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Betsy DeVos Nicknames
Betsy DeVos Quotes
Betsy DeVos Jokes by SNL,
Samantha Bee, Sandra Bernhard, Zach Braff, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Josh
Groban, Colin Jost, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth McFarlane, Kate McKinnon, Seth Meyers,
Piers Morgan, Trevor
Noah, Conan O'Brien, Henry Winkler, Danny Zuker and Others
This page contains the best
Betsy DeVos nicknames, jokes and quotes that I have been able to
find, plus a few that I came up with myself ...
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Betsy DeVos knows how to buy her way into power. During her confirmation
hearing Diva DeVos admitted that she gave around $200 million
to Republican senators who voted in her favor. But what does the Vice
Principal know about education? Ditzy DeVos knows
"potential" grizzly bears are a far greater danger to students than actual guns
in schools! Next question?
Why would Trump pick someone so unqualified for such an important position?
Well, as Trump said during his campaign, "I love the poorly educated."
The Top Ten Betsy DeVos Nicknames
Cruella DeVile
Diva DeVos
DeVile DeVos
DeVil DeVos
Deaducation Secretary DeVos
Drekretary of Deaducation
Madame
De Voucher
Betsy DeVoid
Ditzy DeVos (Donald Trump)
Dolores Umbridge
Betsy DeVos is the Drek-retary of Dead-ucation because she pushed to force
kindergartners and grade-schoolers to enter unsafe schools, when adults have
been unable to practice social distancing effectively. Apparently, Betsy DeVos
is not smarter than a fifth-grader.
The Clemson and LSU national football championship squads can't field teams,
with 30+ players each testing positive for COVID-19. The super-conditioned
athletes of the Nashville SC can't take the soccer field. Mike Trout, the
greatest baseball player of his generation, may skip an abbreviated 2020 season.
Since adults can't reopen businesses safely, how can we expect children to go
back to school safely? And yet
The Peach with the Bleach and a Brain out of Reach
and his cohort Betsy DeVil DeVos are trying to make
kindergartners and grade-schoolers do what adults can't! How is that not premeditated murder?
Dis-Honorable Mention Betsy DeVos Nicknames
Betsy Dross
Betsy De Gross
Fact-Free Betsy (Michael R. Burch)
Miss
Misinformation
Stuporwoman (Michael R. Burch)
The Wicked Witch of the West Wing
The Trump-et
Little Miss Trumpet
The Yes-Woo-Man
Cruella DeVos
DeVoid DeVos
Devolution DeVos
The Education Terminator
Madame
Voucher
The Segregationist (Randi Weingarten pointed out that private school
vouchers are "only slightly more polite cousins of segregation")
The
Semi-Polite Slighter (Michael R. Burch)
The Chalk Closet Racist
The Do Harm Schoolmarm
Bad Teacher
Delores Dumbridge
Madame Umbrage
Betsy DeVice
The Vice Principle
Secretary of Sledge-ucation
The Cold Medalist (Michael R. Burch)
The
Prim & Proper Propagandist
Trump's SpokesToady (Michael R. Burch)
Trump's Dreckretary of Deaducation (Michael R. Burch)
The Brownnoser
Betsy Antoinette ("Let the children eat bullets!")
Miss Muckup
The Suckup
Wetsy Betsy
Wet Nurse Ratched
Bottom of the Barrel
D.C. Dregs
The Trump Whisperer
The Trump Hisser
The Trump Enabler
The
Trump Fixer
The Wall Nut
The Best Betsy DeVos Jokes and Quotes
I will refer back to Senator Enzi and the school he was talking about in
Wyoming. I think probably there, I would imagine that there is probably a gun in
the schools to protect from potential grizzlies. — Betsy
DeVos
When the U.S. Senate failed to confirm Betsy DeVos as education secretary
in a 50-50 deadlocked vote, Mike Pence became the first vice president in
history to break a Senate tie over a Cabinet nomination.
This produced a number of wisecracks by late-night comedians ...
It was actually a 50-50 tie vote that was broken by the vice president.
Which makes the vote for education secretary the only place where a 51 is a
passing grade. — Jimmy Fallon
There are a hundred senators and she only got the votes of half of them.
So her first act is to make 50% a passing grade. — Stephen Colbert
In Washington today, there was no victory parade for President Trump’s
pick to run the Department of Education. The Democrats pulled an all-nighter in
the Senate to try to get one more Republican to vote against her. They could not
do that, and Betsy DeVos squeaked in 51-50, which is terrible news for Democrats
and even worse news for grizzly bears. — Jimmy Kimmel
Today, the Senate officially confirmed Betsy DeVos as education
secretary, with a vote of 51 to 50. Or as Trump calls that, “a landslide.” —
Jimmy Fallon
It’s come out that Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, who many think is
unqualified, gave big contributions to half the Republican Senators who voted
for her. Or, as Betsy DeVos calls it, “75 percent of them.” — Conan O’Brien
Samantha Bee on Full Frontal:
Pence: "WE WILL CUT THE BABY IN HALF!"
Clerk: "Um, we just need you to cast a tie-breaking vote."
Pence: "IN HALF!!!"
Betsy DeVos confirmed. What is also confirmed is that there is not one single
man of courage in the Republican Congress. — Seth McFarlane
The swamp is being drained and filled with a Chuck E. Cheese sea of plastic
balls. — Josh Groban
Stephen Colbert referred to DeVos as the "woman ahead of you at Starbucks with a
complicated order." He said there was a "tiny chance that money played a role"
in her confirmation. "How much money can she give to each senator to make sure
public schools get less?" he added.
Congratulations Betsy, you're the new pilot of the Hindenburg! Gotta light? —
Stephen Colbert (pointing out that Republicans were trying to junk the
Department of Education at the time Betsy DeVos was so narrowly confirmed)
Stephen Colbert gave an example of "elementary math" under DeVos. "Q: Ned and
Sheryl each have 4 apples. Who has more apples? A: Whomever Mike Pence decides
has more apples."
A terrible moment in US history to confirm such an incompetent person as
#Devos a total rejection of logic or concern for education. — Sandra
Bernhard
"For $200,000,000 you can have whatever job you want," tweeted actor Zach Braff,
referring to the DeVos family's alleged donation of $200 million to the
Republican party, a number DeVos herself acknowledged was possibly accurate
during her confirmation hearing.
Jimmy Fallon said Trump gave the reason he picked DeVos when he said, "I love
the poorly educated."
Seth Meyers brought up Mike Pence casting the unusual tie-breaking vote to
nominate her. "And if you don't know what that means you're probably Betsy
DeVos," he said. Meyers jokingly pretended to be DeVos: "I got confirmed? Well
that's terrible news ... Oh that's good news?"
America has a new Education Secretary who wants guns in schools to protect kids
from Grizzly Bears — who've never attacked kids in schools. — Piers Morgan
Grizzlies .... run for the hills! — Henry Winkler
By supporting the magnificently incompetent Devos the GOP has earned its place
as the most cowardly party in US history. We won't forget! — Danny Zuker
America’s education secretary made a disastrous appearance on 60 Minutes.
Kate McKinnon of Saturday Night Live, playing DeVos in an interview
with Colin Jost on the Weekend Update segment, had the perfect
explanation for DeVos’s epic face plant: “I think the problem is that the words
coming out of my mouth were bad, and I think that’s because they were coming
from my brain. ... I may not be very good on camera, but behind the scenes my
ideas are much worse!”
A snowstorm in the Northeast today caused many schools in the area to close.
Said Betsy DeVos, “What? The school closures weren’t supposed to start yet.” —
Seth Meyers
You just know DeVos only wants to be Secretary of Education so she can
trap some of those kids in her gingerbread house. —
@MykaFox
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