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Nicknames for his Cabinet, Family, Friends, Associates and Supporters, Donald Trump Inauguration Poetry
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