The HyperTexts

Eric Trump Nicknames

This page contains the best Eric Trump nicknames that I have been able to find—such as Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, and Draco Malfoy—plus a few that I came up with myself. There are also some choice nicknames for Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Melania Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Anthony Scaramucci, Mitch McConnell, Steve Bannon, Jeff Sessions, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Judge Roy Moore, Kellyanne Conway and other Trump family, friends, associates and lapdogs ...



Eric Trump aka Draco Malfoy, the Cold One

Eric Trump Coronavirus Nicknames

For his multitudinous efforts on its behalf, the coronavirus has granted Eric Trump the following titles and epaulets:

The Coronavirus's Best Friend
Coronavirus in Pallid Semi-Human Form
The Human-COVID Hybrid
The COVID Hominid
Kid Corona
The Covid Kid
The COVIDiot
Eric Pandemic
The Hyper Ventilator
The Stupor Genius (coined by Michael R. Burch)

Eric Trump called himself a "super genius" for telling Americans to buy stocks just before the coronavirus pandemic destroyed the economy. Stupor Genius seems to suit him much better! Unfortunately, or perhaps very fortunately, Eric has not been allowed to speak publicly since! But when he did, it was a real WHOPPER, as we will see immediately below ...

Eric "the Lie Derrick" Trump
The Human Sump Pump (or, more accurately, The Semi-Human Sump Pump)
Brain Drain
Eric the Brain Dead
Brainiac 666

Eric Trump reemerged insisting that the coronavirus pandemic is a political hoax: "They will milk it every single day between now and November 3rd and, guess what, after November 3rd, coronavirus will magically all of a sudden go away and disappear and everybody will be able to reopen!" Yeah, right, Brainiac 666. You've got it all figured out, by listening to and swallowing your father's lies! At the time Brain Drain Eric said this, the US had over 1.5 million confirmed coronavirus cases, with over 89,000 confirmed coronavirus deaths, and many more unconfirmed due to chronic shortages of tests. There were more than 36 million unemployed Americans, a figure that threatens the nation and the world with another Great Depression. No, Eric the Brain Dead, there is no "hoax" except your family "leading" our country at such a perilous time.―Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Top Ten Eric Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell, Make it a Baker's Dozen plus a Few

Eric the Red
Eric the Shred (Michael R. Burch)
Eric the Brain Dead
Eric of Orange (Erich L'Orange)
Eric Idle and Eric Sidle
Qusay (Trump insiders, per Michael Wolff)
Odo (short for Malodorous)
Date Rape (Kathy Griffin)
Draco Malfoy
Sonny Corleone and Sonny-Boy
Short Bus, Douchebag von Fuckface and Thurston Shitbag the Third (Bill Maher)
Eric the Hysteric and Eric the Cleric
Chip Off the Old Blockhead II (his brother Donald Trump Jr. is the first)
Dumber (to his elder brother's Dumb)
Poster Boy for Abused Ventriloquist Dummies (Michael R. Burch)



Evangelicals and other Creationists love Eric Trump because he is living proof that human beings did not evolve!

Dishonorable Mention: Junior's Senseless Sidekick (Allan Ishac), The Diddling Dipstick (Allan Ishac), Eric the Unloved, Eric the Loveless, Eric the Unready, Eric the Unsteady, Dunderhead, The Self-Dealer, The Cancer Necromancer (he has been accused of using a children's cancer "charity" to slip money to himself under the table), Marksman (his Secret Service code name), Mr. Alt-Right, Beavis Trump, Butthead Trump, The Kids are Alt-Right, The Big Dame Hunter, The Cold One, Vladimir, Vladula, Vlad Tepish, Vlad Nebish, Unsexy Lestat, Lestat de Lyin' Court, Twilight, Shitty Vampire, The Bloodsucker, The Coldblooded Leech, The Rat Bloodsucker, The Blight Stalker, Comrade Vlad, Lil' Vampire Face, The Draugr, The Vampire Empire, Edward Sullen, Jester Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Witherdale, Caius Volturi, Louis De Pointe Du Lackey, Eric Northsham, Heifer Southerland, Spike, David Booby, Don Slaylock, Mr. Roboto, El Insipid, The Eel, The Eelster, Eric the Boneless

White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one). There is no doubt that Ivanka is the Godfather's favorite, since he gave her a position in his administration along with her husband Little Lord Fauntleroy. But if Junior is Fredo, wouldn't that make Senior another Fredo? Better call Puffed Up Daddy and his eldest son Dumb and Dumber! But where does this name game leave Eric Trump, a Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They seem to be a trio of Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it certainly seems to suit him.



"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets," Donald "Ponyboy" Trump Jr. told a real estate conference in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In 2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric "the Red" Trump how his father could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And Trump Jr. made the purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents crystal-clear when he informed Jared "Jarhead" Kushner and Paul "Mole" Manafort about the covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton – private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's Watson to figure this one out!

The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames

Junior and Donald Dunce Jr.
Son of Drumpf
Donald Drumpkopf the Lesser
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)
Ponyboy
The Boy Blunder and Booby
Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Take your pick: Putin's Puppet / Puppy / Proxy / Protégé / Poodle / Lapdog
Fredo Corleone and Frito Corleone and Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

Dishonorable Mention: Little Donnie Diaperpants, Little Donnie Diaperwetter, Public Drunk, The Cheapest Gazillionaire Heirhead (People Magazine, after Junior proposed to Vanessa Haydon with a free ring), The Airhead,
The Bedhead, Mr. Brylcream, Unbonny Donnie and Nondescript Donnie (because Ivanka got all the attention), Groper Jr. and Junior Abuser (he came on to women so strong at frat parties "everyone was warned to stay away from Donnie Trump"), The Great White Hunter (he even posed for a picture holding a severed elephant's tail!), The Gushin' Russian

Please click here for all Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames

Marco Roboto hugs the First-Lady-Daughter ... talk about uncomfortable!



The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Ivanka Tramp
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Proxy Wife
Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
Trophy Daughter and The First Lady-Daughter
Kushner's Crush and Kushner's Cush Toy
The Favorite and The Hot One
The Smart One and Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
I Candy

Please click here for all Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection. 



We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie). Little Lord Fauntleroy will also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the K-Rations.

The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames

Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Acting President Kushner
Coup D'Tot (Michael R. Burch)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
The Easebroker (expecting Jared Kusher to produce peace in the Middle East is like believing in the Tooth Fairy!)
Fratsputin
Putin's Protégé

Dishonorable Mention: Putin's American Viceroy, Putin's American Vice-Boy, Putin's Cush-Toy, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Proxy, Comrade Kushner, The Air (Steve Bannon, because Kushner glides in and out like a puff of air), The Secretary of Everything (his White House nickname), Madame Secretary, Jared the Pallid, The Paladin, Jared the Unready, Fully Transparent Boy (he claimed to be "fully transparent" on Russia.), Poor Little Rich Bitch, Little Jared (Ana Navarro), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Jarhead, Jarred Jared, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, Nimrod (Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon), Son of Babylon (the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the patriarch of Babylon), The Crown Prince of Babble-On, Lucifer Incarnate, Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion), The Neophyte, Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee), The Piece Broker, The Piss Broker

Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames

The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames

(#1) Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets — when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (not sure if it was coined by the hacker group Anonymous, but this is one of my all-time favorites)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) Thurston Shitbag the Third — by Bill Maher
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart ... this one inspired a slew of jokes and similar nicknames ...

Please click here for all Donald Trump Nicknames

Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!

President Donald Trump signed bills in the  Roosevelt Room of the White House on Monday.

Tiny Hands Trump uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest dictatorial proclamations at his Birther Boy coming-out party. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but Man-Toddler Trump will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION, but he is no superhero. Short Attention Span Trump is the new official poster child for ADD. According to CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more exciting, more funlike a cartoon! Such is the Boychurian Candidate's latest thought bubble. Fortunately the Combover Kid's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for Bratman's lack of trying to blow up the world!

President Donald Trump holds up his pen after signing the Historically Black Colleges and Universities HBCU Executive Order, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017, in the Oval Office in the White House in Washington.

Trump's nannies applaud as Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper learns to operate a pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train the Boss Baby's mouth (or his Twitter account)!



Currently Rising: Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more dignified and reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" A meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.

Also Rising: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, Dainty Donald, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a sparkly princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies." However, there was considerable confusion: was the correct hashtag #TrumpCurtsy or #TrumpCurtsey with an "e"? Well, the "e" seems a bit more feminine to us, so we are voting for "curtsey" as befitting Her Royal Highness Princess Prima Donna.

Trump Nicknames Continued, with our High Dishonorable Mentions ...

T-Rump
Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch)
The Ameri-Con President
SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States)
BLOTUS (Bloated Leader of the United States)
Tie-Coon
The Incredible Bulk (after Trump warned that he would be "very angry" if TrumpCare is not allowed to kill multitudes of Americans)
The Gold Man Sucks President
Daddy Warbucks
Mr. Transparency (after Trump said his wall must be transparent to allow Americans to watch out for flying bags of drugs!)
The Poor Little Rich Bitch
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
The Thinskinned Skinflint
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — by Graydon Carter
The White Pride Piper
Orange-Vanilla ISIS
A$$hole
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat — by Michael R. Burch
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (along with George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios (one of the cleverest Trump nicknames)

Please click here for all Donald Trump Nicknames

Nicknames for the Trump administration: Trolls Galore (Hillary Clinton), Amoral Flying Monkeys (Keith Olbermann), Rank Amateurs, Amateur Hour at the White House, Alternate Reality TV, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice, KKK: Kooks, Klowns and Kommissars, Den of the Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch), Hell on Earth, The Ninth Circle of Hell, The Fourth Reich, Hair Force One, Combover to the Dark Side, Hair Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch), Trump-Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Regressive Reds, The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch), The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium (Michael R. Burch), The Oval Ovary Assault Office, The Ovary Inspection Office (Michael R. Burch), Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch), AmeriKlan Idols, Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...

The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration: kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler: “government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article

Please click here for all Donald Trump Administration Nicknames



Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Trump family nicknames: The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch), Donald Duck Dynasty, Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch), The Cold Ones, Children of the Corn, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Bitches of Eastwick

Please click here for all Donald Trump Family Nicknames

The Top Ten Melania Trump Nicknames

The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd)
First Babe
Melanoma
The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan) and The Swamp Queen
Sinderella and Tinderella
Melania Antoinette
The Man-Baby Sitter and The Trump Sitter
The Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in Israel)
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
The Apprentice Bride and Bride of Trumpenstein

Please click here for all Melania Trump Nicknames



Top Ten Kellyanne Conway Nicknames


Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch)
The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), The Spinstress and the Spinster
Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch)
The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni) and The Trump Hisser (Michael R. Burch)
Motor Mouth (David Horsey)
Bride of Trumpenstein (Michael R. Burch)
Smelly Anne Con-Job
Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell)
Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi)
Free Agent (Joe Scarborough) and The Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch)

Dishonorable Mention: Con-Way Twitter ("Can we con our way to the presidency, using Twitter?"), Con-Way Twit, The Mercenary (Jim Newell),, Fatal Attraction (SNL), Fatal Detraction (Michael R. Burch), Mistress of Propaganda, Bride of Dracula, Spawn of the Undead, The Crypt Keeper, The Cryptomaniac, The Spinster (Michael R. Burch), The Spinstress (Michael R. Burch), Orwellian Anne, Bullshit Barbie, Sadly Aging and Sagging Barbie, Kenless Barbie (pun on "knowledge-less"), Satan's Trophy Wife (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Nutcracker brought to partial life (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Soulless Cretin (Daily Kos), The Cold One, Snowcone, Death Warmed Over, The Alt-Right Barbie, Kellyanne Cuntway, Blunder Woman, The Crypt Mistress, The Cryptologist, Mummy Dearest, Ghoul of My Dreams, Girlzilla, The Cadaver, Blonde Medusa, Con Air

IMG_2976.JPG

This is a disappointment, a disappointment indeed! I regret that our efforts [to rob 30 million Americans of decent healthcare] were simply not enough this time!―Mitch McConHell

The Top Ten Mitch McConnell Nicknames

The Turtle (Jon Stewart) and The Napping Turtle (Michael R. Burch)
Fuckface McTurtlebitch
Mitch MuckSquirtle
Shirknado and Shirknerdough (Michael R. Burch)
The Hyperactive Death Hamster
The Lethal Chipmunk
Angry Cheek Pouches
Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch McConHell (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch the Snitch / Mitch the Bitch / Mitch the Snitch-Bitch / Mitch the Glitch / Mitch the Twitch / Mitch the Shitz / Mitch the Fritz / Mitch Switch Bait / Pitchman Mitch / Ditch McConnell (as we all should!)

Please click here for all Mitch McConnell Nicknames

Related pages: Famous Nicknames, Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames, Mitch McConnell Nicknames, Jeff Sessions Nicknames, Steve Bannon Nicknames, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames, Judge Roy Moore Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Eric Trump Nicknames, Hope Hicks Nicknames, Joe Arpaio Nicknames, Ann Coulter Nicknames, Rush Limbaugh Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Ted Cruz Nicknames, Mitt Romney Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, The Donald Trump Bible, The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Insults, Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Funny Campaign Slogans and Parodies, Donald Trump Halloween Ideas, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Inauguration Poetry, Donald Trump Curtsy or Bow?, Ten Reasons to "Fire" Donald Trump, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Is there a Republican War on Women?, Conservatives Who Support Gay Marriage, 2016 Republican Debate, Ted Cruz Quotes, The Best Ted Cruz Jokes, The Wit, Wisdom and Very Impressive Vocabulary of Donald J. Trump

The HyperTexts