This page contains the best Ivanka Trump nicknames and quotes that I have been able to
find, along with some choice Donald Trump,
Melania Trump, Jared Kushner and other Trump family nicknames ...
The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames
Ivanka Tramp Proxy Wife
Ivanka the Terrible (a pun on "Ivan the Terrible") The First Daughter (Ivanka Herself) and
The First Lady-Daughter
Ivanka Trump, when told she was a “staffer” by Steve Bannon reportedly said:
“I’m not a staffer! I’ll never be a staffer. I’m the First Daughter
and I’m never going to be a staffer!”
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her) and
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her) Trophy Daughter
Daughter Gate and Daughter Grate
Your kids my be all right, but Trump's kids are ALT-right and never say boo
about his racism, chauvinism, homophobia or xenophobic border wall.
Princess Royal (her nickname at the White House, according to insiders)
The Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
The Perfect Hanger (as a model she had the perfect body for hanging clothes) and
Fount of Bad Advice (Steve Bannon, who also said that Donald Trump was like an 11-year-old child)
Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter ... talk about uncomfortable!
Make it the Top Twenty-Five Ivanka Trump Nicknames
Piece of Ass (her father Donald Trump, to Howard Stern)
Hot (Donald Trump) and
Date Material (Donald Trump)
Daddy's Little Lapsitter
Trump's Daughter-Wife (Bill Maher)
The Hot One and The Cold One
The Icemaiden and
First Babe, the Real First Lady and the Surreal First Lady
The Queen of Leaks (Steve Bannon)
The Blonde Bomb Shill (Michael R. Burch)
Miss Ameri-Con and Miss Shamerica
Boobilicious and Boobs of Steal
No Bastion of Virtue (Vogue) and The
Brooklyn Barbie and Crooklyn Barbie The Smart One and
Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the
smart one" in the Godfather movies) Out-of-Touch Fluff and Miss Insubstantial (Dame Helen Mirren in People)
Hillary Lite (after Ivanka used her private email account to conduct government
The Trans Sender Sh!email
Miss Social Media
Loose Lips Ivanka
Sing-Sing (will Ivanka end up in prison for singing state secrets in public?)
Will Trump be yelling and tweeting "Lock her up!" about the apple of his
sty, after learning that Ivanka has been using her private email for government
business? #LockHerUp #LockUpIvanka
In addition to her emails, federal investigators should examine Ivanka's
Trump's Senior Ad Vizier (Michael R. Burch, because Ivanka and the Trumps are
using the presidency for personal profit)
Peace Treaty Barbie (Ivanka Trump) and Collusion Ken (Jared Kushner)
Dumbshit Barbie and Ken (Rosie O'Donnell)
Zero Concern Barbie
Ivanka, the child of privilege who has never had to worry about missing a
meal in her life, said she doesn't believe in a guaranteed minimum wage: "I
think that this idea of a guaranteed minimum is not something most people want."
However, a National Restaurant Association poll revealed that 71% of Americans
supported raising the minimum wage, even if it meant paying more money for food.
Daddy's Little Ghoul
Ivanka claimed that being Donald Trump's daughter is "the hardest job in the
Chris Matthews predicted that Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner will be "the
next dominoes to fall."
The Trump Card (the title of her 2009 book)
The Wild Card
The Red Queen ("Off with their heads!")
Russian Red Ivanka
This may be the strangest thing of all about Ivanka Trump. According to
Felix Sater, when he took her on a tour of the Kremlin, she actually sat in
Putin's chair and spun around twice. Think about that for a second. How does
anyone get into Putin's office? How does anyone get to sit in Putin's chair? We
can't do that, nor can 99.99% of the world's population. It sounds like
collusion on a grand scale.
The Queen of Diamonds
The Grand Collusionist
The Nutcracker (Ivanka's only onstage role was as a dancer in The Nutcracker)
The Stupor Model
Jennifer Lopez reportedly once remarked, "She's only here because of her
Ivanka said she found Christian Bale "very attractive" in the movie American
Psycho. Did he remind her of daddy?
Bosom Buddies (with Chelsea Clinton)
The Closet Feminist
Ivanka donated money to Hillary Clinton's 2008 campaign. Awkward.
Princess Ivanta (as in "I vant a crown!")
HRH Ivanka (Her Royal Highness)
Little Miss Apartheid
Ivanka Trump was all smiles in Jerusalem during a photo-op at the new American
embassy, while a short distance away Israeli snipers were firing live ammunition
into crowds of Palestinian protesters, killing 58 people in a single day and
wounding hundreds more. Altogether 101 Palestinians had been murdered and more
than 10,000 wounded since the protests began, with more surely to follow.
Nicknames for Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump:
J-Vanka (Cosmopolitan), Javanka (Steve Bannon),
Jerkvanka, The Royals, The Royal Couple, The Royal Family (Rex Tillerson), The
Globalists (Steve Bannon), The Railhead of All Bad Decisions (Steve Bannon), The
Surrogates, The Brooklyn Hillbullies, The Children of the Corn, The Swamp
Creatures, Creatures from the Orange Lagoon, The Dealmakers, The Developers, The
Surrealtors, The Workaholics, The Shirkaholics, Trump's Girlfriends #1 and #2
Iva (Jared Kushner's nickname for his wife), Vanilla ISIS, Vanilla Vice-is,
Kushner's Cush Toy, Mrs. Kushner, Fifth Avenue Freeze-Out, The
Surrogate, Eye Candy, I Candy, The Handmaid, The First Shady Lady,
Con-suela, Connie, Clueless Connie, Ofjared, Ofdonald, The Golden Girl Grifter, Marvel (her Secret Service code name),
Larval, Belladonald, Orange Widow,
Blunder Woman, Bratgirl, Dupergirl, Catty Girl, Hawker Girl, Conagula,
Fleur-de-Lay, GoDIVA, Lie Jinx, Bungle
Girl, Bangle Girl, Lady Deadfool, Ladyhawker, Shadyhawker, Blightspeed, La
Lunatica, Mag-duh-lean, Maiden Injustice, Manshunter, Maximum Deride, Meduser,
Miss AmeriKKKa, Mockingturd, Miss Liberty (we will all miss Liberty, thanks to
her father), Blightshade, Rainbow Smite, Painmaker, Trampage, Craven,
Shadowhawker, Sham-rock, She-Bling, Squirrely Girl, Shun Girl, Bilkyrie, Vague,
Hoodoo, Wallflower, Wallpower, The WASP, Web of Deceit Woman, Whirlygirl, The
Blight Witch, Wild Bling, The Woman in Russian Red, Zealot, Money-Grubbing
Attention Whore, FiDuFUS (First Daughter of the US), Brand Trump, the Brander,
The Sacrificial Lamb, The Political Dilettante, Princess Ivanta, Princess Platitude, The Prodigal
Daughter, The Lyin' King Tamer, The Lingerie Peddler, The Socialite, The
Air-Kisser, The Swamp Mistress, The Feature from the Black Lagoon, Princess Disloyal, Royal Flush, Royal Douche,
Ivanka Stank, Brooklyn Barbie, The Ice Princess of Queens, The Cold Con, Dumb as
a Brick (Steve Bannon), Fucking Liar (Steve Bannon), The Bitch Is Dead (Steve
Bannon), Jewish-American Princess, JAP, Snow White, Ball Buster (Bill Maher),
Trump's Real Wife (Michael Wolff), Botlike (Michael Wolff), The Ivanabot, Ms.
Roboto, Princess Iwanta-All-The-Time (Allan Ishac)
Ivanka Trump Quotes:
Ivanka Trump called her wedding ring "the hardware."
She said, "I obviously have a great love and appreciation of jewelry, thanks to
my mother, much to the dismay of both my father and my boyfriends."
She said a date night with Jared "always involves me looking at one of his
She said that what she and her husband are really "passionate" about is looking at
properties they own.
She said, "Real estate is my life. It is my day job, if you will. But it
consumes my nights and weekends, too."
She said, "My greatest passion has [been], and always will be, real estate."
She admitted, "I've never lived in a building without my name on it."
She advocated lying, if it works to your advantage: "Perception is more
important than reality. If someone perceives something to be true, it is more
important than if it is in fact true. This doesn't mean you should be
duplicitous or deceitful, but don't go out of your way to correct a false
assumption if it plays to your advantage."
Like father, like daughter. The most important things in life are bling, real
estate, and lying one's way to success!
Ivanka Trump said there is a "special place in hell" for men like
Sludge Roy Moore who prey on children. Did Ivanka just condemn her
father to hell, since he bragged to Howard Stern that he barged into the
dressing rooms of teenage beauty contestants to ogle them in the nude, because
he was the owner of the pageants and could get away with it? There have also
been multiple lawsuits filed against Trump by a girl who says he raped her when
she was a teenager. And there are some very disturbing pictures of Trump with a
young Ivanka perched in his lap. Trump has said more that once that he'd like to
"date" his daughter, and we all know what happens to girls who date Trump.
Damien Trump and his Stepford Wives
meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of
such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!
Trump Family Nicknames ...
The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R.
Donald Duck Dynasty
The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R.
Burch) The Cold Ones The Children of the Corn
Poor Little Bitch
The Bitches of Eastwick
Melania Trump nicknames ...
Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd) Melania Antoinette First Babe Melanoma The
Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan)
The Cold One
The Swamp Queen
The Man-Boy Sitter
The Trump Sitter The
Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in Isreal) TerminEX (ditto)
The Black Widow
Pussy Bow (because she wore a "pussy bow" to the St. Louis debate)
Double Agent (Christen Clifford suggested that the "pussy bow" was a feminist
rebuke of her husband's pussy groping)
Agent 69 The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
Mater Harry (pun on Mata
Hari and Dirty Harry)
KKK (her bra size?)
The Apprentice Bride
Bride of Trumpenstein
Copy & Paste (for wholesale plagiarism of Michelle Obama)
Trump Administration Nicknames ...
Moscow on the Hudson The Kremlin Gremlins
Amoral Flying Monkeys
(Keith Olbermann) Rank Amateurs (emphasis on "rank")
Amateur Hour at
the White House Alternate Reality TV Celebrity
Presidential Apprentice KKK: Kooks, Klowns and
Den of the
Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch)
Hell on Earth
The Ninth Circle of
The Fourth Reich
Combover to the Dark Side Hair
Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch) Trump-Pence None the
Retcher (Michael R. Burch)
Regressive Reds The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch)
The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium
(Michael R. Burch)
Oval Ovary Assault Office
The Ovary Inspection Office
(Michael R. Burch)
Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch)
AmeriKlan Idols Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...
The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration:
kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government
by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler:
“government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article
Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the
major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops,
gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf,
then brags about his "accomplishments"
and campaigns for reelection.
We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jared "Jarhead"
Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his
real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops!
Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well
underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket
starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie).
Little Lord Fauntleroy will
also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big
Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the
The Top Ten
Jared Kushner Nicknames (Bolded) ...
Vanilla ISIS Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and
Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL) Aide de Kampf
(Michael R. Burch) Putin's
Putin's Proxy Putin's Protégé Fratsputin
Comrade Kushner The Easebroker Nerd Boy
Jared "the Red" Kushner
The Boy Blunder Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee) Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on
Daily Kos) Nimrod
(Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon)
(the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the
Babylon) The Crown Prince of Babble-On
Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife, Ivanka
Trump, own the most expensive single building in the U.S. at 666
Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion)
The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell ... So
MANY to Choose from ... Better Make it the Top 1,000!
Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets
when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking
literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666
connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter
Agent Orange — by Anonymous (not sure if it was coined by the hacker group Anonymous, but this
is one of my all-time favorites)
Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny,
but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant
Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11,
Thurston Shitbag the Third — by Bill Maher
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart ... this one inspired a slew of jokes and
similar nicknames ...
Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!