Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames
Vanessa Trump Nicknames
This page contains the best Donald J. Trump Jr. and Vanessa Trump nicknames,
quotes, jokes and anecdotes that I have been able to find.
Donald Trump Jr. nicknames have been coined by his classmates, Alec Baldwin, Stephen Colbert,
Allan Ishac, Bill Maher, Robert De Niro on SNL, Trevor Noah, People Magazine,
Donald Trump Sr., White House insiders, and Michael Wolff.
White House insiders call the president Don Corleone
and Dumb Corleone due to his mob boss mentality. That means
son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting
himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one).
Ivanka is obviously the Gaud Father's favorite. But if
Donald Dunce Junior is Fredo, where does this name game leave
Eric Trump, another Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest
of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They
seem both be Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or
Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher
has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay
Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it
certainly seems to suit him, with more than 150,000 Americans lying dead in
their graves and Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper wailing that he
is the real victim.
Little Donne Pandemic Jr. seems delighted that his father will
pack 50,000 people like sardines into red state arenas and risk their lives in
order to further the Trump family's political aims. One of those aims,
apparently, is that other Trumps will run for president one day, including
Donnie Dunce Junior himself! Will he be America's first
Crow-Magnon president, as the picture below suggests? Does he really
need all those bullets to murder one defenseless elephant, or is he going to mow
down an entire herd?
The Great White Hunter poses with his trophy: the severed tail of an
innocent elephant he shot to death in cold blood. Elephant Boy
is such a hero! The GWH also loves to
shoot prairie dogs during breeding season: "What can be more fun than to spend
an afternoon shooting cute little rodents, especially nursing mothers and
their babies?" American taxpayers recently paid more than $75,000 for the
Secret Service to protect the Crow-Magnon during an expedition
to hunt an endangered species, Argali sheep. According to reports, Sheep
Slaughter Boy shot his victim at night in its sleep. The Donlad
looks like a vampire. He is cold-blooded and hunts at night. Did he drain the
sheep dry of blood and leave it a dry, empty husk? Donald Trump Jr. Coronavirus Nicknames
For his multitudinous efforts on its behalf, the coronavirus has granted Donald
Trump Jr. the following titles and epaulets:
The Coronavirus's Best Friend
Coronavirus in Semi-Human Form
Human-COVID Hybrid #1 (his brother Eric is Hybrid #2)
The COVID Hominid
The Covid Kid
Donnie Pandemic Jr.
The Hyper Ventilator
The Human Sump Pump (er, better make that the Semi-Human Sump Pump)
The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames ... Oh Hell, Make it
a Baker's Dozen, Plus a Few!
Two-Legged Brain Foreclosure (Trevor Noah)
Junior, Donald Dunce Jr. and Donnie Dunce Jr.
Junior Abuser and Groper Jr. (he came on to women so strong at frat parties
"everyone was warned to stay away from Donnie Trump") The Donlad (pun on "The Donald")
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.) Donny Douchebag (Bill Maher)
Douchebag von Fuckface (Bill Maher)
Son of Drumpf and Donald Drumpkopf the Lesser Ponyboy Chip Off
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get
drunk, pass out and wet the bed)
The Cheapest Gazillionaire Heirhead (People Magazine, after Junior proposed to
Vanessa Haydon with a free ring)
Uday (Trump insiders, per Michael Wolff)
Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his
father) and Frayed Dough
Elephant Boy The Crow-Magnon
Sheep Slaughter Boy
Tsarzan (he has Russian connections and Putin's favor) The Great White Hunter
Wild Bill Hiccup (Michael R. Burch)
Currently Rising and Trending Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames
The Grand Collusionist
My son is a high-quality person and I applaud his transparency.—Donald
The Fire (Trevor Noah, as in the fire that created all the smoke)
Donnie's Inferno (pun on Dante's Inferno)
Donald Trump Jr. is the first thing Donald Trump regrets putting his name
The Snazzy Nazi
Daddy's Human Shield
The Boy Blunder
If Donald Trump Jr. were a wrestler, his nicknames would be: Brutus Beefcake,
Rich Rude, Man-un-Kind, Nacho Man Dandy Savage, Sergeant Slaughter, Flex Luger,
Roamin' Rains of Bullets, Prick Flare, The Blundertaker, Triple Hate, Andre the
Lie-Ant, Rowdy Ruddy White Pride Piper, Fandingo, Hack Swagger, Les Mis (as in
Miserable), The Iron Shit, Superfly Puke-a, Hulk Rogaine, Bison Booger, RyeBack,
Cornswoggle, The Great Cauliflower, Batshitfeasta
The Cro-Magnon, The Caveman, Mountaineer (his Secret Service
code name), Skittles, Skittish, Grade F T-Rump, Uday
Trump, Public Drunk, The Plush Flush Lush, The Airhead, The Bedhead,
Mr. Brylcream, Unbonny Donnie, Nondescript Donnie (because Ivanka got all the attention), The
Immoderate Don, The Groupless Groupie, Groper Jr., Groper Cleavehand Jr.,
Beavis Trump, Butthead Trump,
The Yawn Spawn (Allan Ishac), Little Donnie Diaperpants,
Little Donnie Diaperwetter, Man Who KY's His Scalp (Stephen Colbert "alter
ego"), The Yawn Spawn (Allan Ishac), The Cheapskate, The Gushin' Russian (see the quote below)
"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of
our assets," Donald "Ponyboy" Trump Jr. told a real estate conference
in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In
2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric "the Red" Trump how his father
could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money
against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We
have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims
to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And of
course Trump Jr. made the
purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents perfectly clear
when he informed Jared "Jarhead" Kushner and Paul "Mole" Manafort about the
covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton –
private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's
Watson to figure this one out!
Trumps are putting the X back in Xmas by X-ing out refugee children and their
mothers. If baby Jesus and Mary showed up needing shelter, Donald Trump (aka
Santa Claws) wouldn't
provide them with even a lowly manger. Instead, he'd order American soldiers to
drive them back into the wilderness at gunpoint. Meanwhile, this is what the
satanic festivities at the White House looked like last
Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Together
Two Fredos (Robert De Niro, on SNL)
Little American Psychos (Alec Baldwin playing Donald Trump on SNL)
Bratman and Sobbin'
Dumb and Dumber
Dumber and Dumbest
Beavis and Butthead
Vanessa Trump Nicknames
Ill Thug (Vanity Fair)
Total Gangster Bitch (Vanity Fair)
Most Likely to Wind Up on Ricki Lake (her high school classmates)
Page Six Girl
Wonder Woman (Ivanka Trump, for her handling of five children)
The Machine (Ivanka Trump, ditto)
When Vanessa Haydon met her future husband, she was not initially impressed. But
the elder Trump did make an impression on her, since she described Donald Trump
Jr. to her friends as "the one with the retarded dad."
Ivanka Trump Nicknames
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
The Norwegian Wood Inducer
The First Lady-Daughter
Kushner's Cush Toy
The Smart One and
Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the
smart one" in the Godfather movies)
The Real First Lady, The First Shady Lady,
Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter ... talk about uncomfortable!
Damien Trump and his Stepford Wives
meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of
such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!
The Top Ten
Trump Family Nicknames ...
The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R.
Donald Duck Dynasty
The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R.
The Cold Ones The Children of the Corn
Poor Little Bitch
The Bitches of Eastwick
Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the
major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops,
gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf,
then brags about his "accomplishments"
and campaigns for reelection.
We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jared "Jarhead"
Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his
real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops!
Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well
underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket
starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie).
Little Lord Fauntleroy will
also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big
Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the
The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames (Bolded)
Vanilla ISIS Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump) Aide de Kampf
(Michael R. Burch)
Trump's Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL) Acting President Kushner Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on
Putin's Proxy Putin's Protégé Comrade Kushner
Little Rich Bitch
Little Jared (Ana Navarro)
Baby Boy (Ana Navarro)
Jared "the Red" Kushner
The Boy Blunder
The Preppie Neo-Con
(Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon)
(the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the
The Crown Prince of Babble-On Trump's Lawless Son-in-Law
The Neophyte Jared the Unready
Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee)
The Preppy Schlep Dishonorable Mention:Putin's American Viceroy,
Putin's American Vice-Boy,
Ivanka's KKKrush, Back Door Channel,
Channel 666 (Kushner owns the most expensive building in the U.S. at 666
Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion),
The Top Ten Melania Trump Nicknames ...
Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd)
Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan)
The Man-Boy Sitter and
The Trump Sitter
Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
The Apprentice Bride
Bride of Trumpenstein
The Swamp Queen,
Mater Harry (pun on Mata
Hari and Dirty Harry),
Pussy Bow (because she wore a "pussy bow" to the St. Louis debate),
Double Agent (Christen Clifford suggested that the "pussy bow" was a feminist
rebuke of her husband's pussy groping), TerminEX (because she keeps slapping
Trump's hands away, like it's over), The Black Widow, Eye Candy, I Candy, KKK
(her bra size?)
Trump Divorce Nicknames ...
Reality Check Mate
Reality Czech Mate
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
Toupee or not Toupee Melania Alimony, that is the Question!
The Top Ten Eric Trump Nicknames ...
Eric the Red
Eric the Brain Dead
Eric of Orange
Mr. Alt-Right and Mr. Alt-Wrong
Chip Off the Old Blockhead II
Butthead Trump (his older brother is Beavis), Eric
the Hysteric, Eric the Cleric, Mr. Roboto, The Self-Dealer,
The Charity Defrauder, The Cancer Necromancer (he has been accused of using a
children's cancer "charity" to slip money to himself under the table)
Frederick Trump Nicknames ...
Freddy Freeloader (he overbilled the government
on housing projects)
Frederick the Not-So-Great
Father of the Beast The Kingmaker (Fred Trump said that he raised his son to be a "king")
Guthrie's Bane (the famous folk singer-songwriter wrong angry songs about Fred Trump's
The Top Ten
Tiffany Trump Nicknames ...
The Other Daughter
The Unknown Trump
Barron Trump Nicknames ...
Poor Little Rich
Barron von Trump
Barron von Munchkin
The Top Ten
Trump Administration Nicknames (Bolded) ...
Moscow on the Hudson The Kremlin Gremlins
(Hillary Clinton) Amoral Flying Monkeys
(Keith Olbermann) Amateur Hour at
the White House
Rank Amateurs (emphasis on "rank") Alternate Reality TV Celebrity
Presidential Apprentice KKK: Kooks, Klowns and
Den of the
Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch)
The Ninth Circle of
The Fourth Reich
Combover to the Dark Side Hair
Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch) Trump-Pence None the
Retcher (Michael R. Burch)
Regressive Reds The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch)
The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium
(Michael R. Burch)
Oval Ovary Assault Office
The Ovary Inspection Office
(Michael R. Burch)
Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch)
AmeriKlan Idols Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...
The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration:
kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government
by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler:
“government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article
Trump Impeachment Nicknames ...
The Fall of the House of Lusher
The Fall of the House of
the Gold Toilet Flusher
Gone with the Hot Air
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell ... So
MANY to Choose from ... Better Make it the Top 1,000!
Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets
when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking
literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666
connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter
Agent Orange — by Anonymous (not sure if it was coined by the hacker group Anonymous, but this
is one of my all-time favorites)
Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny,
but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant
Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11,
Thurston Shitbag the Third — by Bill Maher
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart ... this one inspired a slew of jokes and
similar nicknames ...
Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!