James Mattis Nicknames
James Mattis Jokes
James Mattis Quotes
This page contains the best General James N. Mattis nicknames, jokes and quotes that I have been able to find, along with choice nicknames for Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Anthony Scaramucci, Mitch McConnell, Steve Bannon, Jeff Sessions, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Hope Hicks, Judge Roy Moore, Kellyanne Conway, Michael Cohen and other Trump family, friends, associates and lapdogs ...
Related pages: Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump Russia Quotes
The picture above―the earliest known image of The Donald―is evidence that he was suckled in Emperor Palpatine’s romper room. Now in the American Game of Thrones, he is Donald Littlefinger, a master of lies, deceit, treachery and treason. But what will happen now that the last of the Trump Nannies, James Mattis, has left the White House romper room?
The Top Ten James Mattis Nicknames
Mad Dog
Warrior Monk
Mad Monk
Chaos (his very ironic call-sign, since he served under Captain Chaos)
The Adult in the Room
Kindergarten Cop
Mr. Nanny
Trump's Nanny Boo-Boo
Nanny McFee
Scary Poppins
The Last Guardrail
The Lyin' King Tamer
The Trump Tamer
Okay, that's a baker's dozen, but who's counting?
James Mattis was a Four-Star General and a globally respected Secretary of Defense, but potty training Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper was beyond even his impressive capabilities.
James Mattis has a sense of humor. When he met John Bolton for the first time, he quipped: "I've been told you're the Devil Incarnate." Unfortunately, that would turn out to be a certain Orange Jackal masquerading as President of the United States!
This is my favorite James Mattis joke: When Trump fell in love with General Mattis and the bromance was fully aflame, Trump called him by his military nickname, "Mad Dog." But as the bromance began to cool, Trump could only muster a "Moderate Dog."
As it began to seem likely that the bromance was irreparably on the skids, General Mattis was asked if he ever thought about leaving. "Of course I don't think about leaving. I love it here. I'm thinking about retiring here, getting a nice little place down on the Potomac," he said, gesturing toward the river, which is not far from the Pentagon.
James Mattis was famous for his short, pithy quotes which earned their own nickname: “Mattisisms.”
One Mattisism—“Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet!"—even made it into a popular video game.
Another Mattisism may have persuaded Trump to give up his infatuation with torture. “He said, ‘I’ve never found it to be useful,’” Trump relayed. “He said, ‘I’ve always found, give me a pack of cigarettes and a couple of beers and I do better with that than I do with torture.’ And I was very impressed by that answer.”
Here's another Mattis quote: “Engage your brain before you engage your weapon.”
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