The HyperTexts

Famous Nicknames: Nicknames of Famous People

Donald Trump has recently inspired a YUGE collection of nicknames, some of them quite "colorful." Where does Trump rank on the all-time list of famous people with nicknames for the ages? Here are some quick "samples" or examples, in the form of our top ten nicknames of all time, with a few ties ...

(10) William Shakespeare: Will, The Bard of Avon, The Upstart Crow and Emily Dickinson: The Belle of Amherst, The White Witch of Amherst [for more, see "Poets"]
(9) Thomas Alva Edison: The Wizard of Menlo Park and Albert Einstein: The Dopey One (his childhood nickname was Depperte)
(8) Elvis Presley: The King of Rock 'n' Roll, Elvis The Pelvis, Sir Swivel Hips and Michael Jackson: The King of Pop, The Wiz [for more, see "Musicians"]
(8) Maria Callas: La Davina ("The Divine One"), Jenny Lind: The Swedish Nightingale, Joan Sutherland: La Stupenda ("The Stunning One")
(7) Charlie Chaplin: The Little Tramp and Doris Day: The Professional Virgin (because of her squeaky-clean image, at least on-screen)
(6) Muhammad Ali: The Greatest, The People's Champion, The Louisville Lip and George Herman Ruth: The Babe, The Bambino, The Sultan of Swat, The Big Bam
(5) William the Conqueror; also Long Sword, The Bastard and Alexander the Great; also the Madman of Macedonia
(4) Vlad Tepes: The Impaler (his son was called "The Little Impaler" and their family inspired Bram Stoker's eerie novel Dracula)
(3) Attilâ the Hun: Flagellum Dei ("The Scourge of God") and Genghis Khan: the Great Khan ("Supreme Leader" or "Universal Ruler"), Temüjin ("Iron"), The Mongol, The Butcher
(2) Napoleon Bonaparte: Caporal la Violette ("Corporal Violet"), The Little Corporal, The Little Gunner of Toulon, The Little Corsican, The Little General, Nabulio ("Little Meddler), Father Violet, Redingote Grise, The Nightmare of Europe, Jupiter Scapin (Trickster God), God Hanuman (Monkey God), God of Clay (Lord Byron), The Occultist, L’Autre ("The Other"), Jean d'Épée (Jean d'Sword, an occult take on Jean d'Arc "the Maid of Heaven"), The Man of Destiny (another occult title), and The Devil's Favourite
(1) Donald Trump: Agent Orange, Big Rocket Man, Duke Nukem, The Wrath of Con, The Fliplomat, Vanilla ISIS, The Lyin' King, The Lord of the Blings, Darth Hater, Uncle Scam, The Banana Republican, The White Kanye (Bill Maher), Short-Fingered Vulgarian (Graydon Carter ), The Gaud Father (Michael R. Burch), King Gorge, The Great Gutsby (Michael R. Burch), Putin's Puppet, Comrade Trumputin, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, Polezni Durak (Russian for "Useful Idiot"), The White Pride Piper, Little Horn, The Trump of Doom (the Holy Bible), THE ANTICHRIST (when the Hebrew prophets spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally?)

Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

Worst Nicknames

The Nippon Ham Fighters, a Japanese baseball team
The Hiroshima Toyo Carp, a Japanese baseball team
Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove was so nicknamed by George "Dubya" Bush
Constantine Copronymus the "Diaper Pooper" was a Byzantine emperor
"Droopy Drawers" Shimada Shigetaro was a Japanese Admiral accused of brownnosing the Emperor
James II of England was called the "Shit" and the "Beshitten" (Séamus an Chaca)
"Booger" (played by Curtis Armstrong in The Revenge of the Nerds)
John "Bluto" Blutarsky (played by John Belushi in Animal House)
Eric "Butterbean" Esch, a professional boxer
Lester "the Molester" Hayes, a professional football player
Paddy "Pantsdown" Ashdown was so named after having an affair with his secretary 
Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was dubbed the "Underwear Bomber"
Alfonso IX of Leon was known as the "Slobberer"
Ragnarr "Hairypants" was a Viking chieftain
William "Gonorrhea" Guarnere was a WWII paratrooper who understandably preferred the nickname "Wild Bill"
Walter "Furry" Lewis was a blues guitarist

More Winning Nicknames

High Honorable/Dishonorable Mention: (Honest) Abe Lincoln, The Angelic Doctor (Thomas Aquinas), Joan d'Arc the Maid of Heaven, The Venerable Bede, Black Jack Pershing, Blackbeard (Edward Teach), Bluebeard (Fictional), The Blind Bard (Homer), The Boss (Bruce Springsteen), Braveheart (Robert the Bruce), Buffalo Bill Cody, Calamity Jane (Martha Jane Canary), Catherine the Great, Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel), Dubya (George W. Bush), FDR, Geronimo, The Gipper (Ronald Reagan), Jack the Ripper (Unknown), JFK, LBJ, Machine Gun Kelly, Madonna, Mata Hari (Spy), No Drama Obama, Old Hickory (Andrew Jackson), Pelé, Pretty Boy Floyd, Prince, Tiger Woods, Tokyo Rose (Axis Propaganda), The Velvet Fog (Mel Torme), The Virgin Queen (Elizabeth I), Wild Bill Hickok, The Zodiac Killer (Unknown)

More Honorable Mentions: "Hammerin'" Hank Aaron, Lance "Bambi" Alworth, The Round Mound of Rebound (Charles Barkley), Larry "Legend" Bird, The Big Dipper (Wilt Chamberlain), Joltin' Joe DiMaggio the Yankee Clipper, Einstein (Stephen Hawking, by his awed classmates), Chrissy "America's Sweetheart" Evert, Dr. J (Julius Erving), Harold "Red" Grange the Galloping Ghost, The Great One (Wayne Gretzky), Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch, Earvin "Magic" Johnson, Walter "Big Train" Johnson, Michael "Air" Jordan, Flo-Jo (Florence Griffith Joyner), The Left Hand of God (Sandy Koufax), Dick "Night Train" Lane, Rod "the Rocket" Laver, "Pistol" Pete Maravich, Beast Mode (Marshawn Lynch), Stan "The Man" Musial, The Golden Bear (Jack Nicklaus), Jesse "Black Magic" Owens, Walter "Sweetness" Payton, Richard "the King" Petty, Michael "Mr. Olympia" Phelps, Charlie Hustle (Pete Rose), The Empress of the Blues (Bessie Smith), "Give 'Em Hell" Harry S. Truman, The Logo (Jerry West), The Minister of Defense (Reggie White), The Human Highlight Reel (Dominique Wilkins), The Splendid Splinter (Ted Williams), Babe (Mildred Ella Didrikson Zaharias)

Unexpected Nicknames Part I

Grumors: "Grumors" are rumors that your underperforming football coach will soon be replaced by John Gruden!
Bra: The French term brassičre means a child's bodice or vest; it was later shortened to "bra." Well, it does sound a bit classier than "over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder"!
England/Britain: No wonder the islanders want to Brexit! The name England derives from the Angles (Germans), while Britain derives from the Bretons (French)!
Sandwich: The Earl of Sandwich loved to gamble so much that he often skipped formal meals and would eat cold leftovers served between slices of bread.
Hot Dog: In the early 1900s there were rumors that cheap Coney Island wieners contained heated dog meat. (And who knows, perhaps they did!)
Hamburger: No, hamburgers did not start out as ham sandwiches! Rather the name comes from Hamburg, Germany, where "Hamburg steaks" were served on bread.

Nickname Trivia: I once had the honor of publishing poems and photographs by Leonard Nimoy, better known to the world as Mr. Spock, or just Spock. At one time, Nimoy disliked being called Spock and in 1975 he even wrote a book titled I Am Not Spock. But then he had a change of heart toward his alter ego, and twenty years later, in 1995, he wrote another book titled I Am Spock. So according to Nimoy, he was both Spock and Not-Spock! And long before he became famous, his nicknames were Lenny and Dimples.―Michael R. Burch

NOTE: Nicknames denoted MRB were coined by Michael R. Burch, either specifically for this page, or, in the case of Trump nicknames, for The HyperTexts' popular Trump nickname, pun, limerick and joke pages. All such nicknames are "public domain" and can be used and shared freely. If you are willing to credit the source, that would be grand!

Saints & Sinners

Buddha: the Enlightened One
Jesus: Christ ("the Anointed One" or "Messiah"), The Prince of Peace, The Lion of Judah, The Lamb of God, The Son of God
Mary: the Blessed Virgin, the Virgin Mary
Muhammad: the Prophet, the Messenger of Allah, the Model of Conduct, the Honest, the Kind, the Trustworthy, the Beloved
Lucifer: the Devil, Satan, Mephistopheles, Beelzebub, Old Nick, Old Scratch, The Prince of Darkness, Diablo, Bad Man, Little Horn (Trump?)
Florence Nightingale (Nightingale was her real last name; her first name came from the city of her birth)
Mother Teresa
St. Therese of Lisieux: Little Flower
Mohandas Gandhi: Mahatma (Great Soul), Bapu (Father), Bapuji, Gandhiji, Spinner (Gandhi himself), Little Man (ditto), Upper House (ditto), The Father of India

NOTE: Gandhi made up nicknames for himself and some of the people he corresponded with. Many of the nicknames were humorous endearments. (Gandhi once said, "If I had no sense of humour, I would long ago have committed suicide.") The only person Gandhi called "sir" in his letters was Leo Tolstoy. Tolstoy appears to have been a "spiritual father" of sorts for Gandhi, with his ideal of "simplicity of life and purity of purpose" with love as the "law of life" and the principle of non-violence. Gandhi called Albert Einstein "dear friend" although they never met. But what a meeting it would have been!

Unexpected Nicknames Part II

Pericles: Onion Head
Oliver Cromwell: The Almighty Nose
Charles de Gaulle: The Great Asparagus, La Grande Zohra (The Grand Camel), Cyrano (all three due to his appearance)
Isaac Newton: Big Nose
Thomas Jefferson: Long Loin
Emily Dickinson: Liver Lips
Ivar "the Boneless" was the brother of Sigurd "Snake Eye"
Ulick "of the Heads" apparently liked to lop them off!
Eystein "the Fart" (don't ask!)
Louis XI: The Universal Spider
Michael Jackson: Smelly, Applehead
Charles Bronson: Il Brutto ("the Brute"), Monstre Sacreť ("Holy Monster"ť)
Napoleon: Corporal Violet, Tiddy-Doll, Little Boney, Old Puss in Boots, Fleshy, Napoleon Straw-in-the-Nose
Caligula: Little Boot
Adolph Hitler: Teppichfresser ("Carpet Pacer" or "Carpet Chewer" because he fretted and paced around so much as his grand plans disintegrated)
Donald Trump: Man-Baby (Jon Stewart), Terroristic Man-Toddler (Charles M. Blow), 70-Year-Old Toddler (Samantha Bee), Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper, Little Donnie Diaperpants, Moron (Secretary of State Rex Tillerson), Amnesty Don (Trump's Chief Strategist Steve Bannon), Archie Bunker (Steve Bannon), Bloviating Ignoramus (George Will), Pathological Liar (Ted Cruz), Delusional Narcissist (Rand Paul), The Turncoat (Sean Hannity), The Rollover (Ann Coulter), Golden Wrecking Ball (Sarah Palin), Donald the Bitch (Eminem), Creep Throat (Seth Meyers)

Hey, when your best friends and biggest boosters―Sarah Palin, Steve Bannon, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Rex Tillerson―call you names like that, who needs enemies?

Statesmen and Politicians

Samuel Adams: The American Cato, Last of the Puritans
Benjamin Franklin: Ben, The American Socrates, The First American, Poor Richard, Silence Dogood (his first pen name), The Prophet of Tolerance, Old Iron Balls
William Pitt: Bottomless Pitt, The Great Commoner
Arthur Wellesley the Duke of Wellington: The Iron Duke 
Otto von Bismarck: Man of Iron, The Iron Chancellor
Margaret Thatcher: The Iron Lady
Vladimir Putin: Vova, Abaddon (the Angel of Death), Vladula, Pale Moth (his KGB code name), The Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, Blonde Bond, The Puppet Master
Steve Bannon: Darth Bannon, Loose Cannon Bannon
Melania Trump: Melanoma, Melania Antoinette (Michael R. Burch), The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd), First Babe
Donald Trump Jr: Ponyboy, Chip Off the Old Blockhead, Fredo Corleone, Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
Eric Trump: Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, Eric of Orange, Eric Idle, Sonny Corleone, Sonny-Boy
Ivanka Trump: Proxy Wife, First Lady-Daughter, Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies), Ivanka Tramp
Jared Kushner: Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch), Jared the Red, Jarring Jared,
Kellyanne Conway: Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch), Miss Misinformation, The Spin Mistress
Mitch McConnell: Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)
Betsy DeVos: Cruella DeVile (Michael R. Burch)
Paul Ryan: Paul Ruin, Lyin' Ryan, Eddie Munster
Anthony Scaramucci: Deputy Dip-Pity-'Do, The Mooch, The Mooch-Smooch
Ben Carson: HUD Ornament (Michael R. Burch), Carsonoma
Tom Price: Sky-High Price and The Leer Jetter (after he spent hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars on charter jets)
Elaine Duke: The Duke of Hurl and Duke Pukem (after she said hurricane-ravaged Puerto Rico was "really a good news story" for the Trump administration)
Orrin Hatch: Orrin Goering, Orrin Moron, Orrin Boring, Borin' Orrin
Steve Mnuchin: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King
Gary Cohn: Sachs-man, The Goldman Sackman (Michael R. Burch), Cohn's Disease
Judge Roy More: Sludge Roy Moore, The Ten Commandments Judge (Sarah Palin), Captain Shamerica (it seems he wasn't so good at keeping the LAW himself)

Unexpected Nicknames, Part III

Sophocles: The Attic Bee, The Athenian Bee (because of his sweet style)
Democritus: The Laughing Philosopher
Herodotus: The Weeping Philosopher
Charlemagne: The Sleeping King
Leo Tolstoy: Sparky
Franz Kafka: Bubbles
Beverly Sills: Bubbles (because as a baby she was born with a spit bubble in her mouth)
Edgar Allan Poe: Sunny
Don Rickles: Mr. Warmth, Mr. Potato Head
Voltaire: The Great Pan, The Ape of Genius (Victor Hugo)
Oliver Goldsmith: The Inspired Idiot
Robert Walpole: The Grand Corrupter
Horace Walpole: The Autocrat of Strawberry Hill
Benjamin Disraeli: Dizzy, The Gay Lothario of Politics
Alexander the Great: The Madman of Macedonia
General George H. Thomas: Old Snow Trot
Theodore Hook: Ramsbottom (Don't ask!)

Common Nicknames

Ace, Amy, Andy, Art, Birdie, Bo, Bubba, Bud, Chip, Chuck, Evie, Honey, Hoss, Ike, John, Johnny, Kiki, Libby, Lottie, Lulu, Midge, Poppy, Queenie, Sally, Skip, Skippy
Alexandra (Alex, Andi, Sandy, Sandra, Xandra)
Catherine/Katherine (Cate, Cathie, Cathy, Karen, Kat, Kate, Kathie, Kathy, Katie, Kay, Kit, Kittie, Kitty, Rhynie, Rina,Terri, Terry, Trina )
Christine (Chris, Chrissie, Christy, Crissy, Ena, Ina, Kit, Kissy, Kris, Krissy, Tina, Xina)
Deborah (Deb, Debra, Debbie, Debby)
Edward (Ed, Eddie, Eddy, Ted, Teddy, Ward)
Elizabeth (Bess, Bessie, Bet, Beth, Betsy, Bitsy, Bettie, Betty, Eli, Eliza, Ellie, Elly, Elsie, Ibby, Izzy, Libby, Lisa, Lish, Liz, Liza, Lizbet, Lizbeth, Lizzie, Tess)
Henry (Harry, Hank)
James (Jack, Jamie, Jay, Jim, Jimmy, Jimbo)
Joseph (Joe, Joey)
Margaret (Daisy, Greta, Madge, Maggie, Marge, Margie, Margo, Meg, Midge, Peg, Penny)
Michael (Mike, Mick, Michel, Michelle, Mickey, Micky, Mikey)
Miriam (Mae, Mamie, Maria, Marie, Mary, Mattie, May, Mia, Mimi, Molly, Polly)
Peter (Pete, Petey)
Richard (Dick, Dicky, Rich, Rick, Ricky)
Robert (Bob, Bobby, Rob, Robby, Bert)
Stephen/Steven (Steve, Stevie, Steph)
Susan (Sue, Suzie)
Thomas (Tom, Tommy)
William (Bill, Billy, Will, Willy, Liam)

Famous Conflicts

Nimrod the Mighty Hunter may have been associated with the Tower of Babel (circa 2000 BC) and seems to have opposed the Bible's Ancient of Days.
Alexander the Great kills Cleitus the Black, an officer who had once saved his life in battle, during a drunken quarrel in 328 BC.
William the Conqueror seizes the crown left by Edward the Confessor and becomes King of England by winning the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
While Richard the Lionheart is crusading in the Holy Land, Robin Hood and Little John must deal with the regent John and his goons, circa 1190.
The "Iron Duke" of Wellington defeats "The Nightmare of Europe" Napoleon Bonaparte at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.
Isabella Marie "Belle" Boyd, the "Cleopatra of the Secession," spies for Confederate General Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson in 1862.
"Honest" Abe Lincoln puts Ulysses S. "Unconditional Surrender" Grant in charge of the Union armies in 1864.
Dr. Samuel Mudd's name does, indeed, become "mud" after he was accused of aiding the murderer of "Father" Abraham Lincoln in 1865.
Sitting Bull and Crazy Horse defeat George Armstrong "Autie" Custer, who dies at the Battle of the Little Bighorn in 1876.
"Big Casino" Pat Garrett shoots and kills "Little Casino" William H. Bonney, better known as "Billy the Kid," in 1881. The two had been gambling buddies.
The "Untouchable" Eliot Ness brings Al "Scarface" Capone to justice in 1931.
Undertaker C. F. "Boots" Bailey has trouble embalming the bodies of "Bonnie and Clyde" (Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow) due to all the bullet holes in 1934.
"Ol' Blood-'n'-Guts" George S. Patton and "The Desert Fox" Erwin Rommel duel each other in North Africa, as the WWII tide begins to shift in 1942.
Deep Throat (W. Mark Felt) helps bring Tricky Dick (Richard M. Nixon) to justice in 1972.
"The King of Pop" Michael Jackson marries the daughter of "The King of Rock 'n' Roll" Elvis Presley in 1994, but they divorce in 1996.
Donald "Trump of Doom" replaces Barack "No Drama" Obama as president of the United States in 2016.
"Big Rocket Man" threatens to destroy "Little Rocket Man" and the rest of the world in 2017.

The Rock-Poetry Nickname Connection

The Beatles were once the Silver Beetles; the "a" in Beatles was their homage to the Beat poets: Allen Ginsberg, et al.
Bob Dylan is the stage name of Robert Zimmerman, who took his last name from the first name of the great Welsh poet Dylan Thomas.
The Rolling Stones and Rolling Stone magazine are both named after the Muddy Waters blues lyric "Rollin' Stone."
The Doors were named after the mystical English poet William Blake's "Doors of Perception."
Led Zeppelin were greatly influenced by the poetry and prose of J. R. R. Tolkien in their songs "Ramble On," "Misty Mountain Hop," "The Battle of Evermore," etc.
Steppenwolf were named after a novel by the German poet Hermann Hesse.
Supertramp were named after the title of a book by the Welsh poet W. H. Davies: The Autobiography of a Super-Tramp.
Steely Dan were named after a "prominent" sex toy in Naked Lunch by the Beat poet/writer William S. Burroughs.
Sixpence None The Richer took their name from a passage by the English poet/writer C. S. Lewis.
Moby took their name from the novel Moby Dick by the American poet/writer Herman Melville. 

Royal Pains

Harold I of England: Harold Harefoot
George I of England: The Turnip Hoer
George III of England: Farmer George
Richard II of England: The Hog
Charles I of England: Baby Charles, The White King, The Saint, The Martyr, The Last Man (he was beheaded)
Charles II of England: Son of the Last Man, The Merry Monarch, The Mutton Eating Monarch, The Black Boy
Charles Edward Stuart: Bonnie Prince Charlie, The Young Pretender, The Young Chevalier
James I of England: The Wisest Fool in Christendom
Philippe I of France: The Amorous
Charles III of France: The Drunkard, The Simple
Maximilian I of Germany: The Penniless
Napoleon I of France: Le Petit Tondu ("The Little Shorn One"), The Little Gunner of Toulon, The Little Corsican, The Little General, The Emperor of Elba, The Horse Thief of Berlin
Napoleon II of France: The Baby Eagle, The Eaglet
Napoleon III of Franc: The Man of Sedan, The Little, The Small, Ratipol
Frederick V of Bohemia: The Winter King
Charles II of Spain: The Bewitched, The Little King, Lord Strut
Charles III of Spain: The Enlightened Despot
Charles XIV of Sweden: Sergent Belle-Jambe ("Sergeant Pretty Legs")

Famous People Known by their Nicknames, Initials and/or Mononyms

Houdini (his name has come to mean "escape artist")
Meat Loaf
Michelangelo (his name has come to mean "the height of art")
Pink (aka P!nk)
Prince (aka The Symbol)
Rasputin (aka The Mad Monk)

Famous People Known Primarily by the their Nicknames, Epithets and/or Sobriquets

Alexander the Great
Julian the Apostate
Edward the Confessor
The Venerable Bede
Richard the Lionheart
Ivan the Terrible
Bloody Mary
Robin Hood
Friar Tuck
Maid Marian
Little John
Little Richard
Vlad the Impaler 
Lady Bird Johnson (because as a baby she was "cute as a lady bird")
The Red Baron (WWI ace Baron Manfred von Richthofen)
Deep Throat (W. Mark Felt)
Tokyo Rose (Iva Toguri D’Aquino)
Mata Hari (the stage name of Margaretha Geertruida Zelle Macleod)

Famous Hustler and Pool Shark Nicknames

Ralph Wanderone: Minnesota Fats (but in the ultimate con, he stole his most famous nickname from a character in the movie The Hustler!)
Frank Taberski: The Inexorable Snail (so-called because he played so slowly he drove his opponents to despair, or at least to drink)
Lou Butera: Machine Gun Lou (the anti-Taberski, he would shoot as fast as possible to win the money quicker)
Albert Frey: Peter Pan, The Magical Boy, The Boy Wonder (the first great American pool shark really did look like a fey Peter Pan)
Earl Strickland: The Pearl
Efren Reyes: The Magician
Billy "Cornbread Red" Burge
Louie Roberts: Saint Louie Louie
Harold Worst: The Best (in one of the great ironies, Worst may have been the best player ever to pick up a cue!)

Famous Actor and Actress Nicknames

John Wayne: Duke
Charlie Chaplin: The Little Tramp
Doris Day: The Professional Virgin
Charles Bronson: Il Brutto ("the Brute"), Monstre Sacreť ("Holy Monster"ť)
Jean Claude van Damme: Muscles from Brussels
Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Governator (while he was Governor for California)
Dwayne Johnson: The Rock
Clint Eastwood: Squint
Al Pacino: Sonny, Weird Al Pacion
Robert De Niro: Bobby Milk (his childhood nickname), Robert DeWeirdo
Johnny Depp: Johnny Debt
Will Smith: The Fresh Prince, Will the Thrill, Smif
Sylvester Stallone: Sly
Bette Midler: the Divine Miss M (a nickname she acquired while performing at a gay bathhouse!)
Bruce Willis: Bruno
Mel Gibson: Mad Mel (he played Mad Max, then acted oddly in his personal life)
Hugh Jackman: Sticks (because he was so skinny as a boy that his legs looked like sticks)
Jennifer Lawrence: Nitro (her childhood nickname because she was so energetic)
Bella Thorne: Pickle (an affectionate nickname given her by Drew Barrymore)
David Arquette: Mr. Generous

Hosts, Emcees and Other Celebrities

Ellen DeGeneres: The White Oprah, Tilly Mint
Larry King: Captain Cameo
Johnny Carson: The King of Late-Night TV, Mr. Excitement, Carnac the Magnificent
Howard Stern: Howeird, Howie, How, Howchie, The Howard, King of All Media
Rush Limbaugh: Master Baiter

Musicians, Singers and Composers

Elvis Presley: The King, The King of Rock 'n' Roll, Elvis The Pelvis, Sir Swivel Hips, The Tupelo Tornado, Alan (his nondescript Graceland code name), The King of Western Bop, The Hillbilly Cat, The Memphis Flash
Michael Jackson: The King of Pop, MJ, Mike, Jacko, Wacko Jacko, Space Michael, The Gloved One, The Peter Pan of Pop, The Wiz
James Brown: The Godfather of Soul, The Godfather of Funk, Mr. Dynamite, The Hardest-Working Man in Show Business, Mr. Excitement
Prince: Prince
Queen: Queen
Frank Sinatra: The Chairman of the Board
James Brown: The Godfather of Soul, The Godfather of Funk, Mr. Dynamite, The Hardest-Working Man in Show Business
Mariah Carey: Mirage (because she skipped class so much she was hardly ever seen!)
Mel Torme: The Velvet Fog
Bruce Springsteen: The Boss
Johnny Cash: The Man in Black
Jenny Lind: The Swedish Nightingale
Johann Strauss: The Waltz King
Glen Campbell: The Rhinestone Cowboy
Miley Cyrus: Miley (as a child she smiled so much she was "Smiley" but later the "S" was dropped and she changed her legal name accordingly)
Jennifer Lopez: J. Lo
"Uncle" Dave Macon: The Dixie Dewdrop, The Grand Ole Man of the Grand Ole Opry, The Grandfather of Country Music
Blake Shelton: Toad (because as a boy he would bring toads home to his mother), Bwake (because Gwen Stefani's son Apollo had trouble pronouncing the letter "L")


Homer: The Swan of Meander, The Blind Bard, The Father of Poetry, The Prince of Poets
Virgil: The Mantuan Swan 
Pindar: The Swan of Dirce, The Dircean Swan (by Horace)
François Fénelon: The Swan of Cambray
Francesco Algarotti: The Swan of Padua
William Shakespeare: The Sweet Swan of Avon, The Bard, The Bard of Avon, The Upstart Crow, The Divine, The Matchless, Fancy's Child, Heir of France, The Immortal Bard, The Bard of All Time, England's National Poet, Will

Why all the swans? Apollo was the god of poetry, and his chariot was pulled by swans! Homer was considered to be the greatest of the Greek epic poets, Pindar the greatest of the Greek lyric poets. Virgil was considered to be the greatest of the Roman poets. So when Bon Jonson lauded Shakespeare as the "Sweet Swan of Avon," he may have been nominating him as the greatest English poet, and a rival of Homer, Pindar and Virgil. On the other hand, Robert Greene called Shakespeare an "upstart crow" because he was a lowly actor and commoner who dared to write plays and poems like his superiors (or at least his alleged superiors in class and education).

Emily Dickinson: The Belle of Amherst, The White Witch of Amherst, The New England Mystic, Dolly, Daisy (Samuel Bowles), The Recluse
Dr. Samuel Johnson: Ursa Major, The Great Moralist, The Leviathan of Literature, The Great Cham of Literature ("cham"="khan"="ruler")
John Milton: The British Homer (Milton became blind, like Homer), The Gospel Gun
Sappho: The Tenth Muse, The Pride of Hellas, The Flower of the Graces, The Companion of Apollo, The Poetess, The Sweet-Voiced Girl (her own description)
Pindar: The Theban Eagle
Geoffrey Chaucer: The Flower of Poets
Edmund Spenser: Prince of Poets
John Keats: Adonais (by Percy Bysshe Shelley in an elegy to Keats)
Percy Bysshe Shelley: Poet of Poets, Mad Shelley, The Atheist, Ariel (by his Pisan friends)
Walt Whitman: The Good Gray Poet, Uncle Walt, Walt, Wally
Emily Dickinson: The Belle of Amherst, The Recluse, Liver Lips
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The Buddha of the West, Yankee Plato
Henry David Thoreau: Hank the Crank
Thomas Chatterton: The Bristol Boy, The Blue-Coat Boy, The Marvellous Boy (William Wordsworth), Heaven-Born Genius (S. T. Coleridge), Sweet Harper (STC)
Lord Byron: Don Juan (he wrote a long poem with that title)
Ezra Pound: Bugsy
Robert Southey: Abel Shufflebottom
Sir Philip Sidney: Astrophel
Oliver Wendell Holmes: The Autocrat
Ben Jonson: The Bricklayer, Father Ben (there was a group of poets called the "Sons of Ben"), Rare Ben Jonson
Walter Scott: The Border Minstrel
Thomas Moore: The Melodious Bard
Thomas Gray: The Orpheus of Highwaymen
Robert Burns: The Bard, Bobbie Burns, Rabbie Burns, Scotland's Favorite Son, The Ploughman Poet, The Heaven-Taught Ploughman, Robden of Solway Firth, The Bard of Ayrshire, The Peasant Bard


Samuel Clemens: Mark Twain (a riverboat term, his pen name means "sufficient depth" or "safe to proceed")
Ernest Hemingway: Papa
Charles Dickens: Boz, Dickie
Goethe: The Master
Voltaire: Zozo (his family's nickname for him as a child; he later chose the name he is known by today), The Ape of Genius (Victor Hugo)
Norman Mailer: Knuckles (he had a habit of punching people!)
Jonathan Swift: Presto, The English Rabelais
Joel Chandler Harris: Uncle Remus
Dr. Seuss (the pen name of Theodor Seuss Geisel)

Top Ten Presidential Nicknames

The Great Emancipator, The Liberator, Abe, Honest Abe, Father Abraham, The Rail-Splitter, The Ancient One (Abraham Lincoln)
The Great Communicator, Dutch, The Gipper, The Ripper, The Lifeguard, Ronnie, Saint Ronnie, The Teflon President, Rawhide (Ronald Reagan)
The King of Camelot, Jack, JFK (John F. Kennedy)
The Father of His Country, The American Cincinnatus, The American Fabius (George Washington)
The Sage of Monticello, The Apostle of Democracy, Long Tom, Long Loin (Thomas Jefferson)
Give 'Em Hell Harry (Harry S. Truman)
The Colossus of Independence, Old Sink or Swim (John Adams)
No Drama Obama, Barry, Barry O'Bomber, Bam-Bam (Barack Obama)
The Boss, King Franklin, The Sphinx, The Squire of Hyde Park (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
Unconditional Surrender Grant, Uncle Sam Grant, United States Grant, U. S. Grant, United We Stand Grant, Old Three Stars (Ulysses S. Grant)

Less Flattering Presidential Nicknames

Tricky Dick, Richard the Chicken-Hearted, Gloomy Gus (Richard M. Nixon)
Tricky Trump, Agent Orange, Hair Hitler, Der Gropenfuhrer, The Trump of Doom, The Trumpster, The Donald (Donald John Trump)
Slick Willy, Slick Willie, Bubba, The Big Dob, The Comeback Kid, The First Black President (Bill Clinton)
Dubya, Shrub, Bush Baby, Bush League, Bush Junior, Bush 43, "The Decider" (George W. Bush)
His Fraudulency, Rutherfraud, The De Facto President, The Usurper, Granny, Old 8 to7 (Rutherford B. Hayes)
His Accidency (John Tyler)
His Rotundity, The Monarch (John Adams)
His Obstinacy (Grover Cleveland)
Martin Van Ruin, Machiavellian Belshazzar, Old Kinderhook (Martin Van Buren)
His Little Majesty, Dolly's Husband (James Madison)
The Stuffed Prophet, Old Veto, The Beast of Buffalo, The Hangman of Buffalo (Grover Cleveland, who allegedly fathered an illegitimate child when he was mayor of Buffalo)
The Human Iceberg, Kid Gloves Harrison (Benjamin Harrison)
Wobbly Warren, President Hardly (Warren G. Harding)
The Plodder, Polk the Mendacious (James K. Polk)
Ten Cent Jimmy, The Grand Turk, Old Buck, The Do-Nothing President (James Buchanan)
Uncle Cornpone, Rufus Cornpone, Uncle Rufus, Bullshit, Bull (Lyndon Baines Johnson, because of his lying)
Useless Grant (U. S. Grant)
Peanut, The Peanut Farmer, Jimmy, President Malaise (Jimmy Carter)
Sleeping Beauty, Big Lub, Big Chief, Mr. Malaprop, Taft the Blunderer (William Howard Taft)
The Drunkard (Franklin Pierce)
The Accidental President, The American Louis Philippe (Millard Fillmore)
The Accidental President (Gerald R. Ford)
Old Foot in the Mouth, The Jelly Bean President (Ronald Reagan)
Sir Veto (Andrew Johnson)
The Madman of Massachusets (John Quincy Adams)
Old Mutton Head, His Pomposity (George Washington)
Mad Tom (Thomas Jefferson)

Presidential Nicknames: The Strong and/or Silent or Talkative Types

Old Rough and Ready (Zachary Taylor)
The Rough Rider, The Bull Moose, The Lion, The Hero of San Juan Hill, The Trust Buster (Teddy Roosevelt)
Old Hickory, Old Tough, The Hero of New Orleans, King Mob, Caesar (Andrew Jackson)
Young Hickory (James K. Polk, a protégé of "Old Hickory" Andrew Jackson)
Tippecanoe, Old Tip, General Mum, Honest Ben, Hard Cider (William Henry Harrison)
Boatman Jim (James A. Garfield)
The Kansas Cyclone, Ike, General Ike (Dwight D. Eisenhower, known for his campaign slogan "We like Ike")
Silent Cal, Cool Cal, Cautious Cal, The Sphinx of the Potomac (Calvin Coolidge)
The Houdini of the White House, That Man (Franklin Delano Roosevelt)
The Schoolmaster, The Professor (Woodrow Wilson)
The Great Engineer, The Great Humanitarian, The Grand Old Man, The Chief, Bert (Herbert Hoover)
Old Man Eloquent (John Quincy Adams)
Read My Lips (George H. W. Bush, who vowed never to raise taxes, but did)

Soft and Fluffy Presidential Nicknames

Teddy (Theodore Roosevelt; the "teddy bear" was named after him)
Poppy, Old Pop, Papa Bush, Bush 41 (George H. W. Bush, to differentiate him from his son President George W. Bush)
Uncle Jumbo, Grover Good (Grover Cleveland)
Winnie, Sonny (William B. Harding)
Junie, Junior (Gerald R. Ford Jr.)
Little Jemmy, Short Stack (James Madison, who stood only 5'4")
The Little Magician, The Enchanter, Little Matt, Pet of the Petticoats, The Mistletoe Politician (Martin Van Buren, who stood 5'6")
Little Ben, Grandfather's Hat (Benjamin Harrison, who stood 5'6" and was also the grandson of former President William Henry Harrison)
The Era of Good Feelings President, The Last Cocked Hat (James Monroe)
Mr. Nice Guy, Jerry (Gerald Ford)
Prince Arthur, The Dude President, Gentleman Boss, The Walrus, Chet (Chester A. Arthur)
Elegant Arthur (James A. Garfield)
Handsome Frank (Franklin Pierce)
The Tennessee Tailor (Andrew Johnson)
Light Bulb Lyndon (Lyndon Baines Johnson)

Presidential Nicknames: Short and Sweet Initials Only

JQA (John Quincy Adams)
JFK (John F. Kennedy)
FDR (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
TR (Teddy Roosevelt; he didn't have a middle name)
LBJ (Lyndon Baines Johnson)

Generals and other Military Leaders

Attilâ: Attila the Hun, Flagellum Dei ("The Scourge of God"), The Terror of the World
Genghis Khan: the Great Khan ("Supreme Leader" or "Universal Ruler"), Temüjin ("Iron"), The Mongol, The Butcher (of an estimated 35-40 million people)
William I of England: The Conqueror, Long Sword
Erwin Rommel: The Desert Fox
Admiral Horatio Nelson: Cyclops, The Hero of the Nile
John "Black Jack" Pershing
George S. Patton: Ol' Blood-'n'-Guts (a nickname he rejected)
Robert E. Lee: Granny
Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson
Charles "The Hammer" Martel
Charlemagne: The Butcher of the Saxons, The Blessed, The Sleeping King, Charles the Great, King of the Franks
King Richard "The Lionheart"
Sitting Bull (he was slow to anger and tried to avoid war)
Crazy Horse (his childhood name meant "Curly")
Napoleon I: The Corsican Sesostris, Modern Sesostris (Lord Byron―Napoleon's "dice were human bones"), Le Général Entrepreneur ("The Contractor General"), General Undertaker, The Corsican Fiend, The Corsican Ogre


Attilâ: Attila the Hun, The Scourge of God, The Terror of the World
Queen Mary I of England: Bloody Mary
Ivan The Terrible
Peter the Great
Catherine the Great (Russian czars were apparently either terrible or great!)
Vladimir Putin: The Pale Moth (his KGB code name)


Thomas Alva Edison: The Wizard of Menlo Park, Tom, Al (his childhood nickname), Dot, Dash
Albert Einstein: The Dopey One (his childhood nickname, Depperte, was quickly outgrown!)
Roger Bacon: The Wonderful Doctor (Doctor Mirabilis)

Roughs, Toughs and Badasses

William H. Bonney: Billy the Kid (he was born William Henry McCarty and also went by Henry Antrim)
Martha Jane Canary: "Calamity Jane"
Christopher "Kit" Carson
William F. Cody: Buffalo Bill
David Crockett: Davey, Hero of the Alamo, King of the Wild Frontier
Mary Katherine Haroney: "Big Nose Kate" was Doc Holliday's lover and sometimes sidekick
James Butler Hickok: Wild Bill Hickok
William Kidd: Captain Kidd
Myra Maybelle Shirley: Belle Starr
Edward Teach: Blackbeard
Alvin Thompson: Titanic (he said that he killed five men, but they all would have agreed that they deserved it!)

Gangster, Gangsta and Mobster Nicknames

Tony "Big Tuna" Accardo
Israel "Icepick Willie" Alderman
Marie Baker: the "Pretty Pants Bandit" would make her victims drop their pants before she made her getaway!
Kate "Ma" Barker; she was born Arizona Clark
Leroy "Nicky" Barnes; also "Mr. Untouchable"
Jimmy "The Gent" Burke
"Scarface" Al Capone; he was called "Snorky" by his friends
Vincent "Mad Dog" Coll
Jack "Legs" Diamond; also "Clay Pigeon" because he was shot so many times!
Charles "Pretty Boy" Floyd
Carmine "The Cigar" Galante
Virginia Hill: "The Flamingo" and "The Queen of the Gangster Molls" was played by Annette Bening in Bugsy
George "Machine Gun" Kelly
Opal "Mack Truck" Long; a member of John Dillinger's "Terror Gang," no one spouted this nickname to her face!
Charlie "Lucky" Luciano 
Thomas "Butterfingers" Moran was an adept pickpocket 
Lester Joseph Gillis, better known as "Baby Face" Nelson for his youthful appearance, despised his nickname and called himself "Big" George Nelson despite standing only five-foot-four!
Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow: Bonnie and Clyde
Tommy "The Butcher" Pitera
"Pistol" Pete Rollack
Belle Siddons: Madame Vestal
Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel hated his nickname and was never called it to his face; it was said to cause him to become enragedmurderously so!
Stephanie "Madame" St. Clair; also "Queenie"
Kazuo "The Bear" Taoka
John "White Devil" Willis

Divines and Mystics

Jeanne d'Arc: The Maid of Orleans, La Pucelle (The Maid), Maid of Heaven, Little Joan (her childhood nickname)
Thomas Aquinas: Doctor Angelicus (The Angelic Doctor), Angel of the Schools, The Dumb Ox, Stupid Boy
John Bunyan: The Immortal Tinker, The Inspired Tinker
John the Apostle: The Beloved Disciple
Barnabas: The Son of Consolation

Some of the More Charitable and Chivalrous Types

William Douglas: The Flower of Chivalry
King Arthur: The Flower of Kings, The Once and Future King
Elizabeth I of England: Good Queen Bess, The Virgin Queen
Elizabeth II of England: Gan-Gan and Gary (because her grandchildren had trouble pronouncing "grandmother" just like non-royal children!)
Charles II of England: The Merry Monarch, The Mutton King
Charles VIII of France: The Affable

A Few Good Reasons Not to Mess Around with the Scots!

Kenneth McAlpin: The Conqueror
Donald II: The Madman, The Psycho
Malcolm I: The Murderous Red
Indulf: The Aggressor
Dub: The Vehement
Kenneth II: The Fratricide
Malcolm II: The Destroyer
Duncan I: The Diseased
Macbeth: The Red King (Bloody King?)
Lulac: The Foolish
Edgar: The Valiant
Alexander I: The Fierce
William I: The Lion, The Rough
William Wallace: The Hammer and Scourge of England
Robert the Bruce: Braveheart, The Hero King
Robert MacGregor: Rob Roy (the Scottish Robin Hood)

Nations, Countries, Cities and People

England: John Bull, Limies
America: Uncle Sam, Yankees, Rebs, Johnny Reb, The New World
Canada: The Great White North, Canuks
Australia: The Land Down Under, Aussies
Germany: The Fatherland, Teutons
Paris: The City of Lights
Athens: The Cradle of Civilization, The Cradle of Democracy
Rome: The Eternal City, The City of Love
Venice: Bride of the Sea
Florence: The City of Lilies
Budapest: Pearl of the Danube
Dublin: The Fair City
Edinburgh: Auld Reekie
London: Old Smoke
Berlin: The Grey City
Hong Kong: The Pearl of the Orient
Calcutta: City of Palaces, City of Love, City of Joy
Beijing: The Forbidden City
New York: The Big Apple
Chicago: The Windy City
Nashville: Music City
Los Angeles: The City of Angels
Detroit: Motor City
New Orleans: The Big Easy
Las Vegas: Sin City
Beirut: Paris of the Middle East
Palestine: The Holy Land
Jerusalem: The Holy City

Team Nicknames and their Origins

The hulking Baltimore Ravens were nicknamed after a poem: "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe.
The Cincinnati Reds were named after hosiery: they were originally the Red Stockings, then the Redlegs, then just the Reds (which caused problems during the "Red Scare" days!).
The St. Louis Cardinals were also named after hosiery when a female fan admired their leggings' "lovely shade of Cardinal."ť 
The Red Sox and White Sox  were also named after hosiery, at least switching to "sox" from "stockings."
The Pittsburg Pirates adopted their nickname after they were accused of "piracy" for stealing players from other teams!
The Los Angeles Dodgers were originally the Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers.
To this day, no one has any idea what Phillies are, or Hoyas, or Tar Heels, or Billikens, or Keydets, or Seawolves, or Purple Eagles!
Other inexplicable team names include The Stanford Cardinal (the color without an object?), The Minnesota Wild (wild what?), the Philadelphia Soul (do they all share one collective soul?), the Idaho Vandals, the TCU Horned Frogs, and the hands-down winner, the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs (a banana slug is ugly, oozy, slimy, repulsive ... eeek!).

Sports Franchise, Team and Group Nicknames

The Big Red Machine (Cincinnati Reds)
Purple People Eaters (Minnesota Vikings defense)
Orange Crush (Denver Broncos defense)
Legion of Boom (Seattle Seahawks secondary)
The Over-the-Hill-Gang (Washington Redskins under George Allen, after he traded several draft picks for older players)
Air Coryell (San Diego Chargers under pass-happy coach Don Coryell and quarterback Dan Fouts)
Flames (Calgary)
Devils (New Jersey, at least they're honest!)
Grizzlies (Memphis)
Titans (Tennessee, the Titans were the original badass gods!)
Exotic Smashmouth (the Tennessee Titans' offensive style)
Predators (Nashville, because they found a sabertooth while digging the stadium's foundation!)
Aints (the New Orleans Saints, when they were the worst team in the NFL and fans were wearing bags over their heads)
Lastros (the Houston Astros when they lost a club-record 111 games in 2013)
Miracle Mets and Amazin' Mets (when the previously incompetent New York Mets became world champions in 1969)


Top Ten Athlete Nicknames

Wilt Chamberlain: Wilt the Stilt (because he was so tall), Goliath, the Big Dipper (the nickname he preferred; he had to dip his head to enter rooms)
Pete Rose: Charlie Hustle (because he ran to first base on walks and was an always fierce, fiery competitor)
"Pistol" Pete Maravich (because he was hot as a pistol and would "shoot from the hip" as a young basketball player)
Reggie White: The Minister of Defense (he was an ordained pastor and a defensive lineman)
Ted Williams: The Splendid Splinter, Teddy Ballgame, The Kid, Thumper, The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived
Earvin "Magic" Johnson
Dominique Wilkins: The Human Highlight Reel (because of his spectacular moves and dunks)
Charles Barkley: The Round Mound of Rebound, Sir Charles
Joe DiMaggio: Joltin' Joe, The Yankee Clipper, Mr. Monroe
David "Skywalker" Thompson

The Greatest of the Great

Muhammad Ali: The Greatest, The People's Champion, The Louisville Lip, Pretty Boy, Ali
Wayne Gretzky: The Great One
Jim Thorpe: Bright Path (his Native American name), The Greatest Athlete in the World (King Gustav V)
James Cleveland Owens: Jesse, Black Magic, The Buckeye Bullet
Florence Griffith Joyner: Flo-Jo
George Herman Ruth: The Babe, The Bambino, The Sultan of Swat, The Colossus of Clout, The Caliph of Clout, The King of Crash, The Big Fellow, The Big Bam
Mildred Ella Didrikson Zaharias: Babe (because she hit five home runs in one game as a girl)
Sandy Koufax: The Left Hand of God
Edson Arantes do Nascimento: Pelé, Dico, The Black Pearl, The King
Mariel Margaret Hamm: Mia, Mamma Mia!, Jordan, The Franchise
Jack Nicklaus: The Golden Bear (because he was "large, strong and blond")
Michael Jordan: Air Jordan, His Airness, Money, Michael, MJ, Magic Jordan, Black Cat, Captain Marvel
Harold "Red" Grange: The Galloping Ghost (because he was so elusive and hard to find, much less tackle)
Rod Laver: The Rocket
Christine Evert: Chris, Chrissy, Chrissy America, America's Sweetheart, Ice Maiden, Ice Princess, Ice Queen, Little Miss Cool, Little Miss Perfect, Poker Face, Remorseless
Richard Petty: The King
Michael Phelps: GOAT, Mr. Swimming, Superman, Mr. Olympics, Mr. Olympia, The Baltimore Bullet, The Flying Fish, The Pool Shark, Gold Rush, The Medal Monopolizer (MRB)
Willie Mosconi: Mr. Pool

After setting the football (soccer) world on fire in 1958, when he led Brazil to the World Cup championship, Pelé was declared a "national treasure" by Brazil's president, in order to keep him from leaving for richer nations. That, my friends, is true greatness!

Honorable Mention: Larry "Legend" Bird, "Dollar" Bill Bradley, Darryl "Chocolate Thunder" Dawkins, George "The Iceman" Gervin, Darrell "Dr. Dunkenstein" Griffith, Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch, Allen "The Answer" Iverson, Karl "The Mailman" Malone, Peyton "The Sherriff" Manning, Earl "The Pearl" Monroe, Stan "The Man" Musial, Gary "The Glove" Payton, Walter "Sweetness" Payton, Oscar "The Big O" Robertson, Ozzie "The Wizard of Oz" Smith, David "Skywalker" Thompson, Marvin "The Human Eraser" Webster

Oddest Nicknames

Beer: In 1910, a player by the name of Beer played 10 games for the Lancaster Lanks of the Ohio State League
Dick Allen: Wampum Walloper (someone was apparently a fan of alliteration)
Shaun White: The Flying Tomato (because he has red hair and flies through the air a lot)
Adrian "Cap" Anson: Baby, The Marshalltown Infant, Old Man Anson, Pop, Papa, Pappy (see the note at the end of the "A" section)
Joe Hornung: Ubbo Ubbo (because that's what he would cry when he made a good play in the outfield)
Jimmy Wynn: The Toy Cannon (because he was short, but launched a lot of home runs)
Ron LeFlore: Twinkle Toes Boscoe (because of his speed)
Bill Dickey: The Man Nobody Knows (because he was a great player, but bland)
Arlie Latham: The Freshest Man on Earth (because of his pranks)
Urbain Jacques Shockor: Urban Shocker (his nickname was apparently created by a primitive spell checker)
Donald Stanhouse: Stan The Man Unusual (he carried a stuffed gorilla to games and would erupt into primal screams)
"Ugly" Johnny Dickshot (don't ask and we won't tell)
Greg Minton: Moonie, Moonman (he sunbathed in the nude and ended up with more "craters" than the moon!)
Andreaz "Greedy" Williams: Not because he's a DB greedy for interceptions, but because as a baby he was greedy for formula!
William Van Winkle Wolf: Chicken Wolf (with that name, did he really need a nickname?)
Cristiano Ronaldo: Crybaby (because as a boy he would cry when his teammates wouldn't pass him the ball)


John Wooden: The Wizard of Westwood
Vince Lombardi: The Pope; he was also one of Fordham's "Seven Blocks of Granite"
Paul "Bear" Bryant
General Bob Neyland (Bear Bryant said he was glad when General Neyland retired because he never beat him in seven tries!)
Bobby Knight: The General (not his actual rank), The Dark Knight
Arnold "Red" Auerbach
Glenn Scobey "Pop" Warner
Steve Spurrier: Steve Spurious, The Mouth of the South, The Gator Baiter, Head Ball Coach, Head Game Coach (FOX)
Phillip Fulmer: Phil, The Anti-Spurrier (MRB)
William Swinney: Dabo (his younger brother called him "that boy" but struggled with the letters "t" and "y")
Mike Krzyzewski: Coach K, Eye Chart, Scrabble 
Phil Jackson: Action Jackson, The Zen Master, PJ, The Mop, Bones, Coat Hanger, Head 'n' Shoulders
Wayne Woodrow "Woody" Hayes
Glenn "Bo" Schembechler

Most Poetic Names

Knute Rockne
Dan Devine
Amos Alonzo Stagg
Dick "Night Train" Lane
Bernie Bierman
Bobby Bowden
Joe Paterno
Nick Saban
Dan Gable

Their Actual Names

Dean Smith
Walter Camp
Fielding Yost
Urban Meyer
Johnny Majors
Darrell Royal

Athlete Nicknames (in alphabetic order by last name)


Henry Aaron: Hank, Hammerin' Hank, Hammer, Bad Henry, Oh! Henry
Muhammad Ali: The Greatest, The People's Champion, The Louisville Lip, Ali
Dick Allen: Crash, Richie, Wampum Walloper
Lance Alworth: Bambi
George Anderson: Sparky, Captain Hook
Adrian "Cap" Anson: Captain, Cap, Ada, Anse, Hoss, The Swede, Baby, The Marshalltown Infant, Old Man Anson, Pop, Papa, Pappy, Uncle, Unk
Luke Appling: Old Aches and Pains, Luscious Luke
Douglas Atkins: Doug, The Strongest Man in the World, The Destroyer, King Kong, The Big Guy, Tiny, Oak Tree Arms (Atkins was 6-8, 275 pounds in the 1950s, but he was also a high jump champion and a freakish athlete for his day)

If Cap Anson's nicknames seem to be "all over the place," they actually make sense. He was called "The Marshalltown Infant" because he was the first white child born in the Iowa town. He was called "Baby" when he was young as a joke because he was very big for his day, at 6-foot-2 and 200 pounds. (Later in life, when he would complain to refs and umpires, his opponents would invoke the old nickname.) He was also called "Hoss" because of his size. He was called "Captain" and variations because he was a longtime captain of the Chicago Cubs. Because he played as a grizzled veteran, he was eventually called "Old Man Anson," "Pop," etc. by the younger players. The only nickname that didn't really fit him was "Swede," but then he did have light hair and ruddy skin and probably looked a bit Swedish.


Shooty Babitt
Ernie Banks: Mr. Cub
Frank Baker: Home Run Baker
Charles Barkley: The Round Mound of Rebound, Sir Charles
Boris Becker: Boom Boom
Chuck Bednarik: Concrete Charlie
Bill "Ding Dong" Bell
James Bell: Cool Papa Bell
Brandon "Baby Giraffe" Belt (because of his odd gait when he runs)
Johnny Bench: The Binger Banger
Chief Bender
Lawrence Peter Berra: Yogi (see the explanatory note below)
Eric Berry: The Fifth Dimension
Jerome Bettis: The Bus
Larry "Legend" Bird
Curt Blefary: Clank (Frank Robinson claimed it was the sound the ball made when it banged against Blefary's glove!)
Bert "Be Home" Blyleven (coined by Chris Berman)
Wade Boggs: The Chicken Man (because the superstitious Boggs ate chicken before every game!)
Boof Bonser
Bjorn Borg: Ice Borg
Jim Bottomley: Sunny Jim
Lou Boudreau: Old Shufflefoot, Handsome Lou, The Good Kid
Dennis Boyd: Oil Can Boyd
"Dollar" Bill Bradley
Milton Bradley
Mordechai Brown: Three Finger (he lost two fingers in farming equipment accidents)
Kobe Bryant: The Black Mamba
Paul "Bear" Bryant
Richard Butkus: Dick, The Enforcer, The Animal, The Maestro of Mayhem, The Robot of Destruction

Yogi Berra was the inspiration for the name of the famous cartoon character Yogi Bear. Their names became inevitably and irretrievably linked, to the extent that when Yogi Berra died, the Associated Press wire service announced the death of Yogi Bear to newspapers around the world! (Honest to God, no one can make these things up!) So how did Lawrence Peter Berra come to be called "Yogi" in the first place? Was he really a swami? No, but he used to sit cross-legged in the on-deck circle. One of his friends started calling him "Yogi" and the nickname stuck.


George Cafego: Bad News
Hector Camacho: Macho Camacho
Roy Campanella: Campy
Wilt Chamberlain: Wilt the Stilt (because he was so tall), Goliath, the Big Dipper (the nickname he preferred; he had to dip his head to enter rooms) /bookmark/
Steve Carlton: Lefty
Vince Carter: Air Canada, Vinsanity
"Stormin'" Norman Cash: Norm
Orlando Cepeda: The Baby Bull
Jack Clark: Jack the Ripper
Will "the Thrill" Clark
Roger Clemens: The Rocket
Roberto Clemente: Arriba, Bob
Ty Cobb: The Georgia Peach
Dave Concepcion: El Rey ("The King")
Jimmy Connors: Jimbo, The Brash Basher of Belleville (Bud Collins)
Fred Couples: Bam Bam
"Wahoo" Sam Crawford
Coco Crisp
Mike Curtis: The Animal


"Bad" Bill Dahlen
"Caveman" Johnny Damon
Darryl Dawkins: Chocolate Thunder (a nickname given him by Stevie Wonder!)
Chili Davis
Eric "the Red" Davis (because he played for the Cincinnati Reds)
Glen Davis: Big Baby
Andre Dawson: The Hawk
Jay Hannah Dean: Dizzy Dean, Diz, The Great Man (*)
Paul Dee Dean: Daffy Dean (*)
Oscar de la Hoya: The Golden Boy
Bill Dickey: The Man Nobody Knows (because he was a great player, but bland)
"Ugly" Johnny Dickshot (don't ask and we won't tell)
Pickles Dilhoeffer
Joe DiMaggio: Joltin' Joe, The Yankee Clipper
Clyde Drexler: The Glide
Don Drysdale: Big D
Roberto Duran: Hands of Stone
Leo Durocher: The Lip, Lippy
Lenny Dykstra: Nails

(*) Dizzy and Daffy Dean were brothers and teammates on the Saint Louis Cardinals. Dizzy Dean was the last National League pitcher to win 30 games. While "Dizzy" really did act dizzy at times, his brother's nickname was more of a media creation. Other colorful team nicknames included Dazzy Vance and Ducky Medwick.


Dale Earnhardt Sr.: The Intimidator
Dennis Eckersley: Eck
Carl Edwards: The String Bean Slinger
Welton Claude Ehrhardt: Rube
Julius Erving: Dr. J.
Eric "Butterbean" Esch
Darrell Evans: Howdy Doody
Dwight Evans: Dewey
Johnny Evers: The Crab, Trojan
Christine Evert: Chris, Chrissy, Chrissy America, America's Sweetheart, Ice Maiden, Ice Princess, Ice Queen, Little Miss Cool, Little Miss Perfect, Poker Face, Remorseless


Ferris Fain: Burrhead, Cocky
Brett Favre: The Gunslinger, Country
William Beattie Feathers: Beattie, Big Chief
Bob Feller: Rapid Robert, The Heater from Van Meter
Sid Fernandez: El Sid
Mark Fidrych: The Bird
Prince Fielder: Uncle Phil
Carlton Fisk: Pudge
Eric Floyd: Sleepy
Whitey Ford: The Chairman of the Board
Ray Fosse: The Marion Mule
George Foster: The Destroyer (his ebony bat even had its own nickname: "The Black Death"), Yahtzee
Nellie Fox: Mighty Mite
Jimmy Foxx: XX, Double-X, The Beast
Frankie Frisch: The Fordham Flash


Phil Garner: Scrap Iron
Ralph Garr: The Roadrunner
Lou Gehrig: The Iron Horse, Buster, Biscuit Pants, Columbia, Laruppin'
Charlie Gehringer: The Mechanical Man, G-Man
Jim Gentile: Diamond Jim
Cesar Geronimo: Chief (because he shared the name of the famous Native American war-leader)
George Gervin: The Iceman
Bob Gibson: Hoot, Gibby
Artis Gilmore: The A-Train
Jim Glasscock: Pebbly Jack
Lefty Gomez: Goofy
Dwight Gooden: Doc, Dr. K
Dee Gordon: Flash, Varis Strange, Flash Gordon Jr.
Joe Gordon: Flash
Tom Gordon: Flash
Leon Allen Goslin: Goose Goslin
Rich Gossage: Goose Gossage
Mark Grace: Amazing, Gracie, Little Hurt
Harold Grange: Red, The Galloping Ghost (because he was so elusive and hard to tackle)
Jim Grant: Mudcat
"Hammerin'" Hank Greenberg
"Mean" Joe Greene
Wayne Gretzky: The Great One
Ken Griffey Jr: Junior, The Natural, The Kid
Darrell Griffith: Dr. Dunkenstein
Burleigh Grimes: Ol' Stubblebeard
Tony Gwynn: Captain Video


Dan Hampton: The Danimal
Bryce Harper: Harp, Bam Bam, Mondo, Big Kid
Charles Leo Hartnett: Gabby, Old Tomato Face
Connie Hawkins: Hawk
Ed Head
Thomas Hearns: The Hitman
Richie Hebner: The Gravedigger
Harry Heilmann: Slug (he was a hard-hitting slugger, but very slow!)
Todd Helton: The Toddfather
Rickey Henderson: The Man of Steal
Tommy Henrich: The Clutch, Old Reliable
Derrick Henry: The Yulee Express
Travis Henry: Cheese
Felix Hernandez: King Felix
Orel Hershiser: Bulldog
Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsch
Evander "The Real Deal" Holyfield
Harry Hooper: Hoop
Rogers Hornsby: Rajah
Bernard Hopkins: The Executioner
Joe Hornung: Ubbo Ubbo
Frank Howard: Hondo, The Capital Punisher
Ryan Howard: Big Piece
Gordon Howe: Gordie, Mr. Hockey
Oscar de la Hoya: The Golden Boy
Al Hrabosky: The Mad Hungarian, Hungo
Carl Hubbell: King Carl, The Meal Ticket
Jim Hunter: Catfish Hunter


Pete Incaviglia: Inky, Oops (he was a notoriously poor defensive outfielder)
Happy Iott: Happy Jack, Biddo
Monford Merrill Irvin: Monte, Mr. Murder
Frank Isbell: Bald Eagle
Allen Iverson: The Answer


"Shoeless" Joe Jackson (he once played a baseball game without shoes because he had boils on his feet)
Mark Jackson: Action Jackson
Reggie Jackson: Mr. October (because he came through in baseball's playoffs and World Series)
Travis Jackson: Stonewall
Vincent Edward Jackson: Bo, Bo Knows, Boar, Wild Boar
Lionel "Little Train" James
Fergie Jenkins: Fly
Calvin Johnson: Megatron
Earvin "Magic" Johnson
Randy Johnson: The Big Unit
Walter Johnson: The Big Train, Barney
Adam Jones: Pacman
Ed "Too Tall" Jones
Michael Jordan: Air Jordan, His Airness, Money, Michael, MJ, Magic Jordan, Black Cat, Captain Marvel
Ralph "Shug" Jordan


Al Kaline: Mr. Tiger, Salty, Line
Jim "Machine Gun" Kelly
Willie Keeler: Wee Willie
George Kelly: Highpockets
Shawn Kemp: Reign Man
Harmon Killebrew: Killer
Andrew Knapp: Knapp Time
Mike "Captain Crunch" Kolen
Sandy Koufax: The Left Hand of God
Rusty Kuntz


Pete LaCock
Napoléon Lajoie: Nap, Larry Lajoie, The Frenchman
Daryle Lamonica: The Mad Bomber
Dick "Night Train" Lane
Arlie Latham: The Freshest Man on Earth
Rod Laver: The Rocket
Bill Lee: Spaceman
Ron LeFlore: Twinkle Toes Boscoe
Ivan Lendl: Ivan the Terrible
"Sugar" Ray Leonard (after "Sugar" Ray Robinson)
Jared Lorenzen: Hefty Lefty, The Pillsbury Throwboy
Marshawn Lynch: Beast Mode


Karl Malone: The Mailman (because he always delivers)
Ray Mancini: Boom-Boom
Peyton Manning: The Sherriff
Mickey Mantle The Mick, Muscles, the Commerce Comet
"Pistol" Pete Maravich (because he was hot as a pistol and would "shoot from the hip" as a young basketball player)
Willie Mays: The Say Hey Kid (because as a young player he would "say hey" a lot)
Willie McCovey: Stretch
John McEnroe: Johnny Mac, McBrat, SuperBrat, Mac the Strife, Big Mac, Mighty Mouth, The Incredible Sulk
Fred McGriff: Crime Dog
Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish: Cal
Steve "Mongo" McMichael
Joe Medwick: Ducky
Ten Million (perhaps that many guesses what his parents were on when they conceived him?)
Greg Minton: Moonie, Moonman
Johnny Mize: The Big Cat
Paul Molitor: The Ignitor, Molly
Wonderful Terrific Monds
Earl "The Pearl" Monroe
Joe "Cool" Montana
Joe Morgan: Little Joe
Stan Musial: The Man, Stan the Man, Stan the Man Unusual


Bronislaum "Bronko" Nagurski
"Broadway" Joe Namath; also Mr. Pantyhose
Larry Nance: The High Ayatolla of Slamola 
Ilie Nastase: Nasty
Martina Navratilova: Ex-Czech 
Hal Newhouser: Prince Hal
Charles Augustus Nichols: Kid Nichols
Phil Niekro: Knucksie
Greg Norman: The Great White Shark
Joe Nuxhall: Nuxy


Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon
Christian Okoye: The Nigerian Nightmare
Shaquille O'Neal: Shaq, Shaq Diesel, Shaq Daddy, Shaq Fu, Big Aristotle, The Big Baryshnikov, Big Fella, The Big Maravich, The Big Shamrock, Wilt Chamberneezy, Superman, Manny Shaquiao, MDE, LCL
Jim O'Rourke: Orator Jim
David Ortiz: Big Papi
Melvin Thomas Ott: Mel, Master Melvin


Leroy Robert Paige: Satchel Paige
Dick Padden
Robert Parrish: The Chief
Gary "The Glove" Payton
Walter Payton: Sweetness
Tony Perez: Big Dog, Big Doggie, Mr. Clutch, The Mayor of Riverfront Park
William "the Refrigerator" Perry
Richard Petty: The King
Michael Phelps: GOAT, Mr. Swimming, Superman, The Baltimore Bullet, The Flying Fish, The Pool Shark, Gold Rush, The Medal Monopolizer
Jake "the Snake" Plummer
Dick Pole
Albert Pujols: The Machine, MV3 (for three MVP awards), El Hombre ("The Man"), Prince Albert, Sir Albert, Phat Albert, Big Al


Kevin Quackenbush: Quack
Wellington Hunt Quinn: Wimpy
Dan Quisenberry: Quiz


Dick Radatz: The Monster (a nickname given him by Mickey Mantle; Radatz stood 6'6" and weighed 230-260 pounds)
Charles Radbourn: Old Hoss
Tim Raines: Rock (he lived up to his nickname by stashing a cocaine rock in his uniform; he would slide headfirst to avoid breaking it!)
Harold Reese: Pee Wee Reese
Bryant "Big Country" Reeves
Jack "Hacksaw" Reynolds
Oscar Robertson: The Big O
David Robinson: The Admiral (he played basketball for the Naval Accademy and served in the Navy)
Jerry Rice: Flash 80
Sam Rice: Man O' War (because he was fast, like the famous racehorse)
Cal Ripken Jr.: The Iron Man

Andre "Bad Moon" Rison (coined by Chris Berman)
Phil Rizzuto: Scooter
Brooks Robinson: Hoover, The Human Vacuum Cleaner, The Hit Robber
David Robinson: The Admiral (he served in the U.S. Navy)
"Sugar" Ray Robinson
Dennis "the Worm" Rodman
Pete Rose: Charlie Hustle (because he ran to first base on walks and was an always fierce, fiery competitor)
Ken Rosewall: Muscles, The Little Professor, The Magician
George Herman Ruth: The Babe, The Bambino, The Sultan of Swat, The Colossus of Clout, The Caliph of Clout, The King of Crash, The Big Fellow, The Big Bam
Nolan Ryan: The Ryan Express, The Exorcist (Dick Sharon said: "He's baseball's exorcist; he scares the devil out of you!")


Johnny Sain: The Man of a Thousand Curves (because his curveball had such movement)
John Salley: Spider
"Pistol" Pete Sampras
Ryne Sandberg: Ryno
Deion Sanders: Prime Time, Neon Deion
Pablo Sandoval: Kung-Fu Panda
Tom Seaver: Tom Terrific, The Franchise
Razor Shines
Urbain Jacques Shockor: Urban Shocker
Al Simmons: Bucketfoot Al
O. J. Simpson: Juice, The Juice
Mike Singletary: The Samurai
George Sisler: Gorgeous George
Enos Slaughter: Country
Ozzie Smith: The Wizard of Oz, The Wizard, The Wiz (because of his magical glove at shortstop)
Edwin Snider: Duke Snider, The Silver Fox
Tim Spooneybarger
Kenny "the Snake" Stabler
Donald Stanhouse: Stan The Man Unusual
Willie Stargell: Pops
Roger Staubach: Captain America, Captain Comeback, Roger the Dodger
Kordell "Slash" Stewart
Ryan "Doesn't Suck" Succop: the former Mr. Irrelevant broke the NFL record for consecutive field goals made from under 50 yards (56 straight!)
Bob Suffridge: Suff, Suffer, Fridge
Noah Syndergaard: Thor (because of the long, flowing blond hair and perhaps because his last name ends like "Aasgard")

The scoring-challenged Tennessee Titans may have to "suck up" to Succop if they want to have winning seasons and make the playoffs. In some games, such as the Titans' 12-9 overtime win against the Browns on October 22, 2017, Ryan "Suck It Up" Succop generated all the points. It the previous game, the former Mr. Irrelevant kicked five field goals. For three seasons (2015-2017), Succop was "Mr. Perfect" with a 100% success rate on 56 consecutive field goal attempts of 50 yards or less.


Jack Tatum: The Assassin
Lawrence Taylor: LT
Patsy Tebeau and Pussy Tebeau (their parents either hated them or had "A Boy Named Sue" thing in mind!)
Bill Terry: Memphis Bill
Frank Thomas: The Big Hurt
Isaiah Thomas: Zeke
David Thompson: Skywalker
Dickie Thon (thank goodness there is no ending "g")
Jim Thorpe: Bright Path (his Native American name), The Greatest Athlete in the World (King Gustav V)
"Marvelous" Marv Throneberry
Cannonball Titcomb
George Trafton: The Brute
Harold Joseph Traynor: Pie Traynor
Dick Trickle
Justin Turner: Ginger Werewolf, Raking Redhead, Heavy Metal Amish Leprechaun
"Iron" Mike Tyson


Johnny Unitas: Johnny U, The Golden Arm
Gene Upshaw: Uptown Gene, The Governor, Mean Gene
Melvin Upton Jr.: B. J., Bossman Junior (his father Manny was nicknamed "The Bossman")
Justin Upton: Just In Time Upton


Charles Arthur Vance: Dazzy
Joseph Floyd Vaughan: Arky (he was born in Arkansas)
Shane Victorino: The Flyin' Hawaiian


George Edward Waddell: Rube Waddell
Johannes Peter Wagner: Honus, Hans, The Flying Dutchman
Lloyd Waner: Little Poison
Paul Waner: Big Poison
Marvin Webster: The Human Eraser
Jerry West: The Logo, Mr. NBA, Mr. Clutch, Mr. Outside, Zeke from Cabin Creek, Tweety Bird
Shaun White: The Flying Tomato
Reggie White: The Minister of Defense (he was an ordained pastor and a defensive lineman)
Dominique Wilkins: The Human Highlight Reel (because of his spectacular moves and dunks)
Carnel "Cadillac" Williams
Mitch Williams: Wild Thing
Ted Williams: The Splendid Splinter, Teddy Ballgame, The Kid, Thumper, The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived
William Van Winkle Wolf: Chicken Wolf (did he need a colorful nickname, really?)
John Wooden: The Wizard of Westwood
Eldrick "Tiger" Woods
Jimmy Wynn: The Toy Cannon (because he was short, but launched a lot of home runs)


Xavier McDaniel: The X-Man


Carl Yastrzemski: Yaz
Moses J. Yellowhorse: Chief Yellow Horse (a Pawnee, he was the first full-blooded Native American to play major league baseball)
Peter Rudolph York: Rudy
Eddie Yost: The Walking Man
Denton True Young: Cy Young (because his fastball was like a cyclone!)
Ross Youngs: Pep
Robin Yount: The Kid
Jack "Blood" Youngblood


Don Zimmer: Popeye (because of his bulging biceps)
Henry Zimmerman, Heinie, The Great Zim
Ryan Zimmerman: Zim, The Z-Man, Mr. Walk-Off
Ben Zobrist: Zorilla

2017 World Series Nicknames

Jose Altuve: Tuve, El Gigante (Altuve's a giant with a bat in his hands, despite standing a diminutive 5'6" )
Cody Bellinger: The Bellringer (I refused to use "CodyLove" and came up with this one instead―MRB)
Carlos Beltran: Ivan, Seńor Octubre (because of his postseason success, a la Reggie Jackson's "Mr. October")
Yu Darvish: Whirling Darvish (MRB)
Evan Gattis: Bull (because of his bullish build and strength)
Ken Giles: 100 Miles Giles (because of his 100-mph heater)
Adrian Gonzalez: A-Gon, El Titan
Marwin Gonzalez: Margo
Curtis Granderson: The Grandyman
Clayton "The Claw" Kershaw
Lance McCullers: Snap Dragon 1 (because of his snappy curve)
Collin McHugh: Snap Dragon 2 (ditto)
Charlie Morton: Ground Chuck (because he induces so many ground balls)
Yasiel Puig: The Wild Horse (coined by Vin Scully to describe Puig's energetic and reckless baserunning)
Josh Reddick: Red Dawg
Justin "Red" Turner (for the the bright, bushy beard, perhaps?); also Ginger Werewolf, Raking Redhead, Heavy Metal Amish Leprechaun
Chase Utley: The Silver Fox

More Donald Trump Nicknames

Currently Rising Trump Nicknames: Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" But a meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.

Also Rising: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, Dainty Donald, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a sparkly princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies." However, there was considerable confusion: was the correct hashtag #TrumpCurtsy or #TrumpCurtsey with an "e"? Well, the "e" seems a bit more feminine to us, so we are voting for "curtsey" as befitting Her Royal Highness Princess Prima Donna.

Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot. — Michael R. Burch

President Donald Trump signed bills in the  Roosevelt Room of the White House on Monday.

Tiny Hands Trump uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest dictatorial proclamations. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but Man-Baby Trump will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION, but he is no superhero. Short Attention Span Trump is the new official poster child for ADD. According to CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more funlike a cartoon! Such is Trump's latest thought bubble. Fortunately Trigger Finger Trump's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for lack of trying!

President Donald Trump holds up his pen after signing the Historically Black Colleges and Universities HBCU Executive Order, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017, in the Oval Office in the White House in Washington.

Trump's nannies applaud as the Terrible Tyke learns to operate a pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train his mouth!

"Yay for us! We just robbed 23 million Americans of their healthcare and 53 million of protection from discrimination for preexisting conditions! We are the Winners, and who the hell cares about the losers?" (And why is Trump cheering a bill that he would later call "mean, mean, mean" in private?)

WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 04:  (L-R) U.S. President Donald Trump, Speaker of the House Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), House Majority Whip Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA) and House Majority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) participate in a Rose Garden event May 4, 2017 at the White House in Washington, DC. The House has passed the American Health Care Act that will replace the Obama eraŐs Affordable Healthcare Act with a vote of 217-213.  (Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images)

But have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection. 

We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jared "Jarhead" Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and irreversible.

Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Trump family nicknames: The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch), Donald Duck Dynasty, Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch), The Cold Ones, Children of the Corn, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Bitches of Eastwick

Marco Roboto
hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!

Donald Trump Nicknames, by Category

Mr. Wiggy Piggy and Wiggly Piggly
Duke Nuke 'Em, Dr. Strangelove, The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (along with George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
King of the Whoppers, Liar-in-Chief, The Lyin' King (pun on "Lion King"), Conman-in-Chief, Don the Con
Birther Boy, Man-Baby, Man-Toddler, Bratman, Boss Baby, the Terrible Tyke, the Combover Kid
Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher), Porky Pig and New York Pork Dork (because Trump and his companies have taken so much "pork" from federal, state and local governments)
A$$aulter-in-Chief, Hair Groepenfuehrer, Donald DeGonad, Jack the Gripper, Octopussy Groper and Serial Feeler — see Donald Trump's War on Women
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
Hair Hitler and Hair Furor (puns on Herr Hitler and Herr Fuhrer)
The New Furor, Trumpen Furor, Mein Furor, Mein Trumpf, Mein Hair, Shitler, Twitler, Adolph Twitler, Drumpfkoff, Cinnamon Hitler, Ginger Hitler, Gingervitis (Michael R. Burch), Der Pumpkinfurher, The Apprentice Führer (Ben Judah), Mango Mussolini, Casino Mussolini (Samantha Bee), Mussolini's Taint, Hairman Mao, Tsar Trumpov, Dear Leader, Genghis Can't (Michael R. Burch), The Orange Oligarch, The Gollygarch, Baron Trump, the Tin-Pot Despot (Nicholas Kristof)
Primadonald, Prima Donna, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina (Michael R. Burch)
The Big Dipper, The Little Dipper, The Ginger Genuflector (Michael R. Burch), Little Miss Teapot
Hippo-CRAZY, The Hypocritic Oaf (Michael R. Burch), Quasi-Dodo (Michael R. Burch), The Hunchback of Notre Shame (Michael R. Burch)
Darth Hater, Forrest Trump, Painman, Donnie Darko, Donnie Dorko and Damien Trump (after the Antichrist figure in the Omen movies)
The Beast, Little Horn, and The Great Whore of Babble-On — God and the Hebrew prophets (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)

Nicknames of Trump's Family, Friends, Cabinet and Associates

Trump Immediate Family and Most Intimate Friends

Trump family nicknames: The Brooklyn Hillbullies, Donald Duck Dynasty, Children of the Corn, The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, Poor Little Bitch Kids, Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse, The Cold Ones

Donald Trump nicknames: The Donald, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poodle, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, Comrade Trumputin, The Russian Mole, Russian's Unwitting Agent, Moscow's Useful Fool, Agent Orange, The Trump of Doom, The ANTICHRIST

Vladimir Putin nicknames: Vova, Abaddon (the Angel of Death), Vlad the Impaler, Vladula, Pale Moth (his KGB code name), Darth Vladimir, The Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, Blonde Bond, The Puppet Master, Trump's Controller, The BEAST

Sergey Kislyak nicknames: The Recruiter, The Mole Man, Russia's Top Spy, Trump's Handler, The Impresario

Boris Epshteyn nicknames: Bore Us (his high school nickname), Boris Badenov, Putin's Proxy, The Russian Surrogate, The Rat, The Mole, Moscow's Investment Guru, Frankenstein Epshteyn

Ivanka Trump nicknames: Ivanka Wanker, Ivanka Spanker, Proxy Wife, Nordic Goddess, Norwegian Wood Inducer, The First Lady-Daughter, The Real First Lady, Mrs. Kushner, Kushner's Crush, Kushner's Cush Toy, The Smart One

Jared Kushner nicknames: Little Jared (Ana Navarro), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Cushy Kushner, Trump's Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL), Jarhead, Jared "the Red" Kushner, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos), The Preppie Neo-Con, Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump), Jivanka, Jervanka, Ivanka's Krush, Nimrod (Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon), The Neophyte, Jared the Unready, Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)

Donald Trump Jr. nicknames: Junior, Dunce Jr., Ponyboy, Bozo Boy, Booby, Chip Off the Old Blockhead, The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

Eric Trump nicknames: Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, Eric of Orange, Eric Idle, Mr. Alt-Right, Mr. Roboto

Tiffany Trump nicknames: Tiff, Wild Card, The Other Daughter, Any Tiff, Tiff Fanny, Fit Fanny

Barron Trump nicknames: Mini-Donald, Little Donald, Poor Little Rich Boy

Melania Trump nicknames: The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd), Melania Antoinette, First Babe, Melanoma, The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan), The Swamp Queen, Tinderella, The Trump Sitter, The Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in Isreal), TerminEX, (ditto), The Black Widow, Pussy Bow (because she wore a "pussy bow" to the St. Louis debate), Double Agent (Christen Clifford suggested that the "pussy bow" was a feminist rebuke of her husband's pussy groping), Agent 69, The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley), Mater Harry (pun on Mata Hari and Dirty Harry), Eye Candy, KKK (her bra size)

The "Big Six" or "Deep State Six"

Paul Ryan nicknames: Lyin' Ryan, Cryin' Ryan, Paul Pot, Pious Paul, Paul Ruin, Small-Ball Ryan, Beaver Cleaver, Eddie Munster, Alfalfa, Mr. 1%, A-ryan, Brown Nose (he was voted "Biggest Brown-Noser" by his graduating class in 1988), Nana Killer, The Granny Killer, Rathole, Trump's Cheerleader (Dan Rather), Ryan's Hopeless

Mitch McConnell nicknames: Fuckface McTurtlebitch, The Turtle (Jon Stewart), Dick Turtle, Mitch the Snitch, Mitch the Bitch, Mitch the Snitch-Bitch, Mitch the Glitch, Mitch the Twitch, Mitch the Shitz, Mitch Switch Bait, Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch), Ditch McConnell, The Ditch Dweller

Orrin Hatch nicknames: Orrin Goering, Orrin Moron, Orrin Boring, Borin' Orrin, Boring Snatch, The Hatchling, Half-Hatched Orrin, Down the Hatch Orrin, The Albino Weasel, Mucoso

Steve Mnuchin nicknames: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah

Gary Cohn nicknames: Sachs-man, Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Con Tiki, Globalist Gary, The Government Sacker, The Risk Taker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy

Kevin Brady nicknames: Colonel Klink, Death Warmed Over, Mean Ways Brady, Mr. Secret Payoff, The SalesTaxMan, The Sales Tax Shaman

The Rest of Trump's Inner Circle

Stephen K. Bannon nicknames: Acting President Bannon, Stephen KKK Bannon, Loose Cannon Bannon, Darkness Incarnate, AmeriKlan Idol, Deceivin' Stephen, Darth Vader, Darth Bannon, Sauron, Sour-Hun, The Great Manipulator (TIME), The Great Baby-Man-ipulator, The Great Totipulator, The Amerikan Goebbels, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (David Letterman), Steve "Fan Hate" Bannon, Rupert Murder-Doc, Mr. Destructo, Stephen "Sith Lord" Bannon, Supremacist Steve, The Dark Master of Disaster, Stephen Stipulator, Little Stevie Blunder, The Svengali

Kellyanne Conway nicknames: Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch), The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch), The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni), Motor Mouth (David Horsey), Smelly Anne Con-Job, Con-Way Twitter ("Can we con our way to the presidency, using Twitter?"), Con-Way Twit, "Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell), The Mercenary (Jim Newell), Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi), Free Agent (Joe Scarborough), Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch), Fatal Attraction (SNL), Mistress of Propaganda, Bride of Dracula, Spawn of the Undead, The Crypt Keeper, The Cryptomaniac, The Spinstress (Michael R. Burch)

Paul Manafort nicknames: The Count, The Uber-Lobbyist (David Catanese), Putin's Revenge, Yanukovych's Yankee Yanker, Russian Lobbyist-in-Chief, American Mole, The Ultimate Insider, Knuckles, Steamroller, The Six Million Ruble Man

Roger Stone nicknames: Roger Rabid (Michael R. Burch), Dirty Trickster (Elizabeth Burke), Roger the Artless Dodger, Professional Lord of Mischief, State of the Art Sleazeball, Boastful Black Prince of Sleaze, Roger "Glands of Stone," Ratf*cker, The Most Dangerous Person in America Today (The Village Voice)

Chief of Staff Reince Priebus nicknames: Rinse Penis, Rinse Priapus, Prince Penis, Prince Precipice, Prince Rhesus, Prince Rebus, Princess Reba, RNC PR BS (by removing all vowels), E Priebus Loonum, "Rinse Twice and Spit" Priebus, Prince Precipitous, Rancid Rinse, Rancid Penis, Rinse Repeat, The Mincing Prince, Rimjob Precipuss

Trump foreign policy adviser Carter Page nicknames: Stranichkin (Russian for "little page"), The Window Dresser, Putin's Page Boy, Putin's Pimp, Putin's Apologist, Moscow's Brazen Apologist (Michael Isikoff), Trump's Moscow Mystery Man (Julia Ioffe), The Russian Mole, The Gazprom Greaser, Who? (Corey Lewandowski, Politico, Bill Browder and other Real Experts on Russia)

Sarah Palin nicknames: Sarah Barracuda, Sarahcudda, Caribou Barbie, Half-Baked Alaskan, Moose-o-lini, The Wasilla Gurlilla or Gurlzilla, Whore of Babble-On, The Wasilla Hillbilly, Mama Grizzly, Palin-Drone, McCain's Bane, Weepin'-'n'-Wailin' Sarah Palin (Michael R. Burch)

Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch nicknames: Darth Evader, Goldman Sachs' Rubber Stamp, A$$hole, The Unjust Justice, The Grinder (for grinding ordinary Janes and Joes under the crushing wheels of corporations), The Greek Geek, Fratboy, FIJI-boy and the Fraternizer (for defending his college frat against charges of date rape)

Bill O'Reilly nicknames: Shill O'Reilly, Bull O'Really, Bill O'Goods, The Spin Zone Doctor, The Spin Doktor, The Spin DoKKKtor, Papa Bear (Stephen Colbert), Mr. Sexual HarA$$ment, Sex Beast, Sexual Predator, The Permanent Vacationer, Big O (George W. Bush), Podzilla (since his new medium will be podcasts)

Corey Lewandowski nicknames: Gory Corey, Mr. Assault and Battery, The Lobbyist, Never-Elected (he received a whopping 7 votes in his first election campaign and never won an election), The Wand of Death

Trump's Cabinet

Trump cabinet nicknames and Trump administration nicknames: Monster's Ball (David Axelrod), The White Supremacist House, The Sicko-phants (Michael R. Burch), Trumplandia, The Swamp Cabinet, Ku Klux Kabinet, KKK-Mart, Three-Ring Circus, Killer Klown Kar, The Roundhead Table, The West Wingers, The West Wingnuts, Moscow on the Hudson (Michael R. Burch), The AmeriKKKan Kremlin, The Kremlin Connection, Putin's Puppets, Putin's Proxies, Dr. Strangelove & Co., Dawn of the Brain Dead, The Underlings, The A$$lickers, The Re-Cuss-Ants, The Cowering Inferno, The Undivine Comedy, The Kings of Unintentional Comedy, The Tenth Circle of Hell, Trump's Inner Circle = Trump Sinner Circle

Vice President Mike Pence nicknames: Hoosier, Cuddles, Trumpence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Silver Faux Fox, The Mad Monk, Dense Pence (Michael R. Burch), Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today), Mike Pensive, THE VICEROY, Vice Antichrist

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson nicknames: T-Rex, Rexosaurus, T-Wrecks, Rex Drillerson, Rex Shillerson, Rex Killerson, Rex Billerson, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Rasputin (Michael R. Burch), Rexputin, The Invisible Man, Secretary of Wait (Michael R. Burch), Secretary in State (Michael R. Burch), Deep State Secretary

Secretary of Energy Rick Perry nicknames: Crotch (because he wore tight jeans and "adjusted" himself often), Dumbass, Secretary of the Department of Oops! ("Whazzat? Duh, I forget!"), Rick Fairy, Rick Moronic, Rick Moreanus, Texas Toast

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos nicknames: Cruella DeVos, Cruella DeVile, Diva DeVos, DeVile DeVos, DeVoid DeVos, Devolution DeVos, Wetsy Betsy, Betsy Dross, The Education Terminator, Madame DeVoucher

Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin nicknames: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah

Secretary of Defense James Mattis nicknames: Mad Dog, Warrior Monk, Mad Monk, Chaos (his very appropriate call-sign)

Former Secretary of Defense Mike Flynn nicknames: Dr. Strangelove, In Like Flynnt, Red Flynnstone (Michael R. Burch), "Flynn Facts," Putin's Pawn, Amerika's Angriest General, Flynnskint, Red Flynn, The Canary (because he's about to sing like one)

Secretary of Agriculture George Ervin Perdue III nicknames: Sonny, Ophie Junior (his mother's name was Ophie), The Rainman (he once "prayed up a storm" pleading for rain)

Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke: Rinky-Dink Zinke, The SOFA Commando (Special Operations Fraud & Anarchy), The Bozeman Bozo, The Knife Collector, On-the-Blink Zinke

Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross nicknames: Ross Rothschild (he worked for N. M. Rothschild & Sons), The Bankruptcy King, Wilbur Wrong Force, Heavens to Betsy Ross

Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder nicknames: Putz Puzder, Colonel Klink, CKE-n Little, The Wage Terrorist, The Wage Deflator, The Lowballer, The Burger-Bikini Baron, Randy Andy

Secretary of Labor Alexander Acosta nicknames: Alex, Dean, Trump's Token Hispanic, The Exile (his parents are Cuban refugees)

Secretary of Health & Human Services Tom Price nicknames: The Amerikan Mengele, Tom Sellout, One Man Death Panel, The Six Million Death Man, Tom Thumb, Tom "Profit More" Price, Tom "the Price is Your Life"

Secretary of HUD Ben Carson nicknames: Psychopath (Donald Trump), HUD Ornament (Michael R. Burch), Crazy Ben Carson, Dummy (his childhood nickname), Eli (his Secret Service code name), One Nation (his choice)

Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin nicknames: Skulkin' Shulkin (Michael R. Burch), The Designated Survivor

Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly nicknames: Hobo, The Hitcher (he hopped freighters in his youth), Moonshine ("My first time overseas was taking 10,000 tons of beer to Vietnam!")

Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao nicknames: Mrs. Mitch McConnell, Tiger Wife (Stuart Bloch), Madame Secretary, Fireworks, Short Fuse

Deputy Attorney General Dana J. Boente nicknames: Deputy Dawg, Trump's Lapdog, Barney Fife, Goober, The Decoy

Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein nicknames: Rosey Red, Russian Red, Red Rod, Rowdy Roddy Fib-Piper

Attorney General Jeff Sessions nicknames: The Hobbit (Trevor Noah), Nervous Tick (Conan O'Brien), Kangaroo Court Sessions, Hessian Sessions, Secessionist Sessions, Russian Red Sessions, Rushin' Sessions, Stressin' Sessions (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Stonewall Sessions, Jefferson "No Regard" Sessions (his full name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions), Disjointed Sessions, Nervous Nellie, Detour-ney General, Round-a-Bout Bubba, The Mal-Lingerer, Sgt. Schultz ("I know nutthink!"), General Beau-Beau (rhymes with "Do-Do" like the bird)

Trump's Allies, Supporters, Henchmen, Associates and Lapdogs

White House Pres Secretary Sean Spicer nicknames: Scary Spicer (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Vanilla Spice, Vanilla Spicer, The Spice of Death, Sean Sphincter (College Voice), Hedgehog and Hedge-Dodger (after Spicer hid behind a hedge to avoid reporters), Spittler, Shitler, Twitler, The Holocaust Apologist, The Mouthpiece (David Horsey), Spicy, Motor Mouthpiece, Sean "the Truth Icer" Spicer, Sean "Dawn of the Dead" Spicer, Spokestoady, Spokestwit, Spokestot, Spokesboy, Spokestoddler, Spokestool, Spokesmoron, Spokesliar, Spokeswhiner, Press Reagent, Full Court Press, The Tass A$$, Tass Light, The Tass-manian Devil, Amerikan Goebbels, Wormtongue, Sinister Spice, Little Tattletale Teller, Sauerkraut Spicer, Five Alarm Spicer, The S**t Spicer, Tokyo Rose, Spastic Spicer, Trump's Human Twitter Feed, The Baghdad Bobblehead, Spiced Whiner, Spiced Lice, The Slime Spreader, Skippy, Old Spice, The Depressing Press Secretary, Former Press Secretary, The High Wire Liar

Chair of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz nicknames: Chaff, Chaffy, Chaff-Lips, Chipmunk, Chipmunk Cheeks, Cheeky, No-Tell Hotel Chaffetz, Grandstanding Charlatan (Heather Digby Parton), Jason "Putin on the Ritz" Chaffetz, (Michael R. Burch), Jason and the Ego-Nuts (Michael R. Burch), Half-Assed Chaffetz

House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes nicknames: Known-Nothing Nunes, Numbnuts Nunes, Devin Devil, Nanu Nanu Nunes, See-no-Evil-Hear-no-Evil-but-sure-as-hell-embrace-Evil Nunes

Erik Prince nicknames: The Prince of Darkness, Creature from the Blackwater Lagoon, The Mercenary, Soldier of Misfortune, The Envoy, Trump's Unofficial Russian Envoy

Congressman Dana Rohrabacher: Putin's Favorite Congressman, Putin's Apologist, Putin's Proxy, Assad's AmeriKlan Ally, Dana the Red, Red Dana, Dirty Dana 
SEC Chairman Walter J. Clayton nicknames: Jay, Jaybird, The Bailout King, The Wall Street Jaywalker, Goldman Sacks Washington, Hatin' Clayton

Trump donor Robert Mercer nicknames: Hedge Hog, PACman, Dark Money, The Megadonor, Merciless Mercer, Ming the Merciless, The Cluster Fucker, The Quant King, The Money Man, The Cat Talker, Bob

Trump donor Rebekah Mercer nicknames: Bekah, Bekah Bilker, Bannon's Backer, The Whiny Hellcat

Director of the National Economic Council Gary Cohn nicknames: Sachs-man, Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Con Tiki, Globalist Gary, The Government Sacker, The Risk Taker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy

Legislative Affairs Assistant to the President Marc Short nicknames: Short of the Marc, Shortstop, Shortcut, Koch Addict, Koch Lite, The A$$-istant, Dark Money Marc, Junior Asshole, Short Attention Span Marc, The Dark Money Operative

Comptroller of the Currency nominee Joseph Otting nicknames: Outed Otting (after he claimed to have a degree from Dartmouth that Dartmouth doesn't even offer), "Leave it to Otter" Joe

Felix Sater nicknames: The Margarita Assassin, Felix Satyr, Red Felix, The Hudson on Moscow (Sater worked on plans to build a Trump Tower in Moscow), The Red Turk

Mitt Romney nicknames: Bishop Romney, The RomneyBot, Plastic Man, Bain in the Ass (David Letterman's #1), King of Bain (Newt Gingrich), Mitt the Twit (The Sun of London, Rupert Murdoch), Mr. Magical Undies

Mike Huckabee nicknames: Judas, Huckster Huckabee, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Fuckabee, Huck Upchuck, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike, Triple Wide, Duck Hunter

Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders nicknames: Miss Huckster, Basic Atrocity, Women's Fibber, Sister Smother, Slimy Sellout, Train Wreck, Miss Derailment, Faux News Vixen, Lil' Spice, Less Seasoned Spice

Chris Christie nicknames: Christie Kreme, The Illsbury Dough-Boy, Cookie Monster, Big Boy (George W. Bush), Pork Chop, Enormes Pantalones, Pufferfish, Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Trump's Cream Puff

Ann Coulter nicknames: AnnThrax, Coultergeist, Beltway Barbie, Cuckoo Coulter, Chairman Ann, Ann Coltrear, Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to be sure!)

Joe Arpaio nicknames: Wyatt Twerp, Boss Hogg, Big Pig, The Maricopa Madman, Captain James Tiberius Jerk, Colonel Klink, Officer Loco, Wiley E. Peyote, Lawrence of Insania, Tonto, Prickzilla Queen of the Desert

Jeb Bush nicknames: Tortoise (George W. Bush), Low Energy (Donald Trump), Eveready (Jeb's retort to Trump when asked to pick his Secret Service code name), Veto Corleone, The Bushmaster, Bush League, Gator

Carly Fiorina nicknames: Chainsaw Carly (for all the jobs she cut at HP and Compaq), Golden Parachutress, The Anti-Hillary, Secretariat (her choice for a Secret Service code name)

John Kasich nicknames: Pope (he wanted to be the pope as a boy), Unit One (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Unit Two (his wife's alternate suggestion!)

Rand Paul nicknames: Mr. Nerdy Perm, Mr. Poodle-'Do, Justice Never Sleeps (his choice for a Secret Service code name; he later called it "one of those nicknames you try to make happen and miserably fail")

Scott Walker nicknames: The Desperado (in his high school yearbook), Niedermeyer (after an overly aggressive ROTC leader in the movie Animal House), Scott Balker, Harley (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

Rupert Murdoch nicknames: Rupert Murder-Doc, Papa Doc, Ru Paul (Stephen Colbert), The Last Press Baron (CNN), the Dirty Digger (Ian Hislop), the Mudslinger, the Faux Fox, Murdoch of the Mammaries

Roger Ailes nicknames: Roger the Unartful Dodger, The Sex Cadger Codger, Roger Flogger, Roger the Sex Rabbit, The Predator, The Human Toad (SemDem on Daily Kos)

Sean Hannity nicknames: Sean O'Scammity (Michael R. Burch), Sean of the Dead, Lumpy (Jon Stewart), Handy Hannity, Shammity, Sean Vanity, Sean Insanity, Loverboy, Flubberboy

Trump lawyer Sheri A. Dillon nicknames: Gunsmoke (pun on Matt Dillon), The Smoking Gun, The Hired Gun, Ms. Trust (pun on "mistrust"), Trump's Legal Beagle

Michael Steele nicknames: The Sesame Street Guy (Jon Stewart, who compared him to Grover), The Man of Steal (pun on stealing elections and human rights, two GOP objectives)

Rob Portman nicknames: Beltway Rob, PAC-Man, The Lobbyist, The Insider, The Outsourcer, The Job Robber, Washington's First Porter, Any Port in a Shit Storm, Portmanteau

Rod Blum nicknames: Bloomin' Idiot, The Screener, The Stalker, The Quitter (after Blum stalked out of an interview in which he was asked why he screens attendees of his "public" meetings)

Trump senior political adviser Stephen Miller nicknames: Young Gargamel (Stephen Colbert), Sméagol (Trevor Noah), Basic Henchman  (Trevor Noah), Master of Mendacity (Frank Vyan Walton), Neo-Jackboot (Frank Vyan Walton), The Love-Wall-Builder, "Mad Men" Miller, The Sh*tstreamer, The True Believer & Deceiver

Rudy Giuliani nicknames: Trudy, Julianne, Rudy the Red-Nosed Panderer, Amerika's Scariest Mayor, Rude Rudy, Trump's Scamp-aign Manager, Batshit Crazy Rudy


Trump donor Sylvain Mirochnikoff nicknames: The Trader, The Director, The Exotic Equity Derivatives Trader
Trump spokesperson and attorney Michael D. Cohen nicknames: Kremlin Charlie, Lavrov's Dog (pun on Pavlov's Dog)
Deputy National Security Adviser K. T. McFarland nicknames: Far-Out McFarland, The Ditz, McFibber, The Airhead
Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategy Dina Habib Powell nicknames: Sachs-girl, Sachs Diva
Deputy Chief of Staff Rick Dearborn nicknames: Deputy Lap Dawg, Greenhorn Dearborn, Stillborn Dearborn, Red Rick, Russian Rick
Deputy Communications Director Jessica Ditto nicknames: Ditto, "Ditto That," Miss Redundant, Bevin's Bane, Trump's Blonde Brander  
Personal Aide John McEntee nicknames: Aide de Camp, Aide de Kampf, Teed-Off McEntee
Deputy Chief of Staff Joe Hagin nicknames: Ragin' Hagin
Executive Assistant Madeline Westerhout nicknames: Trump's Toady, Wicked Witch of the Westerhout
Director of Oval Office Operations Keith Schiller nicknames: The Shill
Newt Gingrich nicknames: Tadpole, Angry Tadpole, Angry Muffin (Peggy Noonan), Bloated Bullfrog, The One Stop Lobby Shop
Mike Pompeo nicknames: Pompous Asshole, Putin's Pompous Pimp
Peter Navarro nicknames: The EEKonomist, Bullshitter in the China Shop
Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh nicknames: Welshing Walsh, Katie Bar the Door
Director of Strategic Communications Hope Hicks nicknames: Hopeless Hicks, Tricky Hicky
Antonin Scalia nicknames: Antonin "Scaly" Scalia, Nino (Spanish for "infant"), El Nino, El Ninny
Anthony Scaramucci nicknames: Anthony "Scary" Scaramucci, Scarface
David Melech Friedman nickames: Moloch, Fried Brain Man, Mr. Apartheid, Israel's Goebbels
Sebastian Gorka nicknames: Gorky Park, Dorky Park, The Irregular, The Mad Hungarian, The Hun, The Incredible Shrinking "Expert" Witness
Carl Icahn nicknames: Mr. Delorean, Mr. Bailout, Mr. Too Big Not to Fail, The Grey Grifter, Back to the Suture, The Artful Dodger
Daniel Coates nicknames: Dan, Offshore Dan, Coates of Many Colors
White House Counsel Don F. McGahn nicknames: The Enabler, Cover Artist, Undercover Artist (he does cover songs), Guitar Dan
Michael Dubke nicknames: Mike, Karl Rove Jr., Mystery Man, Happy Warrior
Peter Navarro nicknames: Novice, Nutjob, Ninny
Ajit Pai nicknames: Dark Yoda, The Agitator, The Net Neutrality Negator, The Broadband Baron, Big Brother, Trump's Sinister Swami
Glenn Beck nicknames: Voldemort, Emotional Fescue (Michael R. Burch), American Rhodes, Glen "Weepin'-'n'-Wailin'" Beck
Kevin McCarthy nicknames: Kevin “Loose Lips Sink Ships” McCarthy
Dave Brat nicknames: Bratman, Terrible Tyke, Dark Night of the Soul
Raul Labrador nicknames: Raul "Lapdog" Labrador, Black Lab, Trump's Retriever, Labrador Guppy
Dick Cheney nicknames: The Penguin, Mr. Vice, Big Time (George W. Bush), Duke Nukem
Donald Rumsfeld nicknames: Rummy (George W. Bush), Rheumy, Rheumatoid
Karl Rove nicknames: Turd Blossom (George W. Bush), Turd Polisher (George H. W. Bush), Rover, Red Rover, Red Raver
John Boehner nicknames: Boner (George W. Bush), Orange Man, Trump's Tan Companion
John McCain nicknames: Hogan (George W. Bush), The Maverick (Sarah Palin)
Maureen Dowd nicknames: The Cobra (George W. Bush), Howdy Dowdy, Dowdy Do-Wrong, Fraulein Dowdy
Kayleigh McEnany nicknames: Kellyanne Lite, Inane McEnany, McLiar, Blond Bombshell Exploding into Alternative Facts
Dan Scavino nicknames: Scarface, The Scavenger, Social Media Czar, Trump's Twitter Babysitter (Michael R. Burch)
David Bossie nicknames: Bossy, the Boss, Bessie
Secretary of the Army Mark Green nicknames: Greenhorn, Greensleeves, Emergency!, The Medic, Critical Care, The Homophobe
National Security Adviser General Herbert Raymond McMaster nicknames: Master of Disaster, McMonster, H.R., Bannon's Banisher
Ezra Cohen-Watnick nicknames: The Tapp Dancer, Deep Bloat, The Informant, The Whistleblower (Paul Ryan), Flynn's Flunked Flunkey
Michael Ellis nicknames: Eely Ellis, The Eel, Ellis Islander, Deep Bloat II
John Eisenberg nicknames: The Illegal Eagle, Deep Bloat III, Iceberg
Billy Bush nicknames: Bush League, The Bush Beater
Richard LeFrak nicknames: The Mogul, The Overseer
Harrison LeFrak nicknames: The Brain, Dirty Harry
Chris Ruddy nicknames: Ruddy Buddy, Trump's Spokespal, Newsminion, The Smokescreen, Russian Red Ruddy, Chris Phish, Bad Fungus
Jeff Flake nicknames: The Flake, Snow Flake, Corn Flake, Flake the Snake, Fake Spews
Senator Dean Heller nicknames: Heller High Water, Hell's Bells, The Hellion, The Dean of Healthcare Hell, Hell on Greased Wheels
Tom Cotton nicknames: Cottonmouth, Cotton Candypants, White Fluff, The White Cotton King, Uncle Tom, Tehran Tom
John Cornyn nicknames: Corndog (George W. Bush), Cornpone, Corn Prone, Corncob, Corny, KKK Cornyn
Lamar Alexander nicknames: Hedy, Alexander the Ungreat, The Candyman
John Barrasso nicknames: Bare Ass, The Ass, The A$$hole, Wyoming's Doktor, John-Boy
Mike Lee nicknames: Mikey, The General, The Ungreat Dane, Alito Jr.
Cory Gardner nicknames: The Unconstant Gardner, Tory Cory, The GOP Bad Idea Man, C-Money, The Young Gun, Scattershot
Pat Toomey nicknames: Sock It Toomey, Senator Elevator (because he dodged Trump by hiding in an elevator), Stand Pat Toomey
Mike Enzi nicknames: Hate Frenzy Enzi, The Wyoming Homophobe, The Hate Crime Defender
John Thune nicknames: Out-of-Tune Thune, The Giant Killer
AshLee Strong nicknames: Eddie Munster's Press Secretary, The SpinMistress, The Black Widow
James Comey nicknames: Homey Comey, Show Me Comey, The Election Rigger, Trump's Red-Headed Stepchild
Sam Nunberg nicknames: The Nun, Nanoo Nunberg, Sam the None
Marc E. Kasowitz nicknames: Marc the Narc, Case o' Nits
Barry Bennett nicknames: Bennet Dick Arnold, Bare Net Bennet
Budget Director Mick Mulvaney nicknames: Mick the Prick, Mick the Vain, Whether Vane Mick, Insane Mulvaney
Attorney Jay Sekulow nicknames: Jaybird, Jaywalker, Jay "Seek the Low Road" Sekulow
Nick Ayers nicknames: Airhead Ayers, Hot Air Ayers
Josh Holmes nicknames: Sherlock Holmes's Dumber Brother, Josh "the Dudd" Holmes
Seema Verma nicknames: The Verminator
Johnny DeStefano nicknames: Stephanie, The Sob Boss, The Headhunter, The Rushin' Recruiter, Mr. Flip Flop
Margaret Peterlin nicknames: The Gatekeeper
Brian Hook nicknames: Hook'n'Crook, The Hooker, Mr. Memo

All Donald Trump Nicknames A-Z in Roughly Alphabetical Order

70-Year-Old Toddler — Charles M. Blow and Samantha Bee
Agent Orange — Anonymous
America's Black Mole — John Oliver
America's Burst Appendix — Samantha Bee
Amnesty Don — Joe Scarborough (after Trump said that he was "softening" his stance on illegal immigrants)
Angry Cheeto
Angry Creamsicle — Stephen Colbert
Antichrist — (see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
Art Deal and Mr. "Art of the Deal" — Donald Trump (taken from the title of his 1987 book, which he considers second only to the Bible)
A$$aulter-in-Chief — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
John Baron and John Barron — Donald Trump (pseudonyms he used to brag about his exploits in the third person)
Baron Trump
Big Baby — Lewis Black
The Big Cheeto
Big Donald — Marco Rubio (revised to Pig Donald by feminists)
Bizarro Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Bling the Merciless — Michael R. Burch
Boiled Ham in a Wig — Jon Stewart
Boldfinger — Michael R. Burch
Boss Tweet
The Bouffant Buffoon — Michael R. Burch
The Boychurian Candidate  — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "The Manchurian Candidate")
Brat-Worst — Michael R. Burch (after Trump called Germans "very, very bad" for selling cars in the United States)
The Brooklyn Bolshevik ― Michael R. Burch
Bush Baby and Bush Baby Fingers — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Bushman — Michael R. Burch, after Trump bragged about groping bush to Billy Bush of Access Hollywood
Butternut Squash — Trevor Noah
Captain Chaos — NBC News
Captain Outrageous — Michael R. Burch (a pun on Captain Courageous)
Captain Tantastic
The Chaos Candidate — Jeb Bush
Cheez Doodle — Maureen Dowd
Cheez Whiz — John Oliver
Cheeto-Dusted Bloviator —
Cheeto-in-Chief — Frank Vyan Walton
Cheeto Jesus — Rick Wilson
Chicken Donald — Martin O'Malley
Cinnamon Hitler — Trevor Noah
The Climate Primate — Michael R. Burch
Comedy Entrapment — Jon Stewart
Comrade Cheetolino
Comrade Trumputin
Creep Throat — Seth Meyers
Daddy Warbucks
Damien Trump
Dangerous Donald — Hillary Clinton
Darth eVader and Darth TaxeVader
Darth Goldplater — Michael R. Burch
Darth Hater
Decomposing Jack O'Lantern — Jon Stewart
Deeply Disturbed Fuzzy Orange Goofball
Demander-in-Chief — Michael R. Burch
Der Groepenfuehrer
Der Trumpkopf
Diaper Donald — Kevin Cavanaugh
Dire Abby — Michael R. Burch (a pun on "Dear Abby" because Trump frequently tweets relationship advice to other people, but it's usually dire)
The Dick Tater
Dodgy Donald — CrumblingSlowly
Don the Con
The Donald — Ivana Trump (she first used the term in a 1989 Spy Magazine cover story)
Donald deGonad
Donald the Deadbeat — Dan Rather
Donald Drumpf — John Oliver
Donald Duck
Donald the Menace
Donnie Darko
Donny — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey); also his boyhood nickname
Duke Nuke 'Em
Fascist Carnival Barker — Martin O'Malley
Fat Blabby — Lewis Black
Fatso Bratso ― Michael R. Burch
Feral Shouting Meatball Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
Field Marshall Trump
Fifth Avenue Fraud
Financially Embattled Thousandaire — Gail Collins
Forrest Trump
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (after George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Fragile Soul — Ted Cruz
Fuckface von Clownstick — Jon Stewart
Genghis Cant — Michael R. Burch (because unlike Genghis Khan, the Donald can't rule the world, making his promises mere cant)
Golden Wrecking Ball — Sarah Palin
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — Graydon Carter
The Great White Dope
Groper-in-Chief — Nicholas Kristof (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Hair Apparent — pun on Heir Apparent
Hair Furor — pun on Herr Führer
Hair Hitler — pun on Herr Hitler
Hissy-Fit Hitler ― Elizabeth Harris Burch aka Ladydragyn
The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite
The Human Combover
Human-Toupee Hybrid — Stephen Colbert
Humble — Donald Trump's ironic choice when asked to provide a Secret Service codename
Humble Trump — a nickname given to Donald Trump by his son Eric Trump aka "Eric the Red"
The Hunchback of Notre Shame — Michael R. Burch
Hypocritic Oaf — Michael R. Burch
Jack the Gripper — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Job Security (for Comedians) ― Jimmy Kimmel
Keeper of the Golden Commode ― Michael R. Burch
King Leer
King of the Whoppers — USA Today, Christmas Day, 2015
King Tut — Because his insults make billions of people go "Tut, tut, tut!"
Little Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
Little Donnie Dinglebert — Michael R. Burch
Little Donnie Sissypants ― Michael R. Burch
Lord Voldemort — Rosie O'Donnell
Man-Baby — Jon Stewart
Mango Mussolini
Melania's Burden — Vanity Fair
The Michelangelo of Ballyhoo — TIME by David Von Drehle in his cover article on Trump
John Miller — Donald Trump (a pseudonym he used to brag about his exploits in the third person)
Mogul — his Secret Service code name
Mr. Trickle Down ― Michael R. Burch
Mr. Wiggy Piggy — Michael R. Burch (because he's such a male chauvinist pig, and that hair!)
Mussolini's Taint — Kyle Bunch
New York Pork Dork — Michael R. Burch (because Trump's companies have feasted on government subsidies and tax breaks)
Ole King Coal — Michael R. Burch
Optimus Grime — Michael R. Burch
Orange Anus — Rosie O'Donnell
Orange Julius — A pun on the fruit drink chain (emphasis on fruit) and Julius Caesar
Pig Donald — a variation of Big Donald, coined by Marco Rubio then adapted by feminists
POTUS WRECKS — Michael R. Burch
The Predictable Endpoint of Republicanism — Charles M. Blow
Prima Donald
Puffed Up Daddy
Putin's C*ck-Holster — Stephen Colbert
Putin's Puppet
Putin's Rasputin
Putin's Useful Idiot
Ronald McDonald Trump-Bozo — Michael R. Burch
Screaming Carrot Demon — Samantha Bee
SCROTUS  — So-Called Ruler of the United States, by Elayne Boosler
The Serial Feeler — pun on "serial killer" (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Snake Oil Salesman — Rosie O'Donnell
Sparkly Princess Trumpelina — Michael R. Burch
Stuporman — Michael R. Burch (since Trump's superpower is putting people to sleep and making them dream that he has magical superpowers
Tangerine Tornado — SNL's Church Lady (Dana Carvey)
Terroristic Man-Toddler — Charles M. Blow
Tic-Tac-Dough — Michael R. Burch
The Tin-Pot Despot — Nicholas Kristof
Tiny Hands Trump ― Michael R. Burch
Tricky Trump
Tricky Don Trump — After Tricky Dick Nixon
Trump of Doom — Michael R. Burch (first used in a Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
Trumpelthinskin — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Trumpenstein — Murfster35 on DailyKos
Trumpinator — Soopermexican
Truthophobic Trump — Elizabeth Harris Burch
Twat Twit — (see Donald Trump's War on Women)
Tweet Twit
Tweety Blurred — Michael R. Burch
The Twitter Terror — Michael R. Burch
Vanilla ISIS — Pun on Vanilla Ice
Voldemort ― Rosie O'Donnell
The West Wing-Nut — Michael R. Burch
The White Kanye ― Bill Maher
Widdle Donnie Diaperpants ― Michael R. Burch
The Winning Whiner — Donald J. Trump explained how he "wins" by whining in an interview
World's Greatest Troll — FiveThirtyEight Politics
Xenophobic Sweet Potato Donald Trump — Chris Hardwick
The Zodiac Biller ― Michael R. Burch

Related pages: The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Insults, Donald Trump Curtsy or Bow?, Is there a Republican War on Women?, The Donald Trump Bible or The Gospel According to Trump, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Quotes, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Donald Trump in his Own Words: Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Nicknames for his Cabinet, Family, Friends, Associates and Supporters, Steve Bannon Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Joe Arpaio Nicknames

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