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Chris Christie Nicknames
Chris Christie Quotes
Chris Christie Jokes
This page contains the best
Chris Christie
nicknames, jokes and quotes that I have been able to
find, plus a few that I came up with myself. Chris Christie nicknames
and jokes have been coined by George W. Bush, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon,
Jay Leno, David Letterman, Seth Meyers, Conan
O'Brien and other late night comedians.
The Top Ten Chris Christie Nicknames
The Last Honest Republican
Trump's Bane
Trump's Illsbury Doughboy (Michael R. Burch)
Christ Christie keeps pointing out that the would-be Emperor is running
around starkers.
— Michael R. Burch
The Elephant in the Room (TIME magazine)
Big Boy (George W. Bush)
Enormes Pantalones (David Letterman)
Sammiches
The Oval Officer (Jay Leno)
Chris Christie would put the oval in the Oval
Office.
— Jay Leno
The Wall (Jimmy Fallon)
Sources say that Donald Trump is already finalizing his cabinet in case
he wins tomorrow. Rudy Giuliani would be attorney general, Newt Gingrich would
be secretary of state, and Chris Christie would be the wall.
— Jimmy Fallon
Old Tip a Canoe (Jimmy Fallon)
Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced that he's endorsing Mitt Romney
for president. It's good news for Romney. I mean, you always want Chris Christie
on your side. Unless you're in a canoe. — Jimmy Fallon
Honorable Mention Chris Christie Nicknames
The Love Gov
Corpus Christie
Christie Cream and Christie Kreeme
Moby Christie
Pork Chop
The Pork Dork
The Porky Pine
David Letterman Top Ten Nicknames for Chris Christie
10. Porko Vallarta
9. Don Qui-hefty
8. Enormes Pantalones
7. Boca Rotund or Boca Rotundo
6. Dios Meatball
5. Cinco de Mayonnaise
4. Lap-Bandito
3. Chiportly
2. Gringo Con Carne
1. Dos Neckis
Chris Christie lost his laptop. In his lap.
— David Letterman
The Human Hefty Bag
True Heart or Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name)
Pufferfish
The Bridgegate Bloviator (Michael R. Burch)
El Gigante Douche
Ass Kisstie (Stephen Colbert)
Bubble Boy (Stephen Colbert said Christie would be on his show's "bubble" if he
helped Trump get reelected)
Bridge to Nowhere (Sarah Palin)
Chris Christie Jokes
Sources say that Donald Trump is already finalizing his cabinet in case
he wins tomorrow. Rudy Giuliani would be attorney general, Newt Gingrich would
be secretary of state, and Chris Christie would be the wall.
— Jimmy Fallon
Republican presidential hopeful Chris Christie said this weekend that he
would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge than be in Congress. And just to be
safe, Mayor de Blasio issued a tsunami warning for Lower Manhattan.
— Seth Meyers
According to a new poll, only 19% of New Jersey residents approve of
their governor, Chris Christie. And they're all restaurant owners.
— Conan O'Brien
People are saying Governor Chris Christie is not fit for office. Guess
they'll have to widen the door again.
— David Letterman
This is a candidate we could have all gotten behind.
— David Letterman
Chris Christie lost his laptop. In his lap.
— David Letterman
Chris Christie appeared on four Sunday shows to talk about how much
he didn't want to talk about the presidential race.
— Stephen Colbert
Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the
presidential race. They should try pie.
— David Letterman
Chris Christie would put the oval in the Oval Office.
— Jay Leno
There are skeletons in his closet. Of cows.
— Bill Maher
Yes, Chris Christie is power hungry, but mostly he's just hungry hungry.
— Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
Chris Christie never met a doughnut he wouldn't eat or a Trump ass flank he
wouldn't kick.
— Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"
Chris Christie Quotes
“Man up and say I’m fat.” – Oct. 29, 2009, after Jon Corzine’s campaign
ad hinted at Christie’s weight.
Chris Christie described Trump’s legal team as a “national embarrassment” and
Sidney Powell’s explosive claims as “outrageous conduct.”
“You have an obligation to present the evidence, the evidence has not been
presented,” Christie said about Trump. Here is the quote in context: “Listen,
I’ve been a supporter of the president, I voted for him twice but elections have
consequences and we cannot continue to act as if something happened here that
didn’t happen,” Christie explained on This Week with George Stephanopoulos.
“They allege fraud outside of the courtroom but when they go inside the
courtroom they don’t plead fraud and they don’t argue fraud,” Christie said,
adding “You have an obligation to present the evidence, the evidence has not
been presented.”
“Get the hell off the beach in Asbury Park and get out. You’re done. It’s 4:30,
you’ve maximized your tan. Get off the beach.” – Aug 26, 2011, encouraging
people to leave as Hurricane Irene approached.
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