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Chris Christie Nicknames
Chris Christie Quotes
Chris Christie Jokes

This page contains the best Chris Christie nicknames, jokes and quotes that I have been able to find, plus a few that I came up with myself. Chris Christie nicknames and jokes have been coined by George W. Bush, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Seth Meyers, Conan O'Brien and other late night comedians.

The Top Ten Chris Christie Nicknames

Corpus Christie
Christie Cream and Christie Kreeme
The Shillsbury Doughboy and The Illsbury Doughboy (Michael R. Burch)
The Cookie Monster and The Kooky Monster (Michael R. Burch)
Big Boy (George W. Bush)
Enormes Pantalones (David Letterman)
The Love Gov
The Oval Officer (Jay Leno)

Chris Christie would put the oval in the Oval Office. — Jay Leno

Dis-Honorable Mention Chris Christie Nicknames

The Bridgegate Bloviator (Michael R. Burch)
El Gigante Douche
Ass Kisstie (Stephen Colbert)
Bubble Boy (Stephen Colbert said Christie would be on his show's "bubble" if he helped Trump get reelected)
The Elephant in the Room (TIME magazine)
Moby Christie
The Wall (Jimmy Fallon)
Old Tip a Canoe (Jimmy Fallon)

Today New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie announced that he's endorsing Mitt Romney for president. It's good news for Romney. I mean, you always want Chris Christie on your side. Unless you're in a canoe. — Jimmy Fallon

Pork Chop
The Pork Dork
The Porky Pine

David Letterman Top Ten Nicknames for Chris Christie

10. Porko Vallarta
9. Don Qui-hefty
8. Enormes Pantalones
7. Boca Rotund or Boca Rotundo
6. Dios Meatball
5. Cinco de Mayonnaise
4. Lap-Bandito
3. Chiportly
2. Gringo Con Carne
1. Dos Neckis

Chris Christie lost his laptop. In his lap. — David Letterman

The Human Hefty Bag
The Trump Worshiper
Chris Curtsy (for the way he genuflects to Trump)
True Heart or Trueheart (his choice for a Secret Service code name)
Bridge to Nowhere (Sarah Palin)

Chris Christie Jokes

Sources say that Donald Trump is already finalizing his cabinet in case he wins tomorrow. Rudy Giuliani would be attorney general, Newt Gingrich would be secretary of state, and Chris Christie would be the wall. — Jimmy Fallon

Republican presidential hopeful Chris Christie said this weekend that he would rather jump off the Brooklyn Bridge than be in Congress. And just to be safe, Mayor de Blasio issued a tsunami warning for Lower Manhattan. — Seth Meyers

According to a new poll, only 19% of New Jersey residents approve of their governor, Chris Christie. And they're all restaurant owners. — Conan O'Brien

People are saying Governor Chris Christie is not fit for office. Guess they'll have to widen the door again. — David Letterman

This is a candidate we could have all gotten behind. — David Letterman

Chris Christie lost his laptop. In his lap. — David Letterman

Chris Christie appeared on  four Sunday shows to talk about how much he didn't want to talk about the presidential race. — Stephen Colbert

Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie. — David Letterman

Chris Christie would
put the oval in the Oval Office. — Jay Leno

There are skeletons in his closet. Of cows. — Bill Maher

Yes, Chris Christie is power hungry, but mostly he's just hungry hungry.
— Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Chris Christie never met a doughnut he wouldn't eat or a Trump ass flank he wouldn't kiss. — Michael R. Burch aka "The Loyal Opposition"

Chris Christie Quotes

“Man up and say I’m fat.” – Oct. 29, 2009, after Jon Corzine’s campaign ad hinted at Christie’s weight.

Chris Christie described Trump’s legal team as a “national embarrassment” and Sidney Powell’s explosive claims as “outrageous conduct.”

“You have an obligation to present the evidence, the evidence has not been presented,” Christie said about Trump. Here is the quote in context: “Listen, I’ve been a supporter of the president, I voted for him twice but elections have consequences and we cannot continue to act as if something happened here that didn’t happen,” Christie explained on This Week with George Stephanopoulos. “They allege fraud outside of the courtroom but when they go inside the courtroom they don’t plead fraud and they don’t argue fraud,” Christie said, adding “You have an obligation to present the evidence, the evidence has not been presented.”

“Get the hell off the beach in Asbury Park and get out. You’re done. It’s 4:30, you’ve maximized your tan. Get off the beach.” – Aug 26, 2011, encouraging people to leave as Hurricane Irene approached.

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