The HyperTexts

Rush Limbaugh Nicknames
Rush Limbaugh Jokes by SNL's Al Franken, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart and Others
Rush Limbaugh Quotes

This page contains the best Rush Limbaugh nicknames, jokes and quotes that I have been able to find ...

Related pages: Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, Donald Trump Russia Quotes

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Rush Limbaugh Nicknames

The Human Hindenburg

This is my favorite Rush Limbaugh joke: "Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One's a flaming Nazi gasbag, the other is a Zeppelin.

Lush Rimjob
Douche Rimjob
El Blimpo
Mount Rushbo
Big Fat Idiot (Al Franken)

A$$hole

A woman is test driving the world's most advanced self-driving car, equipped with the very latest in artificial intelligence. Another car cuts her off, and she reflexively screams ASSHOLE! The car makes a deft maneuver and radio station immediately switches to Rush Limbaugh.

Rush Rubbish
Pig Newton

Being attacked by Rush Limbaugh is like being gummed by a newt. — Molly Ivins

Mr. Creepypants
Mr. Inappropriate

This is an actual Rush Limbaugh joke: "Everyone knows the Clintons have a cat. Socks is the White House cat. But did you know there is also a White House dog?" Limbaugh then displays a picture of 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton. 

Rush Rimshot
Flush Rimshot
Rush Dim-Bulb
Lush Dim Blah
Junkie Limbaugh
Limbaugh Cheese
Rush Limburger (because he stinks something awful)
Limburger Cheesehead
The Rushian
Rushbo
Rush Limbawful
Acting President Limbaugh
Rush Out on a Limb Baugh
El Rushbo
El Rush Blow
Rushy
Rusty
Krusty the KKKlown
Bush League Rush
Babe Rush (pun on Babe Ruth, another portly heavy hitter)
The Rusher
Maha Rushie
Dittohead
The Surreal O'Reilly
Mr. Feminazi
Mr. Oinker Boinker
Pigman

The lamestream media would jump down your throat ... if there were room in there with all that ham. — Stephen Colbert

For years New Yorkers have done everything in our power to get Rush Limbaugh to leave town. We passed laws making it tougher for hotdog vendors to sell on our streets. We held gay pride parades. We knew he was into drugs, so we cleaned up Times Square ... — Jon Stewart


The Portly Parrot
Rush Limpballs
Flush Limpballs
Lush Limpballs
Rush Limpbull
Rush Limp Dick
Rush Winbag
Whoosh Windbag
The Illsbury Dough Boy
Captain Krispy Kreme
Flush Gorgon (pun on Flash Gordon)
Right-Wing Megalomaniac (see the nicknames Rush Limbaugh came up with himself, immediately below)

I’m Al Franken, Minnesotan, senator and world-renowned expert on right-wing megalomaniacs Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and now Donald Trump.

Nicknames Rush Limbaugh has used Himself

Titular Head of the Remains of the Republican Party
Professor of the Limbaugh Institute for Advanced Conservative Studies
Commander in Chief, U.S. Operation Chaos (a.k.a. CINCUSOC)
Chief Waga-Waga El Rushbo of the El Conservo Tribe
America's Truth-Detector
America's Anchorman
The Last Man Standing
A Real Man, A Living Legend, A Way of Life
A Weapon of Mass Instruction
Dittohead Doctor of Democracy
The Fourth Branch of Government
The Maharush-Neeshie (or Maha Rushie)
El Rushbo (a "little Spanish lingo, there")
El Blimpo (a self-effacing reference to his previous weight problems)
Mount Rushbo (ditto)
Chief of the Patriotism Police (This refers to the criticism by Molly Ivins of him and others in the new media.)
The Mr. Big of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy
The most dangerous man in America
Harmless loveable little fuzzball and all around good/nice guy
Talent on loan from God
The man who is running America (you know it and I know it)
The man who is talk radio (Limbaugh has long claimed that "he is talk radio.")
The Mandarin of Talk Radio (coined by Major Garrett)
Über-sexual
Über-male
Mayor of Realville
Defender of Motherhood
Radio Personality of the Decade
Rush Hudson Limbaugh (Mmm, Mmm, Mmm!)
Executive Director and Lead Researcher of the Forthcoming “Turtle Preservation Society of Palm Beach, Florida”
One of the 10 most fascinating people (Limbaugh was interviewed by Barbara Walters for a story on the 10 most fascinating people in 2008)

Rush Limbaugh Quotes

"Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream."

"I prefer to call the most obnoxious feminists what they really are: feminazis."

"We've arrived at a point where the President of the United States is going to lead a war on traditional marriage." (Rush Limbaugh, on President Obama's endorsement of gay marriage. Limbaugh's first, second, third, and fourth wives could not be reached for comment.)

"If you feed them, if you feed the children, three square meals a day during the school year, how can you expect them to feed themselves in the summer? Wanton little waifs and serfs dependent on the State. Pure and simple."

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Ann "Crazy Eyes" Coulter contemplates her Master Plan to invade and crush Canada, perfect the Jews, invade Muslim nations and convert them to Christianity at gunpoint, "rape the planet," publicly flog and humiliate black children, arm women while taking away their right to vote, and generally create Hell on Earth!

Ann Coulter Nicknames

AnnThrax
Coultergeist

Ann hopes the Republicans can hold onto the House so she can still haunt it. — David Spade

The Straw Ann (pun on "straw man")
The Scarecrow

Ann Coulter, if you're here, who is scaring the crows away from our crops? — Pete Davidson of SNL

Cadaver Ann
Death Warmed Over
Zombie Apocalypse
Kelly Conway's Ghoulish Twin Sister

Why is Ann Coulter here tonight? Because the right-to-lifers wanted everyone to see what an abortion looks like up close. Rob Lowe

Skeletor

It's 56 days 'til Halloween, but I see that Ann Coulter's already in her skeleton costume. — Rob Lowe

Acting President Coulter
The Red Queen ("Off with their heads!")
Chairman Ann

Coulter became the Acting President of the United States during a podcast interview with The Daily Caller when she said that Trump's presidency would be "a joke" that will leave "no legacy whatsoever if the wall wasn't built." Trump then bowed to her wishes and shut down his own government like the dutiful pawn that he is.

Secretariat

I just realized I'm not the only athlete up here. As you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. — Peyton Manning

Beltway Barbie
Yardsale Barbie (Tina Fey)
Kenless Barbie (pun on "ken" as knowledge)

Ann is against gay marriage. What is your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband, they can’t either? — Jeffrey Ross

Antisemitic Barbie
"Perfect the Jews" Barbie
"I-don't-care-about-the-Jews" Barbie

Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf. — Nikki Glaser

Last year we had Martha Stewart, who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter, who cuts eyeholes in them. — Pete Davidson of SNL

Ann seems stiff and conservative, but she gets wild in the sheets ... just ask the Klan. — David Spade

Cuckoo Coulter
Crazy Eyes Coulter
Hateful Bitch

Ann Coulter is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-faced bitches alive. But it's not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself. — Jimmy Carr

Tranny Annie
Ann the Man
Mannish Ann
Mann Coulter
Man-Hands Ann

The Jew Perfecter
Goebbels with Tits
Aryan Ann
Master Plan Ann
Disaster Plan Ann
Ann Hitler
Uber Bitchette
Rush Limbette
Rushette Out-on-a-Limb-Baugh

Miss Deliverance
Basic Instinct
Basic Din Stink
Basic Atrocity

How do I roast someone from hell? Ann, you are the only woman ever to sexually harass Roger Ailes! — Jeffrey Ross

The Airplane Rosa Parks (Trevor Noah, after her Delta Airlines twitter rampage)
Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to want to verify that claim)

Dishonorable Mention: Ann Coltrear, Ann Cunter, Racist Cunt (Peter Davidson), That Conservative Female Douche, Screaming Banshee, Wicked Witch of the West, Psycho-Bitch, Just Plain Stupid, The American Voltaire, Giraffe Girl, Border Wall Babe, Border Wall Bimbo, Conservative Firebrand

Ann Coulter Quotes

"They’re about to have a country where no Republican will ever be elected president again. Trump will just have been a joke presidency who scammed the American people, amused the populists for a while, but he’ll have no legacy whatsoever."

Ann Coulter wants black children to be flogged and humiliated in public: "I have to say I'm all for public flogging. One type of criminal that a public humiliation might work particularly well with are the juvenile delinquents, a lot of whom consider it a badge of honor to be sent to juvenile detention. And it might not be such a cool thing in the 'hood' to be flogged publicly."

Ann Coulter wants to invade Muslin nations and convert the people to Christianity by brute force: "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."

"I am emboldened by my looks to say things Republican men wouldn't."

"That was the theme of the Million Mom March: I don't need a brain — I've got a womb."

"The ethic of conservation is the explicit abnegation of man's dominion over the Earth. The lower species are here for our use. God said so: Go forth, be fruitful, multiply, and rape the planet — it's yours. That's our job: drilling, mining and stripping. Sweaters are the anti-Biblical view. Big gas-guzzling cars with phones and CD players and wet bars — that's the Biblical view."

"I think [women] should be armed but should not vote … women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it … it's always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care."

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Mick Mulvaney descends from a long line of Angry Chipmunks. Fortunately, he's able to store lots of nuts in those capacious cheeks! But will a certain yuge Wall Nut fit?

Scary Poppins is Trump's latest nanny. But the first time he errs and incurs Trump's childish wrath, he will forevermore be known as Nanny Boo-Boo. And because Mr. Pay to Play is an expensive man to keep around, he will also be known as Nanny McFee. (For example, Easy Money Mulvaney once told lobbyists that he wouldn't talk to them unless they contributed to his campaign!) But what will happen if the doddering Man-Baby suddenly remembers that his new nanny once called him a "terrible human being" and supported Rand Paul for president?

With Michael Cohen heading for prison,
Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper needed a new Fixer. And because Mick the Prick successfully neutered the CFPB, he was the logical choice. Mulvaney has confirmed his new role by introducing himself as a Right-Wing Nutjob! So perhaps Trump should keep a certain tiny, toadstool-shaped appendage under wraps.

The Top Ten Mick Mulvaney Nicknames

Right-Wing Nutjob (a nickname Mulvaney embraces)
Wacko Wombat, Chipmunk Cheeks and Angry Chipmunk
Hard Duty and Hazardous Booty
The Temp
Whether Vane Mick (Michael R. Burch)
Trump's Nanny Boo-Boo, Nanny McFee and Scary Poppins (Michael R. Burch)
The White House Chief of Graft (Michael R. Burch)
Graft Spree
The Skim Artist
Mr. Pay-to-Play

In April 2018, Mick Mulvaney told a room of banking industry executives and lobbyists that as a Congressman he refused to take meetings with lobbyists unless they contributed to his congressional campaigns. Mr. Pay-to-Play said: "If you are a lobbyist who never gave us money, I did not talk to you. If you are a lobbyist who gave us money, I might talk to you."

The Hobbit
The Keebler Elf
Dopey
Darth Leprechaun

Granny Clampett
The Scold
Miss Manners

The Zookeeper
Kindergarten Cop
Kindergarten Kop
Wet Nurse Ratched

Mick the Prick
Mick the Vain
The Mick
Mickey Mouse (Donald Trump, using "Mick M" for short)

Trump called a former nanny, er "White House Chief of Staff," a rat, so this seems to be an upgrade.

Third Strike
Bottom of the Barrel
D.C. Dregs

Mr. Moneybags
Easy Money Mulvaney
Mick the Vig
Mr. CFPB
The Shutdown Caucuser
The 7 Million Dollar Man (due to a shady real estate deal)

The Trump Whisperer
The Trump Hisser
Trump's Enabler
Trump's Fixer

Acting President Mulvaney
Insane Mulvaney (Michael R. Burch)

In past lives Mick Mulvaney has been the Director of the CFPB and Trump's Budget Director. In his latest incarnations, he is the White House Chief of Staff (i.e., Trump's nanny).



Trump and Kavanaugh go together like rancid cheese and mold.

This is what you get when you go through a trailer park with a $100 bill.—Lindsey Graham, equating women who claim to have been sexually abused with "trailer trash" out for a cheap score


The Top Ten Brett Kavanaugh Nicknames

The Sludge Judge and Sludge Kavanaugh
Kreepy Kavanaugh (Commander Og)
Brett "the Tit and Clit Man" Kavanaugh
The Hanging Judge
Mr. Dangling Participle
Hot Rod
Loud Obnoxious Drunk and Prolific Puker (Kavanaugh himself, in a 1983 letter to his "Beach Week Ralph Club")
Groper Junior and Groper Cleavehand Jr.
Trump's "get out of jail free" Card
Forrest Gump and Forrest Hump

We were going to be graduating in May, and now that football was over, we had one objective: 100 kegs.—Mark Judge

According to Brett Kavanaugh 's yearbook, his goal as a high school senior was "100 Kegs or Bust" and he was the "Keg City Club Treasurer." So his binge drinking is confirmed by his yearbook entries and by what a number of his classmates and other fellow drinkers have said about him, including in a book published by Mark Judge. Furthermore, Kavanaugh claimed that his drinking was "legal" when he was clearly underage. Therefore Kavanaugh lied under oath and has no business being a judge, much less sitting on the Supreme Court.

Dishonorable Mention: Spunky, Sploogie, Splurge, Brett Boof, Brettwurst, Brett the Brat, Shit Kavanaugh, Creep Kavanaugh, Bart O’Kavanaugh (Mark Judge's nickname for him), Mark Judge's BBF, 100 Kegs or Bust (his and Judge's drinking goal as high school seniors), Keg City Club Treasurer, Kegbuster Brett, The Blackout Drinker, Sloppy Drunk (Liz Swisher, a high school fellow drinker), The Incoherent Drunk, The Car Puker, Mr. Indecent Exposure, The Wretch, The Retch, Binge Kavanaugh, Rapey, Verge (as in, "I'm always on the verge of getting wasted and molesting you), Coach K, The Virgin (as in, "I could never get it up because I was always too drunk), The Choir Boy NOT! (per Lynne Brookes), Brett "Bad Bet" Kavanaugh, Mr. Tit & Clit, The Boy Blunder (Michael R. Burch), Blatant Liar (Chad Ludington, a Yale basketball player and former drinking buddy of Kavanaugh), Belligerent Drunk (Chad Ludington), Heavy Drinker (Chad Ludington), Staggering Drunk (Chad Ludington), Stumbling Drunk (Dr. Ford), The Perjurer, Boofer Brett, Beach Week Brett, Renate Alumnius, The Gang Rapist (Julie Swetnick), Alcohol-Soaked Sot, Caveman, Neanderthal

The Unknown Hoya, an underground newspaper associated with Georgetown Preparatory School, described students who went to Christine Blasey Ford's all-girls school as "the most worthless excuses for human-females" in a column titled "The Truth About Holton." The author boasted about sexual relations between Georgetown Preparatory students and the girls attending Holton-Arms by saying all it took was a public library card to "have a good time with any H.H.(Holton Hosebag)." Mark Judge, one of Kavanaugh's closest high school friends, and two other classmates reportedly produced The Unknown Hoya, an unofficial and unregulated alternative to Georgetown Preparatory School's official student paper, the Little Hoya.

The Best Brett Kavanaugh Jokes and Observations

His full name is Brett Michael Kavanaugh, so it's possible Trump thought he was nominating Poison lead singer and winner of Celebrity Apprentice Brett Michaels.—Stephen Colbert

I get why you [conservatives] like him. He's a conservative judge and he looks like a guy who gives postage stamps as Christmas presents.—Trevor Noah

Brett Kavanagh submitted into evidence his summer of 1982 calendar. So far the only thing that proves is that Kavanagh is a weird freak who keeps calendars from 1982.—Conan O'Brien

A college classmate of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh said that he often saw Kavanaugh "staggering from alcohol consumption." That's nothing! I saw him screaming and crying at a job interview while totally sober.—Seth Meyers 

The FBI. is investigating claims about his drinking and sexual misconduct. In response, Kavanaugh said, "Whatever, if you need me I'll be at Oktoberfest."—Jimmy Fallon

Meritocracy is a joke, Kavanaugh is the punchline.—The Majority Report with Sam Seder

Kavanaugh is an "unremarkable guy" who was "born on a conveyer belt to power." The conveyer belt was lubed with "boofing, ralphing and brewskis."—Meagan Day

The #SCOTUS hearing is running as smooth as a Jamie Kennedy New Year's Eve special.—Jensen Karp

White men really are superior, according to a renowned expert! Ann Coulter, commenting on the Kavanaugh rape allegations, insisted that "there has never been a more pacific, less rapey creature than the white male of Western European descent." Coulter might want to crack a history book or two. Has she never heard of the Holocaust, the Trail of Tears, American slavery, the Crusades, the Inquisitions, the ethnic cleansing of the New World, etc.? As Mark Twain observed, one of the great lies is that the white man is any less savage than the other savages. And, as Yogi Berra put it, "You could look it up."—Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

On SNL's Weekend Update, Colin Jost announced that Kavanaugh was confirmed 50-48, then observed that "50 is the lowest number of votes … for a justice in history. But keep in mind it's also the most 'yeses' Kavanaugh has ever heard. Even if you look past Dr. Ford's testimony — which many people seem to have no trouble doing — Kavanaugh did a bunch of disqualifying stuff just this past week. He basically lied under oath at a job interview to become a judge — that’s like cheating on your wife during your wedding."

On SNL's cold open, Kenan Thompson, playing Don Lemon at the CNN news desk, noted that there had been "several cry breaks" for the CNN staff, while Heidi Gardner, playing political correspondent Dana Bash, categorized the mood in the post-game GOP locker room as "nothing short of euphoric," observing that "quite a few pacemakers being put to the test tonight."

John Kennedy, played like a drunk frat boy by Kyle Mooney, shouted exuberantly: "WHOO! We're gonna Kavanaugh this tonight! Let's ralph till we boof!"

Beck Bennett, playing a portly, punch-drunk Mitch McConnell, yelled: "This is AWESOME! WHOO! ... Everyone's pumped — from white men over 60 to white men over 70! We got the PJ and Squee!" Putting the victory in context, he added: "It's up there with Vietnam, for sure. This is HISTORIC!" At which Mooney's Kennedy popped up to exclaim excitedly: "WINNING!"

Kate McKinnon, portraying a giddy Lindsey Graham, gave Gardner's Bash a "Kavanaugh World Champion" ball cap and asked rhetorically: "WHOO! How amazing is this? We made a lot of women real worried today, but I'm not getting pregnant, so I don't care!" Graham then admitted that the boy's club "couldn’t have done it" without Susan Collins, played by Cecily Strong. "That's our girl! Our ONE girl!" Mooney's Kennedy interjected. Strong's Collins said, "I think it's important to believe women, until it's time to stop." She also wanted to give her female supporters an important message: "PSYCH!" She concluded that she could "party with the big dogs. WHOO! WHOO!"

"Thank the MALE Lord" that Mike Pence was not needed to break a tie vote, McKinnon's Graham observed, mentioning that Pence would have made his entrance to Metallica's "Enter Sandman" if required.

Jeff Flake, played by Pete Davidson, claimed to be "really sad" about the process, "which you can tell from my resting bitch face." McKinnon's Graham then cheered him up by slamming a celebratory pie in his face. Bennett's McConnell called him "Flake the Snake" and said he was never going to vote no. Davidson's Flake then admitted: "Okay, you got me! I stink!"

"Seriously, this one is for the fans!" McKinnon's oblivious Graham said, continuing: "They've been there for us all week, cheering, screaming outside of our offices. … And I know they agree with us because they're shouting out 'ME TOO!'"

Alex Moffat, playing a despondent Chuck Schumer, explained why the Democratic opposition had failed: "We thought this time would be better than the Anita Hill hearing because Dr. Ford was white. Then it turned out Brett Kavanaugh was white too, and we were completely blindsided by that."

The victorious Republicans had the final say, with McKinnon's Graham cheering: "Let's keep this horny male energy going 'till the midterms!"

Brett Kavanaugh Evidence

In a 1983 letter published by The New York Times, Kavanaugh warned his friends of the danger of eviction from an Ocean City, Md., condo. In a neatly written postscript, he added that whoever arrived first at the condo should "warn the neighbors that we're loud, obnoxious drunks with prolific pukers among us. Advise them to go about 30 miles..." In the same letter, Kavanaugh said: "I think we are unanimous that any girls we can beg to stay there are welcomed with open..." There was no reason to elide "arms" so he obviously meant something lower down. Whatever he was planning was risky: "The danger of eviction is great and that would suck because of the money and because this week has big potential. (Interpret as [you] wish.)" It's not hard to interpret what Kavanaugh meant. The partying, drinking, drugs (probably) and sex was going to be very noisy and get out of hand. This doesn't sound like a note written by virgin who was a light drinker. It was written by a wild party animal with the goals enumerated in his high school yearbook ...

Brett Kavanaugh's high school yearbook contains this entry: "FFFFFFFourth of July." The "FFFFFFF" apparently stands for: "Find them, French them, Feel them, Finger them, Fuck them, Forget them." Not exactly the sort of thing a "virgin" says unless he's a big-time liar. Kavanaugh's yearbook also mentions "Devil's Triangle," which is slang for a sexual threeway involving two men and one woman. In their yearbooks Brett Kavanaugh and Mark Judge asked each other if they had "boofed yet." Here, "boof" seems to be a reference to anal sex, since everyone has farted, making Kavanaugh's "explanation" nonsensical. "Beach Week Ralph Club" is a rather obvious reference to going to the beach and drinking to the point of puking (see the letter above for confirmation). Kavanaugh claimed that he was the "Biggest Contributor" to the "Beach Week Ralph Club" (perhaps because he was the "Keg City Club Treasurer"). So the evidence is right there, in Kavanaugh 's yearbook. His accusers told the truth about his drinking binges, while he lied repeatedly. Since he lied about drinking, he could have lied about being a "virgin" and other sexual matters. Also, Kavanaugh’s friend and classmate Donald Urgo wrote a yearbook entry "Killer Qs and 151" (which sounds like "Lots of Quaaludes and Bacardi 151).

Yale banned Kavanaugh's fraternity, Delta Kappa Epsilon, from campus for five years after videos circulated of fraternity recruits chanting "No means yes! Yes means anal!" in front of the University's Women’s Center. If we add everything up, it sounds as if Kavanaugh's yearbook entries about "boofing" and "Devil's Triangle" are references to anal sex. Or, as Trump's evangelical supporters call it, sodomy.

Is Judge Kavanaugh or someone on his team guilty of witness tampering? Questionable text messages obtained by NBC News were sent to Kavanaugh's friends Kerry Berchem and Karen Yarasavage. Berchem said: "I have not drawn any conclusions as to what the texts may mean or may not mean but I do believe they merit investigation by the FBI and the Senate." In a memo, Berchem reportedly wrote that Kavanaugh "and/or" his friends "may have initiated an anticipatory narrative" in order to "conceal or discredit" [Deborah] Ramirez, according to NBC News.

Deborah Ramirez has accused Kavanaugh of exposing himself to her at a Yale dormitory party, then thrusting his penis in her face so that she touched it against her will.

Julie Swetnick alleges that Kavanaugh and Judge were present when she was gang-raped at a party. In a sworn statement Swetnick said that Brett Kavanaugh and his friend Mark Judge tried to get teenage girls "inebriated and disoriented so they could then be 'gang raped' in a side room or bedroom by a 'train' of numerous boys." She described Kavanaugh as a "very sloppy drunk" and a "mean drunk" who was "aggressive" with girls. She said: "I saw him go up to girls and paw on them and try to, you know, get a little too handsy touching them on private parts. I saw him try to shift clothing. I saw him push girls against walls. He would pretend to stumble and stumble into them and knock them against walls. He would push his body against hers." Swetnick said she had "a firm recollection of seeing boys" — including Kavanaugh — "lined up outside rooms at many of these parties waiting for their 'turn' with a girl inside the room." Swetnick said she told her mother and reported the incident to Montgomery County police. Her mother and the police officer who took the report are both dead, and the department told NBC News it could take weeks to retrieve records about the incident.

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate that Brett Kavanaugh attempted to rape her by pinning her to a bed and holding his hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming. In her testimony, Ford recalled the "uproarious laughter" of Kavanaugh and Judge during the alleged attack. She later told lawmakers she might be able to pinpoint when the alleged attack happened if someone could tell her when Judge worked at a local supermarket where she saw him working after the alleged attack. She said Judge was arranging shopping carts and seemed "nervous" and didn't want to speak with her. Judge wrote in his book Wasted: Tales of a GenX Drunk that he worked for a few weeks at the local market the summer before his senior year at Georgetown Prep, meaning the summer of 1982. Judge called the experience helping people to load groceries into their cars a "nightmare," saying he was often still hung over or drunk when he got to work.

Russell Ford, the husband of Dr. Ford and a mechanical engineer, said his wife talked about the alleged assault in 2012 during a therapy session, and he told The Washington Post that she mentioned Kavanaugh by name at the time. 

Jeremiah Hanafin, the polygraph examiner and former FBI special agent who conducted Ford's polygraph, said that her responses were "not indicative of deception."

Keith Koegler, a close friend of Dr. Ford and her husband, said that Dr. Ford told him of her accusation about Kavanaugh days before the president nominated him.

Elizabeth Rasor, who was Mark Judge's ex-girlfriend and college classmate, told the New Yorker that Judge told here that in high school he and other boys took turns "having sex with a drunk woman" and that he sounded ashamed.

Lynne Brookes, now the chief operating officer of Synchrony Group, was a friend of Kavanaugh's in college. She told CNN she was disappointed in "the way that he evaded his excessive drinking questions," and accused him of lying to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Charles "Chad" Ludington, an associate professor of history at North Carolina State University and former Yale basketball player, released a statement saying Kavanaugh "has not told the truth" when denying he never blacked out and downplaying his drinking as a young man. "On many occasions, I heard Brett slur his words and saw him staggering from alcohol consumption," Ludington wrote. "When Brett got drunk, he was often belligerent and aggressive."

Charles Ludington, Lynne Brookes and Elizabeth Swisher, all three Kavanaugh's classmates at Yale University, published an op-ed in the Washington Post urging the Senate to reject the Kavanaugh nomination because he lied to the Senate Judiciary Committee under oath, on national television. 

Leland Keyser says that she believes Dr. Ford's account, although she cannot confirm it herself.

Timothy Gaudette has been interviewed by the FBI.

Christopher "Squi" Garrett  has been interviewed by the FBI.

Why does Donald Trump continue to support Brett Kavanaugh?

Sexual predators of a feather
flock together!

Tell Us How Your Pets Behave, and Weâ??ll Tell You Which Toys They Want

VICE President Mike Pence makes the Cold Ones look warm by comparison!

"What is it about Mike Pence that no one ever tells him anything?" — David Axelrod

The Top Ten Mike Pence Nicknames

The Clown Prince
Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today)
The Stepford Veep (Omarosa Manigault Newman)
The Stolid Hack (GQ)
Trump's Poodle (George F. Will)
Deep Veep (wading deep in s**t, that is)
Dense Pence and Senseless Pence
The Vice Antichrist
Uber-Pious Pence (Daily Kos)
The Silver Sycophant

Dishonorable Mention: Hoosier (his Secret Service code name), Cuddles, Puddles, Trumpence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Sick Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Tuppence, Pence for Hire, Spencer Racy, The Silver Faux Fox, The Mad Monk, Mike Pensive, The Bleep Veep, The Creep-Veep, The Veep Creeping in Search of a Spine, The Foxhole Huddler, The Fence Sitter, Fat Termite, Trump's Lie Dispenser, The Black Hole of Sycophants (Daily Kos), Miss-Spence Youth, THE VICEROY, The Vice Roi, The Vice-Boy, The vICE Man Cometh

Karen Pence Nicknames: Hummingbird (her Secret Service code name), Ms. Pensive, Ms. Vice



Top Ten Paul Ryan Nicknames

Lyin' Ryan
Cryin' Ryan
Boy Scout (Donald Trump), Cub Scout and Brownie (Michael R. Burch)
Pious Paul
Paul Ruin
Alfalfa and The Little Rascal
Ryan's Nope
(Paul Ryan says "nope" to decency, equality, tolerance and justice)
Eddie Munster, Beaver Cleaver and Eddie Haskell
The Brown Noser (he was voted "Biggest Brown-Noser" by his graduating class in 1988; today he brown-noses Trump)
Gilligan (allegedly this is what Mitt Romney's campaign staff called Paul Ryan behind his back)

Dishonorable Mention:
Mr. 1%, The A-ryan, Aryan Ryan, Paul Pot, Paul Pottymouth, The Nana Killer, The Granny Killer, Rathole (George W. Bush), Trump's Cheerleader (Dan Rather), Ryan's Hopeless, Blue-Eyed Snidely Whiplash Wannabee, Zombie-Eyed Granny-Starver (Charles Pierce of Esquire), Eddie Haskell's Less Lovable Punk Brother (Michael R. Burch), The Serial Biller, Limp-Dick MF-er (Steve Bannon), P.D. (his middle name is Davis), Piddles, Puddles, Small-Ball Ryan, The Paulbot, Ducknuts, Wisconsin's Worst Export, Little Cheesehead, Ryan Rand (Ayn Rand is his hero), Sir Spendalot, The Wear Wolf, The Wallflower, The Trump Enabler, The Stench, The Brander, The Cutter, Cutty Snark, Failin' and Flailin' Ryan, Petty Paul, Petite Paul, Puny Paul, Pitiful Paul Ryan, Paulie Walnuts, Fryin' Ryan, Sighin' Ryan, Zion Ryan, The Janesville Juvenile, The Aryan Ayn Rand Paul, Neanderthal Paul Ryan, Loser Paul, House Speaker and Cyborg Learning to Smile Paul Ryan (Stephen Colbert), Paul Borg, The Teenage Werewolf, The Fiscal Weasel, The Cra$$ A$$hole, The Soup Kitchen A$$a$$in, Pampered Paul Ryan, The Irish Undertaker, Professor Ryan, Professor Powerpoint, Darth Ryan, Beetlebrow, The Trump Enabler, The Trump Whisperer, Paul Putz, Ryan Retard, Ayn Ryan, Randite, Randroid, Budget Badger, The Janesville Joker, Ryan Roboto, Gabe from the Office, The UberNeuman, Split Romney, Spit Romney, Shit Romney, Mitt Robbed Me, Soup Kitchen Ryan, Milhouse Van Houten, Weasel Boy, Human Vermin



Top Ten Kellyanne Conway Nicknames


Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch)
The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), The Spinstress and the Spinster
Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch)
The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni) and The Trump Hisser (Michael R. Burch)
Motor Mouth (David Horsey)
Bride of Trumpenstein (Michael R. Burch)
Smelly Anne Con-Job
Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell)
Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi)
Free Agent (Joe Scarborough) and The Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch)

Dishonorable Mention: Con-Way Twitter ("Can we con our way to the presidency, using Twitter?"), Con-Way Twit, The Mercenary (Jim Newell),, Fatal Attraction (SNL), Fatal Detraction (Michael R. Burch), Mistress of Propaganda, Bride of Dracula, Spawn of the Undead, The Crypt Keeper, The Cryptomaniac, The Spinster (Michael R. Burch), The Spinstress (Michael R. Burch), Orwellian Anne, Bullshit Barbie, Sadly Aging and Sagging Barbie, Kenless Barbie (pun on "knowledge-less"), Satan's Trophy Wife (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Nutcracker brought to partial life (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Soulless Cretin (Daily Kos), The Cold One, Snowcone, Death Warmed Over, The Alt-Right Barbie, Kellyanne Cuntway, Blunder Woman, The Crypt Mistress, The Cryptologist, Mummy Dearest, Ghoul of My Dreams, Girlzilla, The Cadaver, Blonde Medusa, Con Air

Roy Moore, the Ten Commandments Judge has been demoted to the Nine Commandments Sludge, since he ignored "Thou shalt not commit adultery" by sexually preying on underage girls.



Top Ten Roy Moore Nicknames

Sludge Moore
Roy Score More
Pervy Mall Banger, Mall Rat and Mall Patrol (he was notorious for "cruising" for underage girls at the Gadsden Mall, the YMCA and high school football games)
Mr. Ten Commandments (Moore said: “My duty is to uphold God’s law” and he constantly touted the Ten Commandments, less one)
The "Hanging" Judge (four women have accused Moore of "letting it all hang out" by dating and buying them alcohol when he was in his thirties and they were teenagers)
Mr. Fundie Undies and Mr. Tightie Whities (one girl, age 14 at the time, said Moore gave her drinks, left the room, then returned wearing only "tight white" underwear and fondled her)
The Sandbagger (he was so unpopular in the military, he slept on sandbags to protect himself from grenades he feared would be thrown under his cot by soldiers under his command!)
Captain America and Captain Shamerica (his troops hated him)
Fruit Salad (his college professor Clint McGee called Moore "the most mixed-up" student he'd ever taught!) and Fruit Loops (for his circular "thinking")
The Ten Commandments Judge (Sara Palin), The Ten Commandments Fudge and The Supreme Deplorable

“Judge Roy Moore was deplorable before it was cool to be deplorable!”Weepin' 'n' Wailin' Sara Palin 

Dishonorable Mention: Fudge More, Grudge More, Drudge More, Roy Deploy More, The Gay Blade, Grandpa Sleaze, Roy S'more, The Cradle Robber, Judge Rudy, Judge Cloy More, The Half-Cocked Judge, The Dangerous D.A., The Cowboy, Roy Codger, The Wrangler, The Shootist, The Grate Scout, Pudge Roy Moore, Creep Home Alabama (NY Daily News), The Culture War Boor, The Alabama Wild Card and the Renegade Republican (NBC's ANDREW RAFFERTY and ALEX SEITZ-WALD), The Sex Shooter, The Teen Troller, The Honey Badger, Mall Cop-a-Feel and Mall Rat, The Preying Predator, The Wrath of Con, The Lone Deranger

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has an amazing superpower... she can make Sean "Scary" Spicer seem almost normal, and half-way respectable! She is, of course, the daughter of Mike "Huckster" Huckabee, also known as "Huckleberry Spin." Together, they have created more whiffable spin that a Clayton Kershaw curveball. And they undoubtedly inspired the song that goes: "If your lips are movin', then you lie, lie, lie!"



The Top Ten Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames

Sarah "Suckmypee" Sanders
Sarah Suckup
Sarah Suckabee
The Succubus
Kentucky Fried
Miss Huckster
Basic Atrocity
Spokestoady
The Spinstress
Miss Missinformation

Dishonorable Mention: Women's Fibber, Sister Smother, Gomer Pile On II, The Gomerette, Elmira Gantry, Elvira Gantry, Possum Queen,  Cruella de Vile, Hick Morticia, Elvira Mistress of the Trailer Park, Miss Deliverance, Miss Devil Rants, Miss HarkandSaw, Miss Little Roc, Miss Pine Bluff, Blunder Woman, Slimy Sellout, Train Wreck, Miss Derailment, Faux News Vixen, Lil' Spice, Less Seasoned Spice, Spiced Rack, Trump's Dishonor Guard, Keeper of the Shame, Keeper of the Slime, Ante Bell Mum, The Funny Farm Schoolmarm, Miss Manners (she said it was "highly inappropriate" to debate a four-star general, even when he's obviously wrong), The Pig Hollow Wallower

Mike Huckabee Nicknames: Judas, Huckster Huckabee, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Fuckabee, Huck Upchuck, Hick Muckabee, The Muckster, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike, Triple Wide, Duck Hunter, Uncle Sugar (he once said that the only reason women voted for Democrats was because Uncle Sugar promised to pay for their birth control), Gomer Pile On I

The Top Ten Jeff Sessions Nicknames



Separated at birth? Here is unmistakable proof that Jeff "Granny" Sessions is the identical twin of another notorious scold ... Granny Clampett!

Granny and Granny Clampett
The Scold
Shocked Grandma (Stephen Colbert "alter ego")
The Washington Hillbully
Possum Boy and Half-Possum (SNL's Kate McKinnon)
Buford T. Injustice
Evil Snoats
The Blight Supremacist
The Hobbit (Trevor Noah)
Bill Dough Baggins (Michael R. Burch)
Forest Gnome (Stephen Colbert), The Keebler Elf and The Feebler Elf
Darth Leprechaun (Michael R. Burch)

Dishonorable Mention: Darth Yoda, Cloverleaf Pixie watching people have sex (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Albino Smurf (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Nervous Tick (Conan O'Brien), Nervous Nellie, Kangaroo Court Sessions,
Hessian Sessions, Secessionist Sessions, Stressin' Sessions (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Stonewall Sessions, Jefferson "No Regard" Sessions (his full name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions), Bo Retard, Detour-ney General, Round-a-Bout Bubba, Shirknado (Michael R. Burch), Perjurer General, Nuts (Donald Trump), The Wall Nut (this nut didn't fall too far from the racist family tree), Nut Boy, The Squirrel, Squirrely Sessions, Mutt and Jeff, Nutt and Jeff, The Turnip of Hate (Stephen Colbert "alter ego"), Doll carved from an apple (Stephen Colbert "alter ego")

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This is a disappointment, a disappointment indeed! I regret that our efforts [to rob 30 million Americans of decent healthcare] were simply not enough this time!―Mitch McConHell

The Top Ten Mitch McConnell Nicknames

The Turtle (Jon Stewart) and The Napping Turtle (Michael R. Burch)
Fuckface McTurtlebitch
Mitch MuckSquirtle
Shirknado and Shirknerdough (Michael R. Burch)
The Hyperactive Death Hamster
The Lethal Chipmunk
Angry Cheek Pouches
Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch McConHell (Michael R. Burch)
Mitch the Snitch / Mitch the Bitch / Mitch the Snitch-Bitch / Mitch the Glitch / Mitch the Twitch / Mitch the Shitz / Mitch the Fritz / Mitch Switch Bait / Pitchman Mitch / Ditch McConnell (as we all should!)

Please click here for all Mitch McConnell Nicknames

It has been scientifically proven that Anthony Scaramucci's blow-dryer, by evaporating massive quantities of hair gel and other hair products, is now the leading cause of global warming!



The Top Ten Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames

The Mooch (incredibly this is what the Grate Communicator calls himself!) and The Mooch Smooch (Trevor Noah)
A$$ki$$er (Michael R. Burch)
Ass Smooch and The Ass Smoocher
Loose Lips Scaramucci (his lips, although flapping loosely, are firmly planted in Trump's pale orange posterior)
Spokestoady and The Incredible Shrinking Spokesman
The Honeymooner (he asked his new staff to give him a "honeymoon" without leaks)
Sir Leakalot (immediately after complaining about leaks, ScaryMooch leaked the fact that Reince Priebus would be asked to resign)
The Straight Shooter (he keeps shooting himself straight in the foot)
The A$$a$$in (he expressed a desire to personally "kill" the leakers even though it was only a dinner list!)
Mr. Irreconcilable Deferences (Michael R. Burch)

Dishonorable Mention: The Hedge Hog (Scaramucci is a hedge fund manager), Mr. Sicko Pants (Scaramucci panted after Trump like a love-sick hound in heat), Mr. Sicko-Fancy (Michael R. Burch), The Human Pinky Ring (Seth Myers), The Human Toilet Plunger (Trump gold-plates his toilets, the Scary Moocher plunges in!), The Human Blow Dryer, Mr. Hair Gel, Deputy DIP-pity-'Do (Michael R. Burch), Spritz Monkey, Spritz Flunkey, The Shitz, Little Anthony and the Diphtherials (Michael R. Burch), Fandango, High C-Note Tony, Little Tony Soprano (Michael R. Burch), The 'Do-Whopper (Michael R. Burch), Frankie Death Valley, Little Tony Tutone (Scaramucci recently cornered the world markets for bronzer and hair gel), Cain, His Brother's Bleeper (Michael R. Burch), Two-Faced Scaramucci (likely to be the lead villain in the next Bratman movie)

Please click here for all Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames

Have no fear, Acting President Jared Kushner is here! Cushy Kushner makes all the major decisions while Truant Trump tweets, poses for photo-ops, gropes women's genitals, sentences babies and grannies to death, cheats at golf, then brags about his "accomplishments" and campaigns for reelection. 



We can all breathe a sigh of relief because Jarhead Kushner is at the ISIS front, using his real-estate negotiation skills to counsel our enemies and console our troops! Trump's youthful Aide de Kampf will never rest until WWIII is well underway, and completely irreversible. There will soon be a remake of Full Metal Jacket starring Jarring Kushner in Full Dinner Jacket (and Tie). Little Lord Fauntleroy will also star in Ralph Lauren of Arabia, The Shilling Fields, PeeWee's Big Adventure and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner then Whines about the K-Rations.

The Top Ten Jared Kushner Nicknames

Vanilla ISIS
Ralph Lauren of Arabia (@ChannelTrump)
Cushy Kushner and Little Cushball (Alec Baldwin on SNL)
Aide de Kampf (Michael R. Burch)
Acting President Kushner
Coup D'Tot (Michael R. Burch)
Little Lord Fauntleroy (Duratti on Daily Kos)
The Easebroker (expecting Jared Kusher to produce peace in the Middle East is like believing in the Tooth Fairy!)
Fratsputin
Putin's Protégé

Dishonorable Mention: Putin's American Viceroy, Putin's American Vice-Boy, Putin's Cush-Toy, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poppet, Putin's Proxy, Comrade Kushner, The Air (Steve Bannon, because Kushner glides in and out like a puff of air), The Secretary of Everything (his White House nickname), Madame Secretary, Jared the Pallid, The Paladin, Jared the Unready, Fully Transparent Boy (he claimed to be "fully transparent" on Russia.), Poor Little Rich Bitch, Little Jared (Ana Navarro), Baby Boy (Ana Navarro), Jarhead, Jarred Jared, Jarring Kushner, The Boy Blunder, Nimrod (Nimrod, the son of Kush, was the founder of Babylon), Son of Babylon (the name Jared means "descent" so he is the "Son of Kush," the patriarch of Babylon), The Crown Prince of Babble-On, Lucifer Incarnate, Channel 666 (Jared Kushner and his wife Ivanka Trump own 666 Fifth Avenue, purchased for $1.8 billion or 6+6+6 billion), The Neophyte, Complete Fucking Idiot (Samantha Bee), The Piece Broker, The Piss Broker

Please click here for all Jared Kushner Nicknames

The Top Ten Ivanka Trump Nicknames

Ivanka Tramp
Ivanka Wanker (I Wanna Wank Her)
Ivanka Spanker (I Wanna Spank Her)
Proxy Wife
Nordic Goddess and The Norwegian Wood Inducer
Trophy Daughter and The First Lady-Daughter
Kushner's Crush and Kushner's Cush Toy
The Favorite and The Hot One
The Smart One and Michael (after Michael Corleone, "the smart one" in the Godfather movies)
I Candy

Please click here for all Ivanka Trump Nicknames



The Top Ten Steve Bannon Nicknames

Acting President Bannon
The Ringleader
The White Nationalist Torchbearer
Trump's Torch
My Steve (Donald Trump)
Trump's Brain (Elizabeth Williamson)
Loose Cannon Bannon
Mr. Alt-Right
Darth Bannon
The Great Boor of Babble-On

Dishonorable Mention: Trump's Thomas Cromwell (Bannon himself), Stone Cold Crazy Steve Bannon, Mr. Alt-Reich, The Alt-Reichmaster, Mr. ALT-CONTROL-DELETE, The Alt-Right Igniter, The Breitbart Fart, Stephen KKK Bannon, Darkness Incarnate, The AmeriKlan Idol, Deceivin' Stephen, Darth Vader, Sith Lord Bannon, Darth Insidious, Sauron, Sour-Hun, The Great Manipulator (TIME), The Amerikan Goebbels, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, (David Letterman), Deep State Stephen, Supremacist Steve, Stephen Stipulator, The Svengali, Gríma Wormtongue, The Alt-Right Ideologue (Elizabeth Williamson), Bannon the Barbarian, The Leninist, Bye Bye Bannon, Banned Bannon,
Ban on Bannon, Trump's Eminence Grise (David A. Graham)

Marsha Blackburn Work B**ch.

The Top Ten Marsha Blackburn Nicknames

Creature from the Black Marsh
Marshy and Swampy
The Swamp Mistress
Koch Addict
Marsha Blackburner
Blackguard
Black Heart
Black Turn
The Black Abyss of Ignorance
Deputy Whip

Dishonorable Mention: Blackweird, Blackbeard, Creature from the Orange Lagoon, Tennessee Trash

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Pompous Mike Pompeo has a plan. The smirk tells you all you need to know about his intentions.

Mike Pompeo Nicknames

Pompous Mike Pompeo
Drone Strike Mike
Koch Addict
Wichita Lineman
Koch Float
Koch Zero
The Congressman from Koch
Mr. Dark Money
Mount Pomp-Pay
Pompous Asshole

Dishonorable Mention: Putin's Puppet, Putin's Pompous Pimp, The Torture Apologist, The Tea Party Firebrand, Tempest in a Tea Pot, Armageddon Mike, The True Deceiver, Mr. Metadata, The Matador, The Spymaster, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold War

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo Quotations

I came, I saw, I bonkered.
Koch Industries is an amazing business! (They give me lots of money to f*** you over!)
The sooner we act, the sooner we can start turning the tables on cyber attackers. (But not if they help Mr. Putin and Donald Trump!)

Sam Nunberg Nicknames

Human Wikileak (Trevor Noah)
Stunberg and The Stun of Sam
Fruit of the Loon (Michael R. Burch)
Nutty Buddy
Human Meltdown
Psycho Sam
Whine-o
Drunk Tank Escapee
Rebel Without a Clue (Michael R. Burch)
The Flying Nunberg (Michael R. Burch)

Dishonorable Mention: Nanoo Nunberg, Sam the None, Slammer Sam, The Erratic, The Lone Deranger, Revenge of the Turd, Trump's Twitter account brought to ghoulish life

Sam Nunberg has all the reserve of a howler monkey escaped from the zoo.—Jack Shafer


Inmate No. 666, Devin Nunes, awaits his eternal sentence. The day his deceitful memo was released, the stock market crashed 666 points!

Devin Nunes Nicknames

Fake News Nunes (Michael R. Burch)
Known-Nothing Nunes (Michael R. Burch)
Mr. Misinformation (Michael R. Burch)
Numbnuts Nunes
Devin Devil
Inmate No. 666
The-Devil-Made-Me-Do-It Devin
The 40-Year-Old Virgin (SNL's Colin Jost)
Leavenworth Devin
High Nunes
Nanu Nanu Nunes
Narc
Little Squealer
Perp
Trump's Stooge (Nancy Pelosi)
The Trump Enabler
The Trump Fellater
The Sicko-Phant
The FBI Fibber
House Intelligence Chairman (NOT!)
Chipmunk Cheeks Nunes
Sad Hamster Nunes

The Top Ten Donald Trump Nicknames ... Oh Hell ... So MANY to Choose from ... Better Make it the Top 1,000!

(#1) Number one, with a bullet: THE ANTICHRIST — by God and the Hebrew prophets — when they spoke of "the Trump of Doom" and a "little horn" were they speaking literally? (For a YUGE slew of 666 connections, see Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?)
(#2) Short-Fingered Vulgarian — by Graydon Carter
(#3) Agent Orange — by Anonymous (not sure if it was coined by the hacker group Anonymous, but this is one of my all-time favorites)
(#4) Golden Wrecking Ball — by Sarah Palin (who was not trying to be funny, but ended up being all too accurate ... so sad!)
(#5) Fuckface von Clownstick, Comedy Entrapment and Unrepentant Narcissistic Asshole (the UNAbomber?) — by Jon Stewart
(#6) The White Kanye ― by Bill Maher (or is Trump more accurately the Yellow-ish-Orange Kanye?)
(#7) Lord Voldemort, Orange Anus and Snake Oil Salesman — by Rosie O'Donnell
(#8) The Trump of Doom — by Michael R. Burch (adopted from the Bible and first used in a possibly prophetic Facebook post on September 11, 2015)
(#9) Thurston Shitbag the Third — by Bill Maher
(#10) Man-Baby — by Jon Stewart ... this one inspired a slew of jokes and similar nicknames ...

Please click here for all Donald Trump Nicknames

Q: What do you call it when a Man-Baby takes over the American government?
A: Coup d'Tot!

President Donald Trump signed bills in the  Roosevelt Room of the White House on Monday.

Tiny Hands Trump uses the world's smallest pen and desk to sign his latest dictatorial proclamations at his Birther Boy coming-out party. The women pictured are nannies beseeching the Boy Blunder to take a nap and stop bullying the world, but Man-Toddler Trump will have none of that! Bratman believes in ACTION, but he is no superhero. Short Attention Span Trump is the new official poster child for ADD. According to CIA Director Mike Pompeo, the mADD Man-Imp prefers his "intelligence" to be delivered with colorful pie charts, maps, pictures, videos and "killer" graphics. In other words, make military intelligence more entertaining, more exciting, more funlike a cartoon! Such is the Boychurian Candidate's latest thought bubble. Fortunately the Combover Kid's undersized hands are too tiny, weak and delicate to key in the nuclear codes, but it's not for Bratman's lack of trying to blow up the world!

President Donald Trump holds up his pen after signing the Historically Black Colleges and Universities HBCU Executive Order, Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017, in the Oval Office in the White House in Washington.

Trump's nannies applaud as Widdle Donnie Whinydiaper learns to operate a pen with his teeny-tiny fingers. The Brooklyn Brat is certainly proud of his "big boy" accomplishment. But so far no one has been able to potty-train the Boss Baby's mouth (or his Twitter account)!

White House insiders have been calling the president Don Corleone and Dumb Corleone because of his mob boss mentality. His oldest son Donald Trump Jr. is Fredo (the dumb son who keeps shooting himself in the foot), while Ivanka is Michael (the smart one). There is no doubt that Ivanka is the Godfather's favorite, since he gave her a position in his administration along with her husband Little Lord Fauntleroy. But if Junior is Fredo, wouldn't that make Senior another Fredo? Better call Puffed Up Daddy and his eldest son Dumb and Dumber! But where does this name game leave Eric Trump, a Chip Off The Old Blockhead who may be the dumbest of them all? Is Eric too dumb to be promoted to Sonny? They seem to be a trio of Fredos, so call them the All Fredos or Alfredos for short! But let's not rush to judgment: Bill Maher has compared the Trump brothers to another ill-begotten duo: Uday and Qusay Hussein. That would make their father So Damn Insane, and it certainly seems to suit him.



"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets," Donald "Ponyboy" Trump Jr. told a real estate conference in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In 2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric "the Red" Trump how his father could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And Trump Jr. made the purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents crystal-clear when he informed Jared "Jarhead" Kushner and Paul "Mole" Manafort about the covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton – private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's Watson to figure this one out!

The Top Ten Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames

Junior and Donald Dunce Jr.
Son of Drumpf
Donald Drumpkopf the Lesser
The Good Boy (Donald Trump Sr.)
Ponyboy
The Boy Blunder and Booby
Chip Off the Old Blockhead
Take your pick: Putin's Puppet / Puppy / Proxy / Protégé / Poodle / Lapdog
Fredo Corleone and Frito Corleone and Fraido (because like Fredo he's afraid of his father)
The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

Dishonorable Mention: Little Donnie Diaperpants, Little Donnie Diaperwetter, Public Drunk, The Cheapest Gazillionaire Heirhead (People Magazine, after Junior proposed to Vanessa Haydon with a free ring), The Airhead,
The Bedhead, Mr. Brylcream, Unbonny Donnie and Nondescript Donnie (because Ivanka got all the attention), Groper Jr. and Junior Abuser (he came on to women so strong at frat parties "everyone was warned to stay away from Donnie Trump"), The Great White Hunter (he even posed for a picture holding a severed elephant's tail!), The Gushin' Russian

Please click here for all Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames



Currently Rising: Quasi-Dodo the Hunchback of Notre Shame, after Trump curtsied submissively before the Saudi king in his first official act as an American president abroad. The Big Dipper dropped a pretty little curtsey (for a Shambling Sasquatch, that is) while receiving the Gilded Collar of King Salman Abdulaziz al-Saud. This, after Two-Faced Trump had blasted President Obama for a much more dignified and reserved half-bow several years before, tweeting at the time: "Do we want a President who bows to the Saudis?" A meek little curtsey, however prettily delivered, is far less presidential than a half-bow, so let's add Hippo-CRAZY, The Hissy-Fit Hypocrite and the Hypocritic Oaf to our ever-expanding list of Trump nicknames.

Also Rising: Prima Donald, Sparkly Princess Trumpelina, Dainty Donald, The Ginger Genuflector, Orange O'Hara, Little Miss Teapot and Idiot Abroad (Samantha Bee). Trump loyalist and campaign adviser Roger Stone was livid about the curtsey, tweeting: "Candidly, it makes me want to puke #JaredsIdea." But was it a submissive bow, an obsequious curtsey, or both? One tweeter was happy to explain: "To be fair, first Trump bowed, then he curtsied like a sparkly princess!" Another tweeter adopted Trump-Speak: "Trump has all the best curtsies, nobody curtsies like Trump, everybody says so!" In a similar vein, Trump's submissive gesture was described as "one of the best and bigliest curtsies." However, there was considerable confusion: was the correct hashtag #TrumpCurtsy or #TrumpCurtsey with an "e"? Well, the "e" seems a bit more feminine to us, so we are voting for "curtsey" as befitting Her Royal Highness Princess Prima Donna.

Trump Nicknames Continued, with our High Dishonorable Mentions ...

T-Rump
Truthophobic Trump (Elizabeth Harris Burch)
The Ameri-Con President
SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States)
BLOTUS (Bloated Leader of the United States)
Tie-Coon
The Incredible Bulk (after Trump warned that he would be "very angry" if TrumpCare is not allowed to kill multitudes of Americans)
The Gold Man Sucks President
Daddy Warbucks
Mr. Transparency (after Trump said his wall must be transparent to allow Americans to watch out for flying bags of drugs!)
The Poor Little Rich Bitch
Dire Abby (because Trump gives relationship advice like Dear Abby, but his message is invariably dire)
The Thinskinned Skinflint
Gossamer-Skinned Bully — by Graydon Carter
The White Pride Piper
Orange-Vanilla ISIS
A$$hole
The Wear Wolf of Wall Bleat — by Michael R. Burch
The Fourth Dorkman of the Apocalypse (along with George W. Bush, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann)
Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Braggadocios (one of the cleverest Trump nicknames)

Please click here for all Donald Trump Nicknames

Nicknames for the Trump administration: Trolls Galore (Hillary Clinton), Amoral Flying Monkeys (Keith Olbermann), Rank Amateurs, Amateur Hour at the White House, Alternate Reality TV, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice, KKK: Kooks, Klowns and Kommissars, Den of the Re-Flub-Lycans (Michael R. Burch), Hell on Earth, The Ninth Circle of Hell, The Fourth Reich, Hair Force One, Combover to the Dark Side, Hair Hitler and the Whigs (Michael R. Burch), Trump-Pence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Regressive Reds, The White Supremacist House (Michael R. Burch), The West Wing Sexual Assault Emporium (Michael R. Burch), The Oval Ovary Assault Office, The Ovary Inspection Office (Michael R. Burch), Crack Team of Crackpots (Michael R. Burch), AmeriKlan Idols, Kakistocracy (Ryan Lizza) ...

The Greeks have a word for the emerging Trump Administration: kakistocracy. The American Heritage Dictionary defines it as a “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.” Webster’s is simpler: “government by the worst people.”—Ryan Lizza in a New Yorker article

Please click here for all Donald Trump Administration Nicknames



Damien Trump
and his Stepford Wives meet Pope Francis, who is obviously uncomfortable in the presence of such Darkness and angles his cross slightly to keep them at bay!

Trump family nicknames: The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, The Brooklyn Hillbullies (Michael R. Burch), Donald Duck Dynasty, Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse (Michael R. Burch), The Cold Ones, Children of the Corn, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Bitches of Eastwick

Please click here for all Donald Trump Family Nicknames

The Top Ten Melania Trump Nicknames

The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd)
First Babe
Melanoma
The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan) and The Swamp Queen
Sinderella and Tinderella
Melania Antoinette
The Man-Baby Sitter and The Trump Sitter
The Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in Israel)
The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley)
The Apprentice Bride and Bride of Trumpenstein

Please click here for all Melania Trump Nicknames



Marco Roboto
hugs the First-Lady-Daughter, Ivanka Trump ... talk about uncomfortable!

Nicknames of Trump's Family, Friends, Cabinet and Associates

Trump Immediate Family and Most Intimate Friends

Trump family nicknames: The Brooklyn Hillbullies, Donald Duck Dynasty, Children of the Corn, The Stepfordians, The KKKardashians, Poor Little Bitch Kids, The Four Norsemen of the Trumpocalypse, The Cold Ones

Trump supporter nicknames: Trump Nation, AlieNation, Tramps, Trump's Chumps, Chumpanzees, Putin's Puppets, Putin's Poppets, Re-flub-Lycans, Dumb and Dumber, The Deplorables, The Untouchables, Trumpites, Trumpettes, Trumpeters, Trumpeteers, Trumpniks, Trumpists, Trumpies, Trumpanzees, Trumpkins, Trumpaholics, Trumptards, Trumpster Divers, Trump's Schlumps, Troglodytes, Trump Junkies, The Walking Brain Dead, Groper Groupies, Sheeple, The Lost

G.O.P.
now stands for Government of Putin and it is clearly of Putin, by Putin and for Putin.

Donald Trump nicknames: The Donald, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Poodle, The Brooklyn Bolshevik, Comrade Trumputin, The Russian Mole, Russian's Unwitting Agent, Moscow's Useful Fool, Agent Orange, The Trump of Doom, The ANTICHRIST

Tiffany Trump nicknames: Tiff, Wild Card, Miss Invisible, The Other Daughter, Any Tiff, Tiff Fanny, Fit Fanny, The Unknown Trump

Barron Trump nicknames: Mini-Donald, Little Donald, Poor Little Rich Boy, Barron von Trump

Melania Trump nicknames: The Slovenian Sphinx (Maureen Dowd), Melania Antoinette, First Babe, Melanoma, The Ice Queen (Gloria Erin Ryan), The Swamp Queen, Tinderella, The Trump Sitter, The Trump Swatter (after she slapped her husband's hand away on an airport runway in Isreal), TerminEX, (ditto), The Black Widow, Pussy Bow (because she wore a "pussy bow" to the St. Louis debate), Double Agent (Christen Clifford suggested that the "pussy bow" was a feminist rebuke of her husband's pussy groping), Agent 69, The Superglamorous Stepford Wife (André Leon Talley), Mater Harry (pun on Mata Hari and Dirty Harry), Eye Candy, KKK (her bra size)

Eric Trump nicknames: Eric the Red, Eric the Brain Dead, Eric of Orange, Eric Idle, Mr. Alt-Right, Mr. Roboto, Draco Malfoy, Sonny Corleone, Sonny-Boy, Butthead Trump, Eric the Hysteric, Eric the Cleric, Chip Off the Old Blockhead II

Donald Trump Jr. nicknames: Junior, Dunce Jr., Son of Drumpf, Donald Drumpkopf the Lesser, Ponyboy, Bozo Boy, Booby, Baby Boy, Chip Off the Old Blockhead, Skittles, Grade B T-Rump, Daddy's Human Shield, Beavis Trump, Uday Trump, Fredo Corleone, Fraido, Frayed Dough, The Bedwetter and Diaper Don (because in college he would get drunk, pass out and wet the bed)

"Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross-section of a lot of our assets," Donald Trump Jr. told a real estate conference in 2008, "We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia." In 2014, when golf writer James Dodson asked Eric Trump how his father could finance golf courses when American banks were declining to lend money against such assets, he answered: "We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia." So when Trump Sr. claims to have "no dealings" with Russia, he is obviously lying. And Trump Jr. made the purpose of his treasonous Trump Tower meeting with Russian agents crystal-clear when he informed Jared Kushner and Paul Manafort about the covert operation in an email with the subject heading: "Russia – Clinton – private and confidential." Folks, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes or IBM's Watson to figure this one out!

Vladimir Putin nicknames: Vova, Abaddon (the Angel of Death), Vlad the Impaler, Vladula, Pale Moth (his KGB code name), Darth Vladimir, The Kremlin's Grey Cardinal, Blonde Bond, The Puppet Master, Trump's Controller, The BEAST

Sergey Kislyak nicknames: The Recruiter, The Mole Man, Russia's Top Spy, Trump's Handler, The Impresario

Natalia Veselnitskaya nicknames: Natashe, Natalia Romanova, Zora the Geek, Octohussy, Hussy Galore, Dishonor Blackman, Shill Masters Son, So Long Dimwit Adios, Bonita Booby Trap, Rink-a-Dink Fink, Blog Cabin Girl, High Jinx, Vesper Sinned, Triple X, Trip Lex, Strawberry Yields, Severance, Domino Downfall, Fredo's Downfall, The Knock-Off, Yet Another Loose End, Blunderball 007, Miss Russian Collusion Fusion, Trump Tower's Favored Immigrant (she is on parole with American Immigration), The Prosecutor's Bride (her nickname in Russia during her marriage to Alexander Mitusov)

Rinat Akhmetshin nicknames: Mr. Con-Fusion, The GRUsome Spook, The Mole, Mr. Counter Intelligence, The Propagandist, Putin's Shadow Lobbyist, The Man in the Shadows, The Shadowist, Trump's Controller, AK-47, The Mercenary, Russia's Gun-for-Hire, The Hacker, The Spy Who Came in from the Cold War, The Double-Speak Agent, The Lobbyist, Rinat of the Oligarchs

Aras Agalarov nicknames: The Mogul, The Oligarch, The Donald Trump of Russia, Azerbijani Aras

Emin Agalarov nicknames: Mogul Lite, Little Mogul, The Azerbijani Eminem

Yury Yakovlevich Chaika nicknames: The Crown Prosecutor, Trump's Elector

Rob Goldstone nicknames: The Gold Digger, The Name Dropper, The Pawn Broker, The Bet-Hedger (he posted a selfie of himself in a pro-Russia shirt hours after Trump was elected president), Nebbish Nero, Chubby Caligula, The Oligarch's Intimate

Denis Katsyv nicknames: The Launderer, Mr. Moneybags

Anatoli Samochornov nicknames: The Interpreter

Boris Epshteyn nicknames: Bore Us (his high school nickname), Boris Badenov, Putin's Proxy, The Russian Surrogate, The Rat, The Mole, Moscow's Investment Guru, Frankenstein Epshteyn

Alan S. Futerfas nicknames: Flutter-Fast, Scumsaver, The Mob's Legal Beagle, Mr. Mob, Mr. Mafia, Russian Red Futerfas, The Pork Avenue Trombonist

Rhona Graff nicknames: The Gatekeeper, Keeper of the Graft, Graff Spree

Jamie Gorelick nicknames: The Dropout, The Licked Lawyer

Abbe Lowell nicknames: Prayer Time, Kushner's Last Line of Defense, The Heavyweight

Peter W. Smith nicknames: The Go-Between, Putin's Procurer, The Hacker Backer

The "Big Six" or "Deep State Six"

Paul Ryan nicknames: Lyin' Ryan, Cryin' Ryan, Paul Pot, Pious Paul, Paul Ruin, Small-Ball Ryan, Beaver Cleaver, Eddie Munster, Alfalfa, Mr. 1%, A-ryan, Brown Nose (he was voted "Biggest Brown-Noser" by his graduating class in 1988), Nana Killer, The Granny Killer, Rathole, Trump's Cheerleader (Dan Rather), Ryan's Hopeless

Mitch McConnell nicknames: McCon Hell (Michael R. Burch), Fuckface McTurtlebitch, The Turtle (Jon Stewart), Dick Turtle, Mitch the Snitch, Mitch the Bitch, Mitch the Snitch-Bitch, Mitch the Glitch, Mitch the Twitch, Mitch the Shitz, Mitch Switch Bait, Koch Addict (Michael R. Burch), Ditch McConnell, The Ditch Dweller

Orrin Hatch nicknames: Orrin Goering, Orrin Moron, Orrin Boring, Borin' Orrin, Boring Snatch, The Hatchling, Half-Hatched Orrin, Down the Hatch Orrin, The Albino Weasel, Mucoso

Steve Mnuchin nicknames: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah

Gary Cohn nicknames: Sachs-man, Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Con Tiki, Globalist Gary, The Government Sacker, The Risk Taker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy

Kevin Brady nicknames: Colonel Klink, Death Warmed Over, Mean Ways Brady, Mr. Secret Payoff, The SalesTaxMan, The Sales Tax Shaman

The Rest of Trump's Inner Circle

Stephen K. Bannon nicknames: Acting President Bannon, Stephen KKK Bannon, Loose Cannon Bannon, Darkness Incarnate, AmeriKlan Idol, Deceivin' Stephen, Darth Vader, Darth Bannon, Sauron, Sour-Hun, The Great Manipulator (TIME), The Great Baby-Man-ipulator, The Great Totipulator, The Amerikan Goebbels, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (David Letterman), Steve "Fan Hate" Bannon, Rupert Murder-Doc, Mr. Destructo, Stephen "Sith Lord" Bannon, Supremacist Steve, The Dark Master of Disaster, Stephen Stipulator, Little Stevie Blunder, The Svengali

Kellyanne Conway nicknames: Wrongway Conway (Michael R. Burch), The Spin-Mistress (Bess Levin), Miss Misinformation (Michael R. Burch), The Trump Whisperer (Frank Bruni), Motor Mouth (David Horsey), Smelly Anne Con-Job, Con-Way Twitter ("Can we con our way to the presidency, using Twitter?"), Con-Way Twit, "Nutter Consigliere (Jim Newell), The Mercenary (Jim Newell), Vichy (Stephen Romanenghi), Free Agent (Joe Scarborough), Fact-Free Agent (Michael R. Burch), Fatal Attraction (SNL), Mistress of Propaganda, Bride of Dracula, Spawn of the Undead, The Crypt Keeper, The Cryptomaniac, The Spinstress (Michael R. Burch)

Paul Manafort nicknames: The Count, The Uber-Lobbyist (David Catanese), Putin's Revenge, Yanukovych's Yankee Yanker, Russian Lobbyist-in-Chief, American Mole, The Ultimate Insider, Knuckles, Steamroller, The Six Million Ruble Man

Roger Stone nicknames: Roger Rabid (Michael R. Burch), Dirty Trickster (Elizabeth Burke), Roger the Artless Dodger, Professional Lord of Mischief, State of the Art Sleazeball, Boastful Black Prince of Sleaze, Roger "Glands of Stone," Ratf*cker, The Most Dangerous Person in America Today (The Village Voice)

Chief of Staff Reince Priebus nicknames: Rinse Penis, Rinse Priapus, Prince Penis, Prince Precipice, Prince Rhesus, Prince Rebus, Princess Reba, RNC PR BS (by removing all vowels), E Priebus Loonum, "Rinse Twice and Spit" Priebus, Prince Precipitous, Rancid Rinse, Rancid Penis, Rinse Repeat, The Mincing Prince, Rimjob Precipuss

Trump foreign policy adviser Carter Page nicknames: Stranichkin (Russian for "little page"), The Window Dresser, Putin's Page Boy, Putin's Pimp, Putin's Apologist, Moscow's Brazen Apologist (Michael Isikoff), Trump's Moscow Mystery Man (Julia Ioffe), The Russian Mole, The Gazprom Greaser, Who? (Corey Lewandowski, Politico, Bill Browder and other Real Experts on Russia)

Sarah Palin nicknames: Sarah Barracuda, Sarahcudda, Caribou Barbie, Half-Baked Alaskan, Moose-o-lini, The Wasilla Gurlilla or Gurlzilla, Whore of Babble-On, The Wasilla Hillbilly, Mama Grizzly, Palin-Drone, McCain's Bane, Weepin'-'n'-Wailin' Sarah Palin (Michael R. Burch)

Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch nicknames: Darth Evader, Goldman Sachs' Rubber Stamp, A$$hole, The Unjust Justice, The Grinder (for grinding ordinary Janes and Joes under the crushing wheels of corporations), The Greek Geek, Fratboy, FIJI-boy and the Fraternizer (for defending his college frat against charges of date rape)

Bill O'Reilly nicknames: Shill O'Reilly, Bull O'Really, Bill O'Goods, The Spin Zone Doctor, The Spin Doktor, The Spin DoKKKtor, Papa Bear (Stephen Colbert), Mr. Sexual HarA$$ment, Sex Beast, Sexual Predator, The Permanent Vacationer, Big O (George W. Bush), Podzilla (since his new medium will be podcasts)

Corey Lewandowski nicknames: Gory Corey, Mr. Assault and Battery, The Lobbyist, Never-Elected (he received a whopping 7 votes in his first election campaign and never won an election), The Wand of Death

Trump's Cabinet

Trump cabinet nicknames and Trump administration nicknames: Monster's Ball (David Axelrod), The White Supremacist House, The Sicko-phants (Michael R. Burch), Trumplandia, The Swamp Cabinet, Ku Klux Kabinet, KKK-Mart, Three-Ring Circus, Killer Klown Kar, The Roundhead Table, The West Wingers, The West Wingnuts, Moscow on the Hudson (Michael R. Burch), The AmeriKKKan Kremlin, The Kremlin Connection, Putin's Puppets, Putin's Proxies, Dr. Strangelove & Co., Dawn of the Brain Dead, The Underlings, The A$$lickers, The Re-Cuss-Ants, The Cowering Inferno, The Undivine Comedy, The Kings of Unintentional Comedy, The Tenth Circle of Hell, Trump's Inner Circle = Trump Sinner Circle

Vice President Mike Pence nicknames: Hoosier, Cuddles, Trumpence None the Retcher (Michael R. Burch), Silver Faux Fox, The Mad Monk, Dense Pence, Out of the Loop Dupe (USA Today), Mike Pensive, The Foxhole Huddler, The Fence Sitter, THE VICEROY, The Vice Antichrist

Secretary of State Rex Tillerson nicknames: T-Rex, Rexosaurus, T-Wrecks, Rex Drillerson, Rex Shillerson, Rex Killerson, Rex Billerson, Putin's Puppet, Putin's Rasputin (Michael R. Burch), Rexputin, The Invisible Man, Secretary of Wait (Michael R. Burch), Secretary in State (Michael R. Burch), Deep State Secretary

Secretary of Energy Rick Perry nicknames: Crotch (because he wore tight jeans and "adjusted" himself often), Dumbass, Secretary of the Department of Oops! ("Whazzat? Duh, I forget!"), Rick Fairy, Rick Moronic, Rick Moreanus, Texas Toast

Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos nicknames: Cruella DeVos, Cruella DeVile, Diva DeVos, DeVile DeVos, DeVoid DeVos, Devolution DeVos, Wetsy Betsy, Betsy Dross, The Education Terminator, Madame DeVoucher

Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin nicknames: Hedge Hog, PAC-man, No-Chin Mnuchin, The Foreclosure King, The Forecloser, The Double-Downer, The Granny Terminator, Dune Messiah

Secretary of Defense James Mattis nicknames: Mad Dog, Warrior Monk, Mad Monk, Chaos (his very appropriate call-sign)

Former Secretary of Defense Mike Flynn nicknames: Dr. Strangelove, In Like Flynnt, Red Flynnstone (Michael R. Burch), "Flynn Facts," Putin's Pawn, Amerika's Angriest General, Flynnskint, Red Flynn, The Canary (because he's about to sing like one)

Secretary of Agriculture George Ervin Perdue III nicknames: Sonny, Ophie Junior (his mother's name was Ophie), The Rainman (he once "prayed up a storm" pleading for rain)

Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke: Rinky-Dink Zinke, The SOFA Commando (Special Operations Fraud & Anarchy), The Bozeman Bozo, The Knife Collector, On-the-Blink Zinke

Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross nicknames: Ross Rothschild (he worked for N. M. Rothschild & Sons), The Bankruptcy King, Wilbur Wrong Force, Heavens to Betsy Ross

Secretary of Labor Andrew Puzder nicknames: Putz Puzder, Colonel Klink, CKE-n Little, The Wage Terrorist, The Wage Deflator, The Lowballer, The Burger-Bikini Baron, Randy Andy

Secretary of Labor Alexander Acosta nicknames: Alex, Dean, Trump's Token Hispanic, The Exile (his parents are Cuban refugees)

Secretary of Health & Human Services Tom Price nicknames: The Amerikan Mengele, Tom Sellout, One Man Death Panel, The Six Million Death Man, Tom Thumb, Tom "Profit More" Price, Tom "the Price is Your Life"

Secretary of HUD Ben Carson nicknames: Psychopath (Donald Trump), HUD Ornament (Michael R. Burch), Crazy Ben Carson, Dummy (his childhood nickname), Eli (his Secret Service code name), One Nation (his choice)

Secretary of Veterans Affairs David Shulkin nicknames: Skulkin' Shulkin (Michael R. Burch), The Designated Survivor

Secretary of Homeland Security John F. Kelly nicknames: Hobo, The Hitcher (he hopped freighters in his youth), Moonshine ("My first time overseas was taking 10,000 tons of beer to Vietnam!")

Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao nicknames: Mrs. Mitch McConnell, Tiger Wife (Stuart Bloch), Madame Secretary, Fireworks, Short Fuse

Deputy Attorney General Dana J. Boente nicknames: Deputy Dawg, Trump's Lapdog, Barney Fife, Goober, The Decoy

Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein nicknames: Rosey Red, Russian Red, Red Rod, Rowdy Roddy Fib-Piper

Attorney General Jeff Sessions nicknames: The Hobbit (Trevor Noah), Nervous Tick (Conan O'Brien), Kangaroo Court Sessions, Hessian Sessions, Secessionist Sessions, Russian Red Sessions, Rushin' Sessions, Stressin' Sessions (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Stonewall Sessions, Jefferson "No Regard" Sessions (his full name is Jefferson Beauregard Sessions), Disjointed Sessions, Nervous Nellie, Detour-ney General, Round-a-Bout Bubba, The Mal-Lingerer, Sgt. Schultz ("I know nutthink!"), General Beau-Beau (rhymes with "Do-Do" like the bird)

Trump's Allies, Supporters, Henchmen, Associates and Lapdogs

White House Pres Secretary Sean Spicer nicknames: Scary Spicer (Elizabeth Harris Burch), Vanilla Spice, Vanilla Spicer, The Spice of Death, Sean Sphincter (College Voice), Hedgehog and Hedge-Dodger (after Spicer hid behind a hedge to avoid reporters), Spittler, Shitler, Twitler, The Holocaust Apologist, The Mouthpiece (David Horsey), Spicy, Motor Mouthpiece, Sean "the Truth Icer" Spicer, Sean "Dawn of the Dead" Spicer, Spokestoady, Spokestwit, Spokestot, Spokesboy, Spokestoddler, Spokestool, Spokesmoron, Spokesliar, Spokeswhiner, Press Reagent, Full Court Press, The Tass A$$, Tass Light, The Tass-manian Devil, Amerikan Goebbels, Wormtongue, Sinister Spice, Little Tattletale Teller, Sauerkraut Spicer, Five Alarm Spicer, The S**t Spicer, Tokyo Rose, Spastic Spicer, Trump's Human Twitter Feed, The Baghdad Bobblehead, Spiced Whiner, Spiced Lice, The Slime Spreader, Skippy, Old Spice, The Depressing Press Secretary, Former Press Secretary, The High Wire Liar

Chair of the House Oversight Committee Jason Chaffetz nicknames: Chaff, Chaffy, Chaff-Lips, Chipmunk, Chipmunk Cheeks, Cheeky, No-Tell Hotel Chaffetz, Grandstanding Charlatan (Heather Digby Parton), Jason "Putin on the Ritz" Chaffetz, (Michael R. Burch), Jason and the Ego-Nuts (Michael R. Burch), Half-Assed Chaffetz

House Intelligence Chairman Devin Nunes nicknames: Known-Nothing Nunes, Numbnuts Nunes, Devin Devil, Nanu Nanu Nunes, See-no-Evil-Hear-no-Evil-but-sure-as-hell-embrace-Evil Nunes

Erik Prince nicknames: The Prince of Darkness, Creature from the Blackwater Lagoon, The Mercenary, Soldier of Misfortune, The Envoy, Trump's Unofficial Russian Envoy

Congressman Dana Rohrabacher: Putin's Favorite Congressman, Putin's Apologist, Putin's Proxy, Assad's AmeriKlan Ally, Dana the Red, Red Dana, Dirty Dana 
SEC Chairman Walter J. Clayton nicknames: Jay, Jaybird, The Bailout King, The Wall Street Jaywalker, Goldman Sacks Washington, Hatin' Clayton

Trump donor Robert Mercer nicknames: Hedge Hog, PACman, Dark Money, The Megadonor, Merciless Mercer, Ming the Merciless, The Cluster Fucker, The Quant King, The Money Man, The Cat Talker, Bob

Trump donor Rebekah Mercer nicknames: Bekah, Bekah Bilker, Bannon's Backer, The Whiny Hellcat

Director of the National Economic Council Gary Cohn nicknames: Sachs-man, Cohn's Disease, A$$hole, Con Tiki, Globalist Gary, The Government Sacker, The Risk Taker, The TARP King, Bailout Boy

Legislative Affairs Assistant to the President Marc Short nicknames: Short of the Marc, Shortstop, Shortcut, Koch Addict, Koch Lite, The A$$-istant, Dark Money Marc, Junior Asshole, Short Attention Span Marc, The Dark Money Operative

Comptroller of the Currency nominee Joseph Otting nicknames: Outed Otting (after he claimed to have a degree from Dartmouth that Dartmouth doesn't even offer), "Leave it to Otter" Joe

Felix Sater nicknames: The Margarita Assassin, Felix Satyr, Red Felix, The Hudson on Moscow (Sater worked on plans to build a Trump Tower in Moscow), The Red Turk

Mitt Romney nicknames: Bishop Romney, The RomneyBot, Plastic Man, Bain in the Ass (David Letterman's #1), King of Bain (Newt Gingrich), Mitt the Twit (The Sun of London, Rupert Murdoch), Mr. Magical Undies

Mike Huckabee nicknames: Judas, Huckster Huckabee, Huckleberry Spin, Huckmaster General, Huck Fuckabee, Huck Upchuck, Brother Smother, Tax Hike Mike, Triple Wide, Duck Hunter

Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders nicknames: Miss Huckster, Basic Atrocity, Women's Fibber, Sister Smother, Slimy Sellout, Train Wreck, Miss Derailment, Faux News Vixen, Lil' Spice, Less Seasoned Spice

Chris Christie nicknames: Christie Kreme, The Illsbury Dough-Boy, Cookie Monster, Big Boy (George W. Bush), Pork Chop, Enormes Pantalones, Pufferfish, Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Trump's Cream Puff, "Beached" Whale, Beach Boy, The New Jersey Sunblocker, Cripsy Christie

Ann Coulter nicknames: AnnThrax, Coultergeist, Beltway Barbie, Cuckoo Coulter, Chairman Ann, Ann Coltrear, Colt 34D (allegedly her bra size, but a man would have to drink a helluva lot of Colts to be sure!)

Joe Arpaio nicknames: Wyatt Twerp, Boss Hogg, Big Pig, The Maricopa Madman, Captain James Tiberius Jerk, Colonel Klink, Officer Loco, Wiley E. Peyote, Lawrence of Insania, Tonto, Prickzilla Queen of the Desert

Jeb Bush nicknames: Tortoise (George W. Bush), Low Energy (Donald Trump), Eveready (Jeb's retort to Trump when asked to pick his Secret Service code name), Veto Corleone, The Bushmaster, Bush League, Gator

Carly Fiorina nicknames: Chainsaw Carly (for all the jobs she cut at HP and Compaq), Golden Parachutress, The Anti-Hillary, Secretariat (her choice for a Secret Service code name)

John Kasich nicknames: Pope (he wanted to be the pope as a boy), Unit One (his choice for a Secret Service code name), Unit Two (his wife's alternate suggestion!)

Rand Paul nicknames: Mr. Nerdy Perm, Mr. Poodle-'Do, Mr. Death Spiral, Mr. Just-Kill-Them-All!, Truly Weird Rand Paul (Donald Trump), Justice Never Sleeps (his choice for a Secret Service code name; he later called it "one of those nicknames you try to make happen and miserably fail")

Scott Walker nicknames: The Desperado (in his high school yearbook), Niedermeyer (after an overly aggressive ROTC leader in the movie Animal House), Scott Balker, Harley (his choice for a Secret Service code name)

Rupert Murdoch nicknames: Rupert Murder-Doc, Papa Doc, Ru Paul (Stephen Colbert), The Last Press Baron (CNN), the Dirty Digger (Ian Hislop), the Mudslinger, the Faux Fox, Murdoch of the Mammaries

Roger Ailes nicknames: Roger the Unartful Dodger, The Sex Cadger Codger, Roger Flogger, Roger the Sex Rabbit, The Predator, The Human Toad (SemDem on Daily Kos)

Sean Hannity nicknames: Sean O'Scammity (Michael R. Burch), Sean of the Dead, Lumpy (Jon Stewart), Handy Hannity, Shammity, Sean Vanity, Sean Insanity, Loverboy, Flubberboy

Trump lawyer Sheri A. Dillon nicknames: Gunsmoke (pun on Matt Dillon), The Smoking Gun, The Hired Gun, Ms. Trust (pun on "mistrust"), Trump's Legal Beagle

Michael Steele nicknames: The Sesame Street Guy (Jon Stewart, who compared him to Grover), The Man of Steal (pun on stealing elections and human rights, two GOP objectives)

Rob Portman nicknames: Beltway Rob, PAC-Man, The Lobbyist, The Insider, The Outsourcer, The Job Robber, Washington's First Porter, Any Port in a Shit Storm, Portmanteau

Rod Blum nicknames: Bloomin' Idiot, The Screener, The Stalker, The Quitter (after Blum stalked out of an interview in which he was asked why he screens attendees of his "public" meetings)

Trump senior political adviser Stephen Miller nicknames: Young Gargamel (Stephen Colbert), Sméagol (Trevor Noah), Basic Henchman  (Trevor Noah), Master of Mendacity (Frank Vyan Walton), Neo-Jackboot (Frank Vyan Walton), The Love-Wall-Builder, "Mad Men" Miller, The Sh*tstreamer, The True Believer & Deceiver

Rudy Giuliani nicknames: Trudy, Julianne, Rudy the Red-Nosed Panderer, Amerika's Scariest Mayor, Rude Rudy, Trump's Scamp-aign Manager, Batshit Crazy Rudy

Others

Trump donor Sylvain Mirochnikoff nicknames: The Trader, The Director, The Exotic Equity Derivatives Trader
Trump spokesperson and attorney Michael D. Cohen nicknames: Kremlin Charlie, Lavrov's Dog (pun on Pavlov's Dog)
Deputy National Security Adviser K. T. McFarland nicknames: Far-Out McFarland, The Ditz, McFibber, The Airhead
Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategy Dina Habib Powell nicknames: Sachs-girl, Sachs Diva
Deputy Chief of Staff Rick Dearborn nicknames: Deputy Lap Dawg, Greenhorn Dearborn, Stillborn Dearborn, Red Rick, Russian Rick
Deputy Communications Director Jessica Ditto nicknames: Ditto, "Ditto That," Miss Redundant, Bevin's Bane, Trump's Blonde Brander  
Personal Aide John McEntee nicknames: Aide de Camp, Aide de Kampf, Teed-Off McEntee
Deputy Chief of Staff Joe Hagin nicknames: Ragin' Hagin
Executive Assistant Madeline Westerhout nicknames: Trump's Toady, Wicked Witch of the Westerhout
Director of Oval Office Operations Keith Schiller nicknames: The Shill
Newt Gingrich nicknames: Tadpole, Angry Tadpole, Angry Muffin (Peggy Noonan), Bloated Bullfrog, The One Stop Lobby Shop
Mike Pompeo nicknames: Pompous Asshole, Putin's Pompous Pimp
Peter Navarro nicknames: The EEKonomist, Bullshitter in the China Shop
Deputy Chief of Staff Katie Walsh nicknames: Welshing Walsh, Katie Bar the Door
Director of Strategic Communications Hope Hicks nicknames: Hopeless Hicks, Tricky Hicky
Antonin Scalia nicknames: Antonin "Scaly" Scalia, Nino (Spanish for "infant"), El Nino, El Ninny
Anthony Scaramucci nicknames: Anthony "Scary" Scaramucci, Scarface
David Melech Friedman nickames: Moloch, Fried Brain Man, Mr. Apartheid, Israel's Goebbels
Sebastian Gorka nicknames: Gorky Park, Dorky Park, Borat, The Irregular, The Mad Hungarian, The Hun, The Incredible Shrinking "Expert" Witness
Carl Icahn nicknames: Mr. Delorean, Mr. Bailout, Mr. Too Big Not to Fail, The Grey Grifter, Back to the Suture, The Artful Dodger
Daniel Coates nicknames: Dan, Offshore Dan, Coates of Many Colors
White House Counsel Don F. McGahn nicknames: The Enabler, Cover Artist, Undercover Artist (he does cover songs), Guitar Dan
Michael Dubke nicknames: Mike, Karl Rove Jr., Mystery Man, Happy Warrior
Peter Navarro nicknames: Novice, Nutjob, Ninny
Ajit Pai nicknames: Dark Yoda, The Agitator, The Net Neutrality Negator, The Broadband Baron, Big Brother, Trump's Sinister Swami
Glenn Beck nicknames: Voldemort, Emotional Fescue (Michael R. Burch), American Rhodes, Glen "Weepin'-'n'-Wailin'" Beck
Kevin McCarthy nicknames: Kevin “Loose Lips Sink Ships” McCarthy
Dave Brat nicknames: Bratman, Terrible Tyke, Dark Night of the Soul
Raul Labrador nicknames: Raul "Lapdog" Labrador, Black Lab, Trump's Retriever, Labrador Guppy
Dick Cheney nicknames: The Penguin, Mr. Vice, Big Time (George W. Bush), Duke Nukem
Donald Rumsfeld nicknames: Rummy (George W. Bush), Rheumy, Rheumatoid
Karl Rove nicknames: Turd Blossom (George W. Bush), Turd Polisher (George H. W. Bush), Rover, Red Rover, Red Raver
John Boehner nicknames: Boner (George W. Bush), Orange Man, Trump's Tan Companion
John McCain nicknames: Hogan (George W. Bush), The Maverick (Sarah Palin)
Maureen Dowd nicknames: The Cobra (George W. Bush), Howdy Dowdy, Dowdy Do-Wrong, Fraulein Dowdy
Kayleigh McEnany nicknames: Kellyanne Lite, Inane McEnany, McLiar, Blond Bombshell Exploding into Alternative Facts
Dan Scavino nicknames: Scarface, The Scavenger, Social Media Czar, Trump's Twitter Babysitter (Michael R. Burch)
David Bossie nicknames: Bossy, the Boss, Bessie
Secretary of the Army Mark Green nicknames: Greenhorn, Greensleeves, Emergency!, The Medic, Critical Care, The Homophobe
National Security Adviser General Herbert Raymond McMaster nicknames: Master of Disaster, McMonster, H.R., Bannon's Banisher
Ezra Cohen-Watnick nicknames: The Tapp Dancer, Deep Bloat, The Informant, The Whistleblower (Paul Ryan), Flynn's Flunked Flunkey
Michael Ellis nicknames: Eely Ellis, The Eel, Ellis Islander, Deep Bloat II
John Eisenberg nicknames: The Illegal Eagle, Deep Bloat III, Iceberg
Billy Bush nicknames: Bush League, The Bush Beater
Richard LeFrak nicknames: The Mogul, The Overseer
Harrison LeFrak nicknames: The Brain, Dirty Harry
Chris Ruddy nicknames: Ruddy Buddy, Trump's Spokespal, Newsminion, The Smokescreen, Russian Red Ruddy, Chris Phish, Bad Fungus
Jeff Flake nicknames: The Flake, Snow Flake, Corn Flake, Flake the Snake, Fake Spews
Senator Dean Heller nicknames: Heller High Water, Hell's Bells, The Hellion, The Dean of Healthcare Hell, Hell on Greased Wheels
Tom Cotton nicknames: Cottonmouth, Cotton Candypants, White Fluff, The White Cotton King, Uncle Tom, Tehran Tom
John Cornyn nicknames: Corndog (George W. Bush), Cornpone, Corn Prone, Corncob, Corny, KKK Cornyn
Lamar Alexander nicknames: Hedy, Alexander the Ungreat, The Candyman
John Barrasso nicknames: Bare Ass, The Ass, The A$$hole, Wyoming's Doktor, John-Boy
Mike Lee nicknames: Mikey, The General, The Ungreat Dane, Alito Jr.
Cory Gardner nicknames: The Unconstant Gardner, Tory Cory, The GOP Bad Idea Man, C-Money, The Young Gun, Scattershot
Pat Toomey nicknames: Sock It Toomey, Senator Elevator (because he dodged Trump by hiding in an elevator), Stand Pat Toomey
Mike Enzi nicknames: Hate Frenzy Enzi, The Wyoming Homophobe, The Hate Crime Defender
John Thune nicknames: Out-of-Tune Thune, The Giant Killer
AshLee Strong nicknames: Eddie Munster's Press Secretary, The SpinMistress, The Black Widow
James Comey nicknames: Homey Comey, Show Me Comey, The Election Rigger, Trump's Red-Headed Stepchild
Sam Nunberg nicknames: The Nun, Nanoo Nunberg, Sam the None
Marc E. Kasowitz nicknames: Marc the Narc, Case o' Nits
Barry Bennett nicknames: Bennet Dick Arnold, Bare Net Bennet
 
Budget Director Mick Mulvaney nicknames: Mick the Prick, Mick the Vain, Whether Vane Mick, Insane Mulvaney
Attorney Jay Sekulow nicknames: Jaybird, Jaywalker, Jay "Seek the Low Road" Sekulow
Nick Ayers nicknames: Airhead Ayers, Hot Air Ayers
Josh Holmes nicknames: Sherlock Holmes's Dumber Brother, Josh "the Dudd" Holmes
Seema Verma nicknames: The Verminator
Johnny DeStefano nicknames: Stephanie, The Sob Boss, The Headhunter, The Rushin' Recruiter, Mr. Flip Flop
Margaret Peterlin nicknames: The Gatekeeper
Brian Hook nicknames: Hook'n'Crook, The Hooker, Mr. Memo
Corey Stewart nicknames: The Apprentice, Trump's Firee, The Cuckservative, Prince William Unsound, Mr. AR-15

Related pages: Famous Nicknames, Donald Trump Nicknames, Melania Trump Nicknames, Jared Kushner Nicknames, Ivanka Trump Nicknames, Donald Trump Jr. Nicknames, Eric Trump Nicknames, Anthony Scaramucci Nicknames, Mitch McConnell Nicknames, Jeff Sessions Nicknames, Steve Bannon Nicknames, Sarah Huckabee Sanders Nicknames, Judge Roy Moore Nicknames, Kellyanne Conway Nicknames, Paul Ryan Nicknames, Hope Hicks Nicknames, Joe Arpaio Nicknames, Stephen Miller Nicknames, Sean Spicer Nicknames, Devin Nunes Nicknames, Michael Cohen Nicknames, Sam Nunberg Nicknames, Mike Pompeo Nicknames, Mike Pence Nicknames, Marsha Blackburn Nicknames, Diane Black Nicknames, Brett Kavanaugh Nicknames, Matt Whitaker Nicknames, John Kelly Nicknames, Mick Mulvaney Nicknames, James Mattis Nicknames, Donald Trump Cabinet Nicknames, Trump 45 Nicknames, Ted Cruz Nicknames, Marco Rubio Nicknames, Mitt Romney Nicknames, Donald Trump: 666 Mark of the Beast, Is Donald Trump the Antichrist?, The Donald Trump Bible, The Best Donald Trump Puns, The Best Donald Trump Insults, Fact-Checking Trump, Donald Trump Poetry, Donald Trump Violence Quotes, Trump Trivia, Donald Trump Russia Quotes

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