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Mike Pompeo Nicknames, Quotes and Jokes

This page contains the best Mike Pompeo nicknames that I have been able to find, plus a few that I came up with myself. Mike Pompeo nicknames and jokes have been created by Andy Borowitz, Matthew Broderick (on SNL), Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers and Trevor Noah.

Related pages: Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?

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Pompous Mike Pompeo has a plan. The smirk tells you all you need to know about his intentions.

Pompeo the Grate has been accused of forcing other government employees to pick up his dry cleaning, walk his dog, make dinner reservations and wait on him hand and foot.

Mike Pompeo Nicknames

Pompey the Grate
Pompeo the Grate
Secretary of Grate
Secretary in State (i.e., six feet under)
Pompous Mike Pompeo
Mike Pandemic
Human-COVID Hybrid
The COVID Hominid
The Coronavirus Kid
Kid Corona
The Hyper Ventilator
The China Sin-Drone (Michael R. Burch)
The Wuhan Conman
Drone Strike Mike
Koch Addict
Koch Float
Koch Zero
The Congressman from Koch
Mr. Dark Money
Mount Pomp-Pay
Pompous Asshole
Wichita Lineman
The Swamp Stocker
Pompeo Le Douche
Dirty Laundry
The Black Mail Knight
Big Mike (SNL)

Dishonorable Mention: Putin's Puppet, Putin's Pompous Pimp, The Torture Apologist, The Tea Party Firebrand, Tempest in a Tea Pot, Armageddon Mike, The True Deceiver, Mr. Metadata, The Matador, The Spymaster, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold War

Mike Pompeo Jokes

In an effort to dampen the controversy over Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s alleged use of a State Department employee to run personal errands, Donald J. Trump has ordered Mike Pence to start picking up Pompeo’s laundry, effective immediately.—Andy Borowitz

Mike Pompeo, if you have all this stuff you don’t want to be asked about, maybe don’t go on an NPR show called All Things Considered. If you don’t like questions, I think Fox News has a show called No Things Considered.—Seth Meyers

Pompeo refused to talk about anything besides Iran. Does he think the name of the show is One Thing Considered?—Stephen Colbert

I think this impeachment thing could be really bad!—Matthew Broderick playing Mike Pompeo in an SNL skit

My id just says "Big Mike."—Matthew Broderick playing Mike Pompeo in an SNL skit and confessing that no one in the White House knows what their jobs are

The most surprising thing about Mike Pompeo's secret meeting with Kim Jong-un is that Trump managed to keep it secret.—Jimmy Kimmel

Everyone in the Trump administration was trying to keep Mike Pompeo’s recent meeting with Kim Jong-un under wraps. Everyone except Donald Trump.—Trevor Noah

Mike Pompeo Quotations

I was the CIA director. We lied. We cheated. We stole.—US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo on June 13, 2019

What’s the cadet motto at West Point? You will not lie, cheat, or steal, or tolerate those who do. I was the CIA director. We lied, we cheated, we stole. It’s — it was like — we had entire training courses. It reminds you of the glory of the American experiment. — Mike Pompeo at Texas A&M University on April 15, 2019

Koch Industries is an amazing business! (They give me lots of money to f*** you over!)

I came, I saw, I bonkered.

The sooner we act, the sooner we can start turning the tables on cyber attackers. (But not if they help Mr. Putin and Donald Trump!)

This evil is all around us! (And I am in the middle of it!)

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